And I was thinking to myself, how should I address this person? Is he a “Hey” guy or a “Hi” guy?

All my e-mails always start with something like, “Hey Joe,” “Hey Amy,” “Hey Tom.”

But some people are not “Hey” people. Some people are a little more formal, and should be addressed with “Hi Tom,” “Hi Mary,” “Hi Joe”—that type of thing.
So I was thinking that when you send an e-mail, you really need to know the type of person you’re writing to, because a “Hey” may turn off a Hi person, and a “Hi” may turn off a Hey person.

A lot of people also have these signatures at the end of your e-mail. Some people have a “Thanks”, some of you are “Talk Soon,” and some of you write “Bye for now.” Some people write, “Regards.”

But the thing is, we wouldn’t actually refer to each person we write to with a “Talk Soon,” a “Regards,” or a “Hey There.” So many of us are not personal at all in our e-mails. We’ve got a “Hey” for everybody, a “Talk Soon” to everybody, or a “Thanks” to everybody.

Why don’t we kind of just kind of sign off and sign on the way we would in person? You don’t walk up to every single person and go, “Hey,” “Hi,” and end every conversation with a “Talk Soon,” “Regards,” “Thanks.”

We’ve gotten really lazy, and we basically try to take every shortcut with technology. I guess sometimes shortcuts aren’t good. Maybe it’s time to personalize things just a little bit more.

If you’re somebody who sits by your computer answering every email as soon as it comes in and you think you’re being proficient by doing so, you’re wrong. You’re actually not being proficient, because what is really happening is that you are allowing yourself to be at the beck and call of all the noise coming into your inbox.

Every single time you hear a beep signaling a new message has arrived in your inbox, do you know what that is? It’s an intrusion.

It’s basically somebody saying, “Answer me right now!” It’s almost like a two year-old throwing a temper tantrum in a supermarket. If you give into that temper tantrum, you made the biggest mistake in the entire world.

You don’t give the little tyrant a Popsicle, when it’s not time for a Popsicle. You reward the Popsicle when it is time for the Popsicle. Answering that email is basically rewarding somebody for intruding on your life.

If you’re in the middle of doing something and you get an email, it’s called noise. So when you’re going out and meeting people, your friends being with you out there are also noise.

All of a sudden you go and see a woman you’re attracted to and you want to talk to her. If you engage in conversation with your friend about it, your friend is going to be noise. “Ah, man, you can’t approach her right now. It doesn’t look like she wants to talk.” Noise. Negativity and noise.

You’re most efficient when you are by yourself. So when you decide to go out and practice meeting people to work on your social life, it should be like going on a date with yourself.

The most important thing to do is to be by yourself, go out there, and not have anybody judge you. Friends are noise, just like that annoying text or email that comes in.

Why do we have to answer our texts and our emails right away? We don’t.

We also don’t need to drag somebody along when we’re going out trying to meet somebody. So when you guys go out and meet people, do it alone.

He’s a little version of me . . . literally. I’m 6’2″ and he’s 5’7″. He’s almost like my adopted son. He’s an amazing, loving and honest person, but like any child he can also drive me crazy.

One way that Jacob drives me crazy is that he doesn’t understand what following up is. Follow-up is the key to life.

Now Jacob knows how to follow up with women, but sometimes when I give him work tasks he will follow up on his own schedule. He’s fine with me writing this blog, by the way, because he’s always contributing – in the blog, being there for all you guys, and he is always about self-growth. He will always admit both his strong points and his weak points.

Follow-up is the key to anybody being very successful in life. This is not just about dating either.

Granted, if you get a phone number from a woman you need to follow up with her. If you’re the least bit interested, you should follow up right away. I always say that you should give someone a call within 24 hours.

Call them (or call them back) and rephrase something you talked about with them that interested you. That way the conversation feels like a never-ending conversation. Things will flow really easily.

A lot of guys will get a phone number and they’ll wait two weeks to call that woman. Then when they do call, the woman will wonder why it took him so long to call. Even if you say that you were traveling or give some other reason, the woman will no longer be interested.

By not calling for two weeks, you just look like another ass. You look like a guy who is playing games and didn’t make her a priority.

Every woman wants to feel like a priority. I don’t care if it’s the first time you go out with her or the hundredth time you go out with her, every woman wants to feel special.

Follow-up is the key in dating and in every other part of life. If you are in sales and you get a sales lead on which you don’t follow up right away, you are never going to make that sale.

Someone calls you at your office and it takes you four days to follow up with them. In this day and age, there are so many different ways to communicate – you have emails, texts, and cell phones. So you don’t even have to be home or at your office to send someone a message.

If you can’t call someone right away, how hard is it to just send somebody a quick email saying “I’m busy for the next day or two, but I really look forward to speaking with you after that. Have a great few days!”

It’s all about following up. All successful people understand that follow-up is one of the things that made them successful.

You want to be successful at dating?  You better learn how to follow up.  If you want to be successful in business, you better really learn how to follow up.

So many people put things off. Those are the people who wake up every New Year’s Day wondering why they aren’t making enough money or aren’t successful in their dating life. They are the ones who write down the same New Year’s resolutions year after year.

If you really want to succeed with life — with women, in business, or in anything else — you need to learn to follow up. If you’re poor at following up, put a “to do” list together every single day. As you do each thing on the list, cross it out.

At the end of the day, look at your “to do” list and transfer all the items that aren’t scratched out on a new piece of paper as your next day’s “to do” list. Every time that you think of something you need to do, write it down right away so you don’t forget.

Say you’re busy doing three or four things and all of a sudden you remember that you need to call Joe. Since you are in the middle of another task, just write down “Call Joe” on your list and that way you will remember to do it after you’re finished.

Another reason to make this list for yourself each day, is that writing everything down gives you a way to prioritize. You can put older tasks on the top and newer ones on the bottom, or maybe you put the most important things on the top of the list. The important thing is that you re-look at your “to do” list every single day.

When I was dating a lot, I would write down every woman that I met. I would write down what they were about, who they were and when I called them (or was going to call them).

I would write all that down automatically — “Met Jane at Whole Foods. Call her Tuesday.” Then I would write things I learned about them like, “Called Jane and met her yesterday. She was cool, liked ….”

I would do this because I know in life we get really busy, and then all of a sudden you’ve forgotten to call a great woman because time got away from you. If you do call her after three or four days have gone by, she’s going to look at it as you being rude.

So get a yellow pad, start writing things down and get that “to do” list together! Review your “to do” list several times a day, and make sure you remain focused and on track.

All of you can thank Coach Jacob for this great blog. I wrote it, but he made me feel it.

Click here to listen to me talk all about my personal tricks to how to become successful in every part of your life — and how to create a roadmap on how to get there.

Anyway, there was something interesting I was thinking about the other day. I was thinking about how all of us have three hands. We have two hands with which we are born, and a third hand called a cell phone that we purchase from T-Mobile, Sprint, AT&T or Verizon.

Sometimes that third hand really ruins conversations and connection with other people. It also causes that really annoying feeling you get when you’re hanging out with someone and they are constantly responding to their phone.

In life, we don’t always need to get back to people right away. Go back ten or fifteen years when we had cell phones with unlimited minutes and which didn’t have email capabilities. Back then, you weren’t able to return an email or check your voicemail every minute of the day.

Do you remember the days when we weren’t texting people in restaurants, and we actually paid attention to the person across the table from us? Remember when we didn’t feel the need to immediately get back to the person on the other end of a text?

Do you remember the days when we used to have an office, and we used to check and return messages just while we were there? We didn’t feel the need to get back to someone at 10:00 pm on a Friday.

We need to disconnect from our cell phones just a little bit, because it’s starting to kill intimacy between between people. It’s starting to kill moments.

I personally find it really offensive when I am out with someone, and they look at and respond to messages on their cell phone. It makes me think, “What about me? I’m here. My time is definitely worth something. Why can’t you give me the time that I need right now? Why do I need to watch you get back to somebody?”

We’ve become a society that has to answer people right away for no reason at all. Pay attention to the person in front of you. The other person will just have to wait like the good old days for an answer.

It’s called approach anxiety. It’s a made up disease based on fear and nothing else.

All of you need to be approaching each other and hooking up. The world is a much better place when we are all enjoying each other, having conversations and, of course, having sex!

Are you ready to end your approach anxiety once and for all? Are you ready to learn how to be able to communicate with anyone you see, so you will no longer be dateless and lonely?

I have just completed a product called “Become A Master Communicator” that I will be releasing publicly in a few months that shows exactly how to make all this happen. Ladies, this product will help you as well.

Even though the product won’t be available to the public for a few months, I am giving the people on my list a special *sneak peek* of this product NOW (along with a special offer as well).

If you want to get a sneak peek of this product and you’re not a member of my list, go to the top of this page and sign up in the box.

Also, because there is no podcast today on this “podcast Wednesday,” I am going to do something special for all of you next week. I am going to give you a double dose of podcasts! Yes, there will be two podcasts during next week. They are my Christmas gifts to you. Be sure to check in to catch those . . .

Now on to today’s topic that will inspire you to want to get rid of your approach anxiety and start really interacting with the opposite sex . . .

Do you know what I love about traveling? When you get into a traffic jam inside the airport.

Why are there traffic jams inside the airport? It’s because people don’t know how to drop people off. It’s really funny.

Why don’t people say their goodbyes before they get into the car to drive to the airport? So you drive twenty minutes to the airport. You have to wait until you get there to hug, kiss and say goodbye for ten times?

You could have said goodbye twenty minutes earlier and it wouldn’t have been any different. Actually, had you said goodbye at home, it could have been a much better goodbye.

You could have had a proper sendoff having wild and amazing sex. Now that is a great goodbye! It’s a lot better than standing at the airport staring at each other and hugging.

Instead of spending twenty minutes doing that, just get up twenty minutes earlier and bang your brains out before you leave. That way, you will get to the airport and drop the person off immediately, because you’re tired and you want to go home and shower.

Otherwise you are left with the traffic jam in the airport. It is caused by people who were rushing all day long to get to the airport who, once they arrive there, will decide that they need to spend five or ten minutes on the curb saying goodbye. They think, “Even though I’m really stressed out and I need to get to my gate on time, this goodbye is so important.”

So here’s a note to all the travelers who are being dropped off by their man (or their woman). Bang your brains out early that morning! Have a great orgasm (or two or three if you can climax quickly).

Do that and the goodbye will be so much better, because all day long you’ll be thinking about that wonderful feeling you had (instead of some quick two second kiss).

Come on, tell the truth. After a kiss like that, the minute you get in the car and start sipping your coffee, you will forget all about it. Amazing morning sex you will not so quickly forget.

So that’s my new goodbye for people heading to the airport. You bang your brains out like a maniac, and then you will be totally relaxed on the plane.

You will also be relaxed when you’re sitting in traffic in the airport with all the idiots who didn’t bang their brains out before they left. You won’t even care because you’re feeling good.

If you are dropping off your mother instead of a lover, you can still do a better goodbye before you leave for the airport. You say goodbye to her twenty minutes before you have to get in the car to leave. You hold her hand the entire time.

If you are dropping your boss off at the airport, you do not bang his (or her) brains out that morning. You just high-five him (or her) and say, “Have a great trip. Get out. You’re going out of town, so I’m going to play golf and goof off for the next five days!”

Everything that you guys email me about privately, I always wish you would post on the blog because I want you to realize that you are not alone. How true this is really hit me right after I got that private email from that male reader, because later that same day I got another “private” email from a female reader that was virtually IDENTICAL!

Both were wondering what they were doing wrong. Both were wondering why things were not working for them. Both were beating themselves up in their emails.

Do you realize that in order to attract the person that you want, you have to become that person? This is a concept you MUST understand in order for your love life to really start working.

I have recorded a podcast that’s absolutely going to blow you away! It’s all about self-love and the law of attraction.

Everyone who is serious about wanting to meet somebody needs to listen to this. Consider this your late February wake-up call!

Enjoy!

Click here to enjoy the podcast.

And if you are serious about changing your life you need to read all of this right now.

Gee, thanks for telling me, because I’m never going to remember it anyway!

People are always asking me how I remember everyone’s name. I always answer, “I don’t!” I rarely remember people’s names.

What I do remember is things about them. I remember personal things about them. Every single person that I meet I attach some type of story or nickname to.

For example, tonight I went to a party and ran into a guy that I’d met before. I don’t really remember his name, but I do remember him as “Radio Man” – because he’s in the radio business.

So I went and talked to him, and I said, “hey, Radio Man, how are you? What’s going on?” and I remembered what we talked about the last time. I remembered the business things we talked about and I remembered some of the ventures that he did, and I brought them up.

I remember details about everyone. You’re not bonding with somebody based on his or her name; you’re bonding with them because you remember something interesting about them.

Who cares if you don’t remember their name? I remember details. I remember things about people, so that the next time I see them I will be able to move the conversation forward. I’ll be able to talk with them further. I can ask them questions.

For instance, there is this woman that works at Whole Foods, and she has on Hello Kitty stuff all of the time because her daughter makes her wear it. So every time I see her, I say, “Hello Kitty, how are you? Your daughter made you wear that pin again today?” And then we can talk about her daughter and other things.

The key thing is to remember details about somebody so that the next time you talk to them you are able to take the conversation further.

Think about it – how do you feel when someone remembers you? You feel good if somebody remembers your name, but how do you feel if somebody remembers a detail about you? Or if somebody remembers something that happened to you? Or a story that you told them? How does that make you feel? It makes you feel so much better.

So don’t worry about the names. Just remember things about people. The more you can remember about people, the greater emotional connection you are going to have and the greater chance you’ll have of being memorable to them. You’ll be able to take it further.

Once again: I don’t care what your name is. I don’t remember your name. But I do remember that it was your 3-year-old daughter’s birthday last week – and that is all that matters.

Start remembering things about people and you will also learn how to listen better. If you start listening to what people say you’ll become a good conversationalist.

It’s a great trick – for me to become a great conversationalist I had to really listen to people. When I really listened to people, I started remembering things. When I started remembering things, I was able to take the conversation deeper and further.

So thank you to all of you anonymous readers! I don’t know any of your names. But if you email me, I’ll remember your story.

Are you ready for the twist? Here are 8 of the most irritating online behaviors committed by men:

1. Athletic & Fit?: It’s time that all men realized that they are not Peyton Manning or Marvin Harrison. They’re not an Olympic gold medal-winning swimmer. Your body type is exactly what it is. So you really need to look in the mirror and make a determination of how you really look, because when you say “athletic and fit” in your online profile and only put up dazzling head shots of yourself, a woman is expecting a swimmer’s body to accompany that dazzling face. When what shows up instead is a dazzling face with a middle-aged body, the expression on a woman’s face is usually one of discomfort. When you post an accurate full-body photograph of yourself, you’ve already been exposed. Then you just let women make the choice if they are interested or not. It’s that simple. Lying about your body type never produces good results.

2. Stop Being A Salesman: When you contact a woman online, do not send her a cut and paste email telling her all the reasons why she should want to have a relationship with you, why you’re a gift to mankind and why she is a fool if she doesn’t answer your email. She can read your profile if she chooses. Your profile is intended to intrigue her. It’s not a sales brochure of all the reasons she needs to be in a relationship with someone she hasn’t even met yet. When you send a woman a message online, say something intriguing that will make her want to go and read your profile. Women do not want to read a cut and past email telling her how amazing you think you are. Let her find that out for herself.

3. Respect Her Age Range: If you’re a 50 year old man looking at a 25 year old woman’s profile that says she is looking for a man between the ages of 25 and 35, then you should not contact this woman. Period. You need to respect a woman’s stated age range for the men she’s looking to meet (give or take no more than five years). Nothing turns a woman off more than having her Father’s friends chasing her online. If a woman says she wants to date someone who is no more than five years older or younger than she, then she does not want to date someone twice her age. Men get visually impaired when they see pictures of beautiful women. Some men somehow think they have the right to date hot younger women half their age. Now there are some men can do this . . . but online is not the right place to try and do that. In online dating, you don’t stand a chance of dating women if you are outside their stated age range. Even if you would be able to completely dazzle a woman in person, online you’ll just be viewed as an old guy chasing younger women. If you want to meet younger women, get out of the house and dazzle them with your charm and wit – you’ll stand a much better chance.

4. Read Her Profile!: I’ve lost count of the number of women who email me saying “David, what is up with all these men who don’t read our profiles? I get so many men who wink at me when my profile clearly says ‘NO WINKS!’” Nothing turns a woman off more than a man who does not read her profile. Women are all about an emotional connection. So when you contact them, pick out something interesting in their profile and respond to it. By cutting and pasting a form letter to women without having read their profile, you are simply wasting your time. Online dating works, but you have to put a little effort into it by doing things like reading a woman’s profile so she knows you made some effort.

5. Nix The “Possession Pictures”: Before some of you get angry about this one, understand that I’ve ripped women on this same picture issue for putting up certain kinds of pictures with their friends or pictures of them from a distance. Men tend to put up pictures of their possessions – everything from their car to their Super Bowl tickets. The fact is that women don’t care about your possessions when they’re looking at an online profile. Now, granted, some women are looking for men to take care of them, but women still want to be able to see who you are when they look at your online profile. So put pictures up of you in different situations. Just be sure any picture you post is clear, up close, and current! If you have no hair, don’t put pictures up of yourself with a full head of hair. It’s just not going to work. Once again, you are who you are. There’s no need to go into salesman mode to get to meet women. There are plenty of women to meet out there – so represent yourself accurately and you’ll find them.

6. No Email Stalking: You contacted her once, and she didn’t respond. Why? Well perhaps she didn’t like what you wrote to her. Perhaps she’s busy. Perhaps there’s no reason at all. It doesn’t matter. If a woman doesn’t respond to your first email to her, email her again a week or ten days later just in case there was some snafu the first time (and so you won’t have to wonder if there was some snafu the first time). Doing this is perfectly fine. To send a woman a barrage of increasingly nasty emails for four or five days asking why she isn’t responding to your emails (or something similarly nasty), however, is behavior guaranteed to get a woman to NEVER want to communicate with you or see you. It’s frankly tantamount to email stalking. Two emails with no response equals you needing to move on to someone else.

7. Lose The One-Liner: I can’t tell you how many women have forwarded me emails they’ve received from men online whose first contact with them is something akin to a “hello” subject line with a one-line email body containing his phone number and an invitation to call him. It’s usually something like “Sally, give me a call sometime – my number is 301-555-5555.” How do men expect women to respond to this – by calling them? If a total stranger on the Internet sent you their phone number and asked you to call them sometime, you wouldn’t call them either. Women like to be intrigued and pursued a little bit. By sending this one-liner email, you did nothing to intrigue them. Get creative in your first email to women you meet online, and they’ll be offering their phone numbers to you.

8. Don’t Be An IM Stalker: Some online dating sites allow you to instant message with people you meet. This can be great! If you’ve emailed a woman several times and she’s never responded, however, do not start instant messaging that woman every time she gets online. You’re going to freak her out! Allow someone to answer you (or not answer you), but don’t become so obsessed over one person. Take a look at Yahoo! Personals. There’s TONS of people to date on there. TONS! So don’t start stalking one person with instant messages, and making them wish they would have never tried online dating in the first place. Respect when someone is not attracted to you or interested in you.

Online dating is fun. It also may be challenging at times. The best thing to do is to think of it as a party on the Internet, and don’t engage in behaviors online that you would never engage in at a real-life party.

If you want more online dating tips and/or a way to make your profile and contacts better, send me an email. I’ve told you here what to avoid doing . . . but there’s plenty you can do to make yourself a more successful online dater.

First, you have to look at your mutual friends. Obviously, you couldn’t be looking at her profile if you don’t have a mutual friend. You’re not cruising Facebook – you’re just looking through other people’s friends.

Joe Smith sends you a friend request, and you don’t know him, so you look at his friends. You see Mary Thompson is one of his friends, and you add her as a friend.

And of course Mary Thompson confirms you as a friend – because the internet is a fucking popularity contest and everyone wants a lot of friends! Facebook and MySpace are like having 5,000 friends that you never talk to! They could give a fuck about me, but they are still all of my buddies.

But when I show up as their happy friend, it makes them feel popular. Being on the internet is like regressing back to junior high school. Don’t you feel bad on Facebook when you see someone with like two friends? You think to yourself, oh, what a loser, he’s got two friends! It’s ridiculous; it’s such a popularity contest.

So anyway, you go to this woman’s profile and add her as a friend. She will always add you, and then you send her an email.

Subject line: Man, Joe knew we would be…

I always like the dot-dot-dot because when it comes down to marketing yourself, you have to think like a business. Most people in the subject line of an email write “hello.” What the fuck, hello? Delete.

But you know when you get good junk email, and you swear that you don’t want to open it, and when you do open it, you’re like, oh shit, I got caught again! How did you get caught? They had a good subject line, right? So your subject line has to be something good that will make her want to open your email.

And then the body of the email: …that we would be great friends, so I added you. So now that you’re my really good friend, can you help me out with one thing? Who the hell is Joe Smith? He just appeared one day as my friend, and I’m hoping you can hope me unlock the mystery of Joe Smith. ☺

You do the smiley face so that she knows that you are funny and clever.

She’s going to open it, giggle and laugh, and she’s going to answer you back. You just became her buddy. Then your messages will go back and forth just like any other email exchange.

You have to get clever. Most guys are so bad at emailing.

I just don’t like to put my personal life out there. I’ve never been a kiss-and-tell kind of guy.

But I want to talk today about not caring. So many of you care too much and I’m getting WAY too many emails about how much you care about this one person who blew you off.
I’ve written about this several times, but for some reason or another, I just feel the urge to write about it again. I find that many of you put all of your eggs in one basket and you just care TOO MUCH.

About 2 months ago I went out with a new woman I had met. I’d say that the first hour of the date was mediocre at best. It just wasn’t really that much fun. But the second hour of the date was much more interesting and I actually became quite intrigued by her as the second hour progressed.

So at the end of the date, I did my usual “walk away” – it’s rare that I’ll kiss someone I still don’t really know. I like to build the desire up a bit – those of you that have heard my Mastery Series and have read the blogs know that walking away is something that I do to create more desire and passion – not only in her, but in myself as well.

I sent her a great email the next day and told her what a pleasant surprise the date turned out to be. Email was how we had been corresponding back and forth. I told her that I had had no expectations, but I had ended up really enjoying the evening. And then I wrote something else very cute: “hope you have a great weekend, enjoy the ice cream that you were talking about,” because she was really obsessed with this ice cream she was going to have.

She never responded.

I was sitting in my office with my assistant and some other people, and they asked me, “wow, man, aren’t you bummed?” I responded, “no, not at all.” I don’t care. Why should I care?

I went out, spent two hours with someone, we had a nice night and got to know each other a little bit, and I guess that the chemistry just wasn’t there for her. That’s fine! It didn’t ruin my day or bum me out.

I didn’t email all of my friends obsessing about it, asking what I did wrong or lamenting about why she didn’t email me back. I didn’t overanalyze every second of the date, thinking that I shouldn’t have said this, or that I should have said that. I just let it go.

This is what I think so many of you out there have never learned. Let it go! Why are you obsessing about someone who doesn’t want to obsess about you? Would you ever go out with someone that obsessed about you? It’s not healthy!

You need to learn to let things go and not care. It’s really not that important. If you go out with somebody and you just don’t connect – it’s fine! Even if you think you connect and nothing happens – it’s fine! If the other person doesn’t feel the same way that you do – it’s okay!

You can always send another email or call them again in a few days in one last-ditch effort. Maybe they just needed to think about it. Who knows?

But you should never obsess about it. Every time you obsess about something, every time you over think something, every time you overanalyze something – every time you drive your friends crazy about something – there are more opportunities that you’ve missed to stay present, meet and connect with other people.

So stop caring so much, and start moving forward! The minute you begin to move forward, your life will become much easier to manage than you’ve ever imagined!

Todays video is all about how to have fun while meeting the opposite sex.

Stop being so uptight loosen up and enjoy!!!