During my typical lunch, I talk to everybody – waiters, busboys, hostesses, everybody. I get to know each of them as they walk over to my table. I find out who they are and what they’re all about.

I connect with each of them in some way. The reason why I am able to do that, is because I say what’s on my mind.

For instance, I was sitting with my dog Daphne in the outdoor cafe area at a California Pizza Kitchen restaurant recently. I have sat in the outdoor cafe with Daphne about a thousand times before without any problem.

The manager comes over to my table and says that dogs aren’t allowed in the restaurant. I said “No problem, but how about on the other side where the public benches are located?” The manager said, “No, dogs aren’t allowed anywhere in the restaurant complex.”

I explained to the manager that my dog had been allowed in that outdoor area for the last five years, and that even the owner (whom I have met) has never said anything about it. She wouldn’t budge, and did not allow me to sit there with Daphne.

I guess she is somebody who is very stringent about the rules. She is all about the rules.

A lot of people will not break rules – ever. They believe that rules are set to be abided by no matter what.

In this situation at the restaurant, a lot of people would get frustrated dealing with that woman. I don’t get frustrated with her, and with people like that.

I basically dismiss people like that. They are not the kind of person I want to talk to again. They are uptight, and not someone who resonates with me.

What I did, though, was use that moment to bond with someone else at the restaurant. A waitress walked by and asked me where my dog went, and I said “Your uptight manager . . . (and told the story) . . . She must be awful to work for.” The waitress started laughing.

So what I did there was to say things that people are already thinking. I say what’s on my mind. When you say what’s on your mind, there is a good chance it’s on someone else’s mind as well.

I also comment on what people are doing. I pick up on the obvious, and I connect with people that way.

People love when someone says what they themselves were thinking. People like to talk about the things about which nobody else would talk.

Why don’t most people talk about these things? It’s because we monitor ourselves 24/7. We’re always thinking about what to say, instead of just reacting to someone.

If you would just react to people when they speak, you would never run out of things to say in a conversation. The conversation will always flow, and will be fun, different and interesting.

When I told the waitress how I thought the manager was uptight, the waitress was probably thinking “Oh my God, she IS so uptight!” I bonded with her just by saying that.

You can always bond with people over the obvious. You repel people by talking about the non-obvious.

Then I tried to get one of the Southwest vouchers. The problem is that they only allow a certain number of people per flight to use a voucher, and I missed being allowed on one flight I needed to get another flight, so I couldn’t work that out.

Then I called up American Airlines, and American told me we’ve got award travel miles (12,500 for one way and 25,000 the other way) available so the ticket would cost an additional $100.00. If two people fly, though, you can get it for $120.00 but only if it comes out of one mileage account. If it comes out of two separate mileage accounts, then it costs $200.00.

So then I called up United Airlines, which was the best one so far. They could get us there using 25,000 airline miles, except that we were short some miles in my account. So I asked if I could transfer some miles into my account (which they could), but they said the transfer takes 48 hours and I needed to be on the flight before then.

Since I was already on the phone with them and they could see on their computer screen that the miles I wanted transferred were there, I asked if they could just do the transfer right then and there so we could get the tickets. They said no, they couldn’t do it because the 48 hour thing is a rule.

It’s unbelievable the amount of rules that are out there.  People are robots. Nobody can break a rule . . . or even alter a rule.

Last night we went out to dinner to talk about this wonderful day spent finding airfare. We were at a sushi restaurant, and I wanted one piece of uni. At this restaurant, uni comes two to an order for $8.00. I asked if I could order just one piece of uni, and the waiter said no (because they only serve it in orders of two).

So, basically, the restaurant didn’t want to make $4.00, and they didn’t want to split the order up because it would break the rules. I talked to the manager to see if he would be willing to break the rules, but he said he wouldn’t break the rule because it’s a rule and he had to obey the rule.

People are such robots. Nobody can ever bend a rule even a little bit. I know the airlines have to have certain rules, but the problem is that they have so many different rules — and the rules change so often — that no one can figure out what all the rules are.

Can you bring on carry-on luggage or can you not bring on carry-on luggage? Now, all of a sudden, you have to pay to check your luggage.  Because of that, everybody’s trying to just have carry-on luggage (leaving no overhead space on the plane).

The “rules” say that the plane should have a certain amount of overhead space per person, but most people put their suitcases up there with the wheels sideways so only about half as much luggage actually fits up there. Isn’t there also a “rule” about which direction the wheels should go in the overhead containers? How come no one follows that rule?  

We all are robots.  We all follow rules in life. So what does all this have to do with dating?

Well, a lot of people think there are rules in dating. I can’t tell you how many times I get an email from someone asking something like, “David, I read where you said that you should lean in on a date when you’re talking to a woman, but someone else said you shouldn’t do that. Now, isn’t that a rule that you’re not supposed to lean in like that?”

It’s unbelievable. What about intuition? What about doing something just for the sake of doing it? What about trusting your own gut?

What about bending and breaking the “rules” sometimes? Why does there have to be so many rules? Why are we such a rule-driven society?

It’s amazing how many people have trouble meeting and dating the opposite sex because they believe there have to be rules. Hmmm, she flipped her hair on the left side, which means I should not kiss her tonight. Really?! Where did you read that . . . in some “10 rules for dating” article somewhere?

Whatever happened to just doing things because they feel right in the moment. Now, I’m not talking about a rule-less society, but every once in a while can’t we just give up that one piece of uni, allow someone to transfer a few airline miles or go in for a kiss without reading a textbook about it ahead of time? If we did, we might all actually live a little longer.