I live right on the beach in L.A., and I thought about something I noticed on my trip: the Atlantic Ocean in Miami sounds different than the Pacific Ocean. The waves are smaller, but have continuous little swells that come in, so you hear a constant whooshing sound. The Pacific has bigger waves that crash harder, so it’s a different sound. In Hawaii, the ocean sounds different too. When I’m in the South of France, at the beach in Cannes, the waves are totally different.

Nature has so many different sounds. Each beach has different birds with different sounds. Different forests have different sounds depending on the density of the trees. Each thunderstorm is different depending on where you are. If you’re in the mountains, a thunderstorm sounds far different than it does if you’re on flatland in Kentucky.

Getting in touch with nature can make you a far more interesting person, but not only that, it’s going to help you connect with the opposite sex better. You’re going to be more tuned into the environment and you’re surroundings.

Every day, lots of people here watch the sunset over the Pacific Ocean. But when you live on the East Coast, you watch the sunset over a city because the sun sets in the West. Different! And the reflection of the sun fading out as the day gets dark over the water on the East Coast gives it a different hue that you don’t get on the West Coast. On the West Coast, you get the red water, the red sunset.

It’s all about noticing these little things in those “torturous” sounds of silence that makes you really start to think about how beautiful the world is. When I was in Miami, I always looked up, and that’s something that I learned to do. I look at the Art Deco buildings and admire the architecture and I think to myself, “Wow! These were built by hand in a whole different era.”

I notice buildings. I notice the way the sand feels. It’s different sand in Miami Beach compared to the sand where I live in Los Angeles. Everything is different in the world. It’s up to you to explore it.

Start looking around. Start looking up. I remember when I was in Miami and I stared at this beautiful Deco building. It was an off-yellow at the base, and then as it went upward it became more white. And it had trees on the upper level, which means that somebody had a giant patio. And everyday they get to see the sunset on the East and the way that the beautiful sun reflects on the water as it sets.

I urge you all to get out into the world and start paying attention. Get in touch with everything that’s around you and you’ll never be lacking in conversation.

. . .

Some days I’ll walk down the street and I’ll see a woman and say, “Do you ever look up, because some of the most beautiful things are up there.”

I’m dedicating this blog to Tony because I think we’re at the same point in our lives. Even though we are not particularly close in age (he’s 39 years old and I’m 46 years old), I believe he and I are at the same point in our lives when it comes to the kind of connection we want to have with women.

Tony and I had a discussion about how we want more than to “just connect” with women, because we’ve already had that with women. We also want more than to just have sex with women, because we’ve already done that with women. It’s about looking for something more than these things.

It’s about connecting with someone on an emotional level so deep that you’re able to really let go of everything you ever wanted to be, to feel and to experience. Life should be all about doing that.

Not only that, but being in love is something that you need to celebrate every day. You need to celebrate being in love.

You need every single day to tell the person you love that you love them. You need every single day to share your thoughts, your feelings, and your emotions with the person you love. If you don’t, then you’re not celebrating your love.

When it comes down to intimacy, you have to really forget about everything you’ve ever done in the past. You need to forget about everything your body has learned, and then totally succumb and give yourself to somebody else.

Learn new things. Feel new things. Experience new things. By doing that, you are going to be able to achieve levels of intimacy that you’ve always craved and desired.

A lot of people in life are very programmed. Sexually, for instance, if you ask a man or woman what they like they will tell you … but what they are telling you is really what they have liked up to that point. Where they are with you at that moment is not just what’s happened in the past.

Being with you is something that’s totally new and different. So you need to take old information into consideration while also moving forward learning new things, because in life celebrating your love is really all about experiencing and sharing new things every day with someone.

You want to celebrate that love by not always expecting things to be the same, and by being open to whatever the other person brings to the table. This pertains to all areas of your relationship.

One of the greatest ways to do this with your lover is to try something new or do something different with them every week. So, for example, let’s say that there is something that is part of your sexual routine every night (maybe it’s the position, that you always give oral sex, or that they always perform oral sex on you).

In that situation, one day a week you instead could spend time trying other things. You could spend time just touching each other in different ways, teasing each other in different ways, learning to do things in different ways or exploring each other in different ways.

Outside of the sexual context, maybe you’ve taken on certain roles in the relationship that you could exchange. If your partner has been the person who always calls first, for instance, then try reaching out and being that other person by texting them first thing in the morning.

The bottom line is that you really need to do things that are going to celebrate your love every single day in new and exciting ways. It took so long to find this person and to realize what this person was going to be in your life. Why, then, would you do anything except celebrate that love every single day?

I’ve been on a journey for the last couple years learning about self-love. Self-love is one of the most important things you can ever have, because you will never be able to truly love someone else until you learn to truly love yourself.

The reason this is true, is because until you learn to truly love yourself there will always be a wall up around you. There will always be something the prevents you from giving yourself freely to someone else.

A lot of us give of ourselves freely to our animals. Some of us become crazy cat people, while others become crazy dog people. A lot of us can give freely of ourselves to our children.

Many of us have trouble giving freely of ourselves to another adult of the opposite sex, however, because we are so caught up in protecting our emotions. Until you are able to give yourself freely to somebody, though, you will never experience love.

You actually may be able to experience some depth of love, but you’ll never experience powerful love. We all deserve to experience powerful love.

The personal journey of self-love I’ve been on has been unbelievable. What is most unbelievable about it, however, is that it all stemmed from a “Brady Bunch Greg Brady falling off my surfboard in Hawaii” moment.

I think there is an actual mark on the surfboard showing where I fell. I was truly channeling Greg Brady and his Hawaiian surfing episode: I went down in the reef, I had the tiki idol necklace around my neck, Marsha and Cindy were yelling from the beach . . . Ok, maybe not that last part. In all seriousness, though, something did happen to me in Hawaii.

Hawaii is a very spiritual place. When I was surfing in Hawaii this past summer staring at a waterfall, I noticed that if you lined up the surfboard correctly you’d be surfing directly into the waterfall and the mountains.

There is a lot of energy in Hawaii, both spiritual and emotional energy. For reasons unknown, although probably because I was trying to show off to people on the beach, I decided while surfing to jump off my board into the shallow water . . . and ever since that day my hip has been aching.

Once I went deeper into it, I realized that I was on an emotional journey to have and experience the most incredible love I ever wanted: the love of myself. I realized that until I was able to do that, I would not be able to meet and experience someone amazing.

The “I Want More” blog I wrote was all about the feelings and emotions you have for someone that are so amazing that you just constantly desire more. A man named Joe (Mr. “DarkEnergy” himself in fact) posted a comment to that blog asking me how you can tell the difference between the feeling I described in the blog and a simple “crush.”

My answer to Joe was that you want to have a crush . . . just a crush that lasts forever. That’s the magic of love. The magic of love is having a crush that lasts forever and ever, but also knowing and being able to do the necessary work to nurture that relationship to allow it to go the distance.

I want a crush that lasts forever. I want to look at someone and always think they’re the most beautiful person in the world. I want every kiss to be magical.

The only way to make that happen and to make a crush last forever, though, is to be totally conscious about the other person. You need to find someone who is effortless to be with and with whom doing the right this is easy.

The only way to make a relationship like this last is to have both of you want to make it last. You both must recognize the gifts. You both also must recognize your relationship to be comprised of two souls which connect on a deep level. Most importantly, you must have done enough work on yourself to realize that such a connection doesn’t happen every single day.

You may still have more work to do on yourself, but we all need to be working on ourselves every day. If you do and you have already found a crush, the great thing is that you have the other person to support you, accept you and embrace you for everything you are working on about yourself.

Granted, every relationship has a honeymoon phase, but I’ve seen couples who are still “ga-ga” about each other after seven or eight years. They may no longer be having sex seven days a week, but when they make love it’s still absolutely amazing. It is still so amazing because they are still making love to someone on whom they have a crush, someone with whom they’ve created a level of comfort where they know each other on every level and have given every part of themselves to each other.

So all of you should be looking to have a crush on someone, the kind of crush that lasts forever. The only way to make a crush last forever, though, is to first have a crush on yourself. Start getting a kick out of yourself. Start enjoying yourself.

More importantly, get on the same page as someone else’s soul, and let your souls connect. When two souls are connecting, you are going to have a crush . . . and a crush far greater than the kind you had at age sixteen.

Over the age of thirty, you truly know that when you find this it is a gift being presented to you that doesn’t happen every day. You are emotionally mature enough to embrace it and have fun with it.

For all of you who don’t believe in the magic of a crush, you are missing out on something. For those of you who still want to find someone on whom you have this “forever” kind of a crush, the only way to start is to first have a crush on yourself. Remember that nobody can have a crush on you unless you love yourself.

Have you ever spent twenty-eight hours with somebody and it felt like one minute? Twenty-eight hours in which the conversation never ceased to stop? Twenty-eight hours in which the excitement kept building and where the connection kept getting stronger as each minute passed?

Life is a gift. It’s time all of you started accepting the gift of life, because when you do what will happen is that you will actually start to meet people who are going to blow you away. When you’re open and you’re being honest, that is when you’re going to find someone who is also open and honest and then life is just going to seem to mesh.

You will be on the same page with this person about everything you think and feel. It’s amazing when you spend twenty-eight hours with somebody, and when they leave all you want to do is start another twenty-eight hours with them all over again. You don’t want that person to leave. You just want them to stay.

Of course we all have responsibilities in our lives. We all need to work. We all have things we need to do. We need to make money. We need to see our friends. We need to see our family. When someone leaves you after spending twenty-eight hours together and all you can think about is getting to spend twenty-nine (or even thirty-six) hours with them the next time you see them, however, you are in the midst of something amazing.

It’s about building. It’s about desire. It’s about experiencing someone so much that when they leave, you think about how amazing your time together was and look forward to more. That is what chemistry is all about.

Chemistry is about connecting with somebody on every level, and having a very peaceful feeling as you connect with them. It’s is knowing that whatever you say is safe. It is knowing that whatever you’re feeling, they are on the same page with you.

Every word that is said and every moment that is exchanged is building a memory. It’s building things the two of you can talk about in the future. It is the foundation of a relationship.

The first few months you are hanging with someone is building the foundation for what you hope will be an amazing relationship for a long time. So for those of you who are dating someone new, enjoy every moment and every memory because those memories and moments are precious.

There will be a time when you will no longer see that person for twenty-eight hours and will see them all the time. You’ll be so entwined in each other’s lives, and you’ll get there naturally. You’ll get there because each twenty-eight hour period is building the desire to spend more time with each other, to get to know each other better, and to experience more and more of each other.

Connecting with another soul on a deep level like this is amazing and is the best feeling you could ever have, because it’s a connection with no thought process that is 100% natural. That feeling is something that is really going to last and which will really build into more intense feelings.

I think the greatest thing you can have in life is being so content with yourself and so happy, that you are able to truly think about someone else and how you feel about them. I must admit that it’s addicting, and it’s an addiction that everyone needs to feel.

What are your thoughts on this? Are you dating someone about whom you feel this way? If you are dating someone and you don’t have this feeling about them, then you need to move on because this feeling is one that we all need to experience.

There is no other feeling you should experience with someone, because if you’re not feeling this way it means that you’re not connecting with that person on enough of a deep and soulful level. It’s all right if you discover you’re not with someone for whom you feel this way, because you can feel confident that if you move on that there is someone out there waiting for you with whom you will experience this feeling.

If you believe that this type of connection with someone is possible, it will show up. When it does, you need to embrace it because that person could be the love of your life. You’ve got to embrace every little moment of it, because the more you do the better it becomes.

The weekend is an illusion. Boy, this blog is going to put all of you in another mode of thinking…

I’m going to tell you something that is absolutely going to blow you away: 52 weekends a year. 104 days. (Well actually, it’s probably more than 104 days because there are a few three-day weekends thrown in.) So what does that give us? 107 days.

107 days of the year are pure illusion. 99.99% of the world only tries to meet people on the weekends. I totally made that percentage up, but the sentiment is true: the majority of the people in the world live for the weekend.

And what they do on the weekend is the same thing every time – they expect, they want, they desire, and they wish to meet somebody. They think to themselves that this weekend will be different than the last one.

A lot of you even plan out your weekend the Monday before. Do you know why you start planning next weekend by Monday? Because last weekend was yet another disappointment. Last weekend was yet another weekend where you didn’t meet somebody.

So what are you doing? You’re plotting out the following weekend, thinking that things will be different.

Do you know why the weekend is an illusion? Because you’ve never done anything different to change your way of thinking! You haven’t plugged yourself into anything – you haven’t even TRIED to plug yourself into anything.

I believe you can meet people during the week – any time, any place. It doesn’t matter where it is. For those of you who have dug into my products, you know it’s 100% true. For those of you who have attended a bootcamp, you’re out there every day meeting people left and right.

But so many of you still think that the weekend is going to deliver. You believe in the TV show Friday Night Lights – Friday night is going to come… and go. Most Friday nights come and go with the same results. And then you wake up on Saturday and go on the hunt. You become a hunter on the weekends.

Men are hunters, women are deniers. Men will go out there and try to chase women all weekend, because the illusion is that they will find a woman with the same skills they have always had.

Women are in denial. So they pretend that they don’t want to meet men. “Oh, we’re going to this bar right now because we don’t want to meet men. We’re just going here to hang out with friends.”

Really? You like loud bars with annoying guys drooling on you like wolves? That’s where you want to go to hang out with your friends? I don’t buy it. The fact of the matter is this: you can deny it all you want, but you go out and wish that a man would rescue you from your singledom.

So the weekend is an illusion because you don’t do anything during the week. You have to start doing things during the week. You have to start doing things 15 minutes per day to meet somebody.

I meet more people during the week than I ever do on the weekends. The weekend is just like New Year’s Eve – it’s Amateur Night. When you go out on Friday and Saturday nights, you’re hanging out with all of the amateurs. The majority of people who go to bars on Friday and Saturday nights have no clue how to meet people in a bar. That’s the illusion of the bar.

There’s a blog I wrote a while ago, and I said, tell me your age, and then tell me the number of people you’ve met in a bar and then dated. Which number is greater? Is your bar age greater than your real age?

You have to wake up from this weekend illusion. Wake up and realize that in order to meet somebody spectacular, you have to work for it every day.

You can’t just have a career on the weekends. “I’m just not going to do anything all week and have my career on the weekends. Just on Saturdays and Sundays, that’s it. And not even really Saturdays and Sundays – actually, just Friday nights and Saturday nights. So I’ll work four hours per week, and develop this great career.”

Do you know where you would be if you only worked four hours a week? You’d be living under a bridge in a cardboard box. You wouldn’t be in the house that you’re in right now.

So you’d better start rethinking things, because the weekend is just an illusion.

Today we are going to talk about how to keep the conversation going. Its friday and heres a hint.

Have you ever had anyone say cool to you in the middle of a conversation?

Wait till you see what cool really means.