You know about whom I am talking. Take this example. You are playing basketball with a bunch of people, and there is always that one guy who never got over losing the high school championship.

He is being overly competitive, trash talking nonstop and arguing over every call. Every time you go up to make a shot, he fouls you but never says anything (although he taunts you afterwards).

Every time he goes up for a shot, however, he cries “foul!” even if you barely brushed him. He will start screaming at the ref, “Did you see that?! Didn’t you see him foul me?!”

Everybody allows this guy to act this way. They will just make light of it by saying something like, “That’s just Jim. Just get drunk with him later and he’ll be fine.”

How do you deal with this type of person, especially if you are not that guy who wants to wait for booze to bring out his “good personality?” How do you deal with this kind of person when they are in the midst of their bad behavior?

When you are confronted with someone like this who is confrontational by nature, you need to address them directly about it. So using the basketball example above, when the guy gets all out of sorts during a game you should look at him and say “Man, I come here to play to relax. I really do. You need to stop bitching. You sound like a woman on her period. You just nag, nag, nag. Do you ever listen to yourself? You complain nonstop. It’s enough already. Just play the game.”

You call the person out on their behavior, because people like this rarely are called out on their behavior. Everyone just allows them to act the way they do.

Then when someone does actually call them out, they will usually get a little defensive and say something like “Relax, I was just kidding.” All of a sudden you will see that person’s behavior completely change, and they will try to be your friend.

The reason their behavior will change is because they are actually waiting to be called out. People are strange sometimes. Why do they wait to be called out?

They are so used to being the guy who can push everyone around. They are so used to being being the guy who gets away with everything. So when someone actually stands up to them, they respect that person.

So the next time you are confronted with someone like this, be sure to call them out! It is what they really want you to do, and what you really need to do.

The following is a conversation we had at a recent bootcamp about bullying yourself. This will give you some sort of an idea of what we do during bootcamps.

David: Are you a bully?

Do you enjoy constantly teasing people? Do you like to sit there and push people through the cootie door?

You remember the cootie door from grade school – you picked a door and if someone walked through it, they had cooties for the whole day.

Do you remember cootie shots? The only form of immunization…

But the question remains: are you a bully?

Most of us adults are no longer bullies to other people. We stopped being bullies to others a long time ago, except many of us are still bullies with one specific person. And I’m not talking about your younger sibling.

Many of us are bullies to ourselves. We are own worst enemies.

Do you tend to look only at the negative things about yourself and are you constantly making fun of yourself cruelly and making excuses? You’re being a bully.

I bully myself about my chicken legs, and I constantly use them as an excuse: “man, I don’t want to put those pants on, they’ll make my legs look too skinny. I’m not wearing those.”

We are always our own worst enemies. We love to make fun of ourselves.

You’re sitting here laughing, what are some ways that you bully yourself?

Client: Well, I take myself way too seriously. In my line of work, it’s important to anticipate what people are going to say, so I always expect big things out of myself when I’m in a conversation with a woman.

I’m never listening to what the other person is saying, but more trying to out-do that person. Then I wind up not listening to them at all, and they lose interest. That’s what I bully myself about.

David: Rey, how do you bully yourself?

Rey: I bully myself about everything! “You’re not good enough, you’re not being loud enough, you’re not being interesting enough, you don’t have your personality out,” everything like that. “You’re not letting yourself out, you’re too stiff!”

David: And by doing that, Rey, you don’t ever let yourself out because you’re constantly thinking about it.

Every time you approach a woman, you’ve got that mindset, and then of course, you become that.

What about you?

Daniel: I guess I bully myself when I don’t meet the expectations I have for myself.

David: Like how?

Daniel: I bully myself with the typical monkey chatter: “I’m not going to be able to escalate intimacy in a conversation!” I’m also always thinking about the end result and having that fear of what to say next or how to transition to the next topic.

David: It’s interesting. You think so much that your monkey chatter is saying, “you can’t escalate, Daniel, you can’t escalate,” and then, because you worried so much about it, you can’t.

The only escalating we should think about is the escalators we ride on in the stores. Women will get sexually turned on to you by you being charming, real and in the moment. She’ll start to connect with you.

‘Sexual escalation’ is a term that men think they need to be so aware of, but in reality, it will just happen naturally if you’re strong, powerful, and you don’t think. The real sexy side of you is the side that isn’t thinking about everything. It’s the side of you that just lives and responds to things in life. The side of you that goes with the moment, and goes with the flow.

Our bully is unbelievable. We love to bully ourselves constantly. We are constantly ripping ourselves apart. We’re trying so hard to be perfect and say the ‘right thing.’

In reality, nothing in life is perfect. Your imperfections are the things you need to embrace and learn to love. If you don’t embrace and love your own imperfections, nobody else ever will.

I’m an OCDer. I’m looking to buy a house right now, which you all know, and I am having so much trouble. I just cannot pull the plug. I bully myself in so many different decisions that I can’t even think of, yet everything else I do in life is very simple and easy.

We all have our things that we need to work on. You need to embrace those imperfections, make fun of yourself and have fun with it.

We did that exercise last night where we made fun of ourselves and it was a blast. We all made fun of our dumb little faults.

You got dressed up in clothes you thought looked great, and then you made fun of yourself for being some big metrosexual.

But in reality, you look like a guy that is nicely dressed and that women would notice. You’re thinking, oh man, I can’t pull this off, I can’t look sexy – but you do.

That’s how we stop bullying ourselves.
Todays video is perfect for the weekend.

How do you overcome rejection?