As a man, you start getting annoyed because you made reservations, you took her to this nice restaurant, you spent money on movie tickets, or you ordered a nice bottle of wine. Or if you’re a woman, you’re sitting there and you’re just not having fun. The guy is just so boring, and you could be out with your girlfriends right now.

But really, so what if you don’t have chemistry? It doesn’t matter because this is somebody who’s also single and bored. This is another person to get to know, and networking is what it’s all about. Putting yourself out there and getting know people, even if it’s not your next boyfriend or girlfriend, is what it’s all about. It doesn’t matter that you don’t have chemistry, so don’t let it get your evening down.

It doesn’t really matter. What you’ve got to do in this situation is you’ve got to learn how to turn the bad date into the good date.

Look at it this way: if another person is sitting across from you, you’re stuck with that person for the evening. Your options are to either waste away the night and learn nothing and gain nothing—or you can make the most of it and get to know this person and see if it’s someone worth adding to your social network.

So don’t be an idiot, don’t be rude, don’t look at your watch over and over again just because you two aren’t clicking romantically. Don’t look down at your phone every five minutes and hope that someone texts you. Don’t leave the table and come back and make up some phony excuse to get out of there. Don’t be inconsiderate to your date just because you haven’t found the love of your life. Have a good time with that person. It’s the evening and you’re out having fun, so enjoy the moment and you’ll carry that good energy with you down the road. You’ll look back and actually be able to say to yourself that you had a good evening, a good weekend, and you know how to create a fun time.

First Date Nightmares

Then, at the end of your date, look at them and say, “Hey I really enjoyed this, I had a good time, but I don’t see you and I really going forward together. I just don’t think we have that chemistry, but you’re an interesting person and I’m sure we can network and make something happen with the people we know. You know what, I like to throw barbecues and dinner parties every now and then. Why don’t you get a few of your single friends, and I’ll get together a few of my single friends, and we’ll throw everyone together next weekend and see what happens!”

Now you’ve left having made a good impression, your ex-date will hype you up to their friends about how nice of a person you are, and they will all be incredibly eager to meet this great person they’ve been hearing about.

It’s all about the power of networking, and you never know what lies ahead for you down the road.

100 percent of the women are waiting for about
10 percent of the men to approach.

About 10 percent of the men in this world know how to successfully approach women naturally, 24/7, all the
time. The other 90 percent of men are battling some form of approach
anxiety, not knowing how to approach in certain situations.

How do I know this? I’ve been coaching guys for so long. I’m trying
to get guys to join me in the 10 percent because it’s fantastic to
live there, but the ratios don’t have to be that high. Women could
change that percentage if they just paid attention to their
surroundings a little bit more, made it easier for men to approach,
and made it easier for guys to talk to them. Smile, be friendly, drop
the cellphone or the smartphone and actually say hello to a guy
they’re attracted to. Things would change if women just made
themselves available. You have maybe about 40 percent of the guys
being able to handle it then. Meeting other people would be so much
better if women participated.

Most women don’t make themselves available at all. They expect the guy
to walk over there like some miracle worker, and break down the wall
that they’ve put up for that day. Most women refuse to come over and
say the right thing at the right moment even though women swear
they’re always in the moment. Really? I know you say that and I know
you want that, but you don’t make yourself available for the guy to
say hello to you in the first place. You can make it easy on the
men—you have all the power. It’s as simple as saying hello. I’d like
to be a woman for 24 hours, I’ll show you how many numbers I can get.
Men are easy. It’s easy to pull men over, it’s easy to flirt with
them, and it’s easy to make them feel comfortable and safe. Stop
waiting.

And the 10 percent of the men that already approach you, you
don’t trust them anyway! A lot of women don’t trust them because they
think they’re just players. They don’t trust it because the guy was
too slick—the guy said all the right things. So maybe 5 percent of the
10 percent actually get your phone number. Make it easy on us. Make it
easy on us, and it’ll be easy for you.

Being visual does not refer to what men find attractive, but rather how they become attracted to women. It means that you need to use your sexuality and your femininity to attract men.

A man will look at a woman many times — five, six, seven, ten, twelve times — and will not stop looking until a woman acknowledges him. A woman who knows and understands this, can easily get a man to approach by acknowledging him. It’s really very simple.

Say you see a man to whom you are attracted. You need to look directly at him and smile. If he notices you, then go back and smile at him again.

When you do this, the man will become very curious and wonder why you’re smiling at him over and over again. You need to encourage him to come over to you.

Understand that men are basically Scooby Doos on steroids. You’re the Scooby Snack, and you need to lay the crumbs down for men.

The crumbs are your smiles. The crumbs are a casual hello. Once a man spots a woman to whom he is attracted, you are able to go and lead him with your femininity and your smile to come over to you.

In order to really learn and understand this at a deeper level, though, you need to be observant about all your surroundings. You have to be able to look around at all your surroundings and know that men are looking at you all the time.

Most women are not observant. Most women walk into a place with their head in the clouds — on their BlackBerry or thinking about what’s on their “to do” list — and never notice men noticing them.

So one of the best things to do to learn how to be more observant is to go out in the field with a friend for a day. Have your friend be your “wing girl” for the day, with her job all day long being just to observe you and to notice all the men who are checking you out.

By doing that, and by having her point all these men out to you, you will see all the opportunities you are missing to meet men every single day. Most women have opportunities to meet men that present themselves all day long, but unfortunately they are almost never looking!

Women have been taught not to look. Men, on the other hand, are looking at women nonstop.

Men never stop looking for women. Men are always looking for women, talking about women and obsessing about women. That is how men are visual. So in order for you to become better at this, you need to learn to be more aware of your surroundings.

When I talk about using your femininity and your sexuality, I am not talking about being “slutty” or overtly coming on to men all day long. I am talking about sexuality and femininity that exudes from within.

For example, women who have a lot of masculine energy need to dress more sexy. Many women end up having very masculine energy about them due their careers. You need to feel sexy as a woman. You need to put yourself out there more. You need to really explore your feminine side.

Take a look at your body type. Take a look at the type of woman you are. Start looking through magazines that have women with similar body types to you in them. See how those women dress sexy. Go to a store and get a makeover. Find a way to express your sexuality and to feel sexy from within yourself.

Men are attracted to all body types and to all types of women. The key thing here, though, is that men are attracted to sexy women of all body types.

So women really need to explore that side of themselves more. Women need to learn to use their feminine energy and start flirting. The Scooby Doos out there will respond when you do.

I think if they dressed like that, though, then women would do all the approaching and it would defeat the purpose of the training! So onward into the late summer heat.

Have a great Saturday, and today let’s talk about something really hot…

Do men like women who like sports? Can men deal with women who can actually do better than them in their fantasy football league? Can a man sit there and be attracted to a woman with whom he debates stats about his beloved Red Sox, or fall in love with a fellow die-hard Jets or Lions fan?

The answer to that is yes, because misery loves company (especially if you’re a Cubs or a Lions fan). It’s nice to be among fellow fans. What men can’t stand, however, are women who pretend to like sports.

If I’m watching a football game, I really don’t want to hear “Wow, this is a really exciting 4th period.” A man hears that and he’ll say, “Really? You’ve had four periods in the span of this game? That’s a quick menstrual cycle.”

Another thing men can’t stand is when a woman watches a sporting event with you and is a cheerleader who shouts things like “Woo hoo! Go team go!”

You almost feel like she’s going to don the outfit and start breaking into the Marcia Brady “F-F-FIL-M-M-MOR–FILMOR HIGH!” cheer.

What’s worse is when you go to a baseball game with a woman and she asks you, “How long is this game going to last? Is it 4 periods like football?” It’s not that we don’t like you taking an interest, but all sports are different.

Basketball has quarters, hockey has periods and football has quarters. Isn’t it funny that hockey has periods since it is the bloodiest sport? So it’s the perfect analogy for hockey.

So if a man invites you to a game, don’t act like a cheerleader. Also, when a runner slides into second base and takes out the shortstop, don’t say “What a great tackle!”

We find your pretending to know everything about sports annoying, but we actually find your ignorance about sports adorable. When you ask your silly questions during a game, it makes us feel really mushy because we know we’re going to teach you to be that true sports fan.

Client: Let’s say you’re in a bar and your environment is somewhat limited. In this scene, I really can’t observe much to comment on.

I had trouble with that exercise yesterday – not so much coming up with something to talk about, but thinking that it might actually work – that it might generate enough interest to keep the conversation going. I always have major doubts in myself in terms of that, and in a bar, I can see that being a million times more difficult.

David: Yes, it’s magnified in a bar because there you have to manufacture a conversation. This is the reason that I don’t really like bars – you’re spending the entire time just trying to manufacture a conversation.

You have to be so quick in a bar to even open a woman. Khiem uses a certain thing in a bar when a woman bumps into him – he asks her what her name is. When she tells him, and says, “Alright, Judy, thanks, I just needed to know the name of the woman who was bruising me all night long!” He’ll just say something like that, being very playful, and just kind of push her away.

The reason why a lot of guys don’t like bars is because it is a limited environment and you really do have to manufacture things. The environment just doesn’t feel natural.

If I see a woman in a bar that is texting her friend, I might go up to her and say, “Would you stop texting me? I’m here! You can talk to me now!”

Or if I’m standing next to a woman and we’re both on our phones texting, I’ll say, “Let’s switch phones. Let’s text each other’s friends. It will be more fun that way!”

Or I’ll ask her for her name, and she’ll tell me that it’s Amy. “Hey Amy, let me borrow your phone for a second. Who am I texting?” She’ll tell me it’s her friend Susie. I’ll text: Hey Susie, it’s David, Amy’s new buddy. I decided to take over the texting tonight…

In a bar, you have to do things that are fun and playful – and that will work. You have to keep it light and playful the whole time. A lot of guys do that stupid opinion thing in a bar – “Who cheats more, men or women?” – but that’s the shit she’s heard a thousand times.

It’s much different when you say, “Listen, my buddy and I were debating this topic today….” Or “I read in the paper today about this… have you heard about it?”

Bring up something current rather than asking her opinion on something ridiculous and artificial. She’s heard all of that.

So even if the environment seems limited in a bar, you can bring things up in conversation from the rest of the world, which is unlimited. Doing this makes you look like you’re actually living in the day and not just manufacturing words and pick up lines.

I hate manufacturing conversations, so I don’t really like bars. You have to prepare yourself for the mindset of going out there and manufacturing conversation. But you also have to be fun and playful in a bar.

Client: So when you go up and do the “I read today in the paper” thing, do you think that in her head she’s immediately thinking that you’re hitting on her? Does she know that it’s just an opener?

I’ve said stuff like that before and had women ask me, “Is that really what you’re going to approach me with? Is that your best shot?”

David: In that case, I’d challenge her. I’d say, “So maybe it is – do you have anything better? If that was so bad, why don’t you coach me so that I’ll have a better chance of getting this right with the next woman I walk over to?” Say this with a smile on your face.

Challenging her in that situation is important.

Client: Yeah, I would have seen her reaction as a blow-off before yesterday and the work that we’ve done. I would have just given up and gone somewhere else.

David: No way, it’s not a blow-off. You just have to challenge her. What is she looking for in that situation? She’s not looking for some guy that is going to cave in. She’s looking for someone who will step up and challenge her.

One of the absolute best things you can do to make a guy want you more on a date, is at the end of the date to lean in toward him letting your lips touch his ear as you whisper “I had a great time tonight.” Then you walk away.

Let his eyes follow you as you leave. He will follow the shape of your body as you walk away, and you will leave him wanting more.

You didn’t kiss him on the lips. You didn’t kiss him on the cheek. You didn’t give him a hug or a handshake. You didn’t do anything except whisper in his ear.

Do you know why this works? It works because it clearly and unambiguously communicates exactly what you want to him, i.e., that you are interested in him (and in him wanting you) but in a way that doesn’t seem at all desperate.

Think about the alternatives. None of them achieve both these objectives. If you kiss him on the cheek, then he will immediately think you are putting him in the friend zone. If you kiss him just on the lips (and don’t involve at least a little bit of tongue), then is going to be wondering if you might just be friendly.

If you whisper in his ear, however, he will get so turned on that from that moment forward he will be just like a puppy dog coming after you. What happens when someone whispers in your ear – even if it’s to say “I’ll be right back” or “It’s so great to see you” or whatever it may be – it immediately makes you remember some great sex you had with someone who whispered certain things in your ear.

So this is one little trick you can use to not only fill a guy with desire for you, but which will get that guy to call you right away. Doing this will not in any way make a guy think you are going to sleep with him right at that moment. The only thing you will lead a guy to think when you do this is that you are one cool woman.

Are you wondering how I know this? I know this because every time a woman has ever done it to me, I couldn’t get my head out of the clouds for hours.