…bring your seeing-eye dog with you.

You’ll need some help to navigate the world once you’ve got your love-goggles on.

A client of mine recently sent me an e-mail.

He’s rejoiced—he met a woman.  They’ve been together for two weeks and now he wants to spend the rest of his life with her.

Two weeks.

How in the hell can you know you want to be with somebody for the rest of your life after only two weeks?

I fall into the same trap.

Love is blind. You’re filled will emotion. It’s a high. It’s better than any drug; it’s better than alcohol. It’s better than anything else you’re ever going to experience in your life.

But how can you possibly think you’re going to spend the rest of your life with somebody when it’s only been two weeks?

Yeah I know, there are people that have done it. They’ve met and gotten married two months later and everything is fine.

Absolutely.

I can always think up an example to back up my claim.

But I would say that the majority of the time I hear of a couple falling in love after two weeks, I also hear that it didn’t work out sometime later.

Right?

So we should really consider the help of a seeing-eye dog, because the dog is going to sniff out all the little idiosyncrasies—the things you ignore.

The dog is going to sniff out the early warning signs. They’re going to be able to know that this person’s not for you quicker than you are because you’re going to be caught up in Fantasyland—riding the rides over and over and over again.

You can’t really know somebody until about a year into the relationship. And then between year one and year two, all of a sudden you start making those compromises.

That’s when you start forming the partnership. That’s when real love starts to happen.

That’s when you start to see who the real person is. Love is like a fine bottle of wine. It gets better as it ages.

The beginning of the relationship—you can throw that out. It will never be the way it was in the beginning ever again.

What you’re looking for in love is a real foundation. It’s like a building. You want to build one block at a time, one emotion at time. Love is very powerful.

Real love is really based on your comprises, learning each other, figuring how each other acts in different situations, understanding each other, growing with one another, and then talking about the issues.

Its about communicating everything—how you want your life to be, what are you looking for out of life, whether or not you want kids, how you would want to raise your kids.

There’s so much more to love than just the initial “Woohoo, I’m in love!”

Love is a negotiation, guys.  Love is compromise.  And real love, that takes time.

So for all of you that are fresh in love, enjoy it, but realize there is an expiration date and it becomes real, or it becomes bad, or it becomes over.

Stay focused.  Talk with your partner over and over again.  Make sure your needs, wants and desires are being met.  Make sure you guys can compromise, communicate, talk, work through issues, work through things together, understand one another, and understand one another’s limits.

Compromise is key to partnerships and business.  Love is a business.  You’re not going into business with somebody who you can’t compromise with, or you who doesn’t understand your point of view.

So be careful, the next time you have that rush of love, stay focused. You may realize that half your relationships would have ended a lot sooner if you would have been more aware during the drugged-up beginning stages.

The next time you think you’re in love, open up your eyes a little bit more. Go through my book Naked over and over again. Open your eyes up to the realness of what’s going on.

Love is great. I’m a big fan.  I think it’s a wonderful feeling. I think it’s a wonderful thing shared between two people. But I want love to be real for all of you. I want all of you to really understand the beginning is just a wave of emotion and you need to get past that to see into the core of the person and see if you have a real partnership.

Sometimes my house is called Camp David – no, I don’t have any political heads of state there, nor am I entertaining George Bush, his dog, and all his Washington drinking cronies – but I always seem to have a group (sometimes small, sometimes large) of people hanging out there.

Sometimes on a Bootcamp weekend I’ll have a whole bunch of clients staying over at my house – and then it really is Camp David! It’s like a sleepover. They all bring their sleeping bags, and we go duck hunting in the morning, and then we go do some pow wow stuff. Just kidding, we don’t really do that in the mornings!

So the other night at Camp David we had a couple of people over. There was this one woman there named Amy, and she and Khiem started talking. Khiem wanted to share something that you women tend to do over and over again.

So ladies, as the men would say, this Bud’s for you – I’ll say, ladies, this blog’s for you! Without further ado, here is Khiem.

Khiem: Thanks David. I always enjoy hanging out with you at your house because I can always meet interesting people. Yesterday, I was very fascinated by one of your friends. Amy is obviously beautiful, young and has a lot going for her, but when we started talking, she began to open up about one of her past relationships.

She actually fell very hard for a “bad boy” or a loser. He supposedly did a lot of drugs, drank a lot and he lied to her, which was a big deal breaker for her. She told him upfront that she didn’t like liars and she didn’t like hypocrites.

However, as their relationship developed, she discovered that he lied to her. She broke up with him six months ago, but I found out yesterday she is still heartbroken. She still loves the guy, because they were together for a while.

And the question is why do women get so attached to these kinds of guys?

It was really interesting for me to hear how she wanted him to want her back, but she herself didn’t really want him back. She knew that by going back to him they would go to a place that would not be good for her in the future.

What this made me realize is that Amy valued him a lot more because he made her put up with so much of his shit. Even though he lied and drank, the few times that he actually paid attention to her – the few times he gave her himself – made her value him more. Every time he would ignore her but then turn around and give himself to her, it was like she hit the jackpot.

This is something that is very difficult to understand in the psychology of people because this guy was obviously no good, but because he made himself be valued so highly, she couldn’t let go. At the end of our conversation, Amy admitted that she might just be attracted to bad boys.

But for all of the guys out there, you need to learn to lead. Be more dominant, and be more masculine. The reason that Amy fell so hard for this guy is because he truly led her – through the ups and the downs, and mostly downs in this case – he always led her. He was always doing the things that were most important to him, but incorporating her into his life.

David: What Khiem is really saying is 100% true. Women are attracted to strong, dominant men. Whether this guy was a winner or a loser, he still led her on an emotional journey.

A lot of men will do that to women, lead them up and down, but it’s an adrenaline rush that women get addicted to. Women don’t want you to be soft, and they don’t want you to be needy. Women want you to lead them somewhere. We’ll have to talk about that more deeply in another blog.

Khiem: The interesting thing is that even though it has been six months, and Amy is trying to meet other guys, she mentioned that all the new guys she’s met are highly successful – they have degrees from high-end schools, or have a great job and make great money –she’s still been unable to open her heart to them.

It was very interesting to me because while obviously she is still in love with her ex-boyfriend, the biggest problem is that she wasn’t giving these new guys a chance. She thought that she was by going out with them, but emotionally and mentally she wasn’t judging the new guys with a clean slate. She was always comparing the new guys to her ex-boyfriend.

For girls that have been hurt before and have fallen hard – if you meet a new guy, look at them with a clean slate! If you don’t, you will never see the true positives or negatives that the new guy has to offer. Every person is unique, and as much as you loved your previous boyfriend – they will never be comparable.

David: So that’s why you really should not start dating again until you’ve cleaned house. If you have an old guy or woman in the cupboard, rotting away, you need to clean that up. What will happen if you don’t is that you’ll let a lot of good opportunities pass you by because you’re not emotionally ready.

I never believed in the terminology “dating for substitution.” I’ve found that you don’t date to replace, but you start dating again to start a whole new experience.

Todays video is all about how to create heat and passion on a hot summer night!