A while ago I came up with this really fun exercise. I told my client to use the alien approach. For those of you that have no idea what the alien approach is, it’s very simple. You take a full day and pretend like you were just beamed onto the earth for 24 hours.

How would you act?

First off, okay, you’d be in a weird body because you’re used to having lizard guts, eyes that can light a fire, and long, bony, metallic hands. Now you’re in a human body for the very first time and you find that very peculiar.

So what would you do for that one day? Well, first, you’d go around and you’d look at people. You’d survey things, you’d observe all day, you’d wonder what people are feeling, what they were doing. You’d be curious about everything that these people were doing–hell, if somebody ordered a turkey sandwich, you’d be so curious because you’ve never had turkey before. So you could ask if that turkey stuff is any good.

On top of all that, you’d have enthusiasm for everything around you because basically you are brand new to this planet, never having been here before, never experiencing it before. Never even knowing what anything is. You’d be curious about the world around you.
Not only that, you’d want to talk to as many people as possible because you’d want to find out what the human race is all about. And you’d be reporting back to the king or queen alien so you’d be required to give them a full report.

You’d spend the entire day being hyper-sensitive to the world around you. You wouldn’t worry about your alien phone, or your “a-phone”. You wouldn’t worry about reading and sending out texts, e-mails, checking your Facebook, nothing like that.

All you’d worry about is trying to figure out the human race – meeting people, talking to people, being curious about people and things.

Here’s a deal for all of you who have trouble meeting people: go out there and use the alien exercise. Pretend you were beamed down to earth from another planet for the day. Pretend like you’ve never been on Earth before. And do everything that I wrote about above. Have enthusiasm, ask questions, respond to people. You’re an alien, so you want to gather as much information as you possibly can before you’re beamed back to your stratosphere.

One of the things I always say to the checkout people when they ask you if you want paper or plastic, I always tell them, “No, no paper, no plastic. I’m just going to carry everything out in my hands.”
I like to see if they’re paying attention.

So today, the checkout woman didn’t ask me if I wanted paper or plastic. She asked, “Is plastic okay?” I replied that plastic is fine.
She goes, “Would you like any utensils with your food?”

I said, “No, I’m just going to eat it all in the car on the way home.” She was on such autopilot that what I said didn’t even register with her. I looked at her and said, “I’m only kidding, you know?”

She looked at me, raised an eyebrow, and goes, “I got it.”

What’s really funny about people, especially people at registers like the check-out person at the grocery store, is they’re always on autopilot. They’re constantly going,

“Paper or plastic? Would you like any utensils? Debit or credit?”

It’s like they don’t even acknowledge that a real person is in front of them. They’re just so caught up in work mode, automatic mind set mode, whatever they’re doing just to get through their day.

So a really great exercise for you guys to do is to snap people out of that automatic mode. Snap them out of the boring routine of the day and get them to interact with a real person. Snap them out of that moment with a joke and then smile and laugh.

What happens is you’ll get other people around you to start talking to you too. This woman laughed and started talking to me right as I was paying and said, “God, I thought you really were going to eat it all on the way home!”

She played in on the whole joke and we had a fun laugh together.

These are all great opportunities for you guys to really go and transition into other conversations, plus you get to snap people out of their boring, monotonous daytime routines and actually give them some fun and engaging conversation, as well.

No, not somebody who orders eggs and hash browns at the diner, takes them home, and then rehashes them the next morning.

The other rehashing.

Are you somebody who will go out on a date—maybe a few dates—and then if it suddenly fizzles out with him or her, you’ll go and drive your friends crazy for the next two weeks reliving and replaying every single moment of those dates. You want to rehash every moment: “If I just said this…” “If I just did that…” “If he just reacted to me this way…” “It was over all because I didn’t react that way, that’s the reason why we’re not going out again!”

All that rehashing is ridiculous. It’s not the one thing you did or didn’t do that killed it. It’s a combination of things. It’s energy. It’s chemistry. There’s so much more involved than just one stupid little thing you could’ve done better. Usually nothing you could have done would have saved the situation anyway.

So if you’re driving your friends crazy rehashing your last failed date or relationship 24/7 over something that you think might have gone wrong—you’re 100% wrong in that. Because what really went wrong is that you didn’t have the chemistry with that person. Maybe life at that moment was throwing you a curve ball. Maybe your date had things going on in his or her life. Maybe you had things going on in yours.

It’s never, ever just one thing. It’s not one thing that you said on that date that turned the whole thing around and killed the date momentum. It’s not one thing that made your date not want you or desire you or want to be with you. So stop rehashing the past, and start smoking all the hash that you want.

But last week I was lucky enough to get free tickets to an amazing new show called “Iris.” Iris is the new production from Cirque Du Soleil. If you haven’t seen anything by Cirque Du Soleil yet, it’s probably going to be one of the best shows you’ll ever see.

I’ve been lucky enough to see about six of these shows, and every time I see them they never fail to amaze me. For those of you guys who aren’t familiar, Cirque Du Soleil is well-known for its contortionists putting their bodies into all different types of acrobatic poses and motions.

It’s just a classy show all around. But what I really appreciate the most about this show is the sheer amazing, eye-popping acrobatics that the performers do with their bodies. If you watch the performers very carefully when they’re going into these crazy performances, you’ll see them hand-holding each other from trapezes, bodies interlocked, curling up in the air, catching each other on the ground, forming human pyramids, all sorts of amazing stunts.

Not one time will you ever see them sweat, blink, or behave like it’s a hard act to pull off. They make such an art form of portraying the human body as weightless, and it’s such an amazing and beautiful thing to see.

Not only that, attending a Cirque Du Soleil show is one of my favorite activities in the entire world because it’s very sexual. It’s a very physical show with a lot of focus on the sensual movements of the human body. You get to admire the beauty of all those bodies on stage. Each little segment takes you through a different journey of pushing the human spirit, and how much more you can push it, and how much better.

I really suggest you guys check out the show Iris, one of the best shows I’ve ever seen. Best of all, it’s something that you’ll enjoy because it makes a great, great date that will give you plenty points of conversation to discuss after the show.

Think about this: 95 percent of first dates never materialize, never ever get past the first date. Most first dates are one and doners. It’s not that you’re not going to like the person. It’s just that in order to have real chemistry, it takes a lot of dates to find that. Some of us get lucky, meet one person — haven’t met a person in awhile, meet somebody, go on a date, and end up in a relationship. That’s one of the rare cases. But most first dates tend to crash and burn. And the reason why is because of the jitters.

Here’s the deal: If you go into a date really nervous thinking about what to say, how you’re going to act, then you’re just not going to be yourself, and that’s what you need to present: Yourself, a good, strong positive, amazing side of yourself. Don’t talk about exes. Don’t talk about things you don’t like. Talk about all things that you like. Talk about your dreams, and more importantly: Have fun. Here’s the deal: In terms of what you say or what you do, they’re either going to like you or they’re not going to like you. It’s not one statement that’s going to sway them in one direction or another. It’s not the place you pick out that’s going to sway them one way of the other.

Well, then again, unless you take them to McDonald’s for a first date. Then you might sway them never to come with you again, never to hang with you again. But in reality it’s all about just having a good time. Get rid of the first-date jitters. If you still have them, if you’re still so anxious to have sex with someone you’re meeting — remember the movie “Something about Mary?” — you can whack off before the date.

“My ex just texted me…look at this text.”

“Oh, that totally reminds me of this time I was with my ex…”

Is the topic of talking about exes a big no-no for you? Does it make you feel uncomfortable?

Have you ever had a bad date where your date would not stop talking about their ex? Do you feel like you wasted the evening over a bad conversation? Even worse, is this a recurring problem in your dating life that’s preventing you from getting anywhere past the first date?

Here’s an email I got from a reader that I’d like to share with you today:

Dear David,

First of all I’d like to say how much I enjoy your products, and advice, that being said….here comes the question:

What do you do when you’re on a first date, and the woman will not stop talking about her Ex?, be it ex husband, or boyfriend, it doesn’t matter…. I mean I make great money, and don’t mind paying for drinks, and such, but my question is how do I stop this? I’ve tried changing the subject, acting uninterested, playing with my BlackBerry, and even asking them to stop, usually at that point, the date is over very soon. I’ll ask for the check, and drive them home, never to call them again. No, this doesn’t happen all the time, but I’d say 50% of the time. If she mentions the ex, or even discusses them a little, that’s ok, but the entire date?? One woman actually showed me a picture of her ex boyfriend!!!! The date was over.

What would David Wygant do?

Thank you,

Larry

I Love My Ex

So why is this happening to you? And what can you do about it?

Click below and listen to today’s podcast as Shogo and I dig in and tell you exactly what’s going on and what you can do to take control and start enjoying your date conversations!

Click Here To Download Today’s Podcast!

We’re sitting in Egoscue, and I’m working on my back….by the way, it’s feeling much
better. Anyway, she was describing her date from the other night. She
went out with this guy-now listen up, okay, because this is going to
blow you away. This guy was fascinating, interesting, ex-lawyer, a
big-time movie guy. He had a degree in economics, traveled the world,
and studied with monks—one of the most fascinating men in the entire
world. Spoke four languages—daughter was a valedictorian at Yale. I
mean everything was perfect. He talked, and talked, and talked, and
bragged, and talked, and bragged, and talked, and impressed, and then
talked. He was entertaining as can be, but he was what we call the “B”
for bragger.

Granted, she was fascinated by him, but after three and a half hours,
she wanted to go home, crawl into a ball, and go to sleep because she
was so exhausted by him. Only once during the whole three-and-a-half
hour marathon bragging session did he ask her one question about
herself. He said, “So tell me, why did you get divorced?” That was it.
Nothing else about it.

Gentlemen, learn from this experience. Bragging about your
accomplishments, bragging about what you have, bragging about your
kids, bragging about your children’s accomplishments, bragging about
everything about you and not being interested in her is basically
going to send you home to another night at staring at the ceiling,
whittling your own thumbs, and tickling your own nut case. You
basically are a “B” for bragger. “B” guys that basically just brag
about all their accomplishments, and think women are going to be
impressed by it. But in reality, they’re bored by it.

They want to be engaged. That’s not the way to go out on a date. A
date is 50-50. Fifty percent of the time you talk. Fifty percent of
the time they listen. You learn about them half the time, and they
learn about you the other half. It’s not 100 percent bragging about
who you are.

To top it off, this guy was so impressed with what he’s done that he
brought along a documentary about himself, so she could go home and
watch. Isn’t that wonderful? And he’s probably one of those guys that
thinks he had a fantastic date, one of the best dates he’s had in a
long time. Wake up gentlemen. It’s a date.

So when we walked into Sears, I told him to watch and learn just how playful you can really be.

So when I walked into Sears, Passion Optical, ready for my glasses to be done with repairs. I walked in, and this woman behind the counter says to me, she goes, “Are you here for a pick-up?”

I said “Absolutely, I’m here for a pick-up.” She goes, “What’s your name?”

“No, I’m here to pick you up,” I replied.

Then all of a sudden she realizes what’s going on. Little did she know the ulterior motives I had with my client watching but when I said so, she came crawling back, talked with me even more, and was cracking up the entire time.

Think about all the times you go and you pick up something at a business.

How To Meet Women At Sears

In a restaurant, you walk in and they go, “What are you here for?” “I’m here for a pick-up.” And they go, “What’s your name?” “No-no-no-no, no. I’m here to pick you up. I didn’t order any food. You asked me if I was here for a pick-up. Absolutely, I told you, I am here for a pick-up.”

Think about how much more fun you have and think about how creative that is. It’s about being goofy, having fun, and really just admitting why you’re even there in the first place.

So the next time you go to a restaurant and they ask you if you’re here for what you’re here for, just tell her you’re here for a pick-up, and then they’ll wonder what name. Just don’t fumble it, and get your own name wrong!

Do your friends make fun of your physical imperfections? Well, maybe it’s time for you to find some new friends. Or MAYBE it’s all just in your head….

In keeping with our new found tradition of answering all of your best questions on Podcast Wednesday, today’s podcast takes on over-sized lips, bald-spot paranoia, small breast insecurities, whether it’s time for you to find new friends, and jumbles it all up into one big mixed-race dating blender!

And as far as dating goes… It’s all about dating and mixing all the great things in that giant blender.

The Ultimate Lips For Sex

The giant blender is your dating life!

Check out what I think about mixed race dating, over sized lips and why bald spots are a huge turn-on.

Click Here To Download Today’s Podcast!

Now before you jam my in-box with emails for next week. I want to set the record straight.

If you want your email to be the one that is turned into the podcast, it would make my life easier if you posted on the blog.

That way everyone can see the posting and get involved in the conversation as well.

Here is today’s winning email.

“I have been listening to your podcasts and I wanted to bring up something that has hurt my dating life for years. I was raised by a overprotective mother and I was a chunky little girl as a child with very little fashion sense. I didn’t know how to talk back to people and defend myself and I was subsequently harrassed and bullied for much of my childhood up to high school. Safe to say that this took a huge toll on my self esteem and self image. Much of the problem today stems from the fact that the ones who teased me the most were the handsome jock types. While I find these men very attractive today I have the hardest time making eye contact with them. If I see a attractive man walking towards me it takes a extreme amount of will power and mental proding to look at them and attempt to smile. I know this is a defense mechanism from when I wanted to avoid the bullies attention when I was little but this has stuck with me today and it is extremely hard to stop doing it.

I am almost 27 now and in better physical shape than when I was 16, I figure skate and attend regular exercise classes but I still have a hard time thinking that I am attractive. I can still hear the bullies voices in my head sometimes and it is extremely difficult to overcome. I know I am much older and have a very thick skin because of my childhood but after awhile the behavior of looking away became so ingrained I don’t know if I will really ever get rid of it. I know body language is extremely important when trying to talk to someone you find attractive but aside from tripping and falling on the person I find attractive I am not sure how to break this habit and show that I want to talk to them. I am not sure I can manage to smile at them once let alone 3 times. Is there any advice you could give me to break this lifelong habit?

Erin, Cleveland, Ohio”

Are you ready for my answer?

Just listen in now below:

David Wygant’s “Self Love” For Women

David Wygant’s “Self Love” For Men