Are you also somebody who loves to share things that other people give to you? Like if somebody else gives you a gift, you’re more than willing to share it with everybody you know and love. And the greatest thing about you is that you don’t even tell anybody that it was a gift from someone else, you make it just seem so innocent.

What exactly I’m talking about here? Let’s put this in black and white. I’m going to put it out there in a way that’s going to open up your ears.

So…are you one of those scumbag guys who has herpes and passes it onto other people without even telling them?

That’s right, scumbags. And if you’re a woman who does it, you’re equally a scumbag. You’re a sleaze, you’re a bitch. Harsh words, I know, but it’s the way I feel about that.

I know a few people who are single with herpes. They don’t tell the people they sleep with that they have herpes, yet they go out, meet other single people, and have unprotected sex and sleep around when they feel like it.

What’s going on with this? The attitude is that it’s not a life and death matter, so you can still go around just like anyone else and do whatever you want. The attitude is if you got herpes, you may as well pass it along to somebody else because whoever you got it from never told you ahead of time? Is that how life works for you?

Sounds fair, doesn’t it? If you talk to somebody openly about their herpes, they’ll say, “Well I got it, and I don’t have to announce it to the world, so what does it matter if I pass it along to somebody else?” That’s that attitude that people have.

To me it’s sleazy. It’s scummy. It’s dirty. Look, if you have a disease, you have to deal with it, you have to come clean no matter how embarrassing you think it is, no matter how many opportunities at sex you’re passing up. Tell your partner about it. Let them bag it. Let them protect themselves. Let them make a choice.

Chances are you’re not going to be with them for a long period of time anyway, so why do they need a constant reminder from you for the rest of their lives?

I find people who have herpes and sleep around without telling the people they’re with are the lowest form of low. Scumbags, dirtbags, douche bags, whatever you want to call them. I’ve got no tolerance and no patience for them. And if they ever looked at me face to face and told me that they do that, I would call them this exactly, just as I called them right now in the blog. A douchebag, scumbag, low-life.

You got a disease? Let your partner know. Give people an opportunity to protect themselves and make a choice. Let them know that they’re taking a risk. Stop being so damn selfish just because you want to get off and have sex. There’s plenty of people who have herpes that you can sleep with.

Don’t hurt someone who was unsuspecting and trusted you. The world gets screwed up when people do things like that. That’s how people lose trust and lose their ability to open up, from people like you, who give herpes to others.

You’re dating someone and the very first time you sleep with them, they tell you they are on the pill and that they are clean. Do you just stick it in, or do you actually wrap it?

Do you actually wrap the johnson? Yes, you wrap it. You wrap the johnson.

You think to yourself, “Hmmm, I’m clean. If she says I can stick it in, it must mean that she’s clean.” Where does the trust come in when it comes to sex?

You know you want to be with this person. You know this is someone with whom you would like to explore a relationship. When, though, is the right time to go in without wrapping it?

We never really talk about this subject and about that there are sexually transmitted diseases. You can make each other get papers showing that you are both safe and have no sexually transmitted diseases.

How cautious are you? How careful are you?

Some people seem to just believe that the person they are with is clean as can be if she is on the pill or he doesn’t want to wrap the johnson. People play that game.

So, what is your take on this? I always say that if you don’t know the person well, then better safe than sorry. Wrap it.

Otherwise, you may be making your fourth or fifth date a trip to the AIDS clinic. How much fun would that be? I think we’ll go get some cocktails, have some dinner and go get tested together. That sounds like a blast, doesn’t it?!

You are on a ten hour flight coming back from wherever you’ve been — from a secret location vacation. That’s what I like to call my vacations: secret location vacations. (We had a great time on ours by the way).

So we are nearly at the end of our ten hour flight back to Los Angeles, when the flight attendant becomes just really annoying. Here we are, watching our fourth movie and enjoying it. It was a really great movie called “My Sister’s Keeper,” and we’re getting close to the gut-wrenching end when the poor girl is dying of cancer.

Then, all of a sudden, the movie freezes on the screen as the flight attendant gets on the P.A. system to talk to us about . . . money. Yes, she wanted to announce that they were sending around a bag to collect money for UNICEF.

Now maybe if they had brought around a giant plastic pumpkin — or even one of those orange boxes like we used to use when I was a kid — then I might have given them my leftover change. To pass around a garbage bag, though, is just showing there there is no innovation.

It was also really annoying to have her go into this long speech about UNICEF when I just wanted to see the end of the movie. When the movie final did resume, the pilot gets on the speakers.

Who cares that we are almost there. Just land the plane. Then he gives us a guided tour of what is below us. As I am in a middle row, I can’t possibly see that we’re flying over Vegas.

Then the movie comes back on, except it is interrupted again by one of my favorite things in the world:the welcome to America video. It’s such a wonderful video. It teaches you how to make it through customs as if you are retarded.

Look, I’ve flown into England, Germany and lots of other countries, and nobody else plays a video about what to do when you get there. That’s part of the fun of going — not knowing what to do, what to claim and what to fill out.

The United States, however, has an entire patriotic video. Any of you who work for the government are probably cringing right now because I probably sound very anti-American.

The truth is that I am not anti-American at all. I just do not want to watch these videos . . . especially during a crucial part of the movie I’m trying to finish on the plane.

When they finally put the movie back on again, then the flight attendant comes over and says she wants to put my headphones away before we land in another 20 minutes. I looked at her and said, “No, you’ve already interrupted the move fourteen times.”

So if any of you work for the airlines, please help out and see what you can do about getting rid of those videos. Also, although I don’t mind giving money to causes, do we have to be asked while we’re on a plane?

We already give money everywhere we go. You are at the airport and a Hari Krishna hits you up before you hit the plane. You get off the plane, and some guy in a priest outfit is hitting you up for some type of Catholic school thing.

I mean everywhere you go, people are asking for money. Really, I’d like to see some ingenuity at least from the people asking me for the money. I’d like to see the first bum on the street with a credit card processing machining. That would really impress me. Instead of asking for change, they could tell you that they take PayPal, American Express, Visa and Master Card.

My feelings about airplanes would be different if the airlines offered better things on a plane. It would be different if when you boarded a plane, they asked if you were single and seated you with the other single people. I mean, how many times have you walked down the aisle of the plane toward your seat and thought, “Why aren’t I sitting next to THAT person?!”

You could change seats throughout the flights and get to socialize with lots of different people. They could designate a whole singles section in the back of the plane. It could be like a mini speed dating event in the back five rows.

They could have a section for each group. Singles could hang in the back few rows. Divorced people would sit in rows 3 through 7. Couples would hang out in a section together. There would be a section just for swingers. All all the screaming kids would be put in their own section.

Better yet, why not have an entirely separate plane just for kids. No adults, just the kids. Instead of flight attendants, there would be adult babysitters on the plane. They would walk around the plane serving three kinds of milk: breast, whole and skim. Can you imagine what those flight attendants would look like by the end of each trip? Green pea spit up on their shirts and all sorts of other craziness.

I actually think that singles should have their own plane . . . and even their own airline. On that airline, the cart would go around serving shots, cosmopolitans, martinis and Jaegermeister. Instead of peanuts, they would hand out condoms to each person.

There would be a special place for people to go to hook up and join the mile high club. If you think about it, this is a great idea and actually superior to other ways people meet and hook up.

Think if you were on a ten hour flight and ended up getting laid. Is that so crazy? People hook up all the time after two or three hours of talking to someone in a bar. Ten hours sitting and talking with someone on a plane is a long time to get to know someone. It’s like three dates worth of conversation smushed together into one trip.

On the singles airline, if you get laid on the flight you would earn triple miles. just think, three trips to Europe getting laid on each one and you’re executive platinum status. If you think executive platinum has benefits on American, on our airline you get your own waterbed in the back complete with a Hugh Hefner silk robe. Talk about priority seating. . .

This singles airline concept would definitely save the airline industry a lot better than collecting for UNICEF.