People are always asking me, “how do you make somebody be attracted to you?”

You don’t MAKE somebody be attracted to you – you create attraction. You create attraction by making people feel good – by listening to them, by talking to them, and by engaging them in a conversation.

You create attraction by communicating with someone and paying him or her a compliment – not an over-the top-compliment but a genuine one. A compliment that means something.

If you see someone that you haven’t seen in a while, you say to them, “wow, you look really good.” It has to be something that comes from your heart. Attraction is the art of making people feel wanted and desired. It’s about making people feel special.

So many people are afraid to say what is on their mind. They don’t want to let it out because they don’t want to feel vulnerable. But you can’t get people to become attracted to you unless you are vulnerable. Without being vulnerable, whom are they really becoming attracted to? You have to be attracted to yourself.

I’m really into paying genuine compliments. I like to pay compliments to people. If someone looks really good, I’m all about telling them that. But don’t forget – I’m not doing that to manipulate or create a false attraction. I’m doing it because it’s legitimate. I mean it and I feel it.

That’s how you create attraction – or reveal it. Creating real attraction is by being honest and not being afraid to say things. So many times people are thinking that there is this “magic pill” to create attraction, when in reality it doesn’t exist.

The only way to do it is by making somebody feel good. You have to talk to them and listen to what they have to say – and react to what they say. Take the conversation deeper.

Smile. Touch them a little bit. Touch their arm or their shoulder. Look directly into their eyes. When they say something that is funny, laugh! When they say something that is emotional – and it makes you feel sad – show that emotion.

Attraction is about making somebody feel great in your presence. It’s about being open, honest, and being real. It’s not about manipulation. There is no manipulating when it comes down to attraction.

Real attraction is created when you are being genuine with someone. Be authentic. If you are authentic you can create attraction.

Stop trying to chase everybody out there. So many men are in chase-mode and so many women operate in desperation-mode.

You’re either attracted to someone or you’re not. We’re all attracted to people who make us feel really good when they are around.

You know, it’s funny how differently people conduct their dating life from every other aspect of their life. Do you realize that if you conducted your dating life like your business life, that you would probably be a far more successful dater? Think about it – your follow-ups would be better, your memory would be better . . . and your manners would be better. Not only that, but how you come across to others would be better because you would not be so emotionally-driven and attached to every single outcome.

One of the most common dating situations in which people always seem to lose their “business skills” is deciding when to return the phone call after someone leaves them a message. A lot of people seem to feel it necessary to create some super-special strategy to decide when to return that phone message. This is the most ridiculous thing in the world!

So let’s go into it so we can settle this issue once and for all. In the area of dating, when do you call someone back after they have left you a phone message?

Here are 5 phone rules that everyone should following when dating:

1. Be Prompt When They’re Prompt. If you gave out your phone number and somebody calls you within 24 hours, then you should call them back within 24 hours. There should be none of this “waiting four or five days to call” business. When someone has called you within 24 hours, that’s called momentum. It’s called momentum for a reason, and so many people in dating lose that momentum very quickly by not promptly returning phone calls. Even if you’re busy, call the person back promptly to let them know that you’re busy and tell them you will connect with them in a few days when your schedule settles down. To wait four or five days to return a phone message, however, to me is simply rude. You would never do this in your business life, yet that is what so many people do in their dating life.

2. If They Waited, You May Also Wait. You’ve given your phone number to someone, and that person waits four or five days to call you. As far as I’m concerned, when that happens you are entitled to wait four or five days to return that person’s call. That person did not make you a priority, and they played games. Although the person decided to call you, what they were likely actually doing during those four or five days was debating whether they wanted to call you. This shows lack of interest. I know that when I get a woman’s phone number and I wait four or five days to call her, that I’m really not that interested in her and I really don’t care whether or not she calls me back.

3. It’s OK To Call Right Back. If someone calls you promptly after you’ve given them your phone number, then you should call them back within 24 hours – but it is even perfectly fine to call them back the same night they call you. It doesn’t look desperate. It looks like you actually have manners, that you’re someone who pays attention to detail, and that you’re someone who respects other people’s time. Think about this for a second. When someone calls you, they are taking time out of their day to talk to you. So it is not only “ok,” but really simple courtesy, to acknowledge this with a promptly returned phone call. This is something we do in business every day without ever thinking twice about it, but we don’t do this in our dating life because we conduct it with emotionally-based decisions.

4. You Can’t Manipulate Someone Into Liking You. So many people think there needs to be some “strategy” in making the decision when to return someone’s phone call. They’ll think things like “Oh, let me think when I should call them back. Should I wait four or five days so I’ll seem busy and not too available? If I call back today will I seem desperate?” It doesn’t work that way! This is simply a matter of courtesy and being a mature adult. If someone called me in my business and left me a message about wanting me to coach them, I will call them back as quickly as possible NOT because I’m desperate for business but because I respect the fact that the person took the time to contact me. Playing games and trying to make someone think certain things about you (like that you’re busy or not desperate) by waiting to return a phone call will NOT make someone more interested in you than they would otherwise be. All you will accomplish by doing this is to make the other person think you are rude and uninterested.

5. Being Busy Is No Excuse. So many of us are busy being busy. As busy people, we get how busy everyone’s life can be. Returning a phone call and leaving a voicemail message, though, takes only about 15 to 30 seconds. Returning a call to let the person know that you’re busy and will call them in a few days takes barely a minute. It’s better to return the call promptly and let them know you’re busy and will call them in a few days after things settle down (with work, kids, or whatever it might be), then to put the phone call off and to think about it. The longer you wait to call somebody back, the less likely it will be the person will still have the interest in you that they had in the first place.

These are all tips that you should follow in navigating the phone calls you receive from someone you’re newly dating. These tips are equally applicable to men and women, and the rules contained in them apply to both sexes. So remember to follow these rules, and when someone calls you – call them back!
Now we have that out of the way lets go to the videotape. Its time you learned how easy it is to create instant attraction and use the art of teasing.

My Friend David Deangelo calls it cocky funny, some of the other Gurus call it Negging. I call it what it really is without the funny names!