Last night, I went to one of my favorite sushi restaurants, and now I am going to be off of sushi forever. The next time I eat sushi and raw fish will be when I am reincarnated as flipper. The other night I ordered in Chinese food from a healthy Chinese restaurant, and let me tell you that the next time I’ll be eating Chinese food will be when I’m reincarnated as Wo Ming Ching the fisherman.

I miss all the wonderful meals I had in London and in France. Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to take another vacation soon.

Oh, and I want to personally thank everyone who left great comments yesterday about my big announcement on the blog. If you haven’t read about my big announcement, click here (because you missed something pretty huge).

This is something I talk about almost every single day. In order to meet the kind of people you most desire, you need to learn how to attract them (and not chase them).

I mean, how many times are you guys going to go out on a Friday or Saturday night and chase women before you realize that it doesn’t work. You are just what I call chasing the night. You need to realize that your actions — all of your actions — are picked up on by lots of different people.

When I was in Cannes recently, I was standing in line behind a man at a buffet. If you’ve ever seen me in a buffet line, I act like I’ve never eaten a meal before in my entire life. It was one at one of those beautiful hotels in Cannes with a great breakfast buffet, and I was really hungry and anxious to get my hands on the lox.

So I might have gotten a little too close to the man in line in front of me, and at some point we bumped into each other. It was really no big deal. I mean, how many times have you accidentally bumped into someone, right?

That man, however, gave me the dirtiest look in the world — one of those “f*^k you” looks. So I sat down at my table, and I saw him give me yet another dirty look.

How many of you do this? How many of you accidentally bump into someone because you get too close to them, and then give the other person a dirty look because they invaded your personal space?

Do you realize how many other people see you give that dirty look and see the whole interaction take place? They don’t look at the other person as the asshole. They look at you as the asshole.

They don’t wonder what’s wrong with you because you accidentally bumped into someone. They wonder what’s wrong with you that you have to be such as asshole.

When we’re talking about attracting people (and not chasing them), this is the type of thing that will not only not attract others — but will actually repel them. So be careful what you do.

The next time somebody is too close and they bump into you, just smile and say “No big deal.” You never know who is looking at you and checking you out. You never know who is getting turned off by your actions.

When you give the dirty look or something like that, you are turning off every person around you (not just that one person next to you). If you’ve learned anything from what we’ve talked about, it all comes down to creating attraction.

When you give the dirty look, you are actually creating instant detraction. That may or may not be a word, but it is the perfect term for when you doing the exact opposite of attracting people to you (including those people of the opposite sex you most want to attract). So everywhere you go, be sure to avoid the art of detraction.

So because our flight time was getting close, we of course had to be pulled from the line to go through security (along with some others whose flights were also coming up soon). We were on the 11:45 flight.

Of course one woman whose flight was at 11:34, barreled past me breaking Sonja and I up. This other woman says, “Wait! I’m on the 11:24 flight!” and wanted to go ahead of the 11:34 woman, but the 11:34 woman wouldn’t let her go ahead even though the other woman’s flight was before hers.

Did you ever meet someone you just want to kick and shake? That woman was radiating negative energy. I’m sure her purse was filled with Tums, Mylanta, pain medication . . . and maybe some Xanax. She might have even been an emergency Valium woman like my mother.

So I made the flight here to New Orleans, and now I have a job for all of you this weekend. You’re probably thinking, “Wait, I read yesterday’s blog about the job you gave us to reconnect with old friends. You have TWO jobs for us this weekend?” For any of you who need a refresher on yesterday’s blog, CLICK HERE.

For those of you who are regular readers, you know I have limited experience with children. I’ve even called them “little aliens” from time to time, even though they’re really just little people.

I learned some things watching little Ashlyn here. It’s amazing how uninhibited a 2½ year old’s body language and emotions are. You know exactly when a kid wants to talk to you, play with you, communicate something to you . . . and you know when they think you’re a creep.

They are either naturally approachable or naturally unapproachable — like pitbulls. They are based on natural body language intuition, and are without fears and doubts.

So your job, Ethan Hunt . . . oh, wait this isn’t Mission: Impossible . . . is to go find some little kids this weekend and watch them. Go to a Chuck E. Cheese or a park and just enjoy yourself. Don’t go dressed in trenchcoat looking like a creep, and just enjoy the day.

I want you to go back to your more innocent days when you were more open about meeting people. The way to do that is to be open about body language, dynamics and from where the smile comes.

For those of you who think you’re above this, you don’t get the point of this. For those of you who think this is silly, you can be like Kristen’s cats and just hide in your room. People can be so much like cats — you take a cat out of it’s environment to a new place, and it freaks out for weeks and hides in corners in a room.

What would you rather be like? Think about it. Would you rather look at the world and the beauty that it is? Or, would you rather be like Kristen’s cats, Captain Jack and Hercules, scared of the living room? Would you rather be screaming with enjoyment, or screaming with fear?

Here’s a quote I just heard that fits perfectly into today’s blog and is a good ending to it: “You know if you hide from your fears, they don’t go away.  They get bigger and they get worse.  The only way to get rid of them is to face them.” 

Have an amazing Saturday!

Smiling is critical to being successful at meeting men, but the question is: When you are smiling, what does your body language say about you?

Are you smiling and running? (Are you doing the old “smile and run?”) Are you quickly smiling so that when men see you do it they are not quite sure if it’s a smile or not?  

Conversly, are you a woman who blows men away when she smiles because when you smile at a man you smile fully and look directly in his eyes?

I know when a woman stares right in my eyes and gives me a great smile – whether I’m attracted to her or not – that I ALWAYS give her a great smile back. I can’t help it. I’ll think “Wow, did you see that smile? There’s something amazing about it.”

There really is something amazing about a smile like that. It’s about an energy.  

So my question to all of you women who are telling me that you are out there smiling and saying hello to men without success is this: How are you actually doing it? Are you saying hello like you really care, or are you saying hello and running? Are you really smiling at somebody from your heart and not just out of fear?

What does your body language say about you? Are you open when you smile, or are your arms folded and you are mainly looking down at the ground?  It takes a lot more than to “just smile.” It takes actually being able to give that smile the right way.

I tell women to smile doing the exact same things I do when I smile. When I smile at someone, I look directly in their eyes and smile directly at them. My body language is not closed – my hands aren’t in my pockets and my arms are not folded.

When I say “Hello, how are you today?” I always sound like I’m talking to an old friend. It’s all about your voice tone. It’s all about the way you smile.  

If you nervously run up to a guy and say “Hello, how are you?” then he is going to wonder what’s wrong with you and why you are so nervous. If, however, you do it like you’re talking to an old friend then he’s going to respond much more positively to you.

So the next time you smile and say hello to a guy, do it like you’ve known him forever. Pretend that you’re actually going over to say hello to an old friend when you do it. The next time you smile at a guy, pretend like you are smiling at an old friend.

Here is a great exercise I tell many of my female clients to do to help with this. I tell them to put a picture of someone you love as the home screen on your phone. It could be a picture of your dog or your niece at her birthday party. Choose whatever makes you smile when you look at it.

Then the next time you feel intimidated when you see a man to whom you are attracted, all you have to do is look at the home screen on your phone and keep that smile you make looking at the picture when you smile at that guy. This is easy and won’t appear strange to the guy. It is so common for people to be constantly staring at their phones, that the guy will think you were looking at your phone because you just got an email or text message.

What you will really be doing is building up your smile confidence, so you are able to deliver that incredible, killer smile.  That kind of smile is believable and will make a guy want very badly to talk to you.

Trust me on this. When a woman comes over and smiles at me and she gives me that smile, all I can ever think about is that intoxicating smile and how badly I want to talk to her.

Today’s video will show you exactly how important body language is in being attractive:

When you concentrate on and really listen to what someone is saying, your body language is going to reflect that interest to them. The other person will know you are interested and intrigued by them.

When a woman sees you doing this, she will naturally start to loosen up her own body language. She will do this because she knows you’re listening to her and connecting with her. Women are all about connecting with a man. A woman will also start to relax because you are relaxed.

The problem is a lot of guys do the reverse of this. They start talking AT a woman (instead of WITH her), and then they start looking for body language clues from her. They think things like “What does her body language say? or “Her arms are folded. What does that mean?” The problem is that you’re viewing things in the wrong way and the wrong order.

You are the leader, and you need to lead by example. What I mean is that when you go and talk to a woman, her body language most often is going to follow yours.

So if your body language is strong and shows interest in her, then her body language is going to follow yours and reflect signs of interest in you. If your face is engaged – you’re smiling and your eyes are focused in on her eyes – and you are paying real attention to her, then her body language will follow yours.

So you need to stop worrying about her body language all the time, and start paying attention to all the details. I have stressed this throughout every part of every lesson that I’ve ever given: You truly need to become a leader in life. You need to become that kind of man who leads by example.

I never worry about other people’s body language because I always listen and pay attention to the details. I always communicate what I’m feeling and what I’m all about to others. If you do this, you are not only going to see your interaction with women change . . . but you are going to see your life change.

Read this a few times and let me know what you think.

Have an amazing Saturday!

If you’re not hurting, then you’re not feeling – and this means that you’re thinking too much and not really living your life vulnerably.

To live your life vulnerably is to live your life raw. To live your life raw, you have to be able to feel and absorb everything that comes into your life.

And do you know what? If you don’t feel anything – if you feel no pain in your life – it means that you’re not living.

If you feel no vulnerability in your life, it means that you’re not really living. If you feel no emotions in your life, you’re not living.

To be 100% raw in life is the most amazing feeling you can have.

Todays video is a breakdown of an approach and a review on body language. This was shot on the beach this summer.

Women will send an email to a guy whom she’s dating – or it can even be to a male co-worker – asking a question that makes her feel vulnerable. The guy may not respond right away.

When a guy doesn’t respond to her email right away, a woman will start thinking and obsessing about it. She’ll wonder “Why hasn’t he responded? How come he didn’t respond? I don’t understand why he didn’t respond.” Then she might even lob another email to the guy saying “I don’t understand why you didn’t respond to that last email” or “Why haven’t you responded to my email?”

As the woman is going through all this thinking, analysis and sending out of that follow-up email, the truth is that many times the only reason the guy didn’t respond to that email is because he was doing something else. It’s not he didn’t want to respond to the woman’s email, it was just that he was busy doing something else.

As a woman, you’re very emotional and you react very emotionally to things. What you have to understand is that if we don’t respond to you on the very same day, it’s not because we’re callous and it’s not that we are being mean. It’s just that we may have been doing something else.

I give the same advice to men. When I give this advice to women, I always tell them to stop getting their panties in a knot and give us men the opportunity to respond to you.

Life is about being patient. Life is not about analyzing every little thing.

You don’t want to analyze very little thing until you beat it up. You want to be able to really process things over a period of time, because what things appear like right now are very often not at all what they’re really about.

So the next time you send a guy an email and he doesn’t respond within the time period you think he should, you need to exercise some patience and not immediately over think and overreact to the situation. Just chill out, relax and allow him the opportunity to send you a response.

So ladies, don’t get your panties in a knot … because, really, there can’t be too many things more uncomfortable than walking around with panties in a knot. I can only imagine what that would feel like, especially if you’re wearing certain kinds of those little g-strings.

Todays video is from a recent interview I did with the local news. I had to breakdown the body language of the first presidential debate.

Tell me who you think has more powerful body language.

http://www.armada-partners.com/DWPres08.html

Many guys pay too much attention to body language – if she’s holding her arms this way… Many guys are looking for signs from her body language, but they aren’t leading with their own bodies.

You have to lead with your body. For instance, let’s say you’re out on a date with a woman and you’re talking. If you lean back in your chair, she’s going to lean back into hers – usually people mimic each other’s body languages.

So how do you know that she’s not just mimicking you – how do you know if she is actually interested?

You want to be the leader in the body language game. You want to be the guy that gets her to do what you are doing.

What I’ll sometimes do on a date is mix it up. I’ll lean back in my chair, and then when she says something particularly interesting, I’ll lean forward. I’ll get her to follow me. If she’s interested in me, she’ll also lean forward toward me.

Another thing that I will do is put my hands on the table as I’m leaning forward. I’ll then watch to see if she puts her hands up there too. Sometimes she’ll move her hands closer to my hands so that literally the center of the table is the dividing line between our almost touching fingers.

If she leans forward and her hands are almost touching mine, then I will move back and pull away. Why? It has to do with that teasing aspect. Life is all about teasing.

So then I’ll lean back just like this, and I’ll see where she’s at. If she leans back too, then I know that she’s following my lead and mimicking me. I’m leading and she’s following – that’s what you want!

Maybe five or six minutes later, I’ll do the same thing and lean forward towards her. This time I will put my hands over the dividing line and I’ll see how close she’ll move her hands to mine.

She might put her hands over the dividing line as well, onto my side of the table. This means that we’ve broken each other’s personal space boundaries.

These are some of the little clues that you can read into when it comes down to body language. You want to play with it a little bit.

Don’t worry if she folds her arms. If she folds her arms, she might just be cold – it doesn’t necessarily mean anything bad.

Do you see the difference? It’s all about playing; leading and following, leading and following.

Now that we covered some thoughts on how to know if she is attracted to you.

How about the one way never to act after a night of drinking to turn her off every time!!

Enjoy Labor Day!!

She said, “alright, you have my attention. Tell me a little bit more.” I said, “well first, what type of guy are you attracted to?” She said, “well, I’m attracted to a guy that is alert,” which I thought was very funny, and I asked her to describe “alert” a little bit more. I knew what she was getting at – she wants a guy that listens.

So then she described her perfect guy: a guy that listens, a guy that is connected to who he is, a guy that is confident, a guy that actually follows through, and the list went on.

I looked at her and asked her, “what type of guy do you think I teach?” She didn’t really know about me, she had just heard about what I do. She answered, “well, don’t you teach guys how to pick up?” I said, “the only thing they will pick up is takeout food for you!”

I continued, “I don’t teach pick up. I teach men how to be everything you just listed, plus plenty more. I teach men how to connect with women on so many different levels – from the second that they meet you. I teach guys the inner workings of your mind, which means that when one of my men approach you, they approach you based on emotions that you are already feeling.

If one of my men approaches you in a supermarket or a coffee shop, he’s looking at your face. He’s looking at your body language. He’s figuring out what type of day you had and he will start the conversation based on something you’re already thinking about.

These are guys that are very connected to who they are. These are guys that are very passionate about themselves, and these are men who are looking to connect with you on a higher level.”

So she looked at me and said, “wow, that’s amazing. I can’t believe that there is a guy out there that teaches men how to really connect with women!” I responded, “yeah, I’m not about pick up. If they want to learn how to pick up, they can go to one of those pick up companies and learn lines.”

I continued, “I’ll never teach men a line. But I will teach a man that the second he approaches you is the start of your relationship. I understand that you want to tell the story ‘how David and I met.’ You want to say, ‘you wouldn’t believe it: six months ago, he worked directly over me at Whole Foods and we had a fight over the last peach. So we had the produce guy cut it in half, and we split it. And ever since then, we’ve been sharing everything!’

I know what you’re about! You’re about living in a romantic comedy. And all of the men that I coach are players in your romantic comedy. They are guys that you not only want to date; but they are guys that you can bring home to Mom. They are guys that have a life. They aren’t needy and they aren’t clingy. They are real men. And real men is what you are attracted to.”

So you know what? Here is a message to all of the women out there: you know you’ve met a David Wygant man when he walks over and you feel like he totally understands what you are going through.

You know you’ve met one of those sleazy pick up company men when he walks over and says, “excuse me. Could I ask your opinion on something? Who cheats more, men or women?” You know you’ve met a sleazy pick up guy because he’s staring at your breasts and not into your eyes.

There is a big difference between what I teach and what those other dime-a-dozen companies out there are teaching.

If you want to meet a David Wygant man – or if you want to BE one – email me.

If you want to be a pick up artist, email me too, and I’ll tell you exactly which company to go to!

Fridays video is a great exercise that will teach any man how to be a natural.

And all the women need to watch this one as well.

It will teach you a thing or 2.

Have a great Friday!

I’m sure all of you have already read some of the posts we’ve done on body language and how to command a room when you first walk in. One thing that always comes to mind – and I get a lot of emails from guys about this – is eye contact.

Can you have too much eye contact? When is the right time to look at her? Is there too little eye contact? What if I’m nervous? Where exactly do I look?

Well, here’s exactly what I say about eye contact. Eye contact is very important. Whenever I talk to a woman, I look directly into her eyes. I don’t care if I’ve met her for the very first time or if I’m having sex with her, I will look at her directly in her eyes.

Women don’t trust people who look all over the room. Nervous eye contact is a guy that looks you in the eyes and then bounces around and looks all over the place. When your eyes are bouncing all over the place, what you are telling a woman – or at least what she thinks in her mind – is that you are looking at someone else, or checking somebody else out.

The reason that women like direct eye contact so much is that they feel like you are completely engrossed. When someone looks at you directly in your eyes, they feel like they are getting all of your attention. There’s a key element to this whole thing as well – when you’re looking at someone directly in their eyes, you’d better not look at them like a stone statue.

You’d should be looking at them very animatedly – if they’re telling a story, don’t just stare directly at them without a smile on your face. React to the words that they say. If they say something funny, smile! If they say something sad, show sadness in your face.

You can’t just stare directly at them, because that type of direct eye contact is going to make them nervous. You need to make sure that your facial expressions also match your eye contact.

Another thing that makes women nervous is when you are talking to them, you look at them in the eyes, and then you keep looking down. Looking down shows women that you’re an insecure man. Women will not feel secure around you, and they will actually start wondering whether or not they want to continue talking to you. They wonder why you keep looking at your shoes. They wonder if you’re reading the Nike label on your sneaker or whatever it might be – but it shows the signs of a weak man.

Don’t forget – 80% of what you do and how you communicate with women is nonverbal. You never have another opportunity to make a good first impression. By looking down, you are showing a sign of weakness.

Women are looking for strong men, so the eye contact you give has to be backed by animation on your face as well. So if you don’t know how to animate your face, or how to react to something, what you need to do is hang out with a friend of yours and have them tell you a story. Look directly in the mirror (instead of looking directly at your friend) and every time they talk, check out your smile. Check out how you look. Check out the way you nod your head. Check out the way you use hand gestures.

Would you trust yourself? Would you be attracted to yourself? You’ve got to work on it. A lot of men (and women too) have trouble smiling. You’ve got to smile, and you have to be comfortable in your smile. You have to be comfortable in the way you frown, and in the way you animate.

Look at trained actors. This is another great thing – if you take a look at actors, there is something in the industry called ‘eye actors.’ If you look at the way an actor reacts to certain things, there are actors that will move their eyes all around and scrunch their foreheads a bit and get animated.

That’s why a lot of actors are shooting themselves up with Botox. They are really using their eyes all the time – they are penetrating with their eyes. It’s a known thing living in Los Angeles that there are lots of eye actors out there. There are some really good eye actors – take a look at Patrick Dempsey on Grey’s Anatomy. Look at the way he looks at a woman – look at the way he smiles, the way his face lights up. Look at his eye contact.

Or George Clooney – he does it the same type of way. Tom Cruise is a wonderful eye actor – same thing, he looks directly at you. His facial expressions always match the emotions being shown in his eyes. Don’t be afraid to show emotion when someone tells you an animated story. These are some great ways to practice.

We notice it more and more – eye contact has to be strong, powerful, and has to really show your intent. Not only are you showing that you are really listening to her, but you are also showing that you are not afraid of her. That’s one of the key things that turn a woman on – they can sense that you have a powerful, masculine energy coming off of you.

How do you turn that energy into a more seductive look though? Let’s talk about that another time. It’s important to practice this eye contact in order to master it, before we get to advance the seductive eye contact. So we’ll talk about seductive eye contact another day.

Todays video is all about how to become interesting. Have you ever spoke to a woman and ran out of things to say.

No more boring talk!!