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Posts Tagged ‘bullhorn’

 
 

You Have Nothing To Complain About

Thursday, October 22nd, 2009

I get emails all the time from people who tell me how rotten their life is because they cannot meet people. My response is always, “That’s easy to fix! Try driving in L.A. traffic. You can’t do a thing about that.”

Los Angeles is a combination of a lot of things: sunshine, overpopulation . . . and the worst drivers you’ve ever seen. Overpopulation breeds bad drivers, because when you far too many people living in a small area you are bound to get a collection of the world’s worst drivers

.

Los Angeles is not actually a tiny area, but it feels like it is because you can’t get anywhere. It’s like an old movie with not-so-great special effects where the people traveling in cars pass by the same scenery over and over again. That’s what it’s like living in Los Angeles.

Everyone who lives in Los Angeles has a driving horror story. Mine? One time it took me 2½ hours to get to a Lakers game. To give you an idea how close I lived to the arena, it took me only seventeen minutes to get home. To put this in perspective, when I lived in Colorado I could drive 170 miles in 2½ hours.

So, anyone who is complaining about not being able to approach members of the opposite sex needs to come to Los Angeles and get behind the wheel of a car. You’ll never see approaching as being frustrating and intimidating ever again!

People will tell you that to deal with L.A. traffic, all you need is good music and a cell phone. I’m thinking that instead of good music and a cell phone, you really need a bullhorn and a shotgun, because I really like kick back on the sofa listening to music to relax. As for talking on my cell phone, I really don’t want to talk on the phone while I am screaming at people in traffic.

You have approach anxiety? No problem! I’ll tell you what. If I can figure out how to get through L.A. traffic, I’ll show you in five minutes how to meet members of the opposite sex.