You are on a ten hour flight coming back from wherever you’ve been — from a secret location vacation. That’s what I like to call my vacations: secret location vacations. (We had a great time on ours by the way).

So we are nearly at the end of our ten hour flight back to Los Angeles, when the flight attendant becomes just really annoying. Here we are, watching our fourth movie and enjoying it. It was a really great movie called “My Sister’s Keeper,” and we’re getting close to the gut-wrenching end when the poor girl is dying of cancer.

Then, all of a sudden, the movie freezes on the screen as the flight attendant gets on the P.A. system to talk to us about . . . money. Yes, she wanted to announce that they were sending around a bag to collect money for UNICEF.

Now maybe if they had brought around a giant plastic pumpkin — or even one of those orange boxes like we used to use when I was a kid — then I might have given them my leftover change. To pass around a garbage bag, though, is just showing there there is no innovation.

It was also really annoying to have her go into this long speech about UNICEF when I just wanted to see the end of the movie. When the movie final did resume, the pilot gets on the speakers.

Who cares that we are almost there. Just land the plane. Then he gives us a guided tour of what is below us. As I am in a middle row, I can’t possibly see that we’re flying over Vegas.

Then the movie comes back on, except it is interrupted again by one of my favorite things in the world:the welcome to America video. It’s such a wonderful video. It teaches you how to make it through customs as if you are retarded.

Look, I’ve flown into England, Germany and lots of other countries, and nobody else plays a video about what to do when you get there. That’s part of the fun of going — not knowing what to do, what to claim and what to fill out.

The United States, however, has an entire patriotic video. Any of you who work for the government are probably cringing right now because I probably sound very anti-American.

The truth is that I am not anti-American at all. I just do not want to watch these videos . . . especially during a crucial part of the movie I’m trying to finish on the plane.

When they finally put the movie back on again, then the flight attendant comes over and says she wants to put my headphones away before we land in another 20 minutes. I looked at her and said, “No, you’ve already interrupted the move fourteen times.”

So if any of you work for the airlines, please help out and see what you can do about getting rid of those videos. Also, although I don’t mind giving money to causes, do we have to be asked while we’re on a plane?

We already give money everywhere we go. You are at the airport and a Hari Krishna hits you up before you hit the plane. You get off the plane, and some guy in a priest outfit is hitting you up for some type of Catholic school thing.

I mean everywhere you go, people are asking for money. Really, I’d like to see some ingenuity at least from the people asking me for the money. I’d like to see the first bum on the street with a credit card processing machining. That would really impress me. Instead of asking for change, they could tell you that they take PayPal, American Express, Visa and Master Card.

My feelings about airplanes would be different if the airlines offered better things on a plane. It would be different if when you boarded a plane, they asked if you were single and seated you with the other single people. I mean, how many times have you walked down the aisle of the plane toward your seat and thought, “Why aren’t I sitting next to THAT person?!”

You could change seats throughout the flights and get to socialize with lots of different people. They could designate a whole singles section in the back of the plane. It could be like a mini speed dating event in the back five rows.

They could have a section for each group. Singles could hang in the back few rows. Divorced people would sit in rows 3 through 7. Couples would hang out in a section together. There would be a section just for swingers. All all the screaming kids would be put in their own section.

Better yet, why not have an entirely separate plane just for kids. No adults, just the kids. Instead of flight attendants, there would be adult babysitters on the plane. They would walk around the plane serving three kinds of milk: breast, whole and skim. Can you imagine what those flight attendants would look like by the end of each trip? Green pea spit up on their shirts and all sorts of other craziness.

I actually think that singles should have their own plane . . . and even their own airline. On that airline, the cart would go around serving shots, cosmopolitans, martinis and Jaegermeister. Instead of peanuts, they would hand out condoms to each person.

There would be a special place for people to go to hook up and join the mile high club. If you think about it, this is a great idea and actually superior to other ways people meet and hook up.

Think if you were on a ten hour flight and ended up getting laid. Is that so crazy? People hook up all the time after two or three hours of talking to someone in a bar. Ten hours sitting and talking with someone on a plane is a long time to get to know someone. It’s like three dates worth of conversation smushed together into one trip.

On the singles airline, if you get laid on the flight you would earn triple miles. just think, three trips to Europe getting laid on each one and you’re executive platinum status. If you think executive platinum has benefits on American, on our airline you get your own waterbed in the back complete with a Hugh Hefner silk robe. Talk about priority seating. . .

This singles airline concept would definitely save the airline industry a lot better than collecting for UNICEF.

I’ve been asked to come clean.

I’m hanging out with Khiem, Tony and Rey. Rey is no longer Intern Rey, he’s now Assistant Rey. He’s graduated. Who knows what is going to happen down the road for Rey? He now has a new title, and he loves it.

As we’re walking down the beach right now, we’re taking Daphne – Coach Daphne, of course – we’re walking down the beach in Marina del Ray, and it’s about sunset. Rey just keeps pointing out different houses that I should move into.

Does he want me to actually live there? Does he care that it’s probably like $7,000 per month to rent the place? I think that there’s a selfish reason there – I think Rey’s reason for wanting me to live there is that he has a surfboard and while the office is cool enough already, it would be MUCH cooler if he could take surf breaks in the middle of the day.

Not only that, but I could picture Rey running the barbeque throughout the whole day. “Hey, are you guys hungry? I’m going to flip these burgers and then go catch some waves.” It’s okay, Rey, don’t worry about it. Just keep dreaming!

So we’re just kind of talking about women, and what type of women I like to date. I never really talk about myself on the blog – well, only sometimes. Recently I’ve been talking a little bit about myself. But what type of woman do I like to date?

I’ll just tell you straight out: if she’s under the age of 30, I’m not really that interested. I’m not interested for a few reasons. For one, I don’t really want to relive my dramatic twenties. No offense – I have friends in their twenties, I have lots of people I work with in their twenties, and I love them dearly – but I really just don’t want to relive my twenties.

It’s not that I didn’t enjoy my twenties. There were a lot of interesting moments during that decade, and moments of real growth, but I like a woman who is more – and we’ll get to this debatable topic in a second – I like a woman who is more grounded.

I like someone who is very balanced. They have a balance between their career and their passions. I’m interested in a woman who has spent a lot of time basically working on herself. A woman who has taken the time to get to know herself, and who has taken the time to really explore herself – mentally, sexually, emotionally and intellectually.

And really, this is what you are doing throughout your twenties. You’re spending your twenties exploring yourself emotionally, intellectually, sexually, and in terms of your career. You’re doing everything in your twenties.

That’s the great thing about this decade of your life. You are spending that time getting to know who you are and what you are all about. You’re defining your identity.

So when a woman is defining her identity, leave her alone and let her do that! It’s funny, because I know a lot of guys who are my age and love dating these younger women. I just have no patience for them. It’s not that I don’t like them, or that I wouldn’t be friends with them – I just don’t want to date them. I’d rather spend my time with somebody who knows who they are, about their identity, and what they are all about.

But we’re all different. Everybody is looking for something different. Khiem, who is in his twenties, dates women in their twenties. But he had an interesting emotional experience with an older woman over the weekend, and I want him to describe the difference.

Khiem: Basically, I went out this weekend with two girls as friends, not as dates. One of the women was in her forties, married, and the other one is in her mid-twenties and single. We all enjoyed each others’ company, but I ended up talking to the woman in her forties much more because she was much more self-assured.

She could speak well, she could relate to me better. I would try to bring the conversation back to the woman in her twenties as well, but she was just shyer. She was very cute, very petite, but there was something that was blocking her from really opening up.

The interesting thing for me was that while I know they both enjoyed their time with me – I took them out and showed them a great time, we had great conversations, so there’s no issue there, but after the weekend, the married woman in her forties called me to thank me for a great time. She told me how she wanted to do it again.

It was unexpected – I was taking them out because they were my friends, not because I expected anything, but she was willing to show appreciation. A lot of times, younger women don’t know how to do this. They are not secure enough in themselves to show appreciation to the men in their lives.

David: Well, and younger women also don’t really know exactly what they want yet, so they are really still sampling. A lot of them still have their expectations as well, so they don’t know when to give back or make the call. They don’t know how to reciprocate.

I hate to say this, and women in your twenties, don’t get your panties in a knot, but a lot of younger women are takers. A lot of younger guys are takers as well. They are both takers, which is fine, because at that phase of your life, you are a taker. You are learning exactly who you are. When you are learning about who you are, you’re taking things from people: experiences and other things. That’s what you’re about at that stage of your life.

Now Tony is 29, and he’s on the cusp of coming out of his twenties. What are you more attracted to now?

Tony: I would say older women – for relationships. For flings, younger women are alright, but as Khiem described, it’s difficult to have good conversations, open communication, or genuine reciprocation and sharing with younger women. I shouldn’t say you can’t – there are younger women that are exceptions. But my better experiences have been with women in their mid-thirties – even up to 40.

David: Because they are more aware sexually, and emotionally. And there are no games!

Tony: Exactly. And they appreciate guys who know what they want, and express it openly. They don’t have as many hang-ups.

Khiem: There’s a girl that I’m seeing right now in her mid-twenties, and I love helping her explore her sexuality. At the same time, I know that there are a lot of guys that don’t know how to do that. They are just into bam-bam-bam, that’s it. It takes a certain kind of man or woman to really explore that.

Tony: The cool thing with a younger woman is that you can help steward them…

Khiem: Yes, you can mold them.

Tony: And guide them, and lead them through experiences that guys their age wouldn’t be able to do. I think that’s why they appreciate older men.

David: I was always into very long sex sessions. I was never a jackrabbit minuteman. The first time I had sex I think I lost it in about three and a half seconds, but since then I’ve always been about controlling it and giving women a great experience.

I’ve never been sexually turned on unless I can really play with a woman – unless I can really give her a great experience. To me, that whole connection is really important.

But it’s so funny because I remember when I was in my twenties and the sexual experiences I had with women were just annoying. It was so inconsistent. One day they would be sexually present and have a great time, and the next night you’d be begging for sex.

Women in their twenties are still dealing with a lot of the Catholic guilt that we were talking about earlier, or upbringing stuff – they’re not yet comfortable with their bodies, and they are still comparing themselves to their friends. They aren’t yet in love with themselves because they don’t know themselves yet. We’ll talk about the Catholic guilt topic another day, because that is a HUGE subject that we get a lot of emails about.

But when it comes down to dating, I think you are where you are. Assistant Rey is 18. So he’ll date anything – he’s so fucking horny all of the time, he’s checking out the woman in the car next to us now. Rey’s at the point where he’ll date anything – 18, 19, whatever.

Khiem: Rey is the Energizer Bunny: ready to go at any time.

David: And that’s the great thing about being 18. You can pump and dump 17 times a night.

So the bottom line is: enjoy the stage you are in. Embrace where you are, and enjoy it. Just be okay with the journey that you’re presently on – it’s YOUR journey. If you’re learning – learn. If you want to develop yourself deeper – go do the things that help you to develop yourself as a deeper person.

Take the time to spend time with you and learn to be with yourself.

Todays video is all about validation.
Time to validate yourself with real confidence and not a phone number from a woman who will never call you back!