David here with another Wednesday podcast.

Today, we talk about something very dear to my heart (and mind):

The Negotiator vs. The Inner Voice Intuition

This could be my favorite podcast ever, so listen up!

After you are done listening, read the question below.

Does The Negotiator battle with your Inner Voice?

Let me know in the comments below!

I’m dedicating this blog to Tony because I think we’re at the same point in our lives. Even though we are not particularly close in age (he’s 39 years old and I’m 46 years old), I believe he and I are at the same point in our lives when it comes to the kind of connection we want to have with women.

Tony and I had a discussion about how we want more than to “just connect” with women, because we’ve already had that with women. We also want more than to just have sex with women, because we’ve already done that with women. It’s about looking for something more than these things.

It’s about connecting with someone on an emotional level so deep that you’re able to really let go of everything you ever wanted to be, to feel and to experience. Life should be all about doing that.

Not only that, but being in love is something that you need to celebrate every day. You need to celebrate being in love.

You need every single day to tell the person you love that you love them. You need every single day to share your thoughts, your feelings, and your emotions with the person you love. If you don’t, then you’re not celebrating your love.

When it comes down to intimacy, you have to really forget about everything you’ve ever done in the past. You need to forget about everything your body has learned, and then totally succumb and give yourself to somebody else.

Learn new things. Feel new things. Experience new things. By doing that, you are going to be able to achieve levels of intimacy that you’ve always craved and desired.

A lot of people in life are very programmed. Sexually, for instance, if you ask a man or woman what they like they will tell you … but what they are telling you is really what they have liked up to that point. Where they are with you at that moment is not just what’s happened in the past.

Being with you is something that’s totally new and different. So you need to take old information into consideration while also moving forward learning new things, because in life celebrating your love is really all about experiencing and sharing new things every day with someone.

You want to celebrate that love by not always expecting things to be the same, and by being open to whatever the other person brings to the table. This pertains to all areas of your relationship.

One of the greatest ways to do this with your lover is to try something new or do something different with them every week. So, for example, let’s say that there is something that is part of your sexual routine every night (maybe it’s the position, that you always give oral sex, or that they always perform oral sex on you).

In that situation, one day a week you instead could spend time trying other things. You could spend time just touching each other in different ways, teasing each other in different ways, learning to do things in different ways or exploring each other in different ways.

Outside of the sexual context, maybe you’ve taken on certain roles in the relationship that you could exchange. If your partner has been the person who always calls first, for instance, then try reaching out and being that other person by texting them first thing in the morning.

The bottom line is that you really need to do things that are going to celebrate your love every single day in new and exciting ways. It took so long to find this person and to realize what this person was going to be in your life. Why, then, would you do anything except celebrate that love every single day?

I first met Craig about eight months ago, at a free seminar I taught. We did a role-play exercise and during the exercise he came up, he was charming, it went well for about 48 seconds and then he crashed. And that was it. He didn’t really take it any further; he didn’t really have the confidence to do so.

Now, all of a sudden, he has changed. The difference in him from eight months ago is just unbelievable.

We’ve been talking about the power of the network, and what the network is all about. I tell people all of the time: some encounters will be good, some encounters won’t be so good, but it’s really all about expanding your social network.

I asked the guys with me now, “how many people did you meet today?” They answered, “oh, a bunch of new people, we had some good conversations.” Well, that’s a great day. And then I’ll ask Craig now: how many people did you meet today?

Craig: Probably four or five – I’m meeting people everywhere I go now. I love this street – I live right down the street from here, and I always bring my friends here. I get a free coffee here, I get a free beer at the bar over there, and I’ll go in there and get 30% off – especially if I keep bringing my friends in.

My friends want to hang out and go shopping or get a coffee or whatever, so we always come here. And when people see you over and over again, and you’re genuinely interested in connecting with them and making the other people around you have a good time by being social, your energy will be contagious.

Somebody behind the counter might be having a bad day. You can say, “hey, how’s it going? Are you having a good day?” “Oh, thanks for asking, it’s going well,” they might respond just because you thought to ask.

We did that flower exercise and I couldn’t give away the flower in Santa Monica – nothing seemed to be right. This girl with a nice smile came up behind me and she was wearing a cute blue shirt – I turned around and said, “you know what? I’ve been waiting all day to give this flower to somebody, and I didn’t think I’d be able to give it away. I wanted to give it to somebody with style and to somebody with a nice smile, and it’s yours.”

And she was like, “oh, great, thanks! What are you guys doing today?” I told her we were just hanging out. Her boyfriend was like, “why did he give you that flower?” But he was cool with it. It’s just about being social and being fun.

David: Let’s talk about this some more. We were just discussing how to keep building up your social exercises and Mark asked a question that was really important: do you journal this?

This is something that I’ve told everybody over and over again – journal this! Journal your progress. Everyday you’re going to have small victories, and it will help to write them down.

Craig, what would you recommend in terms of writing this stuff down? You just went through this whole transformation, so what do you think some of the best tips would be for the guys in terms of journaling?

Craig: I would say it is important to keep a record of what your goals are. If your goal is to expand your social circle, you can write, I’m going to try to talk to three people today, and then you could journal about how that was. Were you nervous? What did you talk about? This will also help you with making and remembering observations – what people do, who people are.

You could journal about your feelings too. This will give you an accurate record of your own emotional progress through this journey. Journal about what you learn too. This is really important. This will make it a macrocosm book of what you are doing. It makes your brain focus on your process as well.

So I would journal about: who you met, what they were about (because as David says, you have to be able to connect with people on the level of who they are and what is going on in their life), your feelings (so that you can accurately track your progress and get a feel for this process, this will also give you an overall picture of your journey.)

If you do this, in six months you will look back at some journal entry where you wrote, oh my god, I saw these really cool guys and I wanted to approach them because they were talking about music and I’m a music producer, and so I walked up there and it was all weird and awkward.

Three months later, you’ll write, I saw this really pretty girl in a sundress and I just walked right up to her and we’re going out on Friday.

Through the journal, you’ll be able to see the progression of your progress.

David: Also, remember to never judge yourself. Don’t be such a hard critic on yourself. Spend the time to look for the win every single day. Don’t look for the negative, look for the positive. In everything you do, there’s a positive.

For example, today we were talking, and I said, “well, maybe you didn’t have a breakthrough in this way, but what situations do you feel comfortable in?” and you told me. So you found your wins.

In terms of dating, we’ve been so negative for so long, so we aren’t used to looking for those little wins. But those little victories are unbelievable.

It’s like a baseball season, guys: it’s fucking long as hell. If you look at the Mets this year, Meyer did 500, Meyer did mediocrity, and Willie Randolph is managing them into the ground. And at the end of the day – it’s now the end of July and they are in first place.

You have to think about it like this. You’re playing every single game – and not like it’s the last game, but like it’s part of a season. The difference between life and sports is that the season just continues on.

So you’re playing first for the present: how many people did you say hello to today? How many great encounters did you have today? How many people did you meet? What do you remember from your conversations?

Not only are you playing for the present, but you’re playing for the future as well. So the present was: today I met six great new people, I had a wonderful time, I didn’t get a phone number but who gives a shit.

Two weeks from now, that girl that you said hello to on the street? You run into her at Whole Foods and say, “oh my god, I saw you a few weeks ago on Abakini, how are you doing?” She’ll say, “I’m great, god, I’m so sorry I didn’t talk to you that day, that was rude!”

This is what happens! You’re building your social network for the present and for the future. Stop grading yourself just on the present. If you go up to somebody on the street, and it didn’t work out well, don’t think to yourself, oh shit, this stuff doesn’t work.

It works. If you follow every thing that we’ve been doing, teaching, and talking about – it has worked for everybody that has followed it. Including myself, including Craig, including Khiem.

Craig: That brings up a really important point. If you’re judging yourself negatively – without getting into the depths of the psychology of it – but you’re actually reinforcing that negative behavior. Every time you come down on yourself and think, I saw this pretty girl, I was too afraid to approach her – god, I’m so stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! – you’re just putting that right back into your brain and programming yourself to do the same thing the next time. Instead, you could just be a little bit easier on yourself, thinking, you know what? I’ll get her next time.

David: That’s it. And that “stupid, stupid, stupid” thing is just not true. You’re not stupid! We have just hung out, and we’ve had a great weekend. We’ve all hung out with each other, and not one of us has looked at another person and said, “stupid, stupid, stupid!”

You do it to yourselves because you’re a hard critic. Here’s the point: stop validating yourself through women! I think that every one of you guys is unique, fun and exciting. I was telling Allan earlier – and this is something really important to remember – the women that are attracted to me may not be attracted to you or you or you.

But if I’m hanging out with Craig and I approach a woman who I think is really cool, and I notice that she’s vibing him and not vibing me, cool! That’s alright. It’s about abundance. She likes my friend more than she likes me. That’s fine! That’s her choice.

You can’t twist attraction around, and you can’t use magic tricks – and you have to respect that. A woman that I’m attracted to might not be attractive to you at all. She may be too loud and boisterous. And a woman you’re attracted to might be too mellow for me.

We all have an abundance of women that we could be attracting at every single moment. Your friends don’t steal women from you – the women were attracted to your friends in the first place!

Todays video is all about how to build momentum on a Saturday or Sunday. Do you desire to meet great people this weekend?

If so then watch this video right now and then get out from behind the computer and do it!