Let me tell you about a stubborn choice I made, and how I’m still paying for it today. About a year ago, I decided to go surfing. I had never been surfing before, but really wanted to try it (even though I knew it wasn’t the greatest activity for someone with a history of lower back issues).

So I went out and surfed during a vacation. I got up on the board with no problem, but I kept jumping off of it into the shallow water. By my final day of the trip, I was getting really sore . . . but still decided to surf one more time. Since that day, my back has never felt the same. 

Now I’ve tried practically everything to fix it. I’ve done acupuncture.  I’ve gone to chiropractors. I’ve gone to massage therapists.  I’ve been to yoga. I’ve done everything exercise and stretching related. I’ve done it all . . . except gone to get an MRI.

It’s funny, but during all this time I’ve tried to heal myself I’ve never before sat around and just rested for a few days like I did during the Memorial Day weekend. I don’t like to do that because I get too into my own head.

When I sit around, I feel weak. I’m miserable. It borders on depression for me.

I’ve been sitting around my house the last several days doing nothing all day long. Some of you regularly just sit around and watch television all day long. I have no idea how you live that life.

To me, sitting and watching television all day long is just an emotional torture. I’m a doer.

I’ve also been an athlete my entire life.  I work out daily. If I don’t work out for a few days, I feel terrible and I have to do something active to feel better.

Let’s talk about emotional torture, though, because for me there is nothing worse than being forced to rest. I’m really stubborn. My girlfriend has told me plenty of times to get an MRI, but I just wouldn’t do it.

Finally, last week, I decided to make an appointment. I’m going today to get it.

I want to go even deeper into this. I can’t get out of my own head when it comes down to having to rest.  It really stems from the way I was brought up as a child.

My Mom has a bad back. My Mom has fought through it her whole life. My Mom also got depressed at times.

My Father died of MS. He got into his head so badly that he actually caused himself to get it. He didn’t want it so badly that he ended up getting it. Strange story. I’ll share that story another day.

So I’ve done nothing but practice mental toughness since I was a little kid.  My whole life I’ve had to practice mental toughness. You get hurt, and you go out and do it anyway. 

When I was in college, I separated my shoulder.  At the time, I played on a competitive intramural league and I was also weightlifting. Two days after separating my shoulder, I was playing football again with my friends. I always believed you fight through pain, because nothing is worse than the mental anguish. 

So as I layed around all Memorial Day weekend stiff as can be (and annoyed as can be), I realized what my lesson from this should be: If I had listened to my girlfriend months ago, I would have gotten an MRI and figured out what the problem is and what’s really wrong with me. Had I done that, I would have gotten the right treatment instead of doing 80% the wrong things.

I have never before sat around for a week to rest and just let my body heal. I don’t know how to let my body heal. When my back locks up or contracts, I will fight my way through it so I can start walking again.

Time seems to move so slowly when you’re resting. It’s ridiculous. This weekend was torture.

My girlfriend is in the Cayman Islands right now enjoying herself. She’s got a little vacation and a little business trip. Good for her.

I wouldn’t want to be around me anymore when I’m like this — stubborn, cantankerous and so in my own head. I would love for her to be here to help take care of me. I would never ask, even if I wanted her to stay.

There’s something about me that is so stubborn, telling myself that I can take care of myself and can make this go away on my own, that even if I really needed her I would never say a word. When I’m really hurting, I tend to push people away.

Admitting that fact, about that or anything else, is a big part of changing. I see the same issue in a lot of you when I read your posts.

A lot of you are still going through the same problems with the opposite sex over and over again. When are you going to reach out for help? When are you going to stop being so stubborn?

There are more than six billion people in the world today. So you have to believe that the answer to that question is yes.

There are so many people out there, and so many great people to meet. If you’re not out there taking action meeting and talking to people, though, I can see why you might have such a “doomsday” attitude questioning whether there is someone out there for everyone.

I get a lot of emails like this one from people. People email me looking for some “magic pill” to fix their dating lives. They want me to give them the one answer that will fix everything.

What kind of answer does someone want who writes to me asking whether there is someone for everyone — yes?! I am not a messiah or a prophet. I’m not a psychic. The answer to that question all depends upon whether YOU believe that there is someone for everyone.

I am someone who can absolutely teach you the skills you need to meet someone (and to meet the most amazing someone), but you need to invest in yourself and really believe, learn and embrace what I teach to make that happen.

So many people email me looking for the magic cure to all their dating issues. So many people send me emails that are prefaced by something like “If I could just know this one thing…” or “If you could just answer this one question…” It’s really just never that simple, though, and it takes a lot more to really make a change in your dating life.

That is why I’ve developed products, write my blog and have a membership site. It takes time to alter and authentically change your belief system. The truth is that nobody can change your belief system for you. I can show you the way, but you need to do the work on yourself and change it.

So back to the original question from my female reader “Is there someone out there for everyone?” The answer to that question is an unequivocal YES. Not only is there someone out there for everyone, but there are amazing people to meet along the way while you’re out there finding that special someone.

It all starts, however, by learning the basic skills of how to interact with people. If you don’t have the basic skills or you refuse to learn the basic skills (and a lot of people DO refuse to learn them), then you will always feel like it’s “doomsday” in your love life.

Life is a great journey. Take a step every day, and you’ll meet great people.

Today’s video is a repeat on what i feel is the problem with today’s men. We are all guilty of this and need to embrace this message if we really desire happiness.

There are two kinds of old people: there are those that you meet and you have like a magical experience, because they are just celebrating their amazing lives. They are full of life and wisdom and you just sit there captivated by them. You can almost see the young kid they were in their eyes.

The other kind of old person is the miserable one. They don’t say, “excuse me,” they give you dirty looks, they’re just miserable.

Rich said something really interesting: by that age, you’ve either won or you’ve lost. And the ones that are miserable are the ones that have lost – and they know it. They lost in life. And they are pissed off at the world. They are pissed off that their life wasn’t that great. They are pissed off that their life is gone.

But what’s interesting is that your life is never gone – ever. So you’ve had a shitty first 74 years? So what? It doesn’t mean (if you live until you’re 85) that the last 11 years can’t be spectacular!

Life is not about winning or losing – it’s about embracing. Life is about enjoying. Life is about going with the flow and it’s not about being bitter about the things that you didn’t do. It’s about making the changes so that you can do the things that you want right now.

You’re never too old to learn this lesson. You’re never too old to live, and you’re never too old to enjoy yourself.

So if I have any bitter, old readers: start living your life every day! If the first 74 years sucked, it doesn’t mean the last 11 have to too!