You always have to wait for your friends to go with you before you can do anything you want to do. How many of you do that?

How many of you have that mentality of always waiting for your friends to join you? How many of you live alone with no roommates, and you basically don’t have anyone to run with? How many of you work late all the time because you really just don’t know what else to do with yourself?

This is what I tell everybody, and this is what I do myself. You have to start dating yourself. In order to be able to go and meet somebody, you’ve got to start dating yourself.

So here are some things I used to do all the time. I would take myself out to dinner. Instead of going to Whole Foods and bringing dinner home, I’d go there and sit at one of their tables and eat. There are going to be other people there doing the exact same thing you are.

Instead of renting movies from Netflix when I wanted to see a new movie, I made sure that I went to the video store so I had an opportunity to meet somebody. Instead of making tea (since I don’t drink coffee) at home, I’d go to a coffee shop and sit there to drink my tea. I’d bring a newspaper, hang out and just talk to people there.

You have to start dating yourself. You really do.

You’ve got to start doing things with yourself. You’ve got to start enjoying yourself.

It’s almost like a new form of masturbation. You have to go out there. You have to entertain yourself. You have to go and do things on a consistent basis, because nobody else is going to bring the people to you.

What happens when you are always waiting for your friends to do things, is that you have all sorts of pressure because you’re always waiting for them. You finally get your friends to go out on Friday night, so you put all this pressure on that Friday night as your one opportunity to meet people.

So spend a few days a week dating yourself. Ask yourself out. Call yourself up. Send yourself a text. Send yourself a text and say, “Hey you, what do you want to do tonight?” Then text yourself right back and say, “I don’t know. What are you in the mood for?” Then text yourself again and say, “How about dinner at Whole Foods tonight, or why don’t we we go to that great little place up the street and have dinner at the bar?”

Go out and start communicating with people. The point is to build up your social network. When you go out and do all this, don’t just go out and wait for the most beautiful person to arrive before you’ll talk to anyone. Talk to everybody.

What happens when you do that is that you start to build up that social network. You will start to communicate with people all the time — men, women, kids, dogs, older people, younger people, everyone.

Then a month later, you’ll run into the woman you talked to at Whole Foods one night. You may not have been attracted to her, but you chatted with her a bit. You had a great conversation over Whole Foods dinner. You may run into that woman when she is with six of her friends, and you will immediately (and without any pressure) have an “in” into that group of women.

Even though you weren’t attracted to her, she was still a nice person to hang out with at the time. And now that you did that, when you see her now with her friends, you can walk right over to her and say, “Oh my God, it’s my dinner partner from Whole Foods a few weeks ago!”

So you’re building yourself a network that way which takes off some of the pressure. Instead of always having to do these cold approaches 24/7, it takes off that pressure and enables you to go and start building up a social network.

This is what I did, and this is how I know so many people. No matter where I go, I know people. If I fly to London tomorrow, I can call ten people for dinner and they’ll bring ten new people along. If I go to Wisconsin tomorrow, I’ve got a group of people I can hang out with. It’s called being a friendly person, dating yourself and meeting other people.

Has anybody ever told you that you over-talk about yourself on a date? A lot of people go out on a first date, and all they ever do is talk about themselves.

They constantly talk about themselves on a date. They are constantly talking about work, and I have to tell you men that women don’t want to constantly hear about your work when they’re on a date with you.

Women don’t want to hear about your fantasy football league. They don’t want to hear about your past and your ex-girlfriends. They don’t want to hear how bruised you were by your last relationship. Actually both sexes don’t want to hear about that.

If you do this on dates, I want you to start seeing the purpose of a first date differently. I want you to redefine what a first date is really all about.

A first date is just a way to learn more information about each other. First dates are about sharing stories and being positive. They are not about obsessing about work and bragging about your accomplishments.

Bragging is the biggest turnoff in the world. I have heard so many women complain to me about men who brag about their work accomplishments on a first date.

Men will talk about how successful they are and about the kind of car they drive, when what women really want to know is where you are emotionally. When men brag women will wonder, “Are they that materialistic? Are they that into just themselves?”

So if you are someone who brags and talks about themselves constantly on a first date, you need to rethink your first date behavior. You need to start listening, and maybe even bring a recorder along on one of your dates.

Bring a little mini-recorder along and tape the conversation that takes place on your next first date, then send me the recording. I will break it down and I will tell you what you are doing right and what you are doing wrong.

If you are getting a lot of first dates but very few second dates, then it is time to really figure out how to get to the bottom of what is causing this and become more successful.

You’re sitting there on a date. You’ve been looking forward to this date. You’ve build up a whole fantasy in your mind about this person. You really think that this is going to be the woman (or the man) for you.

Now they are sitting there next to you. After about twenty or twenty-five minutes, however, the conversation just kind of dies. Then there is that awkward silence.

It’s funny. When you’re with somebody for a long time, you have what people call comfortable silence. In the first twenty minutes or half hour of the beginning of this so-called relationship that you were so sure was going to happen, though, it’s called an awkward silence.

So what do you do in that situation?

At those moments, it’s time to make a joke. Just look the person in the eyes and say, “We’re having our first moment of comfortable silence together. It’s so nice, isn’t it? It’s like we’ve been together for a long time. Here we are. We’re both eating our burgers right now, and we’re having that comfortable silence that people have who have been dating for like six months. Don’t you feel it, too? Aren’t you as comfortable as I am right now?”

Kind of make a joke about it, because most people are probably nervous. Plus, remember that there are allowed to be silent periods in conversations. You don’t have to just keep rambling on and rambling on and rambling on nonstop.

Now, sometimes, there is silence on a date for another reason. Maybe twenty minutes or a half hour into the date you realize that there may not be as much chemistry between you as your mind had imagined there would be.

In that case, that awkward silence may be because of a total lack of chemistry. You can play that situation two ways.

One, you do the thing that I actually told you to do, i.e., make a joke about it, and then try to finish the date as enjoyably as possible. Two, you can look at the person and say, “Hmmm, do we have a lack of chemistry?” Since I don’t suggest going with the second option, I recommend you go with the first option.

A lot of people email me all of the time, asking, “what’s a great date? I’m seeing a man or a woman, and I want to take them out on a great date.”

I have a great date idea. You want to do this on a Sunday, and just call it ‘my favorite Sunday’ – I think that every Sunday you need to create a new favorite Sunday.

If you’re by yourself, you need to do things that you really enjoy – take yourself out for a Sunday. Go out, go to a Farmer’s Market, grab some breakfast, talk to some people, and then just have an adventure. Maybe you can go shopping a bit, walk around some stores. If it’s nice out and you live by a lake or a beach, go there.

Go check out some open houses. There are always people around at open houses. Check out what houses are for sale in your neighborhood – or condos in the city, whatever it might be. Go to a bookstore, go to a library. Just take yourself out. Walk around. The weather is nice, so go walk around.

But my favorite thing to do on a Sunday – pick somebody you really want to hang out with on a Sunday, and just say you’re going to have an all-day little kid sleepover.

Start the day off by showering together. Take a shower together, get dressed in front of each other. It’s a lot of fun.

And if you don’t meet up until 12:00, you could also go out to brunch or breakfast – or even just getting takeout food and sitting in the car talking while you drive around some fun neighborhood.

That’s a fun thing to do – get a to-go box, and say you’re going to have a picnic today. And the picnic is going to be this incredibly fun drive around great neighborhoods. You can look at different houses and do things – see a couple of different neighborhoods.

That’s a great date too. Just walk around a couple of different neighborhoods, and check out the different stores and people. Talk to the merchants together.

Stop putting all of the pressure on yourself. You don’t need to put all of the pressure on yourself. Just let it flow a little bit.

Maybe you have an errand to run that day, maybe you need a new place to live. Maybe your looking for a new favorite shirt or whatever it might be. Take the person along with you and get their opinion. You just want to spend the day together, having a good time.

And then at the end of the day, with the weather being this nice, take a walk somewhere. If you live in the city, take a walk through a park. Watch the street performers. Comment on the street performers.

If you live in Los Angeles like I do, go for a hike at the end of the day, and watch the sun set. Right now the wildflowers are blooming and it’s beautiful up there. Take a hike, and go up above the city and look down.

If you live near a beach, take a walk with somebody on the beach. What a great day! After the end of that long day together, you watch the sunset. That’s a good time.

No beach? Walk around a lake. Just walk. Walk somewhere fun. If you live in New York City, take a little boat ride in Central Park. There are so many different things you can do.

If you live in the middle of the country, you guys have lakes! If you live in Michigan, you could take a walk by the lake. Look at the trees blooming together. That’s fun. There are so many fun things to do in the spring and summer times. It’s bonding. It will be a great date.

And then that night, get take-out food – it’s all about the take-out food. Pick a fun ethnic restaurant in your area and try it.

Work out together – that’s another fun thing to do together. Go to the gym together. Encourage each other to work out. It’s fun.

Go do yoga, and stretch each other. Stretching is really sexy. Learn a couple of different yoga poses. Yoga is really erotic – you can touch each other during yoga. Partner yoga is great. If you don’t know how to do it, read about it on the internet. Google it.

Go to a yoga studio, and they have partner yoga classes and stuff. It’s really fun.

And then at night, after a fun dinner, make sure you have a fun movie. That’s another great ending for that date.

Or get some good massage lotions. Foot massage – there is nothing better than rubbing a woman’s feet. You’re on your feet all day long, and all women love long, slow foot massages. Get some peppermint foot lotion from the Body Shop – it’s great, and fairly inexpensive. It tingles on the feet, so it’s a lot of fun.

Massage each other. Massaging is a lot of fun, too. Just massage one another. Get some good oils. There is this company called Jimmy Jane – www.jimmyjane.com. Go there. They’ve got these amazing candles – you light the candle and you pour the hot wax on each other. It’s not really that hot, just warm. The whole candle is like a great massage.

These are some things you need to do when you start seeing somebody; really turn it up a little bit. Have a fun sleepover. Don’t just do the same boring stuff all the time – watching TV.

Or you could break this whole blog down into individual dates. There are so many different dates on here that are fun. Activity dates, springtime-only dates – it’s bonding, it’s fun, and it takes the pressure off.

There is nothing worse than a bad date – the dates where you just stare at each other? Or the ones where you’re swapping resumes? Avoid those, and you’ll have a great time.

Todays video is all about the art of teasing and how to make her interested in you.

Memorial day weekend in LA and it is 54 degrees and raining!!! I love the rain so its a nice break!

Today we have a great video on how to create great first dates.

So you met a man or a woman and you created some instant attraction.

Now what do you do.

Are you going to be a great flirt?

Are you going to stop the monkey chatter and turn off the negative thinking long enough to connect with women.

Are you a woman that has trouble connecting with a man on a first date.

Todays video will help you out….but first you must read todays blog!!

Are you somebody that really values every minute of your day? Do you make a conscious effort to basically respect yourself?

Do you make an effort to make sure you get dressed in the morning, to make sure you eat a good meal for breakfast, to make sure you get a good eight hours of sleep?

Are you somebody who looks forward to certain TV shows, and you make the time for the certain things in your life that are important to you? Maybe you make the time for working out, maybe for getting your favorite cup of coffee in the morning.

Do you make the time for all of the little things in life that you love? Do you make the time for other people? And are you on time?

It’s amazing how many people make the time for the things that they want, but then when they are meeting someone, they are running 30 to 45 minutes late without a phone call or anything. That, to me, shows that you absolutely do not respect the people you are meeting, and you do not respect other people’s time.

If someone commits time to you – if they commit their heart – if they commit their time to you and tell you that they will meet you at a certain time, you’d better show up, and you’d better be on time! They are taking time out of their day to get to know you, and they’re taking time out of their day to hang out with you.

By not showing up on time – whether it’s a date or a business meeting – you’re basically telling somebody that you don’t respect their time. So the next time you’re running 20 minutes late, and you’ve got the thing called a cell phone, use it! Call the person.

As a matter of fact, if you’re running late, call the person an hour ahead of time! You already know that you’re running late – you already know that you’re going through whatever regimen you have that is causing you to be late in the first place.

But don’t make people wait for you without an explanation. Because by the time you actually show up, many times, if it’s a date, you’ve already been ruined – no matter what you do. Especially if it’s a first or second date, when you’re trying to make a good impression on somebody? You’re done.

So next time: check the clock, or just leave a little earlier