Women will send an email to a guy whom she’s dating – or it can even be to a male co-worker – asking a question that makes her feel vulnerable. The guy may not respond right away.

When a guy doesn’t respond to her email right away, a woman will start thinking and obsessing about it. She’ll wonder “Why hasn’t he responded? How come he didn’t respond? I don’t understand why he didn’t respond.” Then she might even lob another email to the guy saying “I don’t understand why you didn’t respond to that last email” or “Why haven’t you responded to my email?”

As the woman is going through all this thinking, analysis and sending out of that follow-up email, the truth is that many times the only reason the guy didn’t respond to that email is because he was doing something else. It’s not he didn’t want to respond to the woman’s email, it was just that he was busy doing something else.

As a woman, you’re very emotional and you react very emotionally to things. What you have to understand is that if we don’t respond to you on the very same day, it’s not because we’re callous and it’s not that we are being mean. It’s just that we may have been doing something else.

I give the same advice to men. When I give this advice to women, I always tell them to stop getting their panties in a knot and give us men the opportunity to respond to you.

Life is about being patient. Life is not about analyzing every little thing.

You don’t want to analyze very little thing until you beat it up. You want to be able to really process things over a period of time, because what things appear like right now are very often not at all what they’re really about.

So the next time you send a guy an email and he doesn’t respond within the time period you think he should, you need to exercise some patience and not immediately over think and overreact to the situation. Just chill out, relax and allow him the opportunity to send you a response.

So ladies, don’t get your panties in a knot … because, really, there can’t be too many things more uncomfortable than walking around with panties in a knot. I can only imagine what that would feel like, especially if you’re wearing certain kinds of those little g-strings.

Todays video is from a recent interview I did with the local news. I had to breakdown the body language of the first presidential debate.

Tell me who you think has more powerful body language.

http://www.armada-partners.com/DWPres08.html

I think I’ve written a couple of blogs on flakiness and dating before. A lot of people say, “I don’t understand. I seem to meet women (or men) and they just always seem to flake out on me.”

Here’s the thing: in general, people tend to be pretty flaky. Assume that people are going to be flaky.

Why are most people flaky? They have their own stuff going on – they are busy with work, with friends, with their dog or their cat – maybe they are busy chasing the FedEx guy around. Who knows why they flake?

But it gets more and more difficult to meet people as people in general become more disillusioned with dating. This is when they tend to flake out.

There are countless times that I’ve met women who I’ve been on the fence about – I wasn’t quite sure she was worth giving up a night for – and so we made plans, but the day before we were supposed to meet, I decided that she wasn’t really worth it. So I flaked. We’ve all done it. We’ve all been there.

In dating, people try to play it very safe. Very few people let out their full personality when they are dating. I’m not talking about verbally vomiting everything you’ve got on the table on your first date, but I think that we don’t really give people a peek into who we really are to intrigue them.

The key here is this intrigue. If you intrigue someone enough – even if it is just five minutes in person or ten minutes on the phone – I think people would flake much less.

As you get older, you begin to learn about what you really like and you just want to be excited about somebody – I’m not talking about doing back flips or anything like that – but you want to be somewhat excited. You want to look forward to giving up one of your evenings to spend it with this person.

You might just be giving up a night of television, but it doesn’t really matter – you are still giving up your own time. The older we get, the pickier we become, the more precious our time is, the more interest we have and the more satisfied we are in our own lives. This is why we tend not to just give up a night. We only want to give up our time to people who really intrigue us.

If you’re on the fence about somebody, my suggestion is to get him or her on the phone again. If you’re a woman and you’re on the fence about a man, call him one last time. The same goes with a man for a woman. Lob one last phone call at her, and see if there is any interest or any sparks.

You could also possibly throw them an email and try to get a flirtatious banter going. If you’re not fully intrigued by somebody it’s really not worth giving up a night.

There are plenty of people out there – you have to have an abundance mentality in life. There are plenty of people to meet and date. Personally, I’m not a huge dater at all. I really kind of just go with the flow. If somebody interests me, I’ll go out with her. If not, I’m not going to go out on a date just for the sake of going out on a date.

Last night, I went to the beach, took the dog for a long walk, had dinner with a friend – and that was a great night. If I meet somebody, I’m much more in the mindset of just hanging out and getting to know each other. I know it right from the start if someone interests me.

So these days, I tend to not flake. I’ll make a phone call and get to know a woman over the phone, and if she doesn’t interest me, I’m done. I don’t need to pursue it. I don’t feel like I need to give somebody a second chance.

But some of us do. So if you are ever on the fence about somebody, give him or her a second chance. Lob an email at them. Lob a phone call. Maybe they were nervous the first time you spoke to them. Maybe their real personality will shine on this second chance. But give them that second chance before you totally write them off.

As for flaking, I’ve always said that I don’t believe that flaking exists. I believe that you’re just not interested in somebody or that they didn’t intrigue you enough. Flaking is not really the issue here. It’s really about letting go and letting yourself out.