As a man, you start getting annoyed because you made reservations, you took her to this nice restaurant, you spent money on movie tickets, or you ordered a nice bottle of wine. Or if you’re a woman, you’re sitting there and you’re just not having fun. The guy is just so boring, and you could be out with your girlfriends right now.

But really, so what if you don’t have chemistry? It doesn’t matter because this is somebody who’s also single and bored. This is another person to get to know, and networking is what it’s all about. Putting yourself out there and getting know people, even if it’s not your next boyfriend or girlfriend, is what it’s all about. It doesn’t matter that you don’t have chemistry, so don’t let it get your evening down.

It doesn’t really matter. What you’ve got to do in this situation is you’ve got to learn how to turn the bad date into the good date.

Look at it this way: if another person is sitting across from you, you’re stuck with that person for the evening. Your options are to either waste away the night and learn nothing and gain nothing—or you can make the most of it and get to know this person and see if it’s someone worth adding to your social network.

So don’t be an idiot, don’t be rude, don’t look at your watch over and over again just because you two aren’t clicking romantically. Don’t look down at your phone every five minutes and hope that someone texts you. Don’t leave the table and come back and make up some phony excuse to get out of there. Don’t be inconsiderate to your date just because you haven’t found the love of your life. Have a good time with that person. It’s the evening and you’re out having fun, so enjoy the moment and you’ll carry that good energy with you down the road. You’ll look back and actually be able to say to yourself that you had a good evening, a good weekend, and you know how to create a fun time.

First Date Nightmares

Then, at the end of your date, look at them and say, “Hey I really enjoyed this, I had a good time, but I don’t see you and I really going forward together. I just don’t think we have that chemistry, but you’re an interesting person and I’m sure we can network and make something happen with the people we know. You know what, I like to throw barbecues and dinner parties every now and then. Why don’t you get a few of your single friends, and I’ll get together a few of my single friends, and we’ll throw everyone together next weekend and see what happens!”

Now you’ve left having made a good impression, your ex-date will hype you up to their friends about how nice of a person you are, and they will all be incredibly eager to meet this great person they’ve been hearing about.

It’s all about the power of networking, and you never know what lies ahead for you down the road.

The first thing to do when you walk into a room is to slow down. A lot of guys will walk into a room very quickly, hustling and making a beeline to the bar or the corner of a room. They somehow feel they need to get there really fast.

What I always tell guys to do is stop when they walk into a room. You frame whatever doorway there is, and if there’s not a doorway then you make a doorway around you.

You stop for two to three seconds, and you look around the room. You scan the room — look left, center, right, right, center, left — so you’re looking at the entire room. People naturally are always looking toward the entranceway of a party or bar to see who is walking in the room.

Not only do you do that, but when you walk in you also make sure you have really good posture. Make sure your shoulders are back and your chest is puffed out. Make sure you’re standing up straight and tall.

Body language is very important. So much of life is based on initial impressions.

So once you walk in a room and you command power (commanding power is standing upright and walking in), then you have to walk through that room slowly. You literally should strut through that room.

Walk through that room at a very slow pace, smile at a woman that you see – make that initial contact. Give her a look directly in her eyes, smile, and ask her “How are you doing tonight?” That’s it.

You can walk away right after you do that, because it is all about how you deliver that smile. If you deliver that smile very strongly — with conviction and with good body language — then she’s going to wonder who you are and will be very intrigued by you.

Next, go directly to your friends (or whoever else you are meeting) and have great body language when you talk to them. People noticed you when you walked into the room. You smiled at the woman and she smiled back at you, and you now have acknowledgment from all of the people who are around you.

When you go to talk to a friend, you make sure that you greet your friend in the same powerful way. Put your hand on his shoulder, shake his hand, look directly in his eyes, and have a very commanding presence.

So not only is body language important, but the speed of your walk is equally important. When you walk into a room slowly, you’re a commanding presence that people will notice. When you walk into a room quickly, you’re hustling into that room so fast that you’re basically just a blur.

You have to be a commanding presence. You may have the body language right, but you’ve got to get the walk right too.

Another important thing to remember is the right body language when you’re talking to a woman. When you are talking to a woman, you need to look directly at her. Your body needs to frame her body. This means that if you’re standing there in front of her, you have to face her directly so you’re mirroring each other.

It’s all in the way that you look at somebody. Once again, a strong, powerful man looks directly into someone’s eyes and shows them who the man is in that situation.

If you have any questions about body language, I suggest you go to YouTube and search for Bill Clinton videos. Bill Clinton has great body language when he speaks.

I know when I’m talking to a room of people, I’m talking to left, center, right. I’m looking directly into people’s eyes to make them feel like I’m connecting with them, which is what people are looking for every time.

Recently while I was with some clients, I told a woman a story I’ve told probably at least a thousand times (that’s why the story is so good!). The clients who were with me were shocked when they found this out, and said it seemed like I was telling the story for the first time.

I have such enthusiasm for my stories because I like them. I also know how people will react to them because I’ve told them before.

So how do you tell a great story; how do you tell a story like you’re telling it for the first time? Well, you have to start somewhere in order to learn how to do it.

Pick five or six things that come up over and over again in conversations, and then think of stories that relate to those things. It doesn’t matter what they are about, so long as you enjoy telling them and can do so with passion.

Practice your stories, so they are natural and easy for you to tell. I would suggest that you record all your stories, and then listen to yourself tell them.

As you listen, ask yourself whether you are interesting enough as you tell each story. If you are not, then go back and record them again. Keep listening to those stories over and over again, because those are the stories that are going to come out when you meet people.

Those amazing stories will be what attract women when you talk to them. They love to hear them.

A man who can tell a great story is very intriguing to women. It will show you as a man who is passionate about who he is. A woman will think that if you’re that passionate about yourself and your life, then you will be equally as passionate about her if you start hanging out together.

If you’re passionate about everything that you do – even down to little things like sniffing fruit passionately at the farmer’s market — then women are going to realize how passionate you are about all sorts of things. It’s about living with passion, and it all starts with your stories!

There are a bunch of guys that go around and teach the “you’re beautiful” opener or the “you’re really cute” opener. This opener is being taught to guys who want to authentic and real, and these poor guys are forced to go out and approach 40 women a day saying the same “you’re beautiful” line.

What kind of strategy is this? You could almost just stand in the town square walking around in a circle saying to person after person, “You’re beautiful! You’re beautiful! No, really, you ARE beautiful!”

It is about the most ridiculous line I’ve ever heard in my life. Keep in mind that regardless of how nice sounding the sentence is, it is still a line.

Keep in mind, too, that by saying this line out of the blue to a total stranger you are putting the woman completely on the spot. She may be insecure or not want to hear it . . . but she definitely knows you are bullshitting her. She absolutely does.

Another flaw in this whole “you’re beautiful” routine, is that you have no good means of follow up. So you say “You’re beautiful!” to a woman and she responds “Thank you.” Now what? You have nothing else to say because “thank you” gives you nothing to go on to create a conversation.

Canned lines and routines in general are ridiculous, but this particular one is really bad because all it achieves is to leave you standing next to a woman feeling uncomfortable. I had a client once who had tried this routine, and when I asked him how he felt afterwards he told me, “The conversation didn’t go very far and I had no choice but to abruptly end it. It felt embarrassing – from the first moment and I still felt bad afterwards. It’s not natural.”

Of course starting the conversation with a woman with “You’re beautiful!” is going to feel not natural. It’s an awkward way to start a conversation with a complete stranger.

Also, telling a woman she is beautiful the first moment you meet her isn’t helping you connect with her in any way, and isn’t giving you any information (or potential to create a connection with her.

The only connection you create with a woman by this routine is with her physical appearance. Women already know you like their physical appearance if you walked up to them! They’re not stupid. They know if we’re talking to them it’s because we’re intereseted.

Now, don’t mistake what I’m saying. Of course you need an “opener” when you approach a woman. If you are observant of what a woman is doing, and you are 100% confident and authentic about who you are, then you don’t need to use a canned opener. You will have the right opener every time, and women will chase you all day long.

If you want to learn how to authentically approach and attract women, without using canned routines and pickup lines, be sure to check out my “20 Ways To Meet Hotter Women Without Pickup Lines” product.

Do you know about the 80/20 rule in life? In life, 80% of the people fail and 20% of the people succeed.

These success percentages carry over into online dating as well. Do you know why? It is because most people don’t understand exactly what is needed to succeed in online dating. In particular, most guys don’t understand what is needed to succeed in online dating.

First, men who are successful online daters connect with women emotionally. Most guys don’t understand why that is important, and don’t know how to do it if they do.

What most men do is put some pictures up of themselves and then list things in their profile. They don’t create a story in their profile. You need to create some type of store to engender an emotional response in a woman.

For example, let’s say you are someone who has been on vacation in Italy. You could write in your profile, “I love Italy,” but so what? Who cares?

A lot of people would care if you wrote about it in the right way. They would care if you instead wrote this: “On my trip to Italy, I cruised up and down the Positano Coast. Let me tell you something. If you’ve never experienced a sunset in Positano, then you’ve never really experienced a sunset in your life.”

Do you see the difference? The difference is that you’re creating an emotion. You’re creating a feeling. You are creating something inside people that is going to get them really excited.

Another thing you need to realize about online dating is that is it really like a giant bar in the sky. Just because someone didn’t respond to you on Tuesday, September 22nd, doesn’t mean they’re not going to respond to you three weeks later. 

They could be dating somebody else, flirting with somebody else, or whatever it might be. So I always tell people to email someone again. The key with this, though, is what you write when you do it.

Don’t cut and paste your first email (or any other email message). Go into their profile. Walk into their life a little bit. Read through it — even read it out loud — until you have an “Aha!” moment and see something that really resonates with you.

Say their profile says, “I love running on the beach with my dog. The funny thing about it is that my dog runs around in circles, and sometimes I think he’s going to get dizzy and pass out.” You have that “aha!” moment because your dog does the same thing.

So you could write an email that has has the subject line, “Wondering what would happen if we ran around…” Then in the body of the email you would write, “…in circles like our dogs. It’s funny, but my dog does the same exact thing and sometimes I wonder how she doesn’t get dizzy. Remember when you were a kid and used to spin in circles until you got dizzy? Maybe we should try that with our dogs one time ”

What happened what that you related to her by sharing a story about your life that pertained to something in hers. That’s how you get better at online dating. You need to look at it as a conversation.

There’s so many women out there. Take advantage of that and find women with whom you can connect. It’s really important, though, to connect by relating in a a conversation.

Read every email response you get from a woman out loud so you can relate to it like you’re in a conversation with her. Form your responses by thinking how you would respond if she said it to you in a live conversation.

Online dating is really all about a conversation from the beginning. It’s no different than flirting in a bar, at a supermarket or anywhere else.

If you want to learn EVERYTHING about how to succeed at online dating — from how to create an online profile, interpret women’s profiles, how to contact women online, to EXACTLY what to say to intrigue them … as well as what specifically will attract the women online and get their attention, then be sure to check out my video product “Secrets Of Online Dating”

So many men are so obsessed about getting into a woman’s pants that they miss business opportunities all of the time. For instance, let’s say you’re trying to start your own business.

The key to starting a business is customers – if you don’t have customers, you won’t have a business. So, technically, every person you meet is a potential customer – maybe not today, but down the road.

Life is about investing. I look at life like the stock market.

Some stocks you buy, wanting them to pop in five minutes, and then you want to bail out. I look at those as like having a one-night stand. You buy this stock, it goes up $2, you get in and you get out. You get a little bit of a high and you’re done. That’s like getting laid that night.

Other stocks you buy because you know the value of the company. You know it’s undervalued at the moment, but you’re making an investment in the company for the future.

It’s the same thing that happens in dating. When you’re dating someone, you’re making an investment in the moment for the future. Everybody you meet has some type of potential for you down the road.

So here’s what you should do. Get the business card of everyone you meet, and on the back of each card write down the following three things: (1) Where you met them, (2) when you met them and (3) three personal things you learned about them (e.g., what they like to do).

Let’s say four years down the road you open up your own business. Every person you’ve met over the last four years now sits in a stack of business cards on your desk.

Open up a Gmail account and enter all of these people into your address book. For each person input their name, address, phone number, email and all the things you noted about them on the back of the business card. Then when you’re working 75 hours a week trying to build your business, you can write personalized emails to all those people you met.

You can write emails like, “Hey Joe, greet meeting you. Remember we met about four years ago in Georgetown? It was interesting, we had this great conversation about French wine and I actually went out and bought two bottles that you recommended. I never emailed you to say thank you, but here it is! Listen, I just opened up my own financial planning business, and I’m reaching out to everyone because this is a real passion of mine. Whether you’re looking to invest now or in the future, I’d love to keep you abreast of things. I’m writing a newsletter that I’d like to send out to you. If you’d ever like to talk investments with me, then let’s get together sometime.” Then end it with “your friend,” “truly,” “see you soon,” or something else very personal.

So what does this mean? It means that every day, you’re out there cultivating potential clients and dates. You might meet a potential client on a Wednesday, and he may lay $1 million on you Thursday (which is like getting laid right away). Another one might take ten years to get (which is more like a relationship).

Regardless, you cultivate them the same way. Every single person you meet has to go into your database.

Even the person who does hire you right away is an important relationship to cultivate and maintain, because you want to keep them coming back for more. It’s like great foreplay. If you please them and they come back for more, that means you’ve essentially f*^ked them really well and left them very satisfied.

You’ve given them really good foreplay. You’ve gotten to know them — their body and their mind. You’ve gotten them off, they loved it and now they’re back for more.

Life if about treating everyone well. Don’t do business with someone that you don’t like. I tell people that all of the time. That’s why I speak to people on the phone before I do business with them. I have to see if I like them. If I like them, I’ll want to work with them.

To me, it’s a relationship that can last forever. If you do business with friends, than it’s like it’s not really business. Friends trust friends. That’s really what it comes down to in the end.

This dating and sex analogy is a bit weird to think about at first, but it’s true. You just have to make everybody feel good.

Sexting is really all about escalating. I am not trying to sound like a pickup artist (as most of you well know!), but when you’re dirty texting back and forth you really want to take the woman on a journey.

Think of sexting like a road heading into the mountains. The road starts out nice and flat, but you want to test things out ahead of time. You want to make sure your tires are sound and that the brakes will work.

So to do that, you will send something very simple like, “I had a thought . . . ” If she takes the bait, she’ll text you back asking you what that thought was.

Then you can write, “Well, last night I had this dream about you . . .” When you do that, you’re testing a little bit to see if she goes for it. This is good, because if you really had a dream about someone, you would probably share it with that person in bursts (and not all at once).

You want to be able to take it slowly. Really, this is mental masturbation! If you can get her to mentally masturbate about the thought of you having sex with her, she’s going to want to sleep with you when you meet up. So you’re really just testing the road.

It’s also about being 100% in control. For instance, you can say something like, “Yeah, last night I learned about this new position, and it was really hot. So, how’s your trip to D.C.?”

It’s a giveaway-takeaway. You want to constantly give and take away from her.

The more you do that, the hotter she will become. You’re teasing her.

It’s really the same thing with sex. The guy who goes straight for the vagina and pounds away is not going to please the woman. The guy who massages, loves and cherishes the woman is the one who is going to get that woman totally hot.

It’s the same thing for sexting and for sex. Everything is about foreplay. Life is about foreplay.

To My Male Subscribers: CHECK YOUR EMAIL TODAY! I have put out a very special offer with a very BIG discount (along with the chance to get some FREE phone coaching). You are not going to want to miss this!

To my female subscribers, don’t worry. I didn’t forget about you. You should check your email inbox as well. I’ve got a surprise coming your way…

If you’re not on my subscriber list and want to get on it (so you can get in on these specials in the future), simply sign up in the box near the top of the page (for my “Naked Truth Dating Secrets” subscriber list).

Now you all know how I feel about nicknames, so I’ll encourage her to reveal at least her first name soon. I will tell you that she is a woman in her 30′s who lives in Los Angeles, and who thinks that ‘Sex And The City’ doesn’t pertain to Los Angeles (because, really, it’s more like ‘sex in the hills’ or ‘sex on the beach).

The Fiery Redhead really wants to help men and women meet people, so I’ve offered her the opportunity to be a guest poster on the blog. Plus, I’m sure you guys have to get sick of hearing from just me.

So you will be getting a different perspective from her about every couple weeks. I also thought it would be a cool to have a woman giving her perspective and helping the women and the men.

So let’s welcome our new guest blogger and enjoy her first blog today. It’s a great topic. So, without further ado, here she is…

Hey Guys and Girls,

You know, David asked me to start writing a little guest column because he figured why not have a female opinion every so often. And why not have one who really tells it like it is. That definitely describes me (as you’ll quickly discover).

I’ve got to tell you something.  The other day some girl friends and I were sitting around with some guys who were talking all about how to “close” a woman. You will never hear a woman say something like that.

You’ll never hear a woman say, “You know, we went on a boat trip the other day and met some really cute guys. My friend was flirting with one guy, but at the end of the day she ended up going home without closing him.”

No, she didn’t “close” him. She didn’t hook up with him. What is it with you guys having to “close” us? Why do you need to “close” us?

We’re not a door — you don’t need to close us. Really, if you close us it’s actually because we’ve determined that you were cool to hang out with so we want to go and bang you. I mean, that’s really what it comes down to.  We make that decision, not you.

I don’t understand it. Why don’t you just learn the way women are? If we like you and enjoy your company, and we give outward signs of that, then you don’t need to close us. You just need to go with the flow.

Why can’t guys just be a little more relaxed and a little cooler about things? You’d get laid so much more if you would just listen to the verbal clues. That’s all for my ranting and raving for this time. I’ll talk to you guys soon!

Okay, thanks again to the Fiery Redhead for this first post! To all of you, enjoy the last weekend of summer, because fall is here as of next week. Also, if any of you would like to know any of my football predictions, be sure to tune into the blog on Sunday. Why? Because I want to and it will be fun.

Now, since it’s the weekend and some of you go out to the bars, I thought this great video will help you out. It’s all about how to walk the walk and talk the talk to be able to successfully approach women in bars.

At 10:30 pm, you decide the place is lame and you go somewhere else. At midnight, the same guy every week says, “Dude, we have to go check out this other place. I heard it is great. My friend just texted me from there…”

It’s like Groundhog Day over and over again. You go home, and you’re always frustrated because you missed talking to the girl that got into the cab as you were walking over to talk to her.

In reality, what you’re doing is chasing the night. You’re miserable and not enjoying yourself, but you go back and do it again the next weekend.

While you’re doing this every weekend, other guys may be sitting around the house with some buddies having a great time barbecuing and drinking some wine. Others may have a great soul-searching weekend. Those guys come back on Monday feeling invigorated and alive.

There is a time when you really have to stop giving into your friend’s bullshit. You have to start saying that enough is enough.

When I was single, some of my best Friday nights included going out to dinner and being home by ten o’clock at night. I never cared about chasing the night. I’d be home at 10:00 pm so I could get up early the next morning and have an amazing Saturday meeting the kind of women I really wanted to meet and doing things I loved to do.

When you finally break up with your friends and stop buying into their bullshit, then you’ll know you really didn’t miss a thing when you get that day after call saying, “Dude, you should have been there!” So start breaking up with your friends and start becoming an independent, free thinker!

I used to be the guy who would go out and get validated by sleeping with women. I used to be the guy who would go out with a bunch of guys every Friday night to cruise bars, try to meet hot women, and try to get as many women’s phone numbers as possible.

I used to be that guy trying to do all that stuff — going from bar to bar and place to place — looking for the best night I could possibly have. I used to be that guy who would actually go home with girls to whom I wasn’t even all that attracted. I mean, they might be okay or kind of a cool girl . . . but they weren’t who I wanted.

The women I really wanted always had left the bar two hours before, but my ego needed validation so I’d be with women I didn’t really want just to be “that guy” who could get women to all my friends. I had to prove to them that I was the guy who could pick up women.

My ego needed that validation. I used to be that guy. I remember being that guy in my 20s.  

I recently had a great coaching session with a guy in his 20s, and we were talking about this very subject. As we were talking and reminiscing, I found myself being amazed thinking about how many women I would have actually connected with if I knew then what I know now.

I would have connected with women on much deeper levels and would have had much better connections with them. I would have met women I wanted to meet, instead of allowing my ego to dictate with which women I’d have sex or ask out on a date.

Back then it didn’t matter to me about the kind of connections I was having as long as my ego was getting validated. As long as I got validated by women, I was able to connect and hook up with women.

A lot of guys are like that. I used to be like that. I used to be that guy. That’s why I totally understand what all you guys are going through and what you really want.

You don’t need to have constant validation, because truly connecting with women is one of the most unbelievable and amazing things you can do. A lot of guys don’t understand that until they get older.

What is so great about coaching you guys and really getting inside your mindset is that I understand where you want to be. I’m so jealous and wish I could be in this mindset I’m teaching you when I was younger, although it’s so great to be able to help you and see all of you get there now.

I used to be you. Now I can help you become the most powerful version of you.