Before he went out I said to him, “Make sure you’re done at midnight. We’ve got a long day ahead, and there’s no reason to chase the night.”

So Shogo says, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, I know, I know,” and heads out for the evening.

The next day, I suddenly get a text at 10:00 am on Sunday morning, right before the start to our day. It’s Shogo. He writes, “Hey, I’m running over to your hotel man! I’ve got to shower!”

And just in that text alone there was frantic, exhausted energy. You could almost read it, you know? There were a few sloppy spelling mistakes. The word “running” I think was spelled with one n instead of two. So I immediately knew that someone was out until 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning.

Shogo rushes up to the hotel and goes, “Don’t say it–you’re right man. I know, I shouldn’t have been out until 5:00 in the morning.” Then he jumps in the shower and brushes his teeth in a mad frenzy to get ready on time.

I said, “Well, what’d you do so late?”

“Oh, I met up with my New York friends and they ended up dragging me from one place to the next…”

“Did anything happen?” I ask. He goes, “No. Nothing ever does.”

Here’s the deal: nothing ever happens after midnight. I personally believe nothing worthwhile ever happens after 10:00 at night. The longer you chase the night—and we’ll call it CTN—the longer you run around doing nothing, the more exhausted you are the next day, the more pissed off you are the next day because you don’t have any energy for the next day. And if you’re drinking, the longer it takes to recover the next day and the more money you’ve just wasted.

What happens here is that you really don’t accomplish anything at all. If you haven’t met a cool, great woman by 10:00 pm, you probably won’t meet her. If you continue to drink and drink the night away, your head’s just going to be more messed up the next day. You think you’re getting liquid courage for when the right woman comes along but in reality, you’re really not meeting anybody good.

And if your friends are dragging you from place to place hoping that THIS is going to be the next great place, then you need to reevaluate your past experiences. Look back at all the times you chased the night. Look back at all the nights you’ve ever spent trying to make things happen with your love life and think to yourself, “Have I really ever met a woman who was interesting or could I have met a great women somewhere else? Did I just empty my wallet and allow a bar to take all of my money?”

Stop chasing the night. When you think about it, nothing fun or productive ever happens after midnight. How many times have you run around all night, and when you finally lay down in bed, it’s 4:00 in the morning, you stare at the clock thinking about all the opportunities you missed, all 8, 9, 10 potential opportunities, and you start thinking, “Man, next week I’m going to do it differently.”

It’s that mad cycle of life. The only reason why you’re not doing it differently this time is because you’re not actually doing anything different with your life.

It’s a fun, exciting world out there. It’s time to explore other options, guys.

I have a confession to make: I went out last night. And I got really, really drunk. So drunk in fact that I decided to leave my girlfriend stranded at the place we were at and took a cab home by myself. And I was keeping all her money and her ID in my pocket. Don’t ask me why. Not the smartest decision I’ve made in my life. Like I said……I was drunk.

So here’s to making not-so-smart decisions while wasted. Let’s hear from you guys. Ever made any stupid drunk decisions? I certainly have my fair share.

I think it’s ok to go out once in a while and just get really drunk if that’s what you want. I honestly think that it’s fine, as long as you understand what you’re doing, you can control yourself, and you keep your lifestyle balanced. For me, I do it like once every month. About once a month, duty calls and I get the urge to just go out and get shitfaced with my friends. I like to call it the male version of getting my period. Other than that I’m not a huge drinker other than a beer or a couple glasses of wine with dinner. Wait a second I sound like functioning alcoholic.

But one of the biggest mistakes that guys who are dating can make is when they decide to go out at night and mingle with friends, to go out and meet new women, is that they end up getting really drunk. And they do it every time. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with having a few drinks here and there. But if you’re out there trying to meet new women to date, and you’re choosing bars as the place to do it, don’t get hammered every time you go out. It sounds so obvious, but when you’re in a bar all night it’s actually really easy to get carried away and have one pint or seven too many.

Why Drinking Prevents You From Hooking Up

Guys, here’s a tip: NEVER use alcohol as a way to get up the courage to go approach and talk to a woman at a bar. Never. There’s a fine line between “social lubricant” and “liquid courage”.

You see a cute girl at the bar you’d like to talk to. You don’t really know what to say. But you’ve been reading this blog and learning from David so you already know that there is no best thing to say. You’re going to just go up and say hi. But you need another drink first. So you go hang with your buddies and have another round. Five rounds and two hours later: it’s last call, you forgot about the cute girl and you’re standing there with your buddies like a sloppy mess, or you finally did go talk to the cute girl, but you were tipsy and she wasn’t, and the conversation didn’t go so well because you couldn’t really communicate.

Don’t make it a habit to guzzle down some liquid courage before you can start a conversation. Use real courage. When you get that urge, it’s time to “just say no.” Use real courage, and once you can do it sober, meeting new women in bars very casually will start getting so easy and fun for you.

Alcohol will never help you grow balls. Getting drunk once in a while can be fun, but understand it for what it is. It’s not going to help you meet women. And if you have in the past, it’s because you got lucky. That’s why they call it “getting lucky.” Two drunk people basically bumped into each other on accident, looked at each other, and said, “Let’s get it on!”

So if you’re a habitual drinker that’s my challenge to you this weekend: if you’re going out tonight, switch it up a little. Drink soda for the entire night and see how many women you can talk to. Make it fun. Use it as a conversation opener. Go up to random people, say, “Hey, I’m trying out a new social experiment. I usually drink when I go out to bars, but my conversations are always a little hazy. So tonight I’m drinking apple juice like a little kid and I’m seeing if my conversations are any different. And I’m going to entertain myself by finding the most drunk people in here and watching them interact.” Then lean back and let the conversation unfold.

I guarantee you one thing: you won’t be the last drunk guy looking around with his dick in hand as the lights come up for last call.

So I guess, really, it’s not a bad back but rather a bad ass. So what I’ve really got is an “ass on” (yes, that’s a new term). My ass is so tight that I have trouble getting out of bed.

I’ve gone to every healer imaginable, yet my gluteus maximus doesn’t want to release. Has anyone had this problem?

There are muscles in my butt that are so tight that it makes me feel like C-3PO. What could it be? Could it be from my bed?

I’ve helped you guys for years, so if you care about my tushee then please help me! Help me help you help me . . . please.

Now, on to today’s topic which has nothing to do with being an ass it actually has to do with chasing an ass.

Are you dating a party girl?

Are you dating the girl that, immediately after a night out drinking with her friends, posts 40 pictures of the night on her Facebook? Do the pictures include her drinking, her almost making out with a friend, her wearing some hot and skimpy outfit?

Is this the type of woman you’re dating? Does she always seem to be at the hottest parties in the hottest cities? Does she spend Spring Break in Miami and the 4th of July in the Hamptons?

She is always at these parties. In every photo you see of her, she’s wearing some hot little cocktail dress, smiling sexily at the camera…

Here’s the problem: your party girl is in her thirties.

There’s a time in life where partying is cool. There’s a time when it’s good to be seen at the right places.

But there comes a point in time where it’s time to stop the partying lifestyle and start acting like an adult.

There was a funny skit I watched on Saturday Night Live a couple of weeks ago called “The Cougars.” In that skit, the cougars were always out trying to party at the hottest places.

You just don’t look good when you’re the oldest one standing around at this hot film festival party. You’re 39 or 40, and you’re partying it up with a bunch of people in their twenties.

Look at yourself for a second. What doesn’t fit in that picture?

I’ve dated the party girl. And I have to tell you; it gets old pretty quickly.

Those party girls are always wondering why they can’t find a good guy. It’s because no guy wants to marry the party girl. It’s just like how women will not marry the player. Women won’t settle down with the player because they don’t trust him. It’s the same exact thing: no man wants to marry the party girl.

So if you are a party girl (or you know one) and you wonder why you’re not getting anywhere in your dating life, it’s because no man could picture you as the mother of his children.

Can you imagine: as the baby is sucking down his bottle, his party girl mother is sucking down Absolut shots.

If you’re over the age of 30, you’re single, and still partying – you’re not attracting anyone. In fact, you’re turning them off.

The same thing goes for guys who are players: you’re not turning women on; you’re actually pushing them away. Realize that the reason you’re not meeting anyone is the result of your own actions!

If you are ready to really take a deep look at yourself and to create the kind of lifestyle and person you want to be today from the ground up, then be sure to check out my Men’s Mastery Series and my Women’s Mastery Series.

I am talking about one of those people whose personalities transform whenever they have a couple of glasses of wine or other type of alcoholic beverage. They talk differently. They act differently. They may start talking in gibberish. You almost wonder if you’re hanging out with some kind of alien or something.

Then you think that perhaps they were just in the mood to “cut loose and go with the flow,” since they seem to turn into an entirely different person than the one you know. Each day you wonder which personality will show up to greet you.

Each day you may have a totally different person next to you than you did on the day before that. You’re afraid to take them to a cocktail party because you’re not quite sure who the hell is going to show up.

They could have one alcoholic beverage, and all of a sudden you’ll say that certain twinkle in their eyes and know that the psycho personality is about to show itself. They have their second alcoholic beverage, and the next thing you know you see your boss standing next them. You start thinking “Oh God, no!”

Then, to your surprise, your boss looks at you and says “Your girlfriend is really great. You never told me you like to be spanked in the bedroom.” From then on you are known in the office as “spank boy” all because she decided to blurt out some of your private business that was meant to be kept just between you and her.

Then when you go to have a conversation with her about that the next day, she says she doesn’t remember what she said or why she said it because she was too much under the influence of what she was drinking. The conversation is all but impossible because she has transformed back to her “regular self.”

You could also bring them with you to a function with your family. You see them have a few drinks, and the next thing you know they turn into another psychotic transformer. If you thought what happened with your boss was a nightmare, just imagine what they are saying to your mother.

I actually once dated a transformer. Whenever she was under the influence of anything, she would start speaking in some kind of mumbo jumbo gibberish language I couldn’t understand. Then one day she started saying things that scared the living hell out of me. It was at that moment I realized I was dating a transformer. We broke up shortly after that.

Have you ever dated a transformer?

Howie: Here is another thing I realized: after I almost lost my life I discovered that while I was not really afraid of death, I was terrified of that last minute just before I died. In that moment, I had to run through my head all of the things I had desired in my life. Had I even attempted to achieve some of my desires?

What terrified me was that if I were to ask myself that question right then, I couldn’t live with the answer. I had put off everything that I had wanted to do, and it was such bullshit!

David: I don’t think people are afraid of death, I think that they are afraid of living. So many of us are in a coma all of the time – a self-induced coma.

Taking risks proves that you’re alive. Pushing your boundaries proves your vitality. If you haven’t pushed your personal boundaries today, then you haven’t lived.

As we’re sitting here chewing our food, I’ll ask you this: how did you live today? How did you push your boundaries? How did you force yourself to do something new? What did you do to challenge yourself today?

It’s essential to always challenge yourself no matter what you do. You’re on the path of just challenging yourself beyond belief. Chris, I think you’re the same path. You have always been on that path, you’re just starting that path and you are starting it too.

You have to start that path somewhere, somehow, sometime. But after you start that path, what are you going to do to challenge yourself further? You always have to keep challenging yourself every day.

I always tell people after they take any type of training with me to make a to-do list. We’re all so great with our to-do lists, right? We do them at work everyday. Make a to-do list. “Today I’m going to talk to five strangers. I normally eat lunch at my desk, but today I’m going to go to Whole Foods and talk to the people next to me. On the way home from work tonight, I’m going to have dinner at Baja Fresh (or whatever it is) and I’m going to talk to people. I’m going to learn how to be memorable.”

We’re all memorable. We’re most memorable when we push ourselves beyond our personal comfort levels. When you push your boundaries, you become memorable. People say, “man, that guy was so nice, he asked me great questions!”

Today we saw that guy fom the furniture store and you really connected with him. I was watching his body language and I saw a genuine smile. That’s the thing with people in retail – if you bored them in the store, they will run from you if they see you outside of the store. But this guy didn’t – he stopped and talked to you and gave you a genuine smile.

You pushed yourself beyond your boundaries. Many people truly believe that they are overstepping their boundaries if they get personal with someone. However, as human beings, we’re craving getting personal with others.

I love it when I meet somebody who is interested in what I do. I love when they are interested in me, and compliment me and make me feel good.

You got a great confirmation from that guy. You can say to yourself, wow, this guy really remembered me!

I know how this works, because I bartended for seven years. When I was bartending, I would have people come up to me on the street that had drank in my bar all of the time and I’ll have no idea who they were. They weren’t memorable.

They’d say, “hey, David, how are you?” and I’d have to play it off and say, “hey, man…” I had to call everybody ‘man!’ I’d play it off, and then we’d walk away, and the friend I was with would ask me who that was. I’d have to answer, “I have no idea.”

That night I’d go back to work and I’d see the person again and think, oh my god. This person has been coming to my bar for so long but they were never memorable. They never shared anything with me.

Now, there are two ways to be very memorable: one is to ask questions and get deeper with someone, but you also have to share something about yourself.

Whenever you leave a place, you have to 1) connect with people by asking a lot of questions and 2) leave a part of yourself with everyone you talk to.

Give them the gift of yourself. Share something with them. Maybe it’s about skiing. Whatever it might be. Your last trip to Mexico, how funny it was – whatever! It doesn’t matter.

You want to leave something behind of yourself. You want to leave part of your soul behind so that others can remember you. You don’t want to be that invisible person that walks into a bar every single night but nobody knows your name.

Just like Cheers – you want to go where everybody knows your name!

The weekend is an illusion. Boy, this blog is going to put all of you in another mode of thinking…

I’m going to tell you something that is absolutely going to blow you away: 52 weekends a year. 104 days. (Well actually, it’s probably more than 104 days because there are a few three-day weekends thrown in.) So what does that give us? 107 days.

107 days of the year are pure illusion. 99.99% of the world only tries to meet people on the weekends. I totally made that percentage up, but the sentiment is true: the majority of the people in the world live for the weekend.

And what they do on the weekend is the same thing every time – they expect, they want, they desire, and they wish to meet somebody. They think to themselves that this weekend will be different than the last one.

A lot of you even plan out your weekend the Monday before. Do you know why you start planning next weekend by Monday? Because last weekend was yet another disappointment. Last weekend was yet another weekend where you didn’t meet somebody.

So what are you doing? You’re plotting out the following weekend, thinking that things will be different.

Do you know why the weekend is an illusion? Because you’ve never done anything different to change your way of thinking! You haven’t plugged yourself into anything – you haven’t even TRIED to plug yourself into anything.

I believe you can meet people during the week – any time, any place. It doesn’t matter where it is. For those of you who have dug into my products, you know it’s 100% true. For those of you who have attended a bootcamp, you’re out there every day meeting people left and right.

But so many of you still think that the weekend is going to deliver. You believe in the TV show Friday Night Lights – Friday night is going to come… and go. Most Friday nights come and go with the same results. And then you wake up on Saturday and go on the hunt. You become a hunter on the weekends.

Men are hunters, women are deniers. Men will go out there and try to chase women all weekend, because the illusion is that they will find a woman with the same skills they have always had.

Women are in denial. So they pretend that they don’t want to meet men. “Oh, we’re going to this bar right now because we don’t want to meet men. We’re just going here to hang out with friends.”

Really? You like loud bars with annoying guys drooling on you like wolves? That’s where you want to go to hang out with your friends? I don’t buy it. The fact of the matter is this: you can deny it all you want, but you go out and wish that a man would rescue you from your singledom.

So the weekend is an illusion because you don’t do anything during the week. You have to start doing things during the week. You have to start doing things 15 minutes per day to meet somebody.

I meet more people during the week than I ever do on the weekends. The weekend is just like New Year’s Eve – it’s Amateur Night. When you go out on Friday and Saturday nights, you’re hanging out with all of the amateurs. The majority of people who go to bars on Friday and Saturday nights have no clue how to meet people in a bar. That’s the illusion of the bar.

There’s a blog I wrote a while ago, and I said, tell me your age, and then tell me the number of people you’ve met in a bar and then dated. Which number is greater? Is your bar age greater than your real age?

You have to wake up from this weekend illusion. Wake up and realize that in order to meet somebody spectacular, you have to work for it every day.

You can’t just have a career on the weekends. “I’m just not going to do anything all week and have my career on the weekends. Just on Saturdays and Sundays, that’s it. And not even really Saturdays and Sundays – actually, just Friday nights and Saturday nights. So I’ll work four hours per week, and develop this great career.”

Do you know where you would be if you only worked four hours a week? You’d be living under a bridge in a cardboard box. You wouldn’t be in the house that you’re in right now.

So you’d better start rethinking things, because the weekend is just an illusion.

Today we are going to talk about how to keep the conversation going. Its friday and heres a hint.

Have you ever had anyone say cool to you in the middle of a conversation?

Wait till you see what cool really means.