Oh wait…wrong holiday.

This is it: Over the river and through the woods; To grandmother’s house we go!

Who wrote that annoying song anyway?

So today, one day before you are attacked by the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, where they all are going to ask you this one big question:

Why are you still single? How come you didn’t bring anyone to Thanksgiving dinner?

So instead of the usual defensive mode you go into, I have a solution for you.

Today’s podcast will give you the exact reason why you are single this Thanksgiving.

Your answer to Granny, Mom and Dad, friends, and co workers, lies in today’s special holiday bonus one hour podcast.

It’s time to understand the importance of your journey. It’s time to embrace how how being single is the way to go.

And one last thing: Do not let Mom, Aunt Susie, or Grandma set you up on a date. They have no clue what you like in another person, and they did not listen to this podcast to understand why you are single and what you are looking for.

Ok…not the end of the world. Nor the end of the day.

But the end of the year.

So I took a long walk along the beach and thought about this:

How many of you had the year that you expected?

How many of you were able to create that incredible dating life this year that you know deep down inside that you could have?

And now how many of you are already thinking about next year and how next year will be different than this year?

All of you need to sit yourselves down in a room and listen to today’s podcast. I am about to share with you some hard facts and wake you up to what reality is really all about.

“David, that’s my 3:30, man. He’s going to tell me he’s stuck in traffic.”

He picked up the phone. Sure enough, it was his 3:30 appointment. The guy was stuck in traffic.

10 minutes later, the phone rang again. He looks at the caller ID, he goes, “Oh this chick, Sharon, she always cancels on me last minute. I’ll bet you she’s going to cancel.”

Sure enough, she was calling to cancel the appointment. He looked at me and he said, “David, do these people actually think we’re buying their excuses? Do these people think that we were born yesterday?”

That got me thinking: the older you get, the more you’ve seen, the more you’ve experienced and the more you realize there’s so much bullshit going on out there. You know the only reason why people are late is because they didn’t leave early enough. That’s the only reason why I’m ever late.

Do You Date Late

My entire life, the reason why I’ve ever been late to any appointment is because I did not leave early enough. If I just left five minutes earlier, if I just didn’t try to squeeze in one more e-mail in or take one more phone call, I would have arrived on time. So when I give somebody an excuse like it’s traffic, or there was a line at the grocery store, or whatever the excuse is, it’s bullshit.

The reason I was late is because I didn’t leave early enough, which really comes down to what I’m talking about here in today’s blog. Look at the bullshit you throw out there every single day. Look at all the bullshit you throw out there. People aren’t really buying it. You may think they’re buying it, or you may want to believe they’re buying it, but in reality they’re not. So why not be a little more honest?

“Hey Mr. Barber, you know, the reason why I’m late today is because I didn’t leave home early enough. You see I didn’t respect your time as much as I should have, and because I didn’t respect your time, I’m arriving late. And because I’m arriving late, all your other appointments for the day behind me are going to be late.”

Doctors should know all about this. Go to a doctor’s office and the doctor will tell you, “Oh sorry for being late, it’s just that I had this call I had to be on.” It’s bullshit. The reason why doctors are late is because their patients show up late for their appointments too.

Shogo was supposed to edit this blog and send it to me 2 hours ago. Where were you Shogo? On a client call? Bullshit.

I like to be more mysterious, because I know that’s what will drive the women to really want me.

You guys remember Intern Dan’s blog about nice guys. You can be nice, no problem at all, but you’ve got to be great. You’ve got to be a guy who doesn’t act like Mr. Accommodating all the time. Those are the things you don’t want to do.

Don’t go out on certain dates if you don’t want to do, just because you think your date wants to. Don’t go hiking if you hate hiking. That’s simply a misconception that so many of us have throughout our entire lives. You become Mr. Accommodating, or even for women, Mrs. Accommodating.

Somebody tells you something that they’d like to do—something that you actually don’t want to do at all—but you do it anyway. And it’s a behavior pattern that you probably have done your entire life. Your friends want to go out on a Friday night, you’re not in the mood to go to a night club at all, but you go anyway. And then, because you acted so agreeable, you stand there in the corner all upset and wondering when you’re going to go home, and you just stand there wishing you drove your own car so you could leave. Or your friends start drinking in the afternoon, you’re not in the mood to drink, but you do it anyway because you don’t want to be left out.

Here’s the deal: If someone says something to you that you do not want to do, then you need to stand up for yourself. Say you’re on a date and your date says to you, “God, I’m a staunch Republican and I hate Obama.” If you love Obama, you need to stand up for it. Don’t give somebody an image of you that’s entirely wrong. Don’t be people’s doormat.

The reason you’re not driving women to really want you more is because you’re acting like her doormat. Women are not interested in having sex with doormats. But they are interested in being challenged, emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Start with standing up to your friends first. The next time your friends want you to go out with them somewhere you don’t want to go, tell them, “Hey, I want to pass on this one, let’s come up with a better idea.” Or better yet, let them do what they want while you stay home.

It’s time you started being less accommodating to others and more of an individual.

Have you ever dated for revenge?

Have you ever gone out and just decided I’m going to go out there and I’m going to screw over as many people as I possibly can.

I’m going to sleep with people, I’m going to hurt them, I’m going to lie, I’m going to cheat, I’m going to steal. No I’m not talking about the Massachusetts man that hustled $200,000 off of women recently online.

I’m talking about revenge daters.

If you’re a revenge dater, we’re going to talk about it in today’s Podcast.

How about if you have some type of sexually transmitted disease and you think it’s okay to share it with a lot of people.

We’re going to talk about my feelings on that too in today’s Podcast.

Click Here To Download Today’s Podcast!

No, not somebody who orders eggs and hash browns at the diner, takes them home, and then rehashes them the next morning.

The other rehashing.

Are you somebody who will go out on a date-maybe a few dates-and then if it suddenly fizzles out with him or her, you’ll go and drive your friends crazy for the next two weeks reliving and replaying every single moment of those dates. You want to rehash every moment: “If I just said this…” “If I just did that…” “If he just reacted to me this way…” “It was over all because I didn’t react that way, that’s the reason why we’re not going out again!”

Dating And Complaining

All that rehashing is ridiculous. It’s not the one thing you did or didn’t do that killed it. It’s a combination of things. It’s energy. It’s chemistry. There’s so much more involved than just one stupid little thing you could’ve done better. Usually nothing you could have done would have saved the situation anyway.

So if you’re driving your friends crazy rehashing your last failed date or relationship 24/7 over something that you think might have gone wrong—you’re 100% wrong in that. Because what really went wrong is that you didn’t have the chemistry with that person. Maybe life at that moment was throwing you a curve ball. Maybe your date had things going on in his or her life. Maybe you had things going on in yours.

It’s never, ever just one thing. It’s not one thing that you said on that date that turned the whole thing around and killed the date momentum. It’s not one thing that made your date not want you or desire you or want to be with you. So stop rehashing the past, and start smoking all the hash that you want.

Really enjoy it.

So many words that are so powerful, but yet there are words that need to be eliminated.

Here’s the one three-letter word that needs to be eliminated in every single person’s vocabulary — are you ready?

“But.”

That’s lip service, man. I am so sick of hearing that. Hey, go talk to that woman… But, I can’t right now. Hey, man, I want you to go out and get a date this week. But, I can’t. Hey, I want you to go to the gym right now and go lose some weight. But is such an excuse.

Get Your Butt Out Of Dating

Don’t ever use the word but for anything. There is no but anywhere except for the butt that you sit on. But is basically you quitting before you even started. Eliminate it and you’ll see how much easier life is for you.

You know, the other day a reader named Jen posted on the blog asking how she can recognize the shy guy who is too timid to approach to get him over to come approach her.

Sure, women who are not often approached can work on their appearance and work on making themselves more approachable by smiling more wherever they are, getting rid of the ipod in public, making more eye contact with men they’re interested in at bars, etc.

But even for women who do get approached often, do you ever find you’re just not getting approached by the kind of guys who you want to approach you? There’s another even better step you can take: ladies, you can approach the fellas too!

How To Meet Men

I know plenty of guys who are great catches, in reality they are take-charge kind of men, just the kind of guys you would like to meet, but they will never approach you in a public place. Why? Because it’s just not a part of their social norm to meet and get to know people in a random public place. So in turn they don’t do it—not because they don’t want to talk to you, just because it’s something they’ve never thought of doing before. This is especially true with a lot of European men.

I also know many men who just don’t approach women even in a bar or club setting, or at a party—places where most people would approach—because they’ve never learned how to, or they have a bit of social anxiety (we all do to some extent), or because they just haven’t built up the confidence to go after what they want. Doesn’t mean they’re not great guys—in fact, for a lot of women out there the shyer introspective guys are actually more attractive and a better match for them than the dominant fearless types. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about.

So how do you do this? Very simple. Just like we teach men how to start a conversation with women: you make an observation based on what’s going on in the moment around you, and you say that observation to the guy. There’s a benefit to this, too: because women are far less threatening than men, and men are pretty dumb and unassuming, you can say pretty much anything you want and it won’t look like you’re “picking him up”!

Here’s the best way to start a conversation with a man: ask him a question, or tell him you need help with something. He’ll love the fact that he’s coming to the rescue and be so proud that he was able to help you out.

Ask a guy for directions somewhere, or tell him you’re looking for a nice restaurant or place to shop in the area and ask if he knows of any.

If you’re sitting at a restaurant, ask the guys sitting at the table next to you what they’re eating. Tell him you’re not sure what to order and his food looks good. He’ll tell you all about it and help you out with the menu just because guys love to be the guy who comes to the rescue.

If you’re standing by the bar ordering a drink, you can say something as simple as, “What are you drinking? That looks interesting.”

If you’re standing by the subway or waiting for the train and a guy is reading a book, ask him what book he’s reading, or tell him the cover looks interesting. Just yesterday I was waiting for the metro in Washington, DC, I saw a woman ask a man what he was reading, and they talked all the way into the subway car and beyond.

Right now you may be thinking, “Geez, won’t it appear like I’m completely desperate or being way too forward?” The answer to that is no. It won’t appear like you’re doing anything other than striking up a friendly conversation.

This isn’t the 1950’s anymore. You can do and say whatever you want to a man, there are no rules in dating and the single life. In fact, I have more than a few girlfriends who get approached by men all the time, but the men who they usually end up with (and ones they’re happiest with) are the ones who they actively decided to introduce themselves to and go talk to first. The reality is that most men would be flattered, and many of them relieved, to see that you actually took the initiative and got up the courage to talk to them!

Now fellas, this doesn’t mean that you’re off the hook. A man should NEVER use the excuse of, “Well, if she was interested in me she would approach me.” The women you want won’t just fall into your lap. You have to put yourself out there and go after what you want with complete vulnerability and honesty. That’s the only way you’re going to get good at this. Staying in your comfort zone and standing around waiting for the women to approach you is the worst thing you can possibly do.

Are you afraid of hard work? I want you to think for a second about all the things you have in your life.

How did you get them? Did you work hard for them, or were they handed to you?

Now what I want you to do is think about all the things you want. Next I want you to write down all of the excuses you have for why you don’t have those things in your life.

What are your excuses? Be really honest and write them down.

Let me tell you something. I work my ass off every day. I may not work many hours some days, but when I work I am 100% focused on my work.

I don’t pick up the phone and chit chat with a friend. I don’t have IM sessions or text sessions with anyone. I don’t talk to my friends via email.

What I do when I work is dial in completely to my work. The reason why I do that is because when you work really really hard, great things happen to you.

Do you know what annoys me the most, and where I am going with this blog? I’m glad you asked.

What annoys me the most is when someone emails me — not respecting my time or looking for real help via one of my products or wanting to really learn — and send me an email just like this one below.

“Give me a line I can say to a woman in these specific situations.”

They don’t say, “Hey David” and ask me a question. They don’t even sign their name. They do this, and they wonder why they’re lacking in social skills and can’t meet people?

I can tell you why they can’t meet people. It’s because if they could, they would know to start their email and write their email to me something more like this:

Hey David,

I know you’re a really busy person and I know you may or may not answer this. I’m not sure if you have a product about this, but I thought I’d see if you could take a moment and answer this question: Is there a line I can use in any situation to help me out in talking to women?

Thanks in advance,

Tom

An email like that I’ll actually read. That’s an email written by a person who actually has social skills.

The email I received is written by a barbarian. That person may as well get a club and hit a girl over the head to get her attention, because the way they behave is just like a caveman.

Magic Pill In Dating

Here’s the bottom line: There is no shortcut to anything in life.

If you want anything in life, you have to work hard for it. You need to work your ass off and you’ve got to play hard.

I hate to say it, but hard work equals rewards. If you work hard and you work smart, you’ll actually have a hell of a lot more free time than you ever imagined.

If you want to know that secret, you’ll wait for a different blog. In the meantime, work your tail off and stop buying into all your excuses.

100 percent of the women are waiting for about
10 percent of the men to approach.

About 10 percent of the men in this world know how to successfully approach women naturally, 24/7, all the
time. The other 90 percent of men are battling some form of approach
anxiety, not knowing how to approach in certain situations.

How do I know this? I’ve been coaching guys for so long. I’m trying
to get guys to join me in the 10 percent because it’s fantastic to
live there, but the ratios don’t have to be that high. Women could
change that percentage if they just paid attention to their
surroundings a little bit more, made it easier for men to approach,
and made it easier for guys to talk to them. Smile, be friendly, drop
the cellphone or the smartphone and actually say hello to a guy
they’re attracted to. Things would change if women just made
themselves available. You have maybe about 40 percent of the guys
being able to handle it then. Meeting other people would be so much
better if women participated.

Most women don’t make themselves available at all. They expect the guy
to walk over there like some miracle worker, and break down the wall
that they’ve put up for that day. Most women refuse to come over and
say the right thing at the right moment even though women swear
they’re always in the moment. Really? I know you say that and I know
you want that, but you don’t make yourself available for the guy to
say hello to you in the first place. You can make it easy on the
men—you have all the power. It’s as simple as saying hello. I’d like
to be a woman for 24 hours, I’ll show you how many numbers I can get.
Men are easy. It’s easy to pull men over, it’s easy to flirt with
them, and it’s easy to make them feel comfortable and safe. Stop
waiting.

And the 10 percent of the men that already approach you, you
don’t trust them anyway! A lot of women don’t trust them because they
think they’re just players. They don’t trust it because the guy was
too slick—the guy said all the right things. So maybe 5 percent of the
10 percent actually get your phone number. Make it easy on us. Make it
easy on us, and it’ll be easy for you.