That reminded me of a woman I dated about fourteen years ago named Denise. I told my girlfriend the story about the time that Denise dropped her kid off at my office, and the kid proceeded to wreak complete havoc.

I said it was at that moment I realized that I could not be in a relationship with her, because I was not ready to take on someone’s kid and to be a dad. No matter how wonderful Denise was, I simply was not in that place in my life.

All of a sudden, and just as I finished that sentence, out of the corner of my eye I notice this woman with crazy eyes at another table peering toward our table. We had not been speaking unusually loudly. We were just speaking in a normal conversational voice to each other.

The woman with the crazy eyes at the other table then said, “Excuse me. Do you mind? This really hits home for me.” I look over there and all I see is a kid sitting at the table with her eating a sundae.

I’m thinking, “This woman is a crazy mother and a nut!” I look at my girlfriend, but I can’t say a word because I unbelievably have this person leaning in, eavesdropping and telling us what we are allowed to talk about with each other across the dinner table.

Now I’m ready to just battle down with this woman, but my girlfriend gives me a cautioning look and says “The kid’s here.” So, we just got up and we left.  This woman was out of her mind!

Do you look at another couple like that when you’re out in a restaurant? Let’s say a couple has a date and they’re talking dirty to each other, whispering sweet nothings and having a good time telling each other all the things they want to do to each other later.

Are you going to be the buzz kill in that situation? Are you going to look at them and say “Excuse me. I haven’t been laid in over three years and this is really hitting close to home for me. I’m really tired of masturbating nonstop. So, would you mind not talking to each other like that?”

What about if you’re sitting next to a couple in a restaurant and a man is sharing with his wife what a great day he had at the office. Would you ever look at them and say, “I have a really shitty job. Do you mind not talking about that right now?”

Anyone who is familiar with my work knows that I am all about eavesdropping. I encourage people to join conversations. If you hear a group of people talking about something that interests you, join the conversation and add to it.

You, however, should never join a conversation to kill it. Never put your crazy psycho energy on someone else. Never tell anyone what they should (or should not) talk about in a private conversation.

So what I was talking about privately to my girlfriend hit home for this woman? I am sorry you may have made some bad choices. I am sorry that the man you chose is a deadbeat dad to your daughter. My heart bleeds for you.

You know what, though? You should never ever listen to someone else’s conversation and tell them what they should or shouldn’t say.

This would only happen in California. This woman was crazy.

We actually had a wonderful laugh about it as we left. In fact, the whole way home we kept laughing and wondering what was wrong with that woman.

Why do people feel the need to do things like this? It reminds me of a blog I wrote a long time ago about people like this. Really, what is wrong with some people? Crazy energy. Crazy eyes. Crazy people.

I don’t care if you’re a man or a woman, but one of the best Sunday exercises is going to a museum or an art gallery and hanging out there.

Hang out there for two or three hours and have conversations with every single person you see. Everyone.

Walk over to them and say, “excuse me, what do you think of this painting?” or “how does this painting make you feel?” You will get into great conversations all day long.

This teaches you a few things. For one, it shows you that people don’t bite – nothing bad is going to happen to you if you talk to people.

Secondly, it’s great practice. It teaches you how to listen. You have to listen to be able to talk about the subject that you’re discussing.

Specifically in terms of artwork, there is so much going on in front of you. We’re in a museum right now, and a client just told me how easy it is in here, because there are so many things to talk about – the things on the wall, the collections, etc.

But life itself is like a museum! After you go to a museum, you can walk around your life and find anything to talk about. You find things to discuss and things to ask questions about.

Today, during a bootcamp, we started at a food market, and all of the conversations started with talking about brownies and pastries. And all of those people we talked to came back to talk to us later.

This is why observations are so powerful. In a grocery store, in a museum, in an art gallery – you have all of these opportunities to talk about the things that are going on.

A good salesperson will get on the phone and talk to the person on the other end, “Hey man, how are you doing today? Are you having a great day?” He or she will start bantering back and forth.

For you, no sales pitches are necessary. Just flirt. If you think about it, we really flirt all day long.

You have to create that banter – whether you’re a salesperson or just looking for a date. Life is about cold calling. You never know what someone is going to say to you, so you have to start off with some type of friendly banter (instead of just going straight in for the kill!)

You think, I really want to ask her out, so you just walk over to her and say, “Hey, do you want to go out?” It doesn’t work that way. You have to start with friendly banter.

So how do you do this friendly banter? How do you cold call your way through life and succeed?

You succeed by picking up on the clues in your environment. You observe the clues of people’s body language. You observe the things that people are doing and experiencing. These are the things you make comments on. To bond with someone, you have to share something. You must share something about yourself to get that connection with someone.

Here is a good exercise to learn how to cold call in your life: think to yourself about how you can open this specific person based on your observations of what’s going on? How can you have the best cold call there is?

Think about who the best cold callers are in the business world – they are the ones that don’t care so much about the outcome. They just whip through as many as they can in an hour.

When you’re out there trying to meet women, you want to try to talk to everybody. You want to get through as many people as you can so you get warmed up. If you’re not sufficiently warmed up, every cold call you make is going to be very uncomfortable.

Start looking at your life as one giant cold call!

David: So what you’re worried about is not the opener, right? You’ve opened a woman up, but you’re worried about creating that attraction throughout the conversation, right?

Client: Yeah, that, and having something to say immediately after opening her, especially if she’s not giving me a lot to go off of.

David: Okay. So she’s not giving you a lot to go off of. A lot of women do this. But if you’ve opened her in the right way – based on an observation, based on what she was already thinking – you’re getting some type of answer back from her.

So let’s say you walk over to a group of women sitting there at a table. You say, “Hey, that food looks really good! What is that exactly?” One of them might respond, “It’s the special.” You say, “What is the special?” Then she tells you about it.

You can go back to her table 20 minutes later and say, “Oh man, I ordered that special, and it’s just not as good as you said it was!” You can return and follow the conversation. You don’t have to worry about coming up with something new every time.

You can give her 15 to 30 good seconds to think about it, and then remember what she said and come back to her about it. Come back at her with the things that you talked about with her previously.

Carry the conversation. Pay attention to what is going on. That is really the only way to do that. Otherwise, you don’t keep the conversation flowing or moving.

So really gather that information. Pretend that you’re an investigator. You’re like a CSI – it’s a crime scene. You’re this great investigator, and you’re trying to figure out exactly what this person is all about.

What are you learning about this person from the very first time? What did you learn?

And then when you go back to talk to them again, start the conversation based on what you’ve already learned. You’re just uncovering a mystery – she’s a mystery.

If you pay attention to what she is saying the first time you talk to her, then you will have plenty of things to talk about the next time you approach her.

Let’s say you’re talking to a girl in a coffee shop and she says, “You know, I love Italian coffee. It’s my favorite thing ever!” So then five minutes later you can talk to her again while she’s sipping her coffee and ask her, “So how did you end up falling in love with Italian coffee? Have you been to Italy?”

She might respond, “Oh my god, I went to Italy, it’s my favorite!” You ask, “what’s so great about Italy?” and then she’ll tell you. She’ll tell you how much she loves Rome – the history, the culture, blah blah blah… so the next time you talk to her you can say, “Man, you have to tell me more about Rome. I’ve never been there, but I’ve heard that the Coliseum is phenomenal. What was your favorite thing?”

So do you see how that happens? You’re moving that conversation forward. You’re remembering things that she talked about previously and then moving the conversation forward. You’re taking that conversation somewhere and turning it into something instead of this blasé chat that you have to start fresh every time.

It’s about paying attention to the details and being a really good investigator. The more you investigate, the easier it will be.

Client: And how do you avoid being one of those fucking guys who are hammering a girl with endless questions?

David: The most important difference is that you’re actually listening to her answers and sharing yourself with her at the same time.

When she tells you how much she loves Italy, you’re saying, “Oh my god, I love Italy too! I went to Italy one summer a few years ago and the food was amazing! What was your favorite thing that you ate there?” She answers, “Oh, I had the best pizza at this restaurant in Positano.”

You respond, “Oh my god, I was never in Positano, but I had this great pizza in….” and you share a story with her. You go into storytelling mode and share with her your experience there. This is how you avoid being Larry King and peppering her with questions.

You’re becoming an investigator, but you’re also sharing your own stories and bonding with her through it.

So that is how you do it. It’s a conversation. Think about having a conversation with your friends. If you speak to women as you speak to your friends, you’ll be fine.

All we’re really doing is trying to escalate attraction with everyone we connect with. The real reason we befriend somebody is because we connect with them and we show interest in each other’s lives.

So you’re really letting your true personality come out in this way.

It’s a great thing to say. It’s a much more personal and friendly way to say goodbye. Most people will just say, “Bye,” and that’s fine, but there’s no personal connection about it. Saying “See you soon” implants in the person’s mind that you might actually see them again in the future.

People appreciate the warmth they get when you say that to them. Strive to end all of your conversations with “I’ll see you soon.”

Are you heading to a Superbowl party this weekend. Check out what you really need to wear.

Gee, thanks for telling me, because I’m never going to remember it anyway!

People are always asking me how I remember everyone’s name. I always answer, “I don’t!” I rarely remember people’s names.

What I do remember is things about them. I remember personal things about them. Every single person that I meet I attach some type of story or nickname to.

For example, tonight I went to a party and ran into a guy that I’d met before. I don’t really remember his name, but I do remember him as “Radio Man” – because he’s in the radio business.

So I went and talked to him, and I said, “hey, Radio Man, how are you? What’s going on?” and I remembered what we talked about the last time. I remembered the business things we talked about and I remembered some of the ventures that he did, and I brought them up.

I remember details about everyone. You’re not bonding with somebody based on his or her name; you’re bonding with them because you remember something interesting about them.

Who cares if you don’t remember their name? I remember details. I remember things about people, so that the next time I see them I will be able to move the conversation forward. I’ll be able to talk with them further. I can ask them questions.

For instance, there is this woman that works at Whole Foods, and she has on Hello Kitty stuff all of the time because her daughter makes her wear it. So every time I see her, I say, “Hello Kitty, how are you? Your daughter made you wear that pin again today?” And then we can talk about her daughter and other things.

The key thing is to remember details about somebody so that the next time you talk to them you are able to take the conversation further.

Think about it – how do you feel when someone remembers you? You feel good if somebody remembers your name, but how do you feel if somebody remembers a detail about you? Or if somebody remembers something that happened to you? Or a story that you told them? How does that make you feel? It makes you feel so much better.

So don’t worry about the names. Just remember things about people. The more you can remember about people, the greater emotional connection you are going to have and the greater chance you’ll have of being memorable to them. You’ll be able to take it further.

Once again: I don’t care what your name is. I don’t remember your name. But I do remember that it was your 3-year-old daughter’s birthday last week – and that is all that matters.

Start remembering things about people and you will also learn how to listen better. If you start listening to what people say you’ll become a good conversationalist.

It’s a great trick – for me to become a great conversationalist I had to really listen to people. When I really listened to people, I started remembering things. When I started remembering things, I was able to take the conversation deeper and further.

So thank you to all of you anonymous readers! I don’t know any of your names. But if you email me, I’ll remember your story.

Can you imagine if they actually pass that law? Then, for your entire flight, you’d have to sit next to a broadcaster.

I’m not talking about John Madden and Al Michaels here, and I’m not talking about Vin Scully. I’m talking about that obnoxious person sitting next to you at an outdoor café who is speaking so loudly that you can hear everything they say. And they want you to hear everything that they say.

The other day Rey and I were sitting outside Whole Foods and we basically spent the entire time listening to this woman’s conversation about buying a house. “I DON’T KNOW IF I SHOULD BUY THE HOUSE, I’M NOT QUITE SURE. I’M NOT SURE IF I SHOULD APPROVE THE DEAL…”

Everything she said was basically yelled into the phone and into our ears. She wanted the world to hear what she had to say.

That’s the worst thing in the world. Cell phones are annoying to begin with, but it’s even worst when you have to listen to one end of a crazy conversation that isn’t even remotely interesting. There was nothing interesting about this woman and her conversation whatsoever.

So what do you do to get rid of a broadcaster? You out-broadcast them!

So get on your cell phone. Even if you aren’t talking to anybody, just pick up your phone for the hell of it. Lift it up to your ear and just start out-broadcasting her!

Literally mimic her: “YOU KNOW, IT’S FUNNY, I DON’T KNOW IF I SHOULD DO THAT DEAL…” Just start talking as loud as you can and out-broadcast her.

At the same time, look at her and smile. She will think you’re smiling because of something the person on the other end of your phone said, but you’re just fucking with her!

Some more fun with cell phones: do you ever get cut off in traffic, or someone on the road just pisses you off? Get on your cell phone and move into eye contact distance with the person who pissed you off. While you’re holding your phone to your ear, make direct eye contact with the person, smile, and mouth, “FUCK YOU.”

They will think you’re talking to someone on the phone but in reality you just basically flipped them off in a very cool and calm way.

What does this all have to do with dating? Absolutely nothing! Not every blog I write has to be relevant to dating! Maybe once in a while I just want to write about something different. Today is different.

What do you guys do when you overhear a broadcaster?

So on this Thanksgiving Day, I wanted to share with all of you my take on the day — as well as a little personal message from me.

Did you sing that song as a kid — you know, the “Over The River And Through The Woods To Grandmother’s House We Go …” song? I never really understood the “over the river and through the woods” analogy for Thanksgiving because my Grandmother made the driest turkey this side of the Sahara Desert.

We’re about to head into the holiday season. Six weeks of tedious annoying Zales Jewelers commercials, not to mention that lovely $69.00 diamond pendant with diamonds the size of bedbugs.

What Thanksgiving really kicks off (other than the end of the Chargers’ playoff hopes) is the start of the most vulnerable six weeks of the year for singles. Let’s call it “the quest to meet someone before 5-4-3-2-1 woo hoo Happy New Year!”

I’ve had some great Thanksgiving Days though. I remember a few years ago when I had nothing going on for Thanksgiving. So I walked into Whole Foods the day before Thanksgiving and I picked up my Thanksgiving dinner: a box of Peanut Butter Bumpers and soy milk.

As I was looking for some pumpkin pie to finish off my sugar rush, I bumped into this really sexy woman who had a cart full of some really great looking food. So I started a conversation with her:

DW: “Your dinner looks a lot better than mine.”
Her: “Please tell me that’s not your Thanksgiving dinner.”
DW: “I’d love to tell you it’s not not my Thanksgiving dinner, but that would be a lie. I was going to get Cruchberries, but they were out of them. Crunchberries remind me of my Grandmother’s cranberry sauce and dried out turkey.”

We proceeded to talk, and she said that she refused to let me eat Peanut Butter Bumpers for Thanksgiving … and I got invited to a Thanksgiving night party with her and seven of her friends.

I have a confession to make to all of you — I’ve done that every year I’ve been single.

I actually enjoy spending Thanksgiving with total strangers. I mean, didn’t the pilgrims do that before they killed all the Indians? Then again, my knowledge of history is a little poor at times …

So if you want to know where I’ll be today, I will be spending the day with my girlfriend and having dinner with friends.

On a more serious note, I do want to wish all of you and your families a very Happy Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is a day to be thankful, and I am thankful for many things this year. A thanks to all of you for letting me come into your hearts, minds … and your computer screens this year.

Also, a special thank you to all the guys who — once again in overwhelmingly large numbers — were kind enough to send me the feedback I requested yesterday for the upcoming launch of my membership site.

So Enjoy Turkey Day!

Are they saying that women are unfriendly people as a gender? Of course not. Guys complain most often to me that when they ask women questions when they first meet them – whether it be a woman they approach for the first time or a woman with whom they are out on a first date – that women tend to be very negative in how they answer them.

For example, a guy during a first date may ask a woman about her past relationships, and she will bash her ex-boyfriend by saying something like “Oh, my ex-boyfriend was such an idiot. He cheated on me, and he was a complete jerk.” Then she will go on to tell the guy about all the stuff that her ex-boyfriend did that were bad.

Even if all of that is true, women need to understand how this is perceived by the men who are hearing it. In particular, women need to understand how it is perceived by men who are just meeting you or are just newly getting to know you.

When you speak negatively about a past relationship, a guy hearing that will think that if he gets involved with you that at some point down the road you will be bashing him to someone else. Don’t be so negative about your past experiences.

Don’t also be negative about what is going on in your life currently. Don’t talk negatively about your friends. Men don’t care about the turmoil that is going on in your life and with your friends.

Men don’t care that your friend did not show up at your other friend’s birthday party and didn’t even a send a present. The only thing a guy will notice is that they are on a first date with you and you are speaking negatively about your friend.

Men want to see you be positive on a first date. We don’t want to hear about all of that other negative stuff when we haven’t gotten to know you yet.

I can’t tell you how many times when I’ve walked up to a woman and started talking to her by asking how her day is, that she will begin her answer with some version of “My day is lousy…” Then when I ask her why, she will elaborate with a list of one negative thing after another.

Don’t be so negative. When men first meet you, they want to see the positive and cheery side of you.

Men of course understand that life is not all positive and cheery. In the beginning, though, show men your good side.

We all have a negative side. We all have things about which to complain. We all have things that don’t go our way. That’s perfectly fine, just don’t bring all of that up on a first date.

Don’t bash your friends and don’t be negative about past relationships. Be positive on a first date, because you need to think positive things in order to attract a great new relationship.

I remember a woman with whom I had a first date who illustrates this point perfectly. I asked her on that date whether she dated a lot, and she answered “no.” When I asked her why, her answer was “Because men suck.” She then proceeded for the next ten minutes to tell me all the reasons why men ’suck.’

The thing was, I didn’t want to hear about why she believes men ’suck.’ It didn’t matter. I could have said “women suck too” to try and be nice and agree with her, but they don’t. I don’t judge women as a gender based on what certain women in my past may or may not have done.

When I’m on a first date, I am open to finding out who that particular woman is and what she is all about. You should have that same attitude when you meet a new guy.

The fact is that if you’re having a bad run in life, only you can change it. So if you’re negative and you complain when you meet someone new, then you are just perpetuating that bad run and it will simply continue. So stop being negative, and start giving your future a better chance to be positive.

Sure, dinner and a movie are great – if you want to sit there in silence and stare at a screen for two hours. You drop them off at the end of the night and you haven’t learned a thing about them the entire evening!

How about going to a movie and bringing a picnic into the movie? Having a picnic during a movie is always fun. You can hide it in your manbag! You can whip out this great little sushi meal as you watch The Return of Godzilla! You could even make the food fit the theme of the movie.

How about watching the sunset? Most people think, let’s go to the beach and watch the sunset. It’s like kissing on New Year’s Eve – how cliché. I read something recently in a magazine that I thought was a cool idea: why don’t you paint the sunset?

Go to the store and get two paint kits and actually paint the sunset. Whether you are a professional artist or a stick-figure artist (like me) you will really be able to interact with the person you are painting with. You could ask them, “so what made you put the sun to the right?” “Why does your stick figure look so much different than mine?

What about a Sunday drive? Instead of just cruising to the beach or a lake, why don’t you go to open houses? I’ve talked a lot about this in some of my products. Take a look at some of the houses in both the good and the bad neighborhoods. Get an idea of what each of you like in a house.

This will bring up a lot of interesting conversations between the two of you as well. Even if a house that you look at isn’t really that great, you can talk about it and it will give you an idea of the depth of her character

And when you go and visit the McMansions you can take a look at it, have some fun and really pretend that you’re interested in buying the house. It can be a really fun day.

Here’s something I’ve read about but I’ve never really done it: shooting clay birds. I don’t know, I’ve never really seen a clay bird. I have a bird in my office two days a week, but I’ve never shot clay birds in my life. Apparently it’s quite fun and a good idea for a date. Go figure that one out.

So there are some new date ideas for you.

Todays video is all about how to meet women on a Saturday.

This is one place that you would have never thought of!!!