One week to go until Black Friday, and I am just chomping at the bit to find out what super deals will be out there . . . and how I have to get up at 3:00 a.m. to fight for the one plasma television in the store they put on sale for $529.00. It’s funny how much of a shopping culture we have become, which is evident from the one million websites and television commercials counting down to Black Friday.
Oh well. I am actually really counting the days until Cosmic Saturday. Do you know what that is? Well you’ll have to wait until tomorrow and catch the commercials on my site to find out.
No on to today’s Friday blog . . .
It’s interesting. A lot of people who smoke think it’s a great way to meet people. To them it’s always the easiest way to meet people. Ask any smoker, and they’ll tell you so.
They will tell you that the greatest thing about smoking is that you can always walk up to someone of the opposite sex and ask to bum a cigarette. All you have to do is walk up to someone and say, “Excuse me. Do you have a cigarette?” or “Excuse me. Do you have a light?”
Let me tell you how you are perceived when you use the “Excuse me, do you have a cigarette?” line. You are bumming a cigarette, which means you are a bum. It means that you cannot afford your own cigarette (and hence you have to bum one), or that you are one of those people who are perpetually quitting and thus never buys your own cigarettes.
Either way, it really doesn’t look good. Picture this. There is a woman you want to meet standing across the room. So you decide to walk over and bum a cigarette off her as a means of initiating conversation with her. When you ask her if you can bum a cigarette, you are basically telling her “Listen, I was too cheap to buy my own cigarettes tonight, so I decided I was going to bum, steal and borrow cigarettes from other people.”
Being a non-smoker, and having recently spent some time in Europe, I have to say it’s nice to travel and not have to smell smoke wherever you go. Granted, there are smokers all over the place — outside and puffing away outside the doors of restaurants and so forth.
Here’s something, though, that I always wonder about with smokers. Why do smokers feel like it’s a right to throw their cigarette butts on the ground? You’re basically polluting the Earth.
No, this isn’t one of those blogs where I’m going to talk about saving the planet and the oceans, but why do smokers seem to feel entitled to litter their cigarette butts everywhere. If you look around your average city, there are cigarette butts all over the place.
Now I know that some of you think it’s wonderful that you can go out there and meet people by asking for a cigarette or a light, but this isn’t a pick up blog about smoking. If it was, the only thing I’d be telling you pickup is cigarette butts.
I’d tell you to get down on your hands and knees and pick up was all the cigarette butts you see on the ground. It’s really disgusting to walk down the street and see all the cigarette butts.
I also love all the gum chewers out there who think the world is one giant ashtray to discard their chewed up wads of gum. When you look down at the ground, it seems like all you see are cigarette butts and old gum. We’ve become inhumane, dirty and disgusting.
Don’t worry. I am still going to tie this into dating, because I know some of you hate when I rant and rave . . . or when I vary even the slightest bit from the topics of pickup and how to meet people.
So the next time you see a smoker throw a cigarette butt down on the ground, I’ve got a great pickup line for you. Say, “Excuse me. Do you realize that thing doesn’t decompose? What gives you the right to throw that butt down on the ground?”
You want to start a relationship off on the right foot. So you might as well start it off arguing.
I was having a conversation the other day that made me think. People always say that a good relationship should just happen. They say that a good relationship doesn’t take work and that it should just happen naturally.
Do you know what I say to that? I say that’s bullshit. A good relationship takes a lot of work. Ask any couple who have been together a long time, and they will tell you that it takes a lot of work.
It seems, though, like everybody has a negative connotation associated with the word work. The truth is that if you love the person you’re with and you love the relationship, then it doesn’t feel like work.
Every day when I wake up, I never feel like I’m going to work. I love what I do. I enjoy the subject matter. I enjoy the people with whom I work. I enjoy each day as it comes. So the truth is that I never feel like I’m going to work. I just feel like I’m just enjoying myself.
The same thing is true about my relationship. I am constantly working on things in my relationship. I am constantly working on myself and my issues. None of that feels like work, because I truly believe the payoff for doing this is immense.
Do what you love, and the money will follow. Love yourself, and the love will follow.
In over 14 years of doing this, I think I have heard it all. I think I have heard every fear imaginable — fear of approaching, fear of getting intimate, fear of saying what’s on your mind and even fear of initiating that first kiss.
You guys have labeled all these things in so many different and creative ways, from monkey chatter to approach anxiety. I mean, if you Google “fear,” it is amazing how many different versions of it will pop up in the search results.
What I am about to share with you in today’s podcast is going to blow you away. I know that every week I tell you that the podcast is the most powerful one ever, but that is because every week I come up with something more powerful than the week before.
In this podcast, I am going to tell you why there are only two emotions in this world: one is love and the other is fear. Hate is fear. Approach anxiety is fear.
Love and fear really are the only two emotions, and in this podcast I explain to you how to really embrace loving everything and fearing nothing. Click here to listen now:
Also, if you want to learn how to truly embrace love in your life and also how to truly erase fear, then you need to check out my Men’s “What’s Your Excuse?” and my Women’s “No Excuses” programs.
Are you somebody who really takes a lot of pride in washing out your containers (to make sure they don’t smell), before you put them into your neat little recycling bin that you put out on the curb every Tuesday? Are you a recycler?
We can talk about how passionate you are about recycling plastics and glass another day, because this blog isn’t about the environment and isn’t about that kind of recycling. This blog is about recycling people.
Do you recycle people? Are you someone who has been in a dating mode – you’ve dated twenty or thirty people – but you’re still single, so you start to wonder if you might have missed the right person along the way? Do you think, “I wonder if I should go out with [name] again?”
This is what I call being a dating recycler. Here is how I feel about recycling in dating: The reason you’re not with someone is because it wasn’t meant to be in the first place.
A lot of people think that they maybe should recycle some of the people from their past. The truth is, though, that the reason why you’re not with people from your past now is because you didn’t connect with them in the first place.
Recycling is wonderful for the environment, but it’s actually dangerous in dating. If you recycle when you date, you’ll end up breaking up with someone two, three or more times. I used to recycle people, but it never worked because chemistry with someone is either there or it isn’t there.
There are some asterisks to the rules about recycling. You could have met someone after a breakup, went out with them, and it wasn’t right. You could recycle that person because, technically, you were not in a relationship with them.
In general, though, recycling in dating just doesn’t work. It doesn’t work because it never worked in the first place. So keep on recycling those bottles and cans. It’s great for the environment, but lousy for dating.
For those of you who have never seen a Cirque du Soleil show, it’s a must on anyone’s list. We saw Kooza the other night, and it was outstanding.
There’s one part of the show called “The Wheel Of Death,” in which two guys get into these two rotating gerbil wheel contraption and they run and jump around these wheels like it’s a carnival ride. They did all this with no fear.
It’s interesting that people can do things like this — death defying acts — with no fear. To some of you, saying hi to a member of the opposite sex is a death defying act.
Google Cirque du Soleil or do a search for it on YouTube, and watch some of the things they do and some of the ways they contort their bodies. Then I want you to think about all your fears about communicating with the opposite sex because, really, would you rather say hello to someone you’re attracted to or get caught in The Wheel Of Death?
For those of you who need some motivation today, here is The Wheel Of Death:
What I really want to talk about today, though, is all of the mumblers out there. Recently someone sent me a voicemail message. I had to listen to it four times just to figure out on what phone number to call them back, because the person who left the message was mumbling so badly.
If you’re going to leave a voicemail message, be concise, leave your number twice and speak clearly. Keep the message short. Don’t tell people how you won’t be available from 12:00 to 1:00 because you are going grocery shopping, or how you are taking a shower at 3:00 that afternoon.
For business, keep it short but friendly. Say something like, “Hi, it’s David, calling to talk to you about the work we discussed on Wednesday. Have a great day, and I’m looking forward to speaking with you soon.”
For personal, you can leave a message that is something like this: “Hi, it’s Joe. It was so great speaking with you the other day about Italian roast coffee. You know, I Googled that coffee that you liked, and I learned something really interesting about it. Call me and I’ll you something about it.”
It’s always good to bring someone back to the moment when you met them. Also, by doing this you show them you were listening and interested in what they were saying, which will intrigue them even more.
I tell guys all the time that when they meet a woman, they should learn at least three things about her and remember them. That way when you contact her later, you can bring her back to the moment you met.
This technique is important in business too. Let’s say you have been shopping for a new car. When you go to contact a salesperson with whom you spoke at the dealership, you can say “It was great talking to you about the new Audi A4 the other day.” It makes your communication instantly go more smoothly.
So many of you are voicemail mumblers. It’s time to stop being a voicemail mumbler, and to stop putting a strain on people’s eardrums!
For those of you who missed getting my football picks this week, I needed to take a break to attend to my fantasy teams. I am, however, going to give you my pick for tonight’s game.
For tonight, I like the Ravens over the Browns. Boy, that’s a tough one to pick. The Browns are about the worst team in football, and I think a team of teenage girls could probably beat them.
Take advantage of where you live. We tend to not take advantage of the things around us.
I remember that while I lived in New York City, I never went to the theater. Never. I didn’t really take advantage of the museums either.
Even though I don’t really like the theater or museums that much, it is still unbelievable that I didn’t take advantage of them at all while I lived there. I did take advantage of the restaurants and other things, but you get the idea.
Now I live on the beach. I remember before I moved here and I lived in Brentwood (which is about 20 minutes from the beach), I used to drive down to the beach three or four nights a week to do my cardio, get some air and get grounded.
Now that I live on the beach, I never want to walk the beach at night. I never even walk it during the day. I just look at it. It’s pretty. It’s beautiful. It’s lovely, but I don’t take advantage of it like I used to before it was right in my backyard.
It seems like we never take advantage of the things that are right in our own backyards. This is, however, something I want all of you to start doing.
I want you to write down ten things in your hometown or the nearby area that are amazing. Then I want you to write down things in your hometown you don’t take advantage of and why.
What stops you? Are you lazy? Do you make excuses?
Do you find other things to do, or do you just take these things for granted that they are always going to be there? Stop taking things for granted and start enjoying every single day what is right in your own backyard.
Today, I want you not to read, but to watch and listen. If you’ve ever wanted to know how to appear confident every time you approach a woman, this video is a “must see” for you! This video is not only a great example of something I teach, but I also tell you how I used this technique in my own life. Enjoy and have a great Saturday!
Before you listen to today’s podcast, I am about to share with all the men something to which you need to really pay attention.
Yesterday on the flight home from New York City, I was sitting next to a guy who was wearing a pair of True Religion jeans. Every time he bent over or reached down for something, the whole plane had the privilege of seeing half of his hairy ass. I am not just talking “plumber butt crack,” this was plumber butt crack on steroids.
This is not something anyone needs to see . . . ever. Every time he moved, every person on that plane — women, men and children — were forced to see his ass.
SO, guys, if you can feel the wind chafing your ass when you are wearing jeans, then it means they are way too low and you need to cover up!
Now, on to another revealing topic . . .
This might be the most powerful podcast you will ever hear. I was recently on the phone with a guy who was thinking about taking a Bootcamp, and he asked me why he has trouble approaching women. He had already attended someone else’s bootcamp at which they had instructed him to approach women using some kind of pickup line.
I told him that pickup lines will never work. Life is all about observations based on instincts. He asked me about what kind of instincts I was talking, and I told him I was talking about the kind of instincts we have as a child.
Remember when you were a kid (maybe three, four or five years old) and you’d see something you like so you’d look at it and touch it? Remember also how when you did that your mother would scold you and say, “Don’t do that?”
Do you realize that the social conditioning we got from about the age of four to about the age of eleven was all about the things we should not do (and all about the things we can’t do)? Don’t look at strangers. Don’t talk to strangers. Don’t smile at that person.
Our social conditioning is the reason why so many of us out there now suffer from problems meeting the opposite sex. Our social conditioning taught us not to talk to people instead of relying on our natural instincts.
This podcast will truly blow you away. It is by far the most important podcast I’ve ever done. Enough writing now. It’s time to open your ears and start listening!
Also, if you want to learn how to recapture your natural instincts and de-program yourself from all of you bad social conditioning, then you need to check out my Men’s “What’s Your Excuse?” and my Women’s “No Excuses” programs.
