Craigslist is great; you can get bargains.

Wheels, tires, cars, children, furniture—you name it.

People post ads.

They post the ads and you can see the date that they posted it.

They don’t often give their phone number because they don’t want the phone ringing off the hook.

So the responses go to their e-mail.

But what is up with people and their crappy follow-up skills?

I saw a car that was posted last week—a beautiful Porsche Cayenne. You figure somebody wants to sell it, right?

So I e-mailed them immediately and asked if I could come check it out.

Guess what?

I haven’t gotten an e-mail back from them yet!

I’ve had this happen with other cars too. I’ve actually e-mailed people or texted them about their car and I’ll say, “Hi, is the car still for sale?”

Four days later they’ll write, “yes.”

Four days later.

And then you ask them if the price is negotiable and they write, “no.”

And all I keep thinking is that if you have really crappy sales skills, the price should be negotiable because at the rate that you get back to people, the person has already bought a car.

I even told that to somebody directly.

I said, “Hey, I’m looking to buy a car today, can we talk and deal?”

“Sure.”

And he never got back to me after that.  So I just made him an offer. It was pretty close to what he was asking, with a little added to it.

Nothing. Radio silence.

Then, four days later, he writes, “sounds good.”

I said, “Wow, it took you four days to say that? Sorry bud, but you just lost money.”

Here’s the deal, if you’re going to post an ad, be there to respond to the people that are looking.  Because the people who are looking and sending you messages about your ad want to buy something right away.

You see, they have money in their hands that they want to spend and they want to buy what you are putting up there.  And if you don’t get back to them quickly, they’ll go buy somebody else’s car; rent someone else’s apartment; go buy someone else’s bed—whatever it might be.

Don’t place classified ads unless you have the time to go get back to people, because it’s frustrating being on the other end.  It’s stressful.

When we’re looking to buy something, we want to buy it now.  There are other options and we may want yours but we don’t want to wait for you. So get with it.

Don’t put anything out there if you’re not ready for what’s going to come back to you.

Can you see how this relates to how you move through the world and what your dating life looks like?

Think about it.

Happy Mardi Gras from Shogo!!

We’ve got a new format on the blog that I’m really excited about–every Tuesday we’ll be sharing a video of my latest piece of advice and inspiration to carry you through your week.

Hope you enjoy this week’s clip and I’m looking forward to reading your comments!

Do you like to talk at people and dominate 75%-80% of the conversation? Or when you meet a group of people and the conversation is about something in which you are not interested, do you always seem to find a way to change the topic of conversation to something that does interest you (and something that will allow you to talk at people)?

Have you ever met a self-talker, or are you yourself a self-talker?

Self-talkers are the worst listeners in the world. All they like to do is constantly talk about themselves, their accomplishments, their achievements, their travels, their works, and whatever else about themselves it might be. They will manipulate every single conversation so it goes in their direction. They are some of the most irritating people in the world. When I run into self talkers I always look the other direction.

It’s funny how many guys (and women) will email me and say, “I joined this group or I was at this party the other day, and I just didn’t have anything at all to contribute to the conversation. Do you ever feel that way?”

If you don’t have anything to contribute to a conversation, it is because you’re not about listening and are a self-talker. It is because all you can ever do is talk about yourself, and you’re not listening to the conversation going on around you. Instead of adding to the conversation, all you are thinking about as you’re standing there is how you can change the conversation so it goes in your direction.

Self-talkers are the most boring people I’ve ever met. People who just talk at you for two hours straight are boring.

I don’t want to hear everything about you and your life. I just want to be able to participate in a conversation with a normal individual.

If you are a self-talker, then it’s time you really started listening to other people. Give the rest of the world a break and start listening and participating in a real conversation.

So the guy who fixes the heat came by the other day and finally looked at the thermostat. He said that the problem is that the thermostat is not communicating with the heat, i.e., that there is a communication breakdown between the two.

It’s interesting. If you really look at the way life is, it is a series of communication breakdowns.

Here you are just standing there wanting to approach a woman. Even though you do everything right — you observe, and you walk over and say something great — she may not respond to you the way that you imagine.

She doesn’t respond the way you want her to respond, so there then is a communication breakdown and you don’t know what to do next. Your brain is like a computer, and it starts firing off all sorts of things, but really it’s just a communication breakdown.

Communication breakdowns happen between people and things every single day. It could happen during the first approach, it could happen between two people in a relationship, and it could even happen with the water heater not communicating with the thermostat.

When it comes to communicating with people, though, you need to listen in order to avoid communication breakdowns. You need to listen to everything going on around you.

If it’s your first approach, you need to listen to every verbal clue that’s around you. You need to be observant, open, and talk to her based on something that’s going on around you. Then you need to listen very carefully to what she says so that you can react.

If you are not truly listening, there will be a communication breakdown and you won’t know what to say. It also means that you are approaching that woman just hoping that some words will come out of your mouth to say to her.

When you do this, you are no different than the thermostat that is not communicating with the radiant heat. You’re no different than when you’re on a Mac and that wheel of death spins because the Mac is not communicating with whatever program it’s trying to open.

The key to avoiding communication breakdowns in life is to listen — every time you talk to someone. I don’t care if it’s on your first approach or if you’re in a relationship.

Here’s a great exercise for all you to do. Take a look at somebody with whom you are in conflict. It can be anyone from a relationship partner to a co-worker to a family member.

The next time you speak with that person on the phone, record the conversation and listen to it after the call is finished. Then you need to learn what your part is in the communication breakdown that is taking place between you.

You can also do this with emails between you. Read an email exchange in which there is conflict between you and someone else and find where the communication breakdown occurred.

Who is to blame? It’s always right back at you.

This is going to really help you communicate better all the way from the first approach to long-term relationships. Life is just a series of communications, and without listening you are going to have a constant series of communication breakdowns.

I go through in depth how to have better communication with your partner in my Dating Principles For Great Relationships product. CLICK HERE to find more about it.

You know about whom I am talking. Take this example. You are playing basketball with a bunch of people, and there is always that one guy who never got over losing the high school championship.

He is being overly competitive, trash talking nonstop and arguing over every call. Every time you go up to make a shot, he fouls you but never says anything (although he taunts you afterwards).

Every time he goes up for a shot, however, he cries “foul!” even if you barely brushed him. He will start screaming at the ref, “Did you see that?! Didn’t you see him foul me?!”

Everybody allows this guy to act this way. They will just make light of it by saying something like, “That’s just Jim. Just get drunk with him later and he’ll be fine.”

How do you deal with this type of person, especially if you are not that guy who wants to wait for booze to bring out his “good personality?” How do you deal with this kind of person when they are in the midst of their bad behavior?

When you are confronted with someone like this who is confrontational by nature, you need to address them directly about it. So using the basketball example above, when the guy gets all out of sorts during a game you should look at him and say “Man, I come here to play to relax. I really do. You need to stop bitching. You sound like a woman on her period. You just nag, nag, nag. Do you ever listen to yourself? You complain nonstop. It’s enough already. Just play the game.”

You call the person out on their behavior, because people like this rarely are called out on their behavior. Everyone just allows them to act the way they do.

Then when someone does actually call them out, they will usually get a little defensive and say something like “Relax, I was just kidding.” All of a sudden you will see that person’s behavior completely change, and they will try to be your friend.

The reason their behavior will change is because they are actually waiting to be called out. People are strange sometimes. Why do they wait to be called out?

They are so used to being the guy who can push everyone around. They are so used to being being the guy who gets away with everything. So when someone actually stands up to them, they respect that person.

So the next time you are confronted with someone like this, be sure to call them out! It is what they really want you to do, and what you really need to do.

In order to become something in life, you need to learn something from everybody you meet. Everything in life that happens to you, happens to you for a reason.

This is not a revelation; it is all just plain truth. The real question, though, is what do you do with this? What do you take away from meeting each person with whom you come into contact?

Every day you should meet one more interesting person. Every day is a chance to learn. Every day you should be learning something about yourself and something about other people. Every day.

So you should be learning something every day, but you should also be teaching something every day. You should do this because while we are all students of life, we are also all teachers in life.

You are only as powerful as the people you meet and attract into your life. What do you do, though, if you don’t have a chance to meet a lot of people?

In that case, you need to set goals for yourself. The only way to go out there and meet people is to set a goal. Set goals like “I am going to carry on a conversation with three total strangers every single day.”

Understand that building your social network can also build your business network. It’s not just about attracting the opposite sex.

It’s also about becoming a stronger person. It’s about being somebody who has a powerful network.

So you must meet a lot of people in order to be successful. Just meeting a lot of people, however, is not enough. You also have to ask a lot of questions, learn from these experiences and embrace them.

In order to be the most well-rounded person you can be, you need to start building up your network. You’re only as successful as your network. If you crave success in life – no matter whether it’s monetary success, personal success, dating success or some other kind of success — you must cultivate that network and be able to really learn from everyone.

Don’t worry when you are in a situation in which people are talking about things you don’t know or about a subject you don’t know well. In those situations it is perfectly okay for you to just sit back and listen.

Say, for example, you are listening to a whole bunch of people talk about politics and you know very little about politics. Instead of trying to say something to add into the conversation, why not just kick back and listen for a minute or two . . . or even 20 or even 30?

History will always repeat itself. I guarantee you that down the road the same topic is going to come up in a conversation. Because you listened to those people and you became educated about that subject matter, you will be able to contribute to that conversation.

So, cultivate a powerful network in life. If you cultivate a powerful network, you are going to be a success in every aspect of your life.

Reach out to people. Send an email to someone you have always wanted to meet.

Is there someone that you want to mentor you? Send an email to them telling them how much you love their work, and that you would love to ask them some questions. You can also tell them that the number one question you have is, “What does it take to be as successful as you?”

Everyone loves to talk about themselves. People will share themselves with someone they know is interested, because everyone who is successful remembers that at some point in their life they had a mentor who helped them.

So it’s time to build up your network and become as successful as you want to be!

My football record stands on its own at 12-1. 12-1 is pretty good I think. The Titans are my only blemish. So, with that, I am going to go out on a limb and tell you which teams I’m picking this week

.

The Giants are going to dominate over the high school quarterback led Oakland Raiders. The Vikings will be victorious over the Rams and its equally inept quarterback. Really, the Rams aren’t rams at all; they’re more like goats.

The Ravens will beat the Bengals. I’m not buying all the hype about the Bengals yet.

Here’s another tough pick. The Eagles will beat the Buccaneers. Let me tell you, Jon Gruden is laughing every single day. They fired him? Are you kidding me?

Braylon Edwards will catch a pass and lead the Jets to a victory over the finless Dolphins. The Patriots will win big.

Denver is going down this week. Is that not the worst 4-0 team you’ve ever seen?

Dante Culpepper will wish he was still on the bench after the Steelers destroy him on Sunday. As for the Buffalo vs Cleveland game, really who cares? It’s not even worth predicting.

As for Dallas, Tony Romo better start learning that finding the end zone is not as easy as finding one of his celebrity girlfriends. Maybe he should go back and run one of his family’s rib businesses. Tony Romo notwithstanding, Dallas will squeak a win out this week.

What is it about ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends? They seem to somehow know the exact wrong time to text you.

Here you are, about to have sex with your partner, and all of a sudden there it is. You hear that certain beep telling you that you have just received a text message.

You think to yourself, “Oh man, who is texting me? It’s really late. Who is texting me?” You get nervous about those 1:00 a.m. texts that come in.

It’s nerve-racking, because the only one who should be texting you at 1:00 a.m. is the person with whom you are laying in bed at that very moment. So you keep wondering who texted, until you can’t stand it anymore and you instinctively check your phone like Pavlov’s Dog.

At first you are relieved and you think, “Whew! Thank God it’s not me.” Then all of a sudden you notice that it is your partner’s phone that is blinking. You both have the same “beep” for incoming text messages, and the beep that you heard is theirs (not yours).

Now you think to yourself, “Oh man, I know EXACTLY who just texted them. It’s the ex.”

So here you are laying in bed, either just about to have sex or just having had great sex, and you have to have “the ex talk.” You may have already had the ex talk before several times. When that ex intrudes into your personal space at 1:00 a.m., however, that ex talk goes into a whole other dimension.

You will lay there wondering what your partner is thinking and feeling. You will want to know what the emotions are that they are experiencing, and how they are feeling at that moment about their ex.

Ex’s are a very powerful influence in a relationship. Even though you are with somebody new and you are sharing amazing feelings together, you will still wonder what your partner is thinking and feeling about their ex when a text comes in like that.

You tell yourself that you are not going to let your paranoid mind take over. After all, it is you who is laying next to then (and not the ex). You are the one with whom they are now hanging out and sharing feelings.

Regardless, you have that ex talk right there and then at 1:00 a.m. You are wondering about it, and your partner really needs to let out whatever is on their mind about it.

You need to be 100% okay with whatever they say, because the topic needs to come up and your partner needs to get out what is on their mind. Eventually, your partner is going to need to confront the ex issue, because at some point the ex needs to stop holding on to whatever part of that old relationship to which they are clinging.

The key is that your partner needs to feel that there is an open space where they can talk to you no matter what is going on and no matter what they have to say. They need to feel like they can talk to you anytime and about anything, because building a relationship is all about open lines of communication. That is the only way that two people are going to get close.

I am always fine with the ex talk because I like clean slates. Both people need to have clean slates when you’re in a relationship, and sometimes you need to clean those slates together to get there.

You’ve got to deal with things. Relationships are all about supporting one another.

So for tomorrow, I like the Ravens and the Giants not only to win — but to crush their opponents. Tomorrow will also be the day that the Lions finally win a game. The Redskins have shown nothing so far, and the Lions are due.

On to today’s blog, and it’s a good one . . .

This blog today comes right from my heart. The wisest person in life is not the one who knows everything. Sure, that person is pretty damn wise, but only if that person has actually experienced everything he or she knows.

There are a lot of “Mr. Humble” people out there. You know who that person is, don’t you? He’s that guy who who is NEVER humble?

He is the one who always has something to say about everything. He thinks he knows about everything even though he’s never experienced half of the things about which he talks.

The wisest people are those who can shut the hell up when something new and unknown comes into their life. “Mr. Humble,” on the other hand, is always feeling like he needs to contribute something to the conversation even if he knows nothing about it.

I know when something comes up in a conversation with which I’m not familiar, that I sit back and listen. I don’t let my ego get in the way. If the conversation is going in a direction that I’m unfamiliar with and I can’t control, I just kick back and listen. As I listen, I’m learning.

Life is a series of repeated experiences. Two weeks after that conversation where I kicked back and listened, I might find myself in another conversation about that same topic about which I previously knew nothing.

Because I sat back and listened the first time, I’m now able to contribute. By contributing to this new conversation, I earn respect and I learn even more about the topic.

People often over-talk because they think that people will respect them more if they have a lot to say. People, however, actually respect you less if you over-talk. If you don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s okay to sit back and listen.

The quiet, silent types are the ones who are always listening and learning. We all know people who will always contribute to the conversation, regardless of if they know about the topic or not.

It’s their ego talking. Their ego wants them to be the wisest person in the conversation. In reality, though, the wisest people I know talk half of the time, and listen the rest.