People have such warped images of what people should look like.
What you’re about to watch is a woman who’s very cute on her own, but goes through Photoshop and the end result you see is what turns men into crazed perfection seeking horn dogs and women into insecure fearful human beings.
Most Men believe that they should be dating the type of women that they see in this type of video. Even men in bad shape only see themselves dating the hot sexy toned women. Their version of perfection is based on the air brushed women they see on tv and in magazines.
And lets not mention a mans view about sex is based on crazy porno sex. Sex that really does not exist nor turn on the average woman.
Women, on the other hand, feel really pressured to look great, because they are always looking at themselves under a microscope.
Women are super critical of themselves more than any man could ever be.
Check this out it shows you the distortions of the way things are and the way people think things should be.
Women after the watching the video how do you feel about the way life and beauty is distorted?
If you want to get the ultimate version of yourself check out my women’s no excuses package.
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Let’s talk about women’s body language and what turns men on. Women tend to be more submissive in society than men, which is fine.
A lot of the time when men will talk to women, a woman might be interested but she’s also very nervous. So men will often not end up asking those women out due to what her body language is communicating.
When they’re nervous, a lot of women will have one foot in one direction and the other foot in another direction. Even though they’re smiling, their body language will say to a man that she’s half in and half out, which a man will interpret as disinterest.
He won’t be interpreting it consciously. It will be done subconsciously. This will be his interpretation nonetheless.
When you’re interested in a man, you need to hold your ground. You need to look directly at him, face him and smile. You can’t have one foot in one direction or a shoulder turned off in another direction.
Another thing that women do that absolutely does not work, is that they will have their arms folded. Even though they’re interested in a guy, they’ll have their arms folded when you’re talking to him. This is a defensive pose, not an open pose.
What you need to do instead, is to leave your arms open. Either have them at your side, or have them facing the guy (or use your hands when you’re talking). The minute you fold your arms, you are basically telling a guy — even if it’s on a very subconscious level — that you’re not interested.
Your eye contact is also really important. When you look down at the ground or off in the distance because you’re nervous, you are telling a guy you are not interested. Even if you are interested, when you look away from that person what he will process in his brain is that you are looking at someone else and isn’t interested.
So, once again, eye contact is really important. If you are uncomfortable with constant eye contact, then you can meet his eyes, look down and then come back and meet his eyes again. Just don’t look off in the distance, that will always tell a guy that you are not interested.
Another mistake that women make when talking to a man is fidgeting. Fidgeting with things when you’re talking to somebody tells him that you’re very nervous. You might be nervous because you like him, but a guy will likely interpret your fidgeting as a sign that you’re bored.
It’s amazing how much these little things communicate to the opposite sex. Being more aware of your body language in these situations will really help you get more men to ask you out (and, by extension, get you more dates).
If you want to know more about what you are saying to men with your body language, then have a friend go out with you and film you. Have your friend watch what you’re doing, how you’re reacting to things and how you flirt. Then you can watch not only yourself, but also see things the way a guy does.
It’s really funny. One time a woman did this and sent me the video. In the video she was flirting with a guy, but kept looking away because she was scared, nervous and intimidated by the guy.
When she sent me the video, she said to me that she didn’t know why the guy hadn’t asked her out. When I watched the video, I knew why the minute she looked away and the guy turned around to see at whom she was looking.
She was interested in that guy, and she thought she was showing interest to him. It’s amazing what your body language and you eye contact says, as compared to what your voice says. Be more aware of that, and you’ll see yourself having better flirting sessions, better dates, and a better dating life.
Now let me ask you a question… Do you want to know where are all the marriage-minded men are?
I thought you did… All you need to do is click here to find out where.
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Body language is so important. We really are animals.
80% of the way we communicate really is by body language. If you watch a movie, when the actors deliver their lines they also have to deliver the right body language. Otherwise, you don’t believe the words that are coming out of their mouth.
I can’t tell you how many times I have witnesses men walking over to women with their shoulders rolled forward, looking down at the ground, and muttering their words. When they do that, women respond with the exact same body language.
When her body language is leaning towards the door, she is telling you how uncomfortable she is even if she is interested. So sometimes body language can seem to conflict with how that person actually feels.
That is why the guys need to keep talking smiling and staying relaxed. That way, you will help her relax. People will follow your body language when you are in control of yourself.
Your body language, though, is so important. You don’t want to come across as needy, desperate, weird, or too intense. You want to come across as somebody who’s confident, secure, and self-aware.
A confident man walks with his shoulders back, his head up, and his eyes directly on the person to whom he is talking. A confident man walks slow but strong. A confident man walks into a room, looks around, decides who he wants to talk to before walking over there.
A confident man faces the person with whom he’s speaking. A confident man does not look down at the ground. A confident man does not roll his shoulders down.
Your body language is so important. It’s not just about what you say, it’s how you say it and how your body is standing.
When you’re on a date facing somebody and talking to them at a table, you want to face them directly. You want to show them that you’re a strong, confident man.
There is so much more about body language that we need to discuss.
But before we do, let me ask you a question.
Are you nervous when approaching a woman? Don’t know how to approach, stand, act, look, etc? If so, lets keep this conversation rolling by Clicking Here!
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As most of you know, I spent a few weeks in Europe back in October. That trip made me realize that traveling to a foreign country is something everyone needs to do. Of course there are amazing and beautiful things to see, but that is not the reason I am suggesting this.
I think everyone needs to go to a foreign country to learn one of the most important skills to becoming a better communicator: how to communicate nonverbally. This is a really important skill.
This was a very important skill when I was in France, for example, because I don’t speak French. The way I say bonjour and merci beaucoup probably made the French people hate Americans even more than they already do.
I’ll share something interesting with you. On that trip we were driving through all these different little mountain towns one day, and we were hungry. Apparently, everything closes down between 12:00 pm and 4:00 pm. I don’t know when they eat lunch or what they do, but the whole area literally boards up and shuts down between those hours.
Nevertheless, we found this little food truck with a whole bunch of workers near it. I pulled up, we got out and I ordered some sandwiches. I picked out the sandwiches by pointing at the pictures. The guy offered me different beverages in French.
It was really fascinating, though, to stand there with eight or nine people who spoke a different language as they are looking at you and laughing. Most people feel very insecure at that moment, because they feel like they are being laughed at.
In reality, those people were just trying to communicate with me using nonverbal communication. They were using gestures and body language to try and communicate with me.
I think this is one of the best lessons we can learn. I’ve traveled all over the world and to a lot of places where I couldn’t speak the language, and every time I go to one of these places I feel like I’ve learned a great lesson.
You actually learn how to communicate better by not speaking the language. You’re forced to use your intuition. You’re forced to use body language.
You’re forced to use eye contact. So many people, especially American guys who are trying to meet women, are so afraid of eye contact. So many people are always looking for other people’s body language when, ironically, they really don’t even understand body language.
This is one of the reasons I tell people to travel abroad. When you travel abroad, it is all about body language.
It’s all about the way you make eye contact. It’s all about the way you smile and the way your smile engages others. When you travel abroad you are not only more aware of all of this, you are also aware that you are the leader for all of these things.
When many people walk up to someone in France, they do so with a pouty face because they can’t speak the language. When you do this, people are going to look at you say “Asshole American,” right? When you walk up with a big smile and ask if they speak English, you come off as a lot friendlier.
So one of the greatest things to do is to go to a foreign country and navigate your way around. Try and find a hotel. Try to find places to eat.
Don’t rely on finding people who speak English. Don’t even worry about whether people speak English, because what you’ll learn will make you more aware of things with people who do speak your own language when you get home. You’re actually learning worlds of information (pardon the pun) about nonverbal clues.
So save your money and get your ass to a foreign country. Avoid France right now because the American Dollar sucks there. You can go to South America for ten or eleven days and accomplish the same thing for half the price.
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I’ve been ruined. Once again, I’ve been ruined. Every time I go to Europe and eat lots of small meals with fresh organic foods, I come back to America and the processed foods in my favorite restaurants make me feel lousy.
Last night, I went to one of my favorite sushi restaurants, and now I am going to be off of sushi forever. The next time I eat sushi and raw fish will be when I am reincarnated as flipper. The other night I ordered in Chinese food from a healthy Chinese restaurant, and let me tell you that the next time I’ll be eating Chinese food will be when I’m reincarnated as Wo Ming Ching the fisherman.
I miss all the wonderful meals I had in London and in France. Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to take another vacation soon.
Oh, and I want to personally thank everyone who left great comments yesterday about my big announcement on the blog. If you haven’t read about my big announcement, click here (because you missed something pretty huge).
This is something I talk about almost every single day. In order to meet the kind of people you most desire, you need to learn how to attract them (and not chase them).
I mean, how many times are you guys going to go out on a Friday or Saturday night and chase women before you realize that it doesn’t work. You are just what I call chasing the night. You need to realize that your actions — all of your actions — are picked up on by lots of different people.
When I was in Cannes recently, I was standing in line behind a man at a buffet. If you’ve ever seen me in a buffet line, I act like I’ve never eaten a meal before in my entire life. It was one at one of those beautiful hotels in Cannes with a great breakfast buffet, and I was really hungry and anxious to get my hands on the lox.
So I might have gotten a little too close to the man in line in front of me, and at some point we bumped into each other. It was really no big deal. I mean, how many times have you accidentally bumped into someone, right?
That man, however, gave me the dirtiest look in the world — one of those “f*^k you” looks. So I sat down at my table, and I saw him give me yet another dirty look.
How many of you do this? How many of you accidentally bump into someone because you get too close to them, and then give the other person a dirty look because they invaded your personal space?
Do you realize how many other people see you give that dirty look and see the whole interaction take place? They don’t look at the other person as the asshole. They look at you as the asshole.
They don’t wonder what’s wrong with you because you accidentally bumped into someone. They wonder what’s wrong with you that you have to be such as asshole.
When we’re talking about attracting people (and not chasing them), this is the type of thing that will not only not attract others — but will actually repel them. So be careful what you do.
The next time somebody is too close and they bump into you, just smile and say “No big deal.” You never know who is looking at you and checking you out. You never know who is getting turned off by your actions.
When you give the dirty look or something like that, you are turning off every person around you (not just that one person next to you). If you’ve learned anything from what we’ve talked about, it all comes down to creating attraction.
When you give the dirty look, you are actually creating instant detraction. That may or may not be a word, but it is the perfect term for when you doing the exact opposite of attracting people to you (including those people of the opposite sex you most want to attract). So everywhere you go, be sure to avoid the art of detraction.
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Yesterday when I arrived at the security line at LAX, it looked like the opening of a Harry Potter movie. I was thinking to myself, “Why did I fly United again?!” Then I remembered, “Oh yeah . . . it was the only direct flight.”
So because our flight time was getting close, we of course had to be pulled from the line to go through security (along with some others whose flights were also coming up soon). We were on the 11:45 flight.
Of course one woman whose flight was at 11:34, barreled past me breaking Sonja and I up. This other woman says, “Wait! I’m on the 11:24 flight!” and wanted to go ahead of the 11:34 woman, but the 11:34 woman wouldn’t let her go ahead even though the other woman’s flight was before hers.
Did you ever meet someone you just want to kick and shake? That woman was radiating negative energy. I’m sure her purse was filled with Tums, Mylanta, pain medication . . . and maybe some Xanax. She might have even been an emergency Valium woman like my mother.
So I made the flight here to New Orleans, and now I have a job for all of you this weekend. You’re probably thinking, “Wait, I read yesterday’s blog about the job you gave us to reconnect with old friends. You have TWO jobs for us this weekend?” For any of you who need a refresher on yesterday’s blog, CLICK HERE.
For those of you who are regular readers, you know I have limited experience with children. I’ve even called them “little aliens” from time to time, even though they’re really just little people.
I learned some things watching little Ashlyn here. It’s amazing how uninhibited a 2½ year old’s body language and emotions are. You know exactly when a kid wants to talk to you, play with you, communicate something to you . . . and you know when they think you’re a creep.
They are either naturally approachable or naturally unapproachable — like pitbulls. They are based on natural body language intuition, and are without fears and doubts.
So your job, Ethan Hunt . . . oh, wait this isn’t Mission: Impossible . . . is to go find some little kids this weekend and watch them. Go to a Chuck E. Cheese or a park and just enjoy yourself. Don’t go dressed in trenchcoat looking like a creep, and just enjoy the day.
I want you to go back to your more innocent days when you were more open about meeting people. The way to do that is to be open about body language, dynamics and from where the smile comes.
For those of you who think you’re above this, you don’t get the point of this. For those of you who think this is silly, you can be like Kristen’s cats and just hide in your room. People can be so much like cats — you take a cat out of it’s environment to a new place, and it freaks out for weeks and hides in corners in a room.
What would you rather be like? Think about it. Would you rather look at the world and the beauty that it is? Or, would you rather be like Kristen’s cats, Captain Jack and Hercules, scared of the living room? Would you rather be screaming with enjoyment, or screaming with fear?
Here’s a quote I just heard that fits perfectly into today’s blog and is a good ending to it: “You know if you hide from your fears, they don’t go away. They get bigger and they get worse. The only way to get rid of them is to face them.”
Have an amazing Saturday!
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Women send me emails all the time telling me that they have gone out and smiled at a ton of guys, but aren’t getting the the kind of response from men they want. They want to know if they are doing something wrong. My answer? Maybe…
Smiling is critical to being successful at meeting men, but the question is: When you are smiling, what does your body language say about you?
Are you smiling and running? (Are you doing the old “smile and run?”) Are you quickly smiling so that when men see you do it they are not quite sure if it’s a smile or not?
Conversly, are you a woman who blows men away when she smiles because when you smile at a man you smile fully and look directly in his eyes?
I know when a woman stares right in my eyes and gives me a great smile – whether I’m attracted to her or not – that I ALWAYS give her a great smile back. I can’t help it. I’ll think “Wow, did you see that smile? There’s something amazing about it.”
There really is something amazing about a smile like that. It’s about an energy.
So my question to all of you women who are telling me that you are out there smiling and saying hello to men without success is this: How are you actually doing it? Are you saying hello like you really care, or are you saying hello and running? Are you really smiling at somebody from your heart and not just out of fear?
What does your body language say about you? Are you open when you smile, or are your arms folded and you are mainly looking down at the ground? It takes a lot more than to “just smile.” It takes actually being able to give that smile the right way.
I tell women to smile doing the exact same things I do when I smile. When I smile at someone, I look directly in their eyes and smile directly at them. My body language is not closed – my hands aren’t in my pockets and my arms are not folded.
When I say “Hello, how are you today?” I always sound like I’m talking to an old friend. It’s all about your voice tone. It’s all about the way you smile.
If you nervously run up to a guy and say “Hello, how are you?” then he is going to wonder what’s wrong with you and why you are so nervous. If, however, you do it like you’re talking to an old friend then he’s going to respond much more positively to you.
So the next time you smile and say hello to a guy, do it like you’ve known him forever. Pretend that you’re actually going over to say hello to an old friend when you do it. The next time you smile at a guy, pretend like you are smiling at an old friend.
Here is a great exercise I tell many of my female clients to do to help with this. I tell them to put a picture of someone you love as the home screen on your phone. It could be a picture of your dog or your niece at her birthday party. Choose whatever makes you smile when you look at it.
Then the next time you feel intimidated when you see a man to whom you are attracted, all you have to do is look at the home screen on your phone and keep that smile you make looking at the picture when you smile at that guy. This is easy and won’t appear strange to the guy. It is so common for people to be constantly staring at their phones, that the guy will think you were looking at your phone because you just got an email or text message.
What you will really be doing is building up your smile confidence, so you are able to deliver that incredible, killer smile. That kind of smile is believable and will make a guy want very badly to talk to you.
Trust me on this. When a woman comes over and smiles at me and she gives me that smile, all I can ever think about is that intoxicating smile and how badly I want to talk to her.
Today’s video will show you exactly how important body language is in being attractive:
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You know, it’s funny. So many of you guys ask me for tips and advice on women’s body language. You want to know what it means when a woman is standing in a certain way or has her arms folded in a certain way. Once again, you are concentrating on the other person in the wrong way. Let me explain and go more deeply into this.
When you concentrate on and really listen to what someone is saying, your body language is going to reflect that interest to them. The other person will know you are interested and intrigued by them.
When a woman sees you doing this, she will naturally start to loosen up her own body language. She will do this because she knows you’re listening to her and connecting with her. Women are all about connecting with a man. A woman will also start to relax because you are relaxed.
The problem is a lot of guys do the reverse of this. They start talking AT a woman (instead of WITH her), and then they start looking for body language clues from her. They think things like “What does her body language say? or “Her arms are folded. What does that mean?” The problem is that you’re viewing things in the wrong way and the wrong order.
You are the leader, and you need to lead by example. What I mean is that when you go and talk to a woman, her body language most often is going to follow yours.
So if your body language is strong and shows interest in her, then her body language is going to follow yours and reflect signs of interest in you. If your face is engaged – you’re smiling and your eyes are focused in on her eyes – and you are paying real attention to her, then her body language will follow yours.
So you need to stop worrying about her body language all the time, and start paying attention to all the details. I have stressed this throughout every part of every lesson that I’ve ever given: You truly need to become a leader in life. You need to become that kind of man who leads by example.
I never worry about other people’s body language because I always listen and pay attention to the details. I always communicate what I’m feeling and what I’m all about to others. If you do this, you are not only going to see your interaction with women change . . . but you are going to see your life change.
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