First day that I worked with him I looked at him and I saw him walk around and he tells me god damn it, I really am so excited to be working with you because really all this information that you’ve given me today I’ll be able to use in seven months.

And I looked at him and I said seven months?! How did you come up with seven months from now? He said, “That’s when I’m going to be my ideal weight.” So I looked at him, I said “Have you ever been your ideal weight?” He goes never. I said that’s great. I said so in seven months you’re going to finally be your ideal weight: What’s going to happen between now and the next seven months? He says “I’m going to try every diet under the rainbow, one of them sure will be my ideal diet. I picked out seven and each of them is going to take one month to complete, so I’ll know at the end of the month which diet is working, and I’ll stay with it.”

I looked at him and I said you’re mad. I said that’s ridiculous. I said maybe you’re at your ideal weight right now. Maybe you’re supposed to be this way. And he looks at me and he goes “No, no, no I’ve got to be fit, I’ve got to be trim. I’ve got to meet women this way. Women don’t want my body like that.” I said really, there’s tons of women that look like you and tons of women that feel like you.

The Dating Diet

I asked him if he ever thought about going to a gym. He didn’t have time for the gym.

It’s funny how many people will go around and look for the ideal diet but never exercise. Exercise is your ideal diet. I can write up any diet right now for any of you, and I can come up with a wonderful diet that’s really healthy and as long as you work out — I guarantee if you did it every single day over seven months — you would lose weight.

But the problem is everybody’s looking for the miracle diet: The Hollywood diet, the Tampa diet, the New York diet, the dog diet, the cat diet, the “crush it” diet, the “stock market” diet. You know what the stock market diet is? Put your money all in one stock, and watch it go down. And from all the stress in your body you’ll lose all the weight. Here’s another diet, it’s called a baby diet. Put yourself in a room full of seven babies. You’ll never sleep, you’ll never want to eat, your nerves will constantly be frayed from all the crying and screaming, and you lose all the weight. These diets have never been done before, but they’re obviously as good as any other.

So I looked at him during our coaching session, and I said, “Take off your shirt.” So he took off his shirt, and he stood there, and he was trying to cover it all up! He started covering up what he thought was man boobs, and I looked at him, I told him he looked fine, he looked great. This is your body, love it, love it every single day, nurture it every single day, embrace it every day and get your butt to the gym.

“Turn around.” Made him turn around. Checked out his butt, I checked out his body, and I said these are the exercises you need to do: Swim 20 minutes a day, and cardio for 30 minutes a day. Let’s go around and pick out food. That’s what we did the first day: We went, and we picked out foods. Of course we picked out foods, and we were meeting other people and so forth, and what I finally taught him was in life, you might be seven months from having the perfect body, but that’s just your excuse. You meet people every single day. No one’s looking at you and wondering wow I’m going to be really attracted to this person seven months down the road.

I hear comments like this from women almost every day: “David, I saw this guy today and he was so cute. He smiled at me, and I would have loved to have smiled back at him or said hello, but I was all sweaty because I’d just left the gym.” Every part of that statement following the “but” is nothing more than an excuse.

In fact, if you put a blank after the “but” in that sentence then I could fill it in with at least one hundred different excuses just like the “but I was all sweaty” one above. I’ve heard them all, but here are some of the classic ones:

My hair was up in a ponytail.
I didn’t feel sexy that day.
I was having a fat day.
I was wearing an unflattering outfit.
I wasn’t wearing any makeup.
I had coffee breath.
I was chewing and had food in my mouth.
I was on my cell phone.
The list of excuses could go on and on and on . . .

Here is a concept that you must understand, though, and it’s something I’ve been telling women for years: If a man looks at you, then he is attracted to you as you are at that very moment. He doesn’t care (and likely doesn’t know) that you are sweaty, are not wearing makeup, are wearing an old t-shirt that is twelve sizes too big for you, or about anything else.

If a man looks at you when you’re not at your best (or even when you’re at your worst), then he is attracted to you right then and just as you are at that moment. Although he may be imagining (and fantasizing about) what you will look like at your best, he doesn’t really care because all he is thinking about is how he is attracted to you right now.

Think about it. Isn’t this what you really want? Don’t you want a guy who checks you out on a Friday night in Blockbuster when you are dressed in your old sweats, have your hair pulled back in a ponytail and are not wearing any makeup?

It’s what you always claim you want. It’s what women always tell me they want.

You don’t want to have to be made up and perfectly coiffed every minute of your life. You don’t want to have to be dolled up when you’re in the comfort of your own home. You want a guy who is attracted to the real core of who you are as a person.

When you think of it that way, why would you ever make another excuse for why you don’t smile or talk to a guy who is looking at you? You should never let the fact that you are not feeling your best be an excuse for not responding to a guy who is looking at you, because the fact is that they are nothing more than excuses.

So the next time a guy looks at you and you’re not feeling like you’re at your best, you need to remember that he doesn’t know that. The only thing he’s thinking is “Man, I think she’s hot!”

Go and talk to him right now, because there may not be another opportunity with that guy. Why would you waste the opportunity to find out what this guy is all about . . . especially when you already know he is attracted to you?

Life is about taking advantage of opportunities every single day. Stop making excuses, because all the “reasons” you have for not interacting with men are just your excuses.

So the next time you see a potential Mr. Right (or Mr. Right Now) staring at you from across the room when you’re still wearing sweatpants from your trip to the gym, smile and talk to him because he couldn’t care less what you’re wearing! He’s attracted to you and, in fact, will likely be talking about you for the rest of the day telling his friends “Man, I saw this girl tonight in Whole Foods. She had on these sweatpants and she looked so cute!”

Stop judging yourself so much, and start accepting that when a man looks at you he finds you attractive exactly as you are at that moment. Stop over analyzing and start feeling beautiful because the guy checked you out.