All of a sudden, the cell phone rings. And of course, like Pavlov did with his dogs, you’re trained to look at it.  You see a picture of your friend and their phone number and their name, all there.  You think to yourself, do I want to pick up or do I not want to pick up? Do I really want to talk to this person?  Are they going to zap me of my energy?  Are they going to keep my mood where it is right now?  Is the conversation going to be one-sided?  Am I even in the mood to talk to this person?

It’s always a mystery what your friend is going to say. Maybe your friend has been going through some major life issues and has been talking about it for the past month. So you know they’re going to talk about something that you don’t want to engage in anymore.

This is where new technology can really help us all. All these phones are linked up with Facebook and Twitter nowadays, so your pictures always show up when someone calls. But it’s always the same picture.

How about if someone came up with some software where the picture that shows up was live.  When you call someone, your camera phone would take a picture of you and display it as an icon. Now your friend can finally see exactly what you look like when you call.  Hell, you could be smiling, you could be angry, but he’ll know it right away.  That way he’ll see the live picture of you as you call and then decide whether he wants to be engaged, just like in real life.

If you see someone coming at you angry, you don’t want to talk to them.  If you see someone coming at you smiling, you naturally want to talk to them.  So if your friend is pissed off and angry and you’re in a great, mellow mood, you won’t pick up the phone.

That’s what I think is going to have to happen.  In order for our phone pick up ratio to increase, we’re going to need to see a live picture.  For dating, my God—it’s endless.

You have no idea if this woman is calling you or why she’s calling you.  You’re hoping at 11:00 when she calls you at night it’s a booty call, but in reality she could be calling just to chat. But with my new recognition software, you’ll see that she’s totally naked, vibrator by her side, thinking whether or not to use it. Or she’s wearing something sexy and she calls you, you know she’s look for action.

I think this is great!  A live picture of people so you know exactly how to respond to your phone, just like in real life. I think we have found the next level in dating, the next level in phone sex. Forget about it.  The next level in communication!

You’ll know whether to flirt or not to flirt. And how about all of you guys that have talked to customer service reps and you think they’re hot on the other end of the phone. You have no idea what they look like, but you think they’re hot, so you start flirting with them and it turns out they’re 80 years old, but they just had a young voice. Ha, but not with my facial recognition software!

You guys probably think I’m crazy. But I can guarantee you this stuff is going to come and it’s going to happen pretty soon.  It’s a great idea, but unfortunately, I just don’t know how to bring it to market.

Anybody want to help?  Anybody out there in Bloglandia want to help me bring this to market?  We will make millions billions together and have a lot of fun exposing people’s true intentions before they call.

We actually have a couple generations now that are missing things. Anybody born after the year 1980 is missing something. That thing is one of the beauties of making life work. It’s called the art of communication.

I see high school kids constantly on their phones texting. I see kids texting at age seven. I even saw a grandfather the other day in an elevator playing on his phone while his grandson was standing there bored. We’ve become a society of texters: people who no longer want to connect with the person standing next to them and would rather get into a heated text message conversation with somebody in a completely different location.

What is that? That’s called not being present.

Back when I was in my 20s, we didn’t have cell phones, and of course we didn’t have texting. Shit, we used to write phone numbers down on napkins and pieces of paper. And then if the other person didn’t pick up, we’d have to leave a message with whoever picked up and hope that the person we were trying to reach actually got the message.

And so in my 20s I was forced to learn how to be a good communicator. I was forced to learn how to go out there and talk to people every single day, because that was the only way I was really going to connect with people, by talking to them, by listening, and by being present.

These days we have a generation of shortcuts. I see a lot of the younger guys and the younger women asking me all the time for some kind of a shortcut to get the knowledge they want about dating and learning about the opposite sex. They want an F7 key for learning the art of seduction, or a Ctrl-8 key for getting a phone number, or Ctrl-C key so they can figure out how to make life work more smoothly.

There’s no shortcut to dating, and there’s no shortcut to life. Either you’re going to put in the time to learn how to be a good communicator, or you’re not. I don’t care if you’re a master at texting, if you can’t go out and meet people, what does it matter? Until they invent a way to meet people and get into a relationship via text so that you never have to look at somebody or talk to them, and all you do is bump into them and exchange information to show them what an amazing person you are, all the texting skills in the world won’t matter.

The bottom line is that if you do not spend time learning how to become a great communicator, you’re going to be alone. So put down the smart phone when you’re out and about. Stop incessantly texting people who aren’t in front of you sharing that moment with you. Take some time to connect with people who are sharing that moment with you.

I’m telling you, life is going to be far more enjoyable.

A lot of you are probably in front of your computer or on your phone right now, texting, e-mailing, you’re at different stages of planning out what you’re going to be doing tonight. You’ve waited all week for Friday night. This is going to be the night that you’re going to go out and meet a cool new woman. If all goes right, everything is going to change by the weekend, you’ll have one or two or even three prospective new dates, and your lifestyle is going to be different. You’re finally going to approach the woman you’re most attracted to.

Then what happens? As the night progresses, all those fears and excuses start creeping in. You get paralyzed. You stand around the bar. You do nothing.

Some of you may not even be reading this blog until late night Friday night, and you’ll say to yourself, “David, you just described my night. I was all jazzed. I was all excited. You’re right, slowly but surely, all my fears and excuses crept in and the next thing I knew, I was home again. I was staring at the ceiling, reviewing the night, and I finally came up with something really great to say to the woman I was attracted to, but it’s too late now.”

Here’s what I want all of you who read this blog early today to do. For those of you who are reading it late, do this exercise tomorrow night.

I want you to go out. I don’t want you to talk to a single person tonight. Not one person. I want you to observe, and I want you to watch, and I want you to understand the dynamic of what makes one guy fearless and successful with women, and another guy who goes home and masturbates, dreaming of the woman he wishes he could be with. I want you to watch the guys that are successful with women.

It doesn’t matter what they say, because I’m about to launch a brand new program that’s going to give you everything you need to say in these situations. I want you to take a look at their body language. I want you to take a look at what real attraction is. I want you to look at these guys and I want you to basically see how much fun they’re having. How engaging they are, how they use their hand motions, how they smile, how they walk with confidence. I want you to notice everything about them.

Now what I want you to do is I want you to look at yourself. No, don’t look directly at yourself in the mirror, but look at a guy just like you. I want you to find the guy who’s in the corner with his hands in his pockets, a clueless or frustrated look on his face, the kind of guy you can feel is really thinking with all the monkey chatter going on in his head.

I want you to look at that guy, and I want you to ask yourself this question: if you were a woman, who would you rather talk to? The guy who’s going around talking to everybody and generally just having a great time, or the guy who’s paralyzed in the corner waiting for the woman to go to the bathroom so he can chase her down and find the right moment to talk to her? The guy with that nervous energy who kinda scares people a little?

How do you feel? What type of emotion do you feel when you look at the guys who are having fun versus the guys who are not having fun? This is a great exercise that I have every single client do, any guy who’s ever been successful with women going out and meeting them on a Friday or Saturday night. Every guy goes through this exercise, because you have got to learn how to enjoy yourself before you can start meeting people. If you approach with nervous energy, nothing will happen, but if you approach with a smile while having a good time, the words don’t make a difference.

Note To All Men: If you are already subscribed to my email list you are well aware that next week I’m releasing a new product that is going to empower you to get over the BIGGEST issue you guys have when it comes to meeting women… approach anxiety. I hear it time and time again, and it was confirmed by thousands of survey responses taken by my email subscribers that have been pouring in the past couple of weeks.

I put together a video to help you learn how to kill approach anxiety to become natural with women, simply by using the power of observation!“

You’ve talked about it with them over and over and over again. You feel good after each conversation.

Then two or three days later, you realize you are about to have that same conversation again, because nothing has changed. Their mannerisms and their actions haven’t changed.

What you fail to realize in this situation, though, is that you can express your needs, emotions and desires over and over again but your partner has to want to satisfy them. It’s up to them to make the changes.

It’s up to them to see the importance in it for you. It’s up to them to have the compassion. It’s up to them to do the work at that point. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink (as the saying goes).

What’s interesting is that all of what I just said is also true about yourself. Have you ever had a conversation with yourself over and over again about a change you want to make?

Maybe it’s something like, “I’m going to start going to the gym and I am going to finally lose this weight.” You feel really great after you give yourself that pep talk. Three days later, however, you are right back on the couch eating a piece of cake. You feel lazy and you don’t do it.

This is how we run our own lives, so it’s even more difficult when it’s something we want someone else – like our partner – to do. It’s something that causes an uncomfortable dynamic in the relationship, but the bottom line is they have to want to do it. You can’t make them.

You must have full faith in the other person. Being an imperfect human being yourself, however, you know how hard it is to break your own habits.

So when you put these two dynamics in a relationship, it’s really frustrating. It could drive you up the wall, because you are battling over the same stuff over and over again. You are waiting for someone else to respond over and over again.

What’s the solution to this problem? The solution is to start working on your own stuff every single day.

If there is something that you do (or don’t do) that bothers your partner, then show them how you are working on your own stuff. Lead by example. Show them that you can make the changes, and that you can treat them the way they want to be treated.

If you lead by example, then the next time you have that conversation with your partner you can say “Look at how I have progressed. I need you to participate too.” give them the encouragement they need.

When I’m coaching someone, I’m the one who calls them out over and over on their shit. I do it nonstop, until they finally figure out what they need to do and do it. It’s all about small steps every single day.

When you want to work on this for yourself, the best way to do that is for you to take baby steps every single day. If it’s about approaching the opposite sex, then start by just saying hello for one day. If it’s about filling an emotional need that your partner has, then do one thing that day that makes them happy.

So the guy who fixes the heat came by the other day and finally looked at the thermostat. He said that the problem is that the thermostat is not communicating with the heat, i.e., that there is a communication breakdown between the two.

It’s interesting. If you really look at the way life is, it is a series of communication breakdowns.

Here you are just standing there wanting to approach a woman. Even though you do everything right — you observe, and you walk over and say something great — she may not respond to you the way that you imagine.

She doesn’t respond the way you want her to respond, so there then is a communication breakdown and you don’t know what to do next. Your brain is like a computer, and it starts firing off all sorts of things, but really it’s just a communication breakdown.

Communication breakdowns happen between people and things every single day. It could happen during the first approach, it could happen between two people in a relationship, and it could even happen with the water heater not communicating with the thermostat.

When it comes to communicating with people, though, you need to listen in order to avoid communication breakdowns. You need to listen to everything going on around you.

If it’s your first approach, you need to listen to every verbal clue that’s around you. You need to be observant, open, and talk to her based on something that’s going on around you. Then you need to listen very carefully to what she says so that you can react.

If you are not truly listening, there will be a communication breakdown and you won’t know what to say. It also means that you are approaching that woman just hoping that some words will come out of your mouth to say to her.

When you do this, you are no different than the thermostat that is not communicating with the radiant heat. You’re no different than when you’re on a Mac and that wheel of death spins because the Mac is not communicating with whatever program it’s trying to open.

The key to avoiding communication breakdowns in life is to listen — every time you talk to someone. I don’t care if it’s on your first approach or if you’re in a relationship.

Here’s a great exercise for all you to do. Take a look at somebody with whom you are in conflict. It can be anyone from a relationship partner to a co-worker to a family member.

The next time you speak with that person on the phone, record the conversation and listen to it after the call is finished. Then you need to learn what your part is in the communication breakdown that is taking place between you.

You can also do this with emails between you. Read an email exchange in which there is conflict between you and someone else and find where the communication breakdown occurred.

Who is to blame? It’s always right back at you.

This is going to really help you communicate better all the way from the first approach to long-term relationships. Life is just a series of communications, and without listening you are going to have a constant series of communication breakdowns.

I go through in depth how to have better communication with your partner in my Dating Principles For Great Relationships product. CLICK HERE to find more about it.

Whatever it was that they did, has that ever caused you to basically mirror that behavior back to them? Then you start blaming them for being the way that you are at that moment. You start getting angry at them for making you this way.

Sometimes you just can’t handle the way someone is processing something because it is not the way you would process it. They might process things negatively. They might process things positively.

There are so many different ways that people process things. If your partner processes things differently than you do, however, it might freak you out because it will feel like the person you’re with is disconnected from you.

It doesn’t mean that they stopped loving you. They might be unable to show you love at that moment or give you the love you need at that moment, but that doesn’t mean that they ever stopped loving you.

It’s just that right at that moment they need to process something in an entirely different way than you do. They are not getting space, but they really need space.

It is so important to give someone space in this situation. I know it’s hard because they might act mean or might be irritable. You’ve got to realize, though, that if they are taking the time (and the space) they need to process something, it is because they love you and want things to work out with you.

Now, there is a distinction between needing space to process and pulling back. If someone acts like this — mean and irritable — for weeks and weeks, then it’s not processing. It’s pulling back.

When someone’s actions cause you to feel stress, pain and anguish, what do you do? Most of us tend to mirror that person’s behaviors. You give them a taste of their own medicine and you act the way they’ve been acting.

You basically give them back what they’ve been giving you, and you rehash everything. The problem is that rehashing is poison. It is not healthy at all.

It is not healthy to rehash with all the “You-did-this-No-you-did-that” kind of talk. All you’re doing is rehashing the poison.

Maybe they didn’t do things the way you wanted to do it. Maybe they didn’t process things the way you wanted.

They may not come around until a day or two later, but isn’t love about forgiving? Isn’t love about understanding each other and being able to handle each other in ways that get us outside our comfort zone?

Love is about being able to say in that moment, “That’s just Bob (or Mary), and I can see by their behavior that that this is how they handle things. They’re trying to work on it but, in the meantime, it might still happen again. Nobody’s perfect.” Think about all of this for a minute.

So for tomorrow, I like the Ravens and the Giants not only to win — but to crush their opponents. Tomorrow will also be the day that the Lions finally win a game. The Redskins have shown nothing so far, and the Lions are due.

On to today’s blog, and it’s a good one . . .

This blog today comes right from my heart. The wisest person in life is not the one who knows everything. Sure, that person is pretty damn wise, but only if that person has actually experienced everything he or she knows.

There are a lot of “Mr. Humble” people out there. You know who that person is, don’t you? He’s that guy who who is NEVER humble?

He is the one who always has something to say about everything. He thinks he knows about everything even though he’s never experienced half of the things about which he talks.

The wisest people are those who can shut the hell up when something new and unknown comes into their life. “Mr. Humble,” on the other hand, is always feeling like he needs to contribute something to the conversation even if he knows nothing about it.

I know when something comes up in a conversation with which I’m not familiar, that I sit back and listen. I don’t let my ego get in the way. If the conversation is going in a direction that I’m unfamiliar with and I can’t control, I just kick back and listen. As I listen, I’m learning.

Life is a series of repeated experiences. Two weeks after that conversation where I kicked back and listened, I might find myself in another conversation about that same topic about which I previously knew nothing.

Because I sat back and listened the first time, I’m now able to contribute. By contributing to this new conversation, I earn respect and I learn even more about the topic.

People often over-talk because they think that people will respect them more if they have a lot to say. People, however, actually respect you less if you over-talk. If you don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s okay to sit back and listen.

The quiet, silent types are the ones who are always listening and learning. We all know people who will always contribute to the conversation, regardless of if they know about the topic or not.

It’s their ego talking. Their ego wants them to be the wisest person in the conversation. In reality, though, the wisest people I know talk half of the time, and listen the rest.

Do all of you talk this much?

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Do you constantly criticize others on things that you’re clueless about? Are you one of those know-it-alls that think you can run a business better than your boss can – even if you’ve never worked in a business like that before?

Or are you one of those people who, when someone asks you, “If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?” you answer, “nothing at all”?

You’re all ego. You’re 100% ego-driven. Your ego is so large that you can’t even accept yourself for who you are – including your faults.

You basically walk around all day long creating lies. You’re trying to hide behind things that you don’t know about quite yet – your ego is just that large. And everyone can see through it.

The people I respect the most in my life are the people who are real. I like to attract real people into my life. I like to attract people who are humble – people who are open.

Ego is the number one thing that can destroy us. Dr. Wayne Dyer – he’s someone who I’ve met and become friends with through my girlfriend – talks about ego in a lot of his books. I also talk about ego in a lot of my products.

Ego is something that you need to drop every single day. In my How to Become a Master Communicator course, you’ll learn about the ego and how to drop it. It teaches you how to be a REAL person – because that is what people are attracted to.

Nobody’s perfect. If you think that you are, it’s just your ego preventing you from growing as a person.

Besides how to meet the girl or the guy, we’re going to add some great products about how to have a great relationship.

I have found that for many of you the following is true: once you overcome MEETING someone, you still don’t really know how to date the person successfully. And many of you are just settling for relationships that you’re not really all that excited about.

So the first thing that I really want to discuss with you all is communication. Communication is the key to everything in a relationship – including intimacy.

Why? Because without communication, you’ll never really be able to connect – to really share your desires and wishes with your partner.

Intimacy is about more than just having great sex. Intimacy is being able to look deeply into your lover’s eyes and have an amazing conversation. Intimacy is also based on honesty.

If you have great communication in a relationship, you’ll have honesty as well. The two qualities just work hand-in-hand.

If you feel comfortable to talk to your lover about anything in the world, you’re being honest with yourself and with your partner.

Many of you are not the best communicators, and that’s something we need to work on. So over the next couple of months, we will really focus in on teaching you guys to be master communicators – both in the blogs as well as some of the products.

A new product will be coming out soon called the Master Communicator Series, where we will really work to practice these skills.

It is so important to be able to communicate – anything, to anybody! Recently Rey had an experience that I’m sure many of you will find familiar.

Rey was frustrated with some things at work that weren’t going well for him, and he took some things personally (which we ALL do). But instead of communicating it to me immediately, it escalated into something that it never should have.

Instant communication is important. When you’re frustrated and upset with someone, you need to realize that you must process it. The quicker that you process it, the better the communication will be.

If you keep things festering inside, when you finally do talk to the person a week later, what will happen? You’re going to have an emotional outburst – that will lead to confrontation – that will lead to bad feelings between you and the person that you love.

So, communication is key. How comfortable are you with your communication style? What can you improve? Be honest, and let me know in your comments. What are your strong points? Let’s communicate on this blog today and really open it up!