I love that term, “They don’t want you to know about it.” Who are “they?” Are they a committee of people? Do they form this powerful committee together called the “they’s?”
Another term we use all the time, “Everyone recommended this movie.” Who’s everyone? It’s funny, somebody will tell you about a movie and they’ll say this movie is great, everybody recommends it. Have you seen it? No, not at all.

So then all of a sudden, because we’re so programmed, all of a sudden we’ll start talking about movies we’ve heard. I’ve heard this is great, everybody says it’s great. Who’s everybody? With these people, is it Bill, is it Tom, is it Ted, is it Mary, is Alice? Who exactly is everybody? And why did they all say the movie is great?

Dating And Small Talk

So you can use both terms, you can use everybody and they. Everybody, they all said it was great. See a new restaurant in town, everybody says it’s great food. Who’s everybody? Nobody covers their lists of people and here is the deal: I’m pretty particular about where I eat, I’m very particular where I vacation, I’m very particular about what type of movie I see.
So I want referrals, I want names.

I want to see if these people even like these people who are recommending this movie to me. We really misuse some terms and I find it really amusing.
Everybody says that this is a great blog, they should all read it. Who’s everybody? And who’s they?
And how do we use this when we meet someone? Think about making fun of the they’s in the world.

I got the Richard Branson book, “Business Stripped Bare,” — that’s a good read. I’ve got “The Art of Seduction” — I’ve heard that’s a great read, but I’ve never read it. I’ve got “The New Psycho-Cybernetics” — I heard that’s a life-changing book. I’ve got Malcolm Gladwell’s book, “What the Dog Saw.” Haven’t read that one yet, either. Got some book called “The Logic of Life.” No idea what that is. I think I picked it up one night in a bookstore when I was walking around. I got something called “Intoxify or Die.” I don’t want to die, but that’s all I know about that. I’ve got a whole bunch of other business books just sitting around.

Why Reading Helps Your Dating

Obviously at one point or another, I bought these really great books with the intent of reading them because of some reason or another, but I never read them. But yet I save them, thinking to myself, I’m going to read them. I’ve actually had “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene sitting on my shelf for four years, and I haven’t read it yet.

What books do you guys have sitting on your shelf? What are some of your favorite books that you’ve read, and have they changed your life? Maybe this might motivate me to read one of these books, or maybe I might just buy one of your books that you recommend, let it sit on my shelf, and let it gather dust with some of my other books. Not only that this is a great topic of conversation for dates.

No, not somebody who orders eggs and hash browns at the diner, takes them home, and then rehashes them the next morning.

The other rehashing.

Are you somebody who will go out on a date-maybe a few dates-and then if it suddenly fizzles out with him or her, you’ll go and drive your friends crazy for the next two weeks reliving and replaying every single moment of those dates. You want to rehash every moment: “If I just said this…” “If I just did that…” “If he just reacted to me this way…” “It was over all because I didn’t react that way, that’s the reason why we’re not going out again!”

Dating And Complaining

All that rehashing is ridiculous. It’s not the one thing you did or didn’t do that killed it. It’s a combination of things. It’s energy. It’s chemistry. There’s so much more involved than just one stupid little thing you could’ve done better. Usually nothing you could have done would have saved the situation anyway.

So if you’re driving your friends crazy rehashing your last failed date or relationship 24/7 over something that you think might have gone wrong—you’re 100% wrong in that. Because what really went wrong is that you didn’t have the chemistry with that person. Maybe life at that moment was throwing you a curve ball. Maybe your date had things going on in his or her life. Maybe you had things going on in yours.

It’s never, ever just one thing. It’s not one thing that you said on that date that turned the whole thing around and killed the date momentum. It’s not one thing that made your date not want you or desire you or want to be with you. So stop rehashing the past, and start smoking all the hash that you want.

How old is too old to have a roommate?

How old is too old to be sharing a sofa with your roommate watching TV?

At what age should you no longer be shopping with another man for furniture? To be sharing the same big screen television?

How old is too old to have to take turns cleaning another man’s toilet?

How old is too old to have to leave your apartment on a Friday night because your roommate has a hot date who he wants to cook dinner for without you around?

How old is too old for you to have a roommate, just because you want to live in the middle of the bustling city when you can really live five or ten minutes away and get a place to yourself?

Shogo and his roommates

I want to hear from all the women out there today.

How attractive do you find a man when you go back to his house and his roommate is laying there on the sofa on a Friday night with his hand buried knuckle-deep into his ball socket sitting there in his boxers watching television?

Or when you walk into a man’s apartment for the very first time and his roommate is there playing XBox with three other guys, drinking canned beer where one of them happens to be sitting on the lawn chair dragged in from the patio because they had no extra chairs?

How old is too old to have a roommate and when is it time to grow up and live on your own?

Forget about how old is too old to be living with your parents…that’s a whole other blog.

They usually do a very mediocre job at what they already are doing for work. They tend to get fired quite often, and they also tend to blame other people for their own misery. They will always tell you that they hate their current job and that it’s just temporary. Yet you have known this person for 10 years and they are constantly telling you that everything is temporary.

Deep down, they are really a Wannabe. In Los Angeles and New York City, where Shogo and I live, there are a ton of wannabe actors, wannabe producers, wannabe television artists…Hell, there are even wannabe wannabes.

Here’s how I feel about wannabes. I am really glad that you want to be something, I really am all about that and I support those who have high aspirations. But if you want to be something, you have to do the hard work. The problem is most wannabes are dreamers. They love talking about their dreams, and usually what they do is support themselves with talk from other wannabes.

Dating A Dreamer

They will sit around together on a Friday night and go, “You are the best actress in the whole wide world!” Then the other wannabe will say, “No, other wannabe friend, YOU are the best actress in the whole wide world!” They will basically mentally masturbate each other all night long making each other feel good.

Wannabes tend to get fired from jobs often because wannabes tell you that their current job is only temporary. Beware of the wannabe actress who is also the waiter. Here are some of the worst waiters you have ever encountered in your entire life.

I am all about dreaming big, I am all about creating a great life. Hell, I wanted to be a dating expert, and look what happened. But it’s because I am all about action. If you are a wannabe, you need to look and see how long you have wanted to be what you’re aspiring for, and check if you have even gotten anywhere even close.

You are only what you are right now, so put in the hard work to be the absolute best that you are.

Remember the good old days and how life was back in the 60′s, 70′s and 80′s? Things were done more on intuition. There wasn’t nearly as much information out there.

Nowadays you can get millions of different pieces of information and opinions about anything and everything, from how to get rid of a hangnail to how to raise a child — and have that at your fingertips in mere seconds. It used to be that if you wanted to know how to get rid of a hangnail, you would ask people you know how they have gotten rid of theirs. You used to learn how to raise a child by asking other people, and by using a lot of your own intuition.

Now with the Internet, you can always find somebody who will agree with you and your opinion on any topic. You can always find people who are on your side, and find stats that back it up.

The question nobody ever asks is from where these stats come. People assume if they see a statistic online, that is must just be true and accurate. People are funny that way.

Addicted To The Internet

If someone online says that 33% of people are healthier because they did x and y, most people just believe it. Nobody seems to dig deeper to find out the source of these statistics.

Maybe someone is just plain making it up. Maybe it is just a bunch of marketers manipulating data so you will believe in their product. Maybe it is just someone who is very opinionated and passionate about something, so they make up a statistic to validate it.

We used to be about instinct. Now we can’t even go to the bathroom without first looking on the Internet to find out the best way to do it.

Everything I teach you guys to do involves you learning to trust your instinct. It involves learning how to really understand yourself and trust yourself in every situation.

Life is really interesting. Friends of mine who had a kid got an iPhone App that allows them to check on their kid when they are away from home. These people don’t even trust anyone anymore. Why? They saw a story on television about nannies abusing kids which made them paranoid.

We have lost the innocence we used to have as a society because we don’t trust people like we used to in the past. We have come a long way in a lot of areas, but sometimes it is better to go back to your natural instinct and start trusting what resonates with you as a person.

That is what I teach. I teach you to trust your instinct and your gut, so you can live a fuller life as a less paranoid person who has not been affected by information overload.

In the beginning of the relationship, she does everything for you. Sh”s cool. You go out with your friends, she does’nt question it at all. No crazy texts. No psychotic e-mails. Nothing. You start falling for her. You think you’ve met the most incredible woman you’ve ever met in your entire life.

And then all of a sudden, she doesn’t get her way with something. And she starts using those female manipulation tactics. She starts questioning things that she was being so cool about at the beginning. All of a sudden now, she thinks you’re flirting on Facebook. Or she thinks those girls you just added as friends are women that you want to have sex with.

She actually is now trying to control your entire life. Control in a way that you don’t want to be controlled. But yet the sex is so great. She is cool most of the time, but all of a sudden you’re in this relationship with her and things are changing on a daily basis. You notice that if she doesn’t get her way, she becomes accusatory and she becomes downright mean at times. She starts using sex as a bargaining chip. She starts holding out for concert tickets, great dinners and other things. She starts talking about the future, but in that future you need to change some of the things that she was so excited about in the beginning.

You know what she’s doing guys? She’s a manipulative girlfriend. She’s a woman that basically loved you for whomever you were, but now decided that she really wants you a different way, and she will not quit until she gets her way.

Oh, she’ll make the sex great. You’ll take her to her favorite restaurant and she’ll give you the best blow job and the best sex you’ve ever had. But then she’ll take it away again the next time she doesn’t get her way.

I’m not into manipulative girlfriends. I’m not into girlfriends that try to control you and de-balls you. As far as I’m concerned, if she liked you from the beginning she should love you more where you’re at now.

Don’t be taken in by a manipulative girlfriend. Don’t be suckered in by some great sex. The bottom line is, if you’re with a manipulative woman, a woman that always wants her way, a woman that is devious and accusatory and jealous over things that don’t even exist, my suggestion to you is to run, to hide and get out of there fast.

I’ll tell you where you don’t go. You don’t go to a movie, you don’t sit there in silence, wondering what she’s thinking, who she is, and feeling all uncomfortable wondering what to say after the movie.

You don’t go and spend money on dinner. That’s right, you don’t sit there and chew food, exchange resumes, and basically talk at each other for two and a half hours.

You don’t spend money on a first date. The reason being is most first dates never pan out to second dates. So why should you invest your hard earned money in a woman that you may never ever see again? Guys, dating is like an investment. You want to pick and choose who you date, who you spend money on, and where you go.

My best first dates have always been activity dates. Miniature golf is great, bowling is a lot of fun, walking in the park is great, playing Frisbee is a lot of fun, rowing a boat across a lake or across a pond is a blast, going to a street fair, and sitting and just having a cup of coffee or having hot coco in the winter time. Simple things, so you can go, talk, and hang out and have no pressure.

Here’s the deal, if you like her you can plan the next date at the end of the first date. But the bottom line is stop spending your hard earned money, stop wasting your money on women you never ever see again. You don’t need to impress her with where you take her, you need to impress her with who you are.

One of my greatest dates I ever had was this woman was telling me how much she loved the sunset. So I took her to this great beach in Malibu. Malibu is about 15 minutes from my house, so maybe I was out $2.25 in gas to get her to and from there. Bought a bottle of wine because she liked wine, I spent $10 on the bottle of wine. We sat, we talked, we watched the waves break, we walked some more, we watched the sunset, and we had a fantastic time. It was a great date. It created a moment.

That’s what women are looking for, to create that moment. They’re looking to have something that they can go back to their friends and say this was a really different date. I’ve gone on hiking dates where it was a lot of fun, where we just talked and we hiked and we saw things, and it takes the pressure off sitting across the table. When you’re doing an activity date it takes all the pressure off of you having to sit there and analyze one another. Not only that, for women, dating is about an adventure. You want to create an adventure the first date. You might go hiking, you might take a walk on the beach, you might take a walk with your dogs. Second date you might grab some dinner at this cool little stand because now they’ve got great food trucks all over the place where you can sit, stand outside and eat. You’re creating a movie for them. You’re creating the moment.

So stop trying to impress on a date, and start having fun on a date.

How did it go?

Did you feel any spark or did the date feel more like an interview?

And the bigger question is do you want to see that person again or was it a one and done?

So many dates crash and burn due to a lack of really being able to let go and be yourself.

The one thing I always tell people is to make sure that the real you shows up.

What do I mean by the real you showing up?

If you really desire great dates check out today’s video.

Have a great Sunday and see you all tomorrow.

Check out how this guy decided to approach first date honesty.

How about if you could really just let go and be yourself on a first date.

Could you imagine doing what she just did.

Enjoy your Saturday and I hope these put a smile on your face.