There is a reason why I encourage people to take themselves out on a date on a Saturday afternoon. In order to become a good date, you have to first take yourself out on a date.

Let’s say it’s Saturday and I have to go pick out a pair of jeans. While I’m out, I’m going to talk to everyone I see based on observations I’ve made. I’m going to share things with them. You can’t expect a woman to even be remotely interested in you unless you share something about yourself with her.

Look back and think about all of your stories. Let’s say a woman is on her iPhone. In your mind, you think to yourself, “iPhone? Shit. I heard it’s a pain in the ass to text on those things…”

So you walk over to her, and you ask her very simply, “How’s your day going?” A very simple opener. Right after that, you can look at her and say, “Man, I’ve been looking to get an iPhone for a while, but I heard it’s a bitch to text on. Is that true?” Say it with a smile. Be alive and alert.

Then you’ll get into a conversation where she’s telling you that she really likes her iPhone, and you listen carefully to what she is saying and respond to what she is saying, directing the conversation.

Being excited about what she is talking about will create an emotion in her. Don’t just stand there and think to yourself, “I have to ask her out!”

Asking her out is nothing. Asking her out is something that is going to happen no matter what. If you go in and show her your enthusiasm, she’s going to want to go out with you, and she’s going to remember you. She’s going to have a nickname for you – you’ll be iPhone guy or whatever it might be.

You have to have this enthusiasm for everyone that you talk to on your Saturday date. And it will be a long day, trust me. If you think about it, going out at 11 a.m. on a Saturday and coming home at 7 p.m. – that’s a lot of fucking hours. It’s a long day. And you’ll still want to go out that night and do it again, right? It’s like a full-time job.

But when you go and you talk with enthusiasm to anyone, your job will get so much easier.

Let’s say I’m talking to Rey while he’s piling a whole bunch of disgusting food into a box at Whole Foods (which you’ll get to see in person if you ever attend one of my bootcamps!) I can look at him with a smile and say, “Oh man, that’s nasty!” All of a sudden, Rey will start cracking up, and then a woman will look at you and see two people smiling and having a good time. She’ll start reading the energy.

If you’re the person leading the conversation, she’ll start looking at you as the leader and she’ll start being more attracted to you. You have been leading the conversation – you opened the other person, you talked, you listened and you transitioned the conversation into something deeper.

She will start to get turned on by you, and she’ll find some reason to drift over to you. It’s like magic. This is what she’s looking for – most people are walking around in this incredible coma. If you look at most people, they spend their entire lives in a coma. They just live in a cloud.

But this blog is not about the weather. Though I have to say that when I was a kid I really did want to grow up to be the weatherman. I thought it would be awesome to just stand there, have a cute little woman take the sun cutout and turn it in circles for me. I’d have my own Vanna White of the weather world! But that’s just a fantasy of mine, and it’s none of your business…

So let’s keep going. There is something that Howard Stern once said that I think you all need to listen to and deeply consider. Howard Stern was being interviewed somewhere, and the interviewer asked him, “Howard, how do you feel about all of these people hating you?”

Here is what Howard Stern basically said: “you know what? I don’t care if people hate me. I don’t really care if people love me. I just want to be able to create an emotion in them.”

Think about that quote for a second.

If every single person in your life describes you as being “such a nice guy,” here is what they are really saying: you are boring! You just fit in. You don’t stand out, and you certainly don’t create an emotion in them.

You want people to either love you or hate you.

Hate might seem like a very strong word; let’s go deeper into it. It is better to have someone disagree with you, and for you to create an emotion in him or her, than for you to just go through life as the invisible man.

Many people go through life as either the invisible man or invisible woman. Being invisible means that people just don’t really remember you all that much. Some of you dress very conservatively, and some of you dress so that you won’t stand out. It’s no wonder that nobody really remembers you!

When you walk in somewhere, you talk to people in a mellow voice, and you’re so afraid to challenge anyone that no one remembers you as soon as you walk out the door.

How many times have you walked into the same clothing store or bagel place and the guy behind the counter acts like he’s never seen you before? Like this is the very first time you’ve ever ordered coffee from him?

Why is this? Because you haven’t created an emotion in him. If you don’t create an emotion for someone – whether it is positive or negative – no one will ever remember you, and they certainly won’t want to date you. You will continue to go through life as the invisible man. Is that what you want?

Instead of monitoring your thoughts and getting caught inside your head all of the time, start challenging people! Stop playing it so safe. Playing it safe will never get you what you want.

The problem with playing it safe is that you will always have people look at you and say, “wow, he’s really nice, but I don’t know anything about him!”

Client: How do you start challenging people? What can you do to challenge people?

David: There are a few different things you can do to start challenging people and creating that emotion.

Let’s say that you’re in Starbucks, and there is a woman standing next to you in line. You take the time to mellow out and calm yourself, and then when you look at her, you notice that she has an indecisive look on her face. Remember, we can all read emotions; we just may not give ourselves permission to do so.

So you can look at her and say, “you look like you’re indecisive. You don’t know what you want to order?” She’ll respond, “god, I have no idea.”

What most guys will do at this point is just back down. They might say something stupid like, “oh, you should get a latte,” and offer suggestions, but they don’t take it further.

What you can do is say to her, “alright, tell me. What do you like, and what don’t you like, Ms. Indecisive?”

Challenge her. Have fun with it. That is what you really want to say to her, because you’re curious about her. You want to know why she’s indecisive right now, and you want to know what she’s all about.

By doing this, you’ll be able to challenge her in a different way. You will be able to take the conversation from small talk to real talk much easier.

A lot of guys will get freaked out and go back to that initial moment, asking her again, “well what kind of coffee do you like?” They have opened her successfully, but then they don’t know how to take the conversation further.

By challenging her, you’re going to take the conversation further as you take her away from the original topic. It won’t just be small, boring talk.

Start creating emotions in people and you will start being memorable!