Basically what you do is you go out with a group of guys, and you become what we call “creepers”.  You are in a pack of eight, and one or all of you will creep your way over to the women slowly but surely.  Every five minutes you creep another inch, maybe another six inches. And then, by the time the woman is finally leaving, you quickly bolt over—the whole group, like you guys are all attached by a string.

Then all of you go, “Why are you leaving right now?  Where are you going?  Where are you from?”

Wow, what an amazing opener: “Where are you from?  Why are you leaving right now?  Drink!  Come on, we’ll buy you a drink!  We’ll buy you a drink!  Come on!”  And then the woman always says, “No, that’s okay.”  And you’re like “No, come on, you have to drink, you have to drink.  What, are you crazy?  Have a drink!  Come on, have a drink.”

It’s really strange.  Men truly believe that they can buy the vagina.  They at least like to think that they can buy it.  I’m going to get the vagina drunk.  The vagina’s going to like me, and the vagina’s going to want to come home with me.

But here’s the issue: the vagina doesn’t like you spending 45 minutes creeping your way over there inch-by-inch.  It made her scared.  That’s why the vagina—which is powered by two legs—decided to run outside the bar and leave.  She was running away from you.  Turned off.  She ran away dude.

So here’s the deal: you want to meet her?  Walk over right away.  You offer her a drink and she says no?  Don’t become so self-conscious. Don’t be that guy that busts on her for not drinking. Not everyone drinks.

It’s so weird, people who are drinking get so uncomfortable with people who are not drinking.  You ever been to a party where everybody’s smoking pot and taking hits out of the bong? If the bong is passed to you, and you decline, pot smokers will never look at you and go, “Oh, dude.  Take three hits, man.  Take a hit, take a hit.”  They could care less!  They’re high and they’re having a good time.  They’re mellow; they know you’re going to be mellow.

But alcohol brings out aggression.  So much so that you become aggressive with the way you drink and other people in the room, drinking or not. “Please, drink with me.  Please, I don’t feel comfortable…”

Just. Stop.

So guys, please, keep this always in mind: creepers are creepy and vaginas really can’t be bought.

All of a sudden, the cell phone rings. And of course, like Pavlov did with his dogs, you’re trained to look at it.  You see a picture of your friend and their phone number and their name, all there.  You think to yourself, do I want to pick up or do I not want to pick up? Do I really want to talk to this person?  Are they going to zap me of my energy?  Are they going to keep my mood where it is right now?  Is the conversation going to be one-sided?  Am I even in the mood to talk to this person?

It’s always a mystery what your friend is going to say. Maybe your friend has been going through some major life issues and has been talking about it for the past month. So you know they’re going to talk about something that you don’t want to engage in anymore.

This is where new technology can really help us all. All these phones are linked up with Facebook and Twitter nowadays, so your pictures always show up when someone calls. But it’s always the same picture.

How about if someone came up with some software where the picture that shows up was live.  When you call someone, your camera phone would take a picture of you and display it as an icon. Now your friend can finally see exactly what you look like when you call.  Hell, you could be smiling, you could be angry, but he’ll know it right away.  That way he’ll see the live picture of you as you call and then decide whether he wants to be engaged, just like in real life.

If you see someone coming at you angry, you don’t want to talk to them.  If you see someone coming at you smiling, you naturally want to talk to them.  So if your friend is pissed off and angry and you’re in a great, mellow mood, you won’t pick up the phone.

That’s what I think is going to have to happen.  In order for our phone pick up ratio to increase, we’re going to need to see a live picture.  For dating, my God—it’s endless.

You have no idea if this woman is calling you or why she’s calling you.  You’re hoping at 11:00 when she calls you at night it’s a booty call, but in reality she could be calling just to chat. But with my new recognition software, you’ll see that she’s totally naked, vibrator by her side, thinking whether or not to use it. Or she’s wearing something sexy and she calls you, you know she’s look for action.

I think this is great!  A live picture of people so you know exactly how to respond to your phone, just like in real life. I think we have found the next level in dating, the next level in phone sex. Forget about it.  The next level in communication!

You’ll know whether to flirt or not to flirt. And how about all of you guys that have talked to customer service reps and you think they’re hot on the other end of the phone. You have no idea what they look like, but you think they’re hot, so you start flirting with them and it turns out they’re 80 years old, but they just had a young voice. Ha, but not with my facial recognition software!

You guys probably think I’m crazy. But I can guarantee you this stuff is going to come and it’s going to happen pretty soon.  It’s a great idea, but unfortunately, I just don’t know how to bring it to market.

Anybody want to help?  Anybody out there in Bloglandia want to help me bring this to market?  We will make millions billions together and have a lot of fun exposing people’s true intentions before they call.

Do you think about laying in bed all alone, candles lit, romantic music playing in the background, with a bottle of KY lotion next to you, as you slowly explore your organ for probably the thousandth time this year? Is that self-love?

How about when you look in the mirror and you actually admire everything about yourself, when you stare directly into your eyes and embrace everything about who you are. Is that self-love?

Or when you actually write down all the amazing things about how you are, the type of friend that you are, the type of lover that you are, the type of boyfriend that you are, the type of man that you’ve become, and more importantly, through all those experiences, how you look at yourself. Is that self-love?

Self-love is by far the most powerful lesson when it comes down to dating. Without it, you are doomed. You really are. There is no chance in hell you are ever going to meet somebody great unless you love yourself.

So how do you go about loving yourself? Pretty simple. You’ve got to start looking at the good points of you, instead of the bad points. And this is usually where I get the “Yeah, But David” from my clients.

“Yeah, but David, I really, really don’t like the way my body looks right now and I’d do much better meeting the opposite sex as soon as I like my body.”

Do you hear the way that you are talking? Listen to what you are saying “when I like my body.” You’ve got to love your body.

Here is the deal: your body can always be better. Whose body can’t be better? All of us could lose a few pounds; all of us could gain a few more pounds of muscle; all of us could fix our hair, fix a tooth, or whatever it might be. But self-love starts every day because every single day you have an opportunity to meet the opposite sex; you have the opportunity to meet a great woman and if you are feeling down about yourself, there is no way in the world you are going to be able to meet that awesome woman.

Self-love is one of the most powerful journeys you can take and everybody needs to take that journey every single day. Otherwise, you might end up like this person:

“I am really waiting until the spring time to date because I figure by then, I will have the job that I want because right now I just don’t really like my job that much. And I know I am going to have a better job even though I haven’t sent my resume out yet but I know someone is going to want me once I send my resume out. Not only that but spring time, I am going to lose the 20 pounds that I have put on over the course of the holidays and the wintertime and I am going to start hitting the gym come March and I will look a lot better and…”

It doesn’t start in the future! Self-love starts in the present. It starts right now.

Self-love.

A lot of us are still living our parents’ decisions and our parents’ wishes as we formulate our own—myself included. My father’s belief systems have plagued me my entire life.

What I’m about to admit to you is the hardest things I’ve ever written in my entire life.  But last night’s game should have been my fourth Super Bowl triumph.  See, my old man, he was the guy that would always thought it was funny to do the opposite.

So he was living in New York, I think, in the ’50s.  And of course the Giants were a good team in the ’50s; they were an NFL powerhouse before the AFL and the NFL became one league.  They were an NFL powerhouse.  They won a couple of championships.

The Jets were an expansion team.  So my father decided to root for the expansion team because he thought, “yeah, I’ll just go against everybody else” because he loved to argue with people.  That was his whole point.

When I was a little kid I always wore a football jersey and that jersey was the Titans. (Because the Jets used to be the called the Titans back then.)  And I’ve been a Jets fan, as all of you know, my entire life.  Pity me.  The Jets don’t win anything.

But my father was halfway cool.  He had sort of been a Giant fan.

This would have been my fourth Super Bowl win.  Yesterday, I would have been jumping up and down when Eli Manning won the game.  I would have been excited-yet-annoyed that Ahmad Bradshaw didn’t take the knee at the one and kill the clock, instead of giving Brady another chance.

But you know what, congratulations to the Giants.  It shows what good coaching will do and it shows what determination will do.  I don’t even want to begin to tell you about the other curse my dad gave me, the one that’s even worse than the Giants curse: I’m a Mets fan.  I don’t know, eight, nine World Series’ the Yankees have won in my lifetime compared to the Mets’ two measly World Series and mediocre play every single year.

It’s time to get rid of our parents’ programming.  It’s time to start living our own lives.  Go Giants.  Go Yankees.  See, the curse of my dad is now officially over, because as of now I’m a Giants fan.  And next baseball season, I’m all about A-Rod, Mariano Rivera, and Derek Jeter.

Go Yankees.

The Superbowl.

Unfortunately, my J.E.T.S. did not make it this year, but as a fan of the game––I’ll still be watching; rooting against the ________s.

Obi said I should engage with you all while I’m sitting back with the chips and guacamole. So…I’ll do something new and tweetcast all my irreverent thoughts throughout the Superbowl! (I know, I’m so 2012.) Follow me @Davidwygant to get all the latest tweets.

If you’ve never had a coaching session, or been to any of the bootcamps, this may be your chance to get some one-on-one time with me––as much as you can fit in 140 characters! I’ll be tweeting and responding to tweets all day using the hashtag #WygantSB. (Make sure to tag your tweets with #WygantSB if you’re going to join the conversation.)

Football and dating. My two favorite topics.

Let’s tweet, tweeps.

I was watching the football game the other night with some friends.  We got some food afterward and it got late.  My friend Jason ended up dropping us off at the corner of a busy intersection.  I got out of the car and stood on the street corner waiting to cross.

The light changed and I began to cross, with this woman walking ahead of me. She had on tiny little, itty-bitty shorts, hiked up as far as they possibly can go.  It almost looked like she was wearing dental floss—got to love South Beach—and a tank top on.

I was walking slowly and enjoying the night, a good distance behind her.  She went down the block and made a left turn. Then I made a left turn.  She looked back once with a look of panic and fear in her eyes.  I could have passed her to help alleviate the fear, but there was no need because I was walking slowly. I realized how trained her brain is trained to think that if she’s walking alone at night and a man is following her—the guy is a stalker.

It was interesting, because I actually got into the mind of a woman at that moment and I realized that it’s a scary thing.  There’s a man walking behind her.  She has no idea what this man is going to do.  And it’s sad that we live in a world like that, where women will actually have to feel that fear.

The reason why this happens is because so many men stare at women and don’t say anything.  They stare at them at a bar and don’t say a word and creep them out.  They walk down the street and actually do follow them, trying to figure out what to say, and they don’t say anything at all.  They stare at women at the gym and don’t say a word.

So the reason why this woman was all spooked was because of what all the guys do to her over and over and over again.  And I got really deep inside her head, and I thought to myself, “I’d be spooked too, if men would follow me around like that most of the time and not say anything.”

She finally stopped to answer her cell phone and I walked by her.  I walked by her, walked to the building, and walked in.  I turned around and I noticed her see me walk in the building and there was a look of relief on her face.  I actually was not following her.

So you guys have to realize that when you’re staring at a women, maybe following her down the street, whatever it might be, if you don’t say anything in a reasonable amount of time—you may freak her out.

You really should spend some more time approaching and learning how to approach women. Just take advantage of real opportunities instead of being so consumed with women on the street or a bar, or wherever it might be.  This is a great lesson and I want all of you think about that.  I want you all to realize that you have the power to stop this.

I’m in Boston this weekend—not really enjoying the cold weather but I always have a blast when I’m up here.  It’s such a college town here, and the streets in Cambridge are always packed with young people at night, so going out at night you never run out of new people to meet.

Last night I was out with a group of friends and we met some very cool women in our hotel who hung out with us for the evening.  One woman I met, who was in town on business, was an incredibly fun person to talk to, just very lively and full of energy.

She was also a very sexual person.  We were talking for a while, and we eventually got to the topic of the things we were passionate about in life.  I asked her what she loved to do, and she replied, “Oh, I’m  very passionate about getting off!”

I had to laugh when I heard that, and I thought it was great that she was being so open with me about herself and her personal life.  So we talked about her getting herself off, ringing the doorbell, auditioning the finger puppets, whatever you want to call it.  Then she lowered her voice a little bit and told me that she had masturbated twice in her hotel room that day—once in the morning, and again before going out.

By the end of the night, we had spent so much time talking about and describing all sorts of sexual things—all those things that she was passionate about—that she was basically ready to jump any guy’s bones around her.  I said to her, “This is going to be a great blog to write about!”  She asked me what would be so good about it, what is it that men could learn from something like that.

A lot of guys don’t really realize just how sexual women really and how high women’s sex drives are. Women are very, very sexual, and they LOVE talking about sex.  If you ever listen to two women who are close friends talk, so much of it will be about sex.  Much more than men.

Women can talk about sex all day long.  Men will play the “Who Would You Rather Bang?” game or sit around and check women out and point out hot women to their friends—but women can really sit there and talk about sex, describe what they like, and recall past sexual encounters in vivid detail in their own imaginations until the cows come home.

Men like to think sex, but a lot of guys have a hard time expressing it—especially around other men or a new woman they’ve just met.  A woman will have a hard time getting sexually aroused in conversation around a guy like that, and it’s not because he doesn’t know what to do or what to say or how to touch or whatever.  It’s because he has a hard time getting in touch with his own sexual thoughts and desires in himself.

Men spend so much time thinking about having sex and trying to get sex, and virtually no time thinking about what it is that they truly love about sex.  What it is that actually turns them on.  So in the end they have no way of expressing their own sexual desires because they don’t know what to say.  They’ve never practiced being open, letting it out, and just talking about it.

So while you guys are going out this weekend, or just relaxing at home, I want you guys to take a minute and be open and honest with yourself about sex.  Tonight, don’t whack off to online porn, but take some time to think and describe all those things that you like.

Do you like the soft feel of a woman’s skin sliding across your palms?  Do you like to admire the curve in her lower back?  Do you like to lay your face in her long hair and take a deep inhale?  Maybe you like kissing, maybe you like cuddling, maybe you like staring deeply into a woman’s eyes while you’re making love, maybe you like banging really hard, maybe you’re into some really weird gross shit I’d rather not hear about—but whatever it is, describe it to yourself in your own head.

What do you love about being intimate with a woman and why?  Maybe you’re inexperienced and that’s fine too, just use your imagination—what would it be like?

Describe the sensations.  Write it down if you want to.  You’ll be surprised to see what you come up with.

Wait a second, what is David talking about? I thought he didn’t like the number stuff. I thought he said a guy that calls women 7, 8, 9s, and 10s was immature. I thought he said that there is only a “one” and a “two”: one, you want to hang with; two, you don’t. What is he talking about, the “perfect 10”?

When I talk about a “perfect 10” I’m talking about everything that you want—that’s your perfect 10. Everything that you deserve is your perfect 10.

You should never use the number system to rate women; it is a little immature, and it is a little ridiculous. Not only that, but it just makes you look like an idiot if anybody ever hears you talking that way. Plus, you’re not perfect, so why should you be rating other people?

So, here is what is important about the perfect 10: the perfect 10 is somebody that you are so ridiculously attracted to that she is a perfect 10. She’s amazing; she’s hot; she’s sexy; and here’s the deal: you need to find your version of the perfect 10 because otherwise, you’re never going to be satisfied.

If you’re constantly settling on women that really don’t rock your world, that you don’t find absolutely beautiful inside and out, you’re constantly going to be looking, you’re constantly going to be wondering what else there is out there.

Every guy deserves his perfect 10. And you should never be influenced by your friends. If you think a woman is absolutely, incredibly gorgeous; if you think she’s sexy as can be; if you think she’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen—stop getting validated by your friends.

If your friends tell you that you can do better, what does that matter? The only thing that matters is how you feel, how you look at that woman, and what you think of her—not what your friends think. You don’t need her to walk into a party and be a head-turner. What’s important is what you think about her.

So, you’re perfect 10 is going to be somebody that you say wow to, that you think is amazing, that you find sexy all the time. So, stop being influenced by outside sources. Stop trying to prove yourself through outside sources, and start looking at the people you date, and ask yourself: is she the person that is going to turn me on? Is she the person that’s a perfect 10 on the inside? Is she the women that is going to rock my world in every way, shape, and form?

If you’re not with a woman that you think is the perfect 10, you need to let her go. Get back out there, start talking it up, and get serious about finding your perfect 10.

Last night, I recorded a great talk with Obi about how quickly the year is flying by and how important it is to really get clear about what you want to accomplish.

We came to the conclusion that most people allow the year to fly right by them because they are afraid of really going deep into themselves and asking those important questions:

What do I really want?

How can I do more amazing sh*t?

How do I become the person that attracts the relationships that I deserve?

Join me on my good friend Larry Love’s radio show, tonight! I will be talking all about my new book Naked and how we can all get naked together.

We will also be taking calls from our listeners, so stay tuned, its going to be an hour you do not want to miss!

Join us Monday night, January 30th, 2012 on The Larry Love Show in an interview with David Wygant 6pm pst.

Call-in number: 1 (724) 444-7444 – ID# 92432 / Pin Number 1#

6pm PST

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