He asked me the same question over and over again.

It’s a question that a lot of guys ask me:

“What do you think of the women that just don’t want to talk to you?”

And…

“I don’t understand why they just don’t want to talk to me. Shouldn’t I be able to relate to them?”

Take a look at what I just wrote.

Shouldn’t I be able to relate to them?

Think about this for a second:

Do you get along with everybody at work? Are you friends with everybody at work, or is there one or two people that you just really don’t like?

You know, they walk into the office and you just want to avoid them. You could both be walking to the water cooler, and even though you’re thirsty, you’d turn and walk back to your desk.

You know, the person that traps you in the bathroom and talks your ear off or the person you don’t want to ride the elevator down with. They always just rub you the wrong way.

When you go out and meet a bunch of guys, like at a friend’s backyard BBQ, do you like every one of them? There’s that guy, with the breath, drinking his Natural Ice, and he starts talking to you nonstop and you’re just like, “Dude, you’re boring.”

When you go to the gym and work out, aren’t there just some people there that you just don’t ever want to talk to? There’s something about them that just turns you off. You’ve tried to have conversations with them, and they’re just not really fun to talk to. They’re boring.

Do you see what I’m getting at here?

How come, when it comes down to the same sex or coworkers, you don’t care? I never hear any of you whining, “Oh my God, I went to this party last night, and there was this dude there, man, and he just — he just — I don’t know. He just rejected me, didn’t want to talk to me. I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?”

I’ve never heard any guys say, “Man, I was at the gym tonight, and I was working out, and this guy walked into my set, and he just like — I don’t know, man. He just didn’t seem to like me at all. I don’t understand. Why didn’t he like me? I tried to talk to him while he was benching and he just didn’t want to talk to me at all. It’s like…I don’t get it. Why doesn’t he like me? What’s wrong? Is there anything wrong with me?”

You don’t say this, because you don’t care.

There are people in life that you just don’t get along with; people that you don’t have chemistry with; people that you have nothing in common with.

It’s the same way with women.

But yet, why are you so obsessed with women—trying to get all of them to like you, all of them to want to be with you? You think that there’s some magic that allows you to basically have chemistry with every woman you meet.

And why do you get so freaked out when a woman that you handpicked does not want to talk to you at all? Why does it bother you? She’s just another person.

If she were a dude, you wouldn’t care at all.

But because she’s a woman, you get all bent out of shape and then you think there’s something wrong with you.

You need to keep the same principles in line when communicating with either men or women.

I could care less if a woman doesn’t want to talk to me or a man doesn’t want to talk to me. I could care less. It means that just there’s nothing going on. We’ve got nothing in common. We have no chemistry. There’s no spark between us.

I don’t care. It doesn’t bother me, not even for a second.

I feel great when I walk away from somebody who I just don’t relate to. And that’s the key here: feeling really amazing about yourself. Being able to cultivate that feeling every single day is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself.

By doing this and becoming a powerful person, you’re going to walk around with a lot more self confidence and you’ll see yourself a lot higher in the pecking order of life.

Go out and have fun. Be amazing. Be awesome.

And don’t feel bad if everybody else can’t relate to your high level of awesomeness.

Sometimes life is like a soap opera, but the story I’m about to tell you is something that even my writer friends here in Los Angeles could not have made up. You are truly not going to believe what I’m about to share with you. This story is so outrageous that it is just about the only relief I’ve had in the last week.

For any of you who don’t know, Daphne (my beloved English Labrador) had two tumors removed last Tuesday. I sweated the pathology report all week long. At around 5:00 pm on Friday, the vet finally called me back.

He told me that Daphne has two mast cell tumors – one Grade I and one Grade II. Luckily the margins were clean on both and we had caught them in time. This dog is now going on a health regimen with herbs and healthy foods like her owner, because there’s NO way I’m going to lose her.

So it was a tough week last week . . . until I heard this story I’m about to tell you. You are about to see just how much influence a girlfriend should (and should not) have in a relationship.

Before I tell you about all the players in this drama, I need to provide you with some background information. I have been playing in a fantasy football league that has been around for six years and which is comprised mostly of childhood friends of mine.

This year we decided to expand to twelve teams and add two new members to our league. One new member is another of our childhood friends, and the other is a guy who does marketing for me. This all sounds very innocent so far, doesn’t it?

Well, apparently six years ago when everyone was drunk at a party, one of our new members (the childhood friend) copped a feel of the behind of one of our other member’s girlfriend. Now keep in mind that this happened six years ago, everyone was drunk and apologies were exchanged LONG ago.

So let me introduce the cast of characters to you. Of course, ALL NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED . . . TO PROTECT THE INSANE.

We’ll call our ass groper “Kevin.”
We’ll call the groped girlfriend “Kate.”
And we’ll call the groped girlfriend’s boyfriend “Peter.”

Poor Kevin is not crazy or a pervert, he just likes women. He actually has a history of groping, but at least he’s honest about it.

The real question is whether deep down Kate is actually very turned on by Kevin, and it’s her guilt that is causing this whole crazy situation in the first place. (Don’t worry, I’m getting to the good part shortly!) Notably, Kate’s portrayal of the groping was a manifested lie. She turned a simple ass-pat into something FAR more sexual.

The irony is that Kate’s perfect Peter really is a pervert. When he was eight years old and away at summer camp, he asked me to send him a box of condoms. I mean what was he going to do with them there? Blow them up and make circus animals for his bunkmates?

So back to the story . . .

You won’t believe what happened this week. After our new members were in and the draft order had been set, Peter all of a sudden had a seeming change of heart and decided he can’t play in the fantasy league with his groping friend Kevin. As we dug deeper and heard more, the real story emerged.

It turns out that Kate had called up our fantasy football league commissioner and talked to him for a FEW HOURS about why Kevin should not be allowed in the league. You heard me correctly – she called the commissioner! Even worse, she did so while Peter was on the line listening but forbidden to speak (like a trained puppy).

If your jaw has already dropped, hold on because the story gets even crazier. After calling the commissioner, Kate then called another one of the league participants and spent TWO HOURS explaining to him why Peter is not allowed to play in the league with someone who groped her ass six years ago while everyone was drunk.

I know by this point you are sure this story is a joke, but let me assure you that I’m not making any of this up. Every part of this story really happened in the last seven days.

Keep in mind that this is a fantasy football league. We don’t even sit in a room together to watch games. It’s FANTASTY! It’s not real.

We’re not even hanging on the same therapy couch together after all of this. I have been playing in this league for five years and have yet to ever meet some of the members. Of course we exchange emails over the course of the season, but that’s about it.

Now our friend Peter, who’s dating meddling girlfriend Kate, has always been pretty weak. He’s allowed his mother to control him. He’s allowed his dad to control him. Now he has Kate, an older girlfriend he allows to control his every move. The sad thing is he’s actually a great guy – a little quirky, but a great guy I’ve known almost my entire life.

This next part of the story will make your jaw drop even further. Since the day Peter met Kate seven years ago, she has NEVER worked. He supports her. He, however, doesn’t work either. His trust fund supports them both.

As you can see we’re not talking about a normal relationship to begin with here. We’re talking about two people who have WAY too much time on their hands. You clearly have way too much free time if you have time to analyze to this extent which people in a fantasy football league should (and should not) have the right to play.

A relationship should be based on allowing your partner to have their own interests – including being able to play with their friends whether you like them or not! Your partner should never ever be in the position of getting to approve (or disapprove) of everything you do in your life. That is not having a relationship.

That is a man living with his mother. He might as well send an email to all the players in the league saying “Mommy won’t let me play after school with Kevin the groper anymore!” We’ve all done dumb things when we’re drunk that we’ve regretted . . . but this is ridiculous!

In relationships, you should NEVER control your partner. Not only that, but if you let your partner control everything you do, you need to look in the mirror and see who you are as a person.

Let’s remember that this whole thing blew up over FANTASY FOOTBALL! I can understand Kate not wanting to have Kevin the groper over to her house for a party, but to not allow your partner to play with him in a fantasy football league where everything is conducted via email is just plain psychotic!

I could maybe even understand this a little bit (and I do mean little!) if the groping had occurred yesterday, but it happened SIX years ago and apologies were exchanged. Give me a break!

By the way, if this story has you thinking that we’re talking about a group of college-aged kids, think again. Peter, the friend in question who can’t think for himself, is 38 years old. Kate, the meddling girlfriend, is 52 years old.

So today in honor of what’s occurred, I am sending them a care package in the mail. I was cleaning out my house last Sunday, and found a collar that Daphne doesn’t wear anymore. I also found a training leash, one of those long ones that will give my friend some extra room in case he still wants to run on a leash. I’m heading to FedEx right now, in fact, because I don’t want Kate to lose track of her rich boyfriend at any time.

Oh . . . and if any of you have any extra bones, or anything else you’d like to send to my friend Peter, please let me know. We can put together a nice big care package to send to him.