Dating Tips and Dating Advice by David Wygant » cock block

How To Prevent Cock Blocking Once and For All!

David Wygant — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 19:52:56 +0000

Hey guys, Shogo here and first off… happy 11/11/11!

Now it’s been a while since I wrote anything about bars and clubs. To be honest, it’s been a while since I’ve been out to any clubs. But I’m going to be out on the town this weekend with some friends, so I figured I’ll put you guys in the right mindset with a question that comes from an email I got last week:

Hey Shogo,

Thanks so much for the coaching call yesterday, I got some great advice out of it and can’t wait to put it to use. One question. Could you help me out with cock blocks in a bar or club, they can be very annoying and ignorant I find and I’ve been cockblocked now and again. So what could ya say to the guy to stop?

J, Ireland

Hey J,

Here’s how I feel about cock blocking. I never get cock blocked. It just doesn’t happen to me. So what that means is that cock blocking has nothing to do with another guy being an asshole, swooping in and taking “your” woman. It’s got everything to do with YOU. You can learn all the quick and witty comeback lines and banter you want to be prepared for a so-called cock block, but it’s not going to stop it from happening to you.

Because cock blocking only happens to certain types of guys. And it happens to them over and over again.

Guys who are very hesitant about expressing themselves to a woman. Guys who don’t claim their space. Guys who keep their distance and are afraid to get close out of fear that he’s offending her or coming across as “giving her the wrong idea”.

When you do that, other guys will notice it and see that there is no chemistry there. Maybe you just look like friends. Maybe a guy is an asshole, and sees an opportunity there to come in and take her away. In any case, she’s clear for the taking to any other swinging dick who walks by.

Cock blocking happens to guys who don’t intrigue women. If she is interested in you and the conversation you are having, she will stand there and listen to everything you have to say. When she’s not into you, her eyes will start darting across the room, hoping for her friend or some other more interesting guy to come rescue her.

When that starts happening, you’re done. Nothing can save you. She’ll pray for someone else to come join the conversation. She’ll be totally open to starting a conversation and flirting with another guy who’s around her. And a guy who sees that will jump right in. Sometimes she’ll start a conversation with another guy. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone up to the bar to get a drink, and a girl standing there will turn and start talking to me while another guy was just in mid-conversation with her.

Then I’d look over her at the poor guy’s disillusioned face and give him a little shrug. Does that make me a cock-block? Does that make me an asshole? No. It means she was bored to death with the other guy and wanted talk to me instead. It means the other guy needed some coaching—not on how to deal with cock blocks, but on how to keep her intrigued. Because I’m no better than the guy who just got shoved out of the picture. But I’m much better in conversation.

Cock blocking happens to guys who don’t claim their own space and walk over with confidence and start great conversations with women everywhere they go. Cockblocking happens to guys who talk to one or two women a night, and then CLING onto those conversations like their lives depended on it.

Sound familiar, victim of cock blocking?

You sit in the corner of the bar, waiting for what to say to that one girl you’ve been looking at for the past 45 minutes, then you finally get up the guts to approach her and hope it really works out because this is your one shot for the night.

Instead you try and try and try with that one girl you finally approached, even when there’s no chemistry. And the more you try with a girl who’s only lukewarm about you, the longer you stand there struggling, the more likely some guy with dimples and a great smile is going to wink at her and jump in to the rescue.

So you’re still asking why you need to start conversations with women everywhere? This is why. Because when you start doing that, you will start having an abundance mindset. You’ll start approaching women everywhere. When I go out, I talk to girls everywhere. Quick, 30-second conversations. If there’s no chemistry, if she doesn’t want to talk to me, I move on. I don’t stand around in a shitty conversation, struggling to make things happen, and wait to be cock blocked by some guy she likes better than me.

You think you’ve been cock blocked, but you really just cock blocked yourself.

Stop Listening To Your Friends

David Wygant — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 19:20:02 +0000

Todays blog is for the women of my world. I am giving you some love and advice on this 100 degree day in October.

Those Santa Ana winds keep blowing in and cooking the world of DW!

Todays video is my thoughts on VH1 The Pickup Artist show with Mystery.

Women of all ages seem to have an unstoppable need to gather and heed their friends’ advice when it comes to dating – particularly when it comes to “analyzing” how well dates go (or don’t go as the case may be). Let me tell you – this practice is NOT helping you in your dating life.

It’s time to stop listening to your friends. You get to a point in your life as a woman when you’ve got to start listening to yourself. That time is right now!

Women always talk about their “women’s intuition” and how great it is at just knowing what is really going on in any situation. If that’s the case, though, why does every woman seem compelled to go to her friends with a blow-by-blow description of their dates seeking her friends’ opinions?

Start listening to yourself. Start trusting yourself a little bit!

Your friends were not on that date with you last night. They can’t break it down.

Remember that great Sex And The City episode that spawned that really bad book “He’s Just Not That Into You” (which has now spawned a movie of the same title)? Just like the scene in that episode, a lot of women will get together to do what I call a “post-date recap.”

Now, granted, a lot of guys will do a “post-date recap” with their friends as well. They’ll talk about the moment they talked about their crazy uncle and will worry about the fact that he brought that up and whether the fact that he did ruined the date. Just like the women, his friends will break down the date and agree with him.

Friends are meant to agree with you. Think about this. If you walk around a room telling your friends that there are no good men to meet, your friends will say “absolutely” and agree with you because they’re your friends and you think alike.

When it comes to dating, you’ve got to start relying on your friends less and trusting yourself more. You’ve got to trust your own experiences. You need to trust your heart.

You need to trust your own intuition, because your friends are never going to be there on that date with you. They’re never going to see the man’s facial expressions and body language.

Not only that, but the “post-date recap” hell will drive you crazy. There is nothing you can do in terms of breaking down that date that will give you all the answers you want to know. If a guy doesn’t call you after a date, then in that situation I agree with that book that he’s just not that into you – plain and simple. It’s no different than when you don’t call a guy back – it means that you are not into him.

So you can post-date recap with your friends all you want, but you’ve got to stop listening to your friends as far as what you take away from that date. You need to start accepting things as they come, because sometimes in life things just don’t work out with men you meet . . . for whatever reason.

The thing about dating that drives everyone crazy – both men and women – is that it doesn’t work out most of the time. It’s no big deal . . . and you need to start understanding and believing that it’s no big deal.

Just the other week I went on a date with a very sexy redhead with whom I was interested in going on a second date. I sent her a very cute email the very next day after our first date, and she never emailed me back.

What did I do? I didn’t sit there torturing the people I work with trying to figure out why she didn’t reply to my email. I didn’t call my friends and go through a long play-by-play post-date recap trying to figure out if I said something wrong. I just let it be, because the situation is what it is – it doesn’t matter why she didn’t email me back..

Sometimes there just isn’t a deeper meaning to why things don’t go well on a date. Women are always looking for that deeper meaning in things, and sometimes there just isn’t one.

Sometimes you’ve just got to let it go. So stop trying to break down every date, stop listening to your friends, let it go and move on to someone else.

This is the same advice I give men – and I give it for the same reason. If you don’t let these things go, what happens is that you spend all your time thinking about someone who doesn’t want you while you miss all the opportunities that are out there to meet people who DO want you.

Todays video is my video reaction to Mysterys VH1 Pickup Artist show.