“Hey Jim, what is that?” “That’s my iPhone.” Do you get it? It’s like “eye” and “my phone” together — the iPhone!

You know, I think the next thing that should come out to challenge the iPhone should be the EarPhone, because technically all phones go to your ears. Your eye sees the phone, and the ear holds and listens to the phone.

That’s the EarPhone. So somebody please come up with the EarPhone.

What about the LipPhone? Because if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Your eye sees the phone, your ear listens to the phone and your lips talk to the phone.

So you’ve got the iPhone, the EarPhone and the LipPhone. What’s next?

How about the AssPhone? That is where you get a chip in your asshole and you answer it. It would be interesting. It would probably be kind of muffled if the speaker was up your ass, but then again some of the current smartphones are like AssPhones because they have the worst speakers in the world in them.

It’s funny about these phones. They’re all trying to compete with one another.

You’ve got the BlackBerry, which really isn’t even a BlackBerry anymore. It now comes in all different colors. So why don’t they call the red one a RedBerry and the blue one the BlueBerry and just call it a day.

You have the clamshell phone. I always expected that phone to leak fluid all over me like a real clam would.

These smartphones, though, are hilarious. They’re all trying so hard to compete with each other. They want to jam as much energy into these phones as possible. They’re essentially a computer, a bluetooth and a GPS device all in one phone.

Hell, you don’t need anything anymore because there is an app you can get for anything you could possibly need. It’s amazing — there is an app for everything it seems.

You want a girlfriend or a boyfriend? There’s an app for it. It’s called GirlApp and BoyApp. It’s too much all this, really.

Now tablets are being made all over the place. They call them a tablet, however, to me a tablet was always a hit of Ecstasy or acid. That was a tablet. It’s funny the terms we use and the way we say things.

Now Samsung has the tablet, and the iPad is a pad. It doesn’t really feel like a pad. It feels more like a piece of glass in my hands.

Of course, if you ever buy any of this technology when it first comes out then you’re an idiot. New technology is like a first date — they don’t give you it all. They want to tease you as much as they possibly can.

That is what new technology does. It teases you.

I have an iPad, but I got it for free. I never would have bought it, because I knew that like all Apple products, there would be a second generation product that would be much better.

You can almost hear Apple now saying, “Oh wow, we never thought about having a camera on the first generation iPad.” Yeah right.

They knew about it the first time around, they just wanted to go and make $1 billion selling that. It’s called marketing folks. So that’s why you need to wait for the second generation of anything.

So, as always, what does this rant and rave have to do with dating? Well I just gave you something funny to talk about on a date or when you want to meet someone.

When you see somebody grabbing their phone, you can look at them and say, “Aha! The iPhone that really goes on your ear. So it’s really an EarPhone with lips talking into it.”

See I am giving you hilarious things to talk about — or at least I think they are pretty damn funny. Say someone has a tablet, you can go up to them and say, “God, that is not as powerful as the acid I used to do in college.”

So talk about technology. It’s always easy to talk about how technology keeps getting crazier and crazier.

If you think about it, everything you read here on the blog is a discussion you can have on a date. Of course it is. I’m giving you great date topics of conversation here every day.

So for all of you who email me asking what you should talk about tonight on your date, I say why don’t you talk about this blog? Send my blog to like a thousand people today. I’d appreciate it, and then a thousand more people wold have something to talk about the next time someone whips out their iPhone.

The iPhone – they sound so proud of that name. Very cute Steve Jobs. What a fantastic job when it comes to coming up with new technology. As far as the iPad goes, I can only imagine that what is coming next is is the EarPad and the LipPad.

I feel like Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes right now. Wait, was this just my Andy Rooney moment?

Four ways I think texting is great:

1) “See you tonight at 7:00 at Joe’s Restaurant.” It’s great for confirming things.
2) “Did you get home safely?” It’s great as a good night kiss.
3) “What time are we meeting on Sunday? Let me know.” It’s great to reconfirm things.
4) It’s great for late at night when you lob in the “What are you doing right now …?” text. It’s a wonderful way to have verbal foreplay late at night when you’re looking to connect with a lover or a booty call.

Texting is all about short conversations. However, texting can get ugly.

Here are the seven ways that texting can get you into trouble:

1) Words are often misinterpreted. You can text somebody something that you think is joke, and they don’t read it that way. This will get you into trouble, because they may never call you back.

2) Texting is NOT intended to cancel a date. If you want to see somebody again, you need to call them and change the plans. Texting is the chicken way to blow someone off, whether you ever intended to see them or not.

3) Don’t ask someone out via text message. Women especially can’t stand when a guy asks them out via text messaging. Every woman I’ve spoken to thinks that when a guy asks them out via text message, that he really is not that interested in them. And they all wish a guy would just pick up the phone. Guys, if you’re interested, have some balls and just pick up the phone! Granted, some women will say yes to a text date, but they prefer if you call them.

4) If you had a great date the night before, don’t text the person the minute you get up the next morning. Wait a few hours. Let the post-date recap settle down on both sides. Give someone a little time to think about you. There’s no harm in waiting a few hours, especially after a first date. You don’t want to look overanxious.

5) Once you’ve texted back and forth a few times, and unless one of you is in a Turkish prison being tortured by a not-so-friendly cell mate, you need to pick up the phone and have a real conversation.

6) Just because you texted them, doesn’t mean they’re going to respond. Here’s another thing about texting. You’re texting back and forth with someone, then you send something to them and they don’t respond back. They may have gotten on the phone . . . they may have fallen asleep . .. or they may have gone into a meeting. But because texting is so impersonal, you don’t know what happened to them.

7) Let’s say you texted someone on a Tuesday, they responded to your text, you texted them again and . . . now it’s Friday and they still haven’t texted back. What does someone do in that situation? They may not be keeping text count like you are. They may have forgotten to text you back because they got on a long phone call or got caught up in some work, and your text may have gotten lost. Let me ask all of you a question? Do you answer every email that comes in . . . or does one sometimes get buried and go unanswered? If you haven’t heard from someone in a few days, pick up the phone and call them. The old AT&T commercial was the best: “Reach out and touch someone.” You never know what they’re response is going to be. Most of the time you’re going to be pleasantly surprised, but all of the time you’re going to get your answer. That’s what dating is all about . . . getting answers. Plus, you won’t drive yourself and your friends crazy wondering.

There’s a lot of misinterpretation that can happen via text messaging. Understanding all of this I just wrote will help you navigate the fun side of text dating, and help you avoid the bad side of text dating.

Texting is a great way for a little verbal foreplay to stay connected in someone’s life. It’s not a replacement for a phone conversation. So if you’re hoarding your cell phone minutes, I suggest you contact T-Mobile (which I use) and get some more minutes. Start having conversations again instead of hiding behind text messaging!

By the way, if you really want to understand more about the does and dont’s of texting click here.

I seems like it has gotten even more annoying. I think it used to be just two beeps, and that was it. Now it seems to go on beeping forever. Well at least if you have an iPhone or a BlackBerry you can hit ‘ignore’ and not hear the beeping go off.

Life, though, is a lot like call waiting. There is always an option.

Here you are starting to talk to some woman (or man) in a store or at a bar, and there is one person after another coming in and out of left field interrupting. Those people and their interruptions are what I call “human call waiting.” We’ll shorten that to “HCW” for the rest of the blog.

Those people and their interruption are HCW because the person you’re talking to will always feel the need to talk to the HCW whenever they interrupt. The HCW brings their energy in the middle of a great conversation you were having.

So what do you do when a HCW comes over when you are having a conversation? Well it depends whether you are the person that the HCW is coming over to see.

If you are the person that the HCW is coming to see, then you need to tell the HCW “Listen, I’ll talk to you in a few minutes. I’m just in the middle of this great conversation with Mary right now. I really want to talk to you, but I want to finish my conversation with Mary first and give her my undivided attention.”

You need to ignore when other people come crashing into your conversation. You need to do it the way I’ve described, because that shows respect to the person with whom you were having the original conversation.

Think about it. Here is someone who is enjoying a conversation with you and is interested in you (or becoming interested in you). You don’t want to get distracted by HCW. HCW is a distraction you need to ignore.

It is no different than if you are on the phone having a great conversation with someone. HCW is a distraction you need to ignore. Ignore it and continue to give that person on the phone your undivided attention.

It shows interest. It shows attraction. It also shows manners.

You have manners. It’s really important to always give someone your undivided attention.

Life is full of all kinds of HCW. There is always some kind of HCW out there trying to distract you. If you allow HCW to distract you, you are going to miss a lot of great moments in life.

iTards are basically two people who sit across a table from each other and instead of conversing, they just pass an iPhone back and forth to each other. “Look at my picture!” “Wow, look at the new YouTube video that just got posted!” “Wow, check this website out!”

This made me realize that there is a whole new style of dating going on out there. It’s called iTard Dating.

In iTard Dating, you really don’t talk about emotions or life experiences. You just pass an iPhone back and forth to each other.

So whenever you run out of conversation, you just start passing the iPhone back and forth. “Oh my God, I have nothing more to say on this date, but I’m an iTard so let me show you the new apps I just downloaded.”

If not that, maybe you show them some “texting of the future” thing on your iPhone. You say, “Hey, look how I can text everyone I know at once. Look here at my entire text conversation . . . or should we watch a movie together on the iPhone?”

So clearly there is a whole new way of dating going on out there. It’s called iTard Dating, and it’s for all of the iTard people out there.

It’s unbelievable how people are so attached to their iPhones. It really is.

We’ve become a generation not of intelligent people, but of iTards. This is going to be perpetuated if all these iTards get together and have kids. They are going to start having babies together, and have to wait until the baby is born to see if he or she is iTarded or not.

Your state of mind is everything when you go out to meet women. Everything.

If you go out to a bar with some friends after your boss has ridden you all day long and made you feel insignificant, then that is precisely what your state of mind is going to be at the bar. Then your night will really be about cleansing, vomiting and regurgitating the anger and all the feelings you have built up that day.

Say you are going out to the market first thing in the morning. You had a bad night the night before, you are not feeling well and you are in a bad mood. Your state of mind will be exactly that.

Your intent may be to go out and meet women at the market. Your intent may be to go to that bar, flirt and meet women.

If your state of mind is not positive and feeling good about yourself, though, then it doesn’t matter what your intentions are. You will never accomplish anything if your state of mind is not in line with your intent.

It’s amazing how much frustration people have and feel about meeting people due to other sources and stimuli in their life. A little trick I tell people all the time to help with this, is to put a picture on the home screen of your iPhone or BlackBerry of something that makes you feel incredibly wonderful.

It could be a picture of your dog. It could be a picture of the first girl you ever kissed. It could be a picture of the mountain you just climbed last weekend. It doesn’t matter what it is.

Whatever image you choose, look at it whenever you feel funky or nervous before you approach someone. Look at it so you have a smile on your face and feel joy.

That is just one thing you can do. There are so many things you can do to create an amazing, peaceful and joyous state of mind. Whatever way you use to get there, without your own version of the New York state of mind, it doesn’t matter what technique you use to meet people. They will never work.

Technology is amazing. It really is. Technology can really simplify certain things.
That part of technology is great and amazing.

I mean, I can go away on vacation or a business trip and be able to access all my emails from my iPhone. Then when I return, I’m no longer inundated with phone messages and emails because I was able to address a lot of them while I was gone.

With the Internet, I can stay in touch with people I probably never would otherwise. I can post blogs on my BlackBerry or iPhone. There are so many things we can do so much more easily now with technology.

There are some of the simpler things in life which are gone with all the current technology, however, that I do miss. I was listening to an ‘American Top 40′ show on the 70s station of my satellite radio. Listening to some of those songs brought back a lot of memories.

Remember the days when you were dating and you called someone on a pay phone, and the operator would keep coming on the phone asking you to deposit another $0.35? So many times you wouldn’t have any more change but you didn’t want the phone call to end, so you’d start checking the phone and the ground for lost change. For those of you who don’t remember this, allow me a minute to reminisce.

The problem with the whole pay phone thing as someone who was living in New York City, was that pay phones were generally pretty disgusting. The smell of the mouthpiece alone was always repulsive. That part of “simpler” times I don’t miss at all!

What I do miss is coming home to an answering machine and seeing who called you when you were gone. With cell phones and everything right at your fingertips, you don’t get to experience that feeling you got when you came home to a blinking light on an answering machine (signaling that you had messages).

I remember meeting someone and coming home hoping to see that blinking light, and then arriving home to find either no blinking light or that the blinking light was a message from someone else. It was part of dating — that anticipation about the answering machine.

There was no *69. You couldn’t just pick up the phone, dial *69 and see who called you. There was no Caller ID so you couldn’t even see the phone number of that girl who called you but didn’t leave a message.

Dating was more about guessing. You’d wonder, “When is this person going to call? How long are they going to wait to call me?”

Back then if you were in a relationship and got into a fight, you’d be out with your friends and be calling on your answering machine and having to put in your “secret code” to check your messages (and see if your significant other had called). I remember how much fun it was to have a secret code.

Answering machines “voices” back then sounded so mechanical. That voice telling you how many messages you had didn’t resemble a human voice in any way.

I also used to change my answering machine message constantly. I’d change the song I’d put on there and my greeting depending on my mood. I always wanted to create a good listening experience for the women who called me.

One time I had the theme song from “The Brady Bunch” on my answering machine message and came home to about 37 hang-up “clicks” on my answering machine. When I answered the phone the next time the phone rang, i asked the woman on the phone if she was the one who had been calling and hanging up, and she said it was her and that she just wanted to hear that Brady Bunch song over and over again.

Those were some good times. They were simpler times.

Technology certainly is great. With technology you can cruise the Internet. You can go on a website like match.com and meet someone amazing from somewhere across the country, and you can communicate in real time with anyone in the world. You can get a phone call when you’re driving and not have to wait until you’re home.

What you miss with all this technology and instant results is the suspense you used to have with things. It was like Christmas and waiting to see what Santa brought you. You’d come home and be excited to see if you got a message and, if so, from whom. Sometimes you were happy because it was that woman you called earlier, and other times you were a little disappointed because it was just your friend leaving you a message.

I wouldn’t want to go back in time and be without all the awesome technology of today, but I think it would be fun to be able to go back in time for a week or so and get to re-experience all that great anticipation I used to feel. What do you miss that is gone now because of technology? Share with me your favorite story.
Also, share with me your favorite answering machine story or the thing you miss most from when you were young and dating.

No feedback? No “love it” or “hate it” remarks? What’s up with that?

My designer called today and asked for feedback from all of you about the site, and I had to tell him I hadn’t heard a peep from anyone. Now he is depressed and thinking of a new career!

So, let’s help him out and give him some feedback. Tell me what you think of the new site design.

In this corner, we have a BlackBerry weighing 6.2 ounces.  In that corner, we’ve got an iPhone weighing 8.1 ounces. 

The iPhone has texting that you can do with your fingers that is a self-predicted type, but your fingers can’t be too big to get that little keyboard to work. The BlackBerry Pearl has predictive type where they actually choose words for you. The BlackBerry Curve doesn’t have the predictive typing, but it’s bigger so you’re able to type really fast on it.

Now the question is: Which device is best for text fighting? Text fighting is the newest thing in dating.

It’s a wonderful thing. You’re in the middle of an argument with the person you’re dating and they leave the house. Do you remember the good old days when you got into a little argument with your significant other, you walked out of the house and you were able to not talk to that person again until you were ready?

Well that is no more, because now there is the phenomenon of text fighting. Text fighting is wonderful because the second they walk out the door you can send them a text.  Why walk out the door like that? 

Not only that, but you can continue text fighting for hours. You can do it while you’re watching television. You can text fight while driving (although it’s not a brilliant thing to do and against the law in California). You can even do it at the office.

You can consistently text fight for hours — back and forth, circles and circles, round and round.  If you’re really good at texting, you can almost text them as quickly as they text you back.  Some of you are so fast you can have three texts for every one of theirs.

Fights used to last five or ten minutes.  Your lover would leave, you’d have a few hours to cool off, and by the time they got home you’d both apologize because you’d realize both of you were being an ass. 

Now-a-days with text fighting, though, you can continue a fight for long periods of time and even turn the original fight into other fights. Not only that, but text fighting gives each person proof of what an ass they were being during an argument. With text fighting, you can go back and re-read the texts you sent in anger, re-live each angry text.

It’s so destructive! Things that are said in anger should never be thrown back in somebody’s face. Things that are said in anger — whether they come out of your mouth or out of a BlackBerry — should be deleted right away.

They should never be re-read again, because we all say stupid things in anger. We all say stupid things at the wrong moment. You should never hold anyone to what they said in anger.

So if you do get into a text fight, delete those negative texts.  Delete them immediately, because they’re just going to bring more unnecessary bad stuff into your relationship.

So as I was on my BlackBerry, there was a woman standing next to me. I looked at her and very genuinely said, “How is your day?” I did it very nonchalantly, and didn’t think too much about it.

When I see another person standing next to me, I don’t worry about coming up with some magical thing to say or a comic opener to win someone over. I never think, “Oh my God, I have to say something really funny…”

You don’t ever have to say something funny to talk to someone of the opposite sex or to anyone else. You really can just say, “Hey, how is your day?” You need to be genuine about it, like you really do care how their day is going.

After I asked this woman in the market how her day was going, she actually proceeded to give me a pretty detailed account of what she had been doing. She told me about a pool party she had gone to earlier. I said, “oh, I’ve read about those pool parties, but thought everyone there was probably way too young. She told me they weren’t too young and we chatted for a bit.

The next thing you know, she started busting me about the color of my sunglasses and how they matched my BlackBerry. This whole nice, friendly conversation started with a simple, “How is your day?”

So many guys waste so much time thinking about what to say and trying to come up with clever or funny things to say, when really all you need to say is, “How is your day?” Practice it. Practice saying it genuinely. Say it to yourself ten times, “How is your day? How is your day? How is your day?”

What would you say if someone walked over to you and asked you that question? Would you look at them and say, “Is that the best you can come up with? That wasn’t funny or clever.” Come on . . .

“How is your day?” It’s a simple thing to say every single time you see somebody and you’re at a loss for words. You need to say it genuinely and show her that you really are interested in her answer. You may be surprised what kinds of conversations you end up having.

Today i thought this old video would really help out men who can not grasp this simple concept. Time to get out of your own heads!

The perfect summer date!!

Anyway lets talk today about the convenience that things like cell phones, iPhones and BlackBerrys afford us, there is one major drawback: Our constant attention to them may be putting a serious dent in our love lives. There are so many people who spend virtually all day every day giving their cell phone, iPhone or BlackBerry 100% of their attention. Those people are missing opportunities to meet people every day, and in fact may not be meeting people at all.

These are likely the same people, by the way, from whom I receive emails daily complaining that they never see anyone to meet. The irony is that those people are being honest when they say they don’t see anyone to meet . . . but it’s not because people aren’t there. They are victims of “self cell phone sabotage.”

I don’t want any of you to be sabotaging yourselves from finding great connections all because of your cell phone. So to help you be aware if you unknowingly killing your love life by “self cell phone sabotage,” here are 6 ways your phone may be ruining your dating life:

1. You’re Stopping Them Mid-Approach: You’re in a store where someone is checking you out – someone you’ve also noticed and found attractive. Then that someone decides to approach you, but the minute they take their first step in your direction, your phone rings . . . and you answer it. Not only do you answer it, but you proceed to have the same unimportant repetitive conversation with the friend who called you. By doing this, you have stopped someone who was already interested in you from approaching – and they probably won’t wait around to do it a second time.

2. You’re Totally Programmed: Let’s put you in that same store, and that same person you were attracted to walks right by you and smiles just as you receive a text message on your phone. What do you do? Instead of reacting to what’s going on around you and reciprocating with a smile, you react like Pavlov’s dog to the “ding” of the incoming text and immediately look at your phone to find out who texted you. Not only did you miss that person to whom you WERE attracted smiling at you, but by not acknowledging their smile that person will believe you are not interested and they will walk away (and likely never smile at you again).

3. You’re Never “Here”: You could be out with a group of your friends in a great place filled with people you would want to meet. Instead of being present and talking with the people with whom you’re with physically, you are spending the entire time and devoting 100% of your attention to a full-blown conversation you are having with another friend via text message on your BlackBerry. Meanwhile a man or woman that you may have been interested in comes over and starts talking to your group. You are so involved in your text message conversation that you don’t even notice he or she is there. When you don’t acknowledge that person, they will assume you’re not interested and will walk away.

4. It Never Occurs To You To Look: It’s not that you don’t leave the house. You are in the grocery store, the gym, the book store, the coffee shop, or the dry cleaners EVERY DAY. So when I hear people say that they “never see anyone” to meet, I know immediately that they’re not “seeing” anyone because they’re simply not looking. If people want to meet people so badly why aren’t they looking? Well because they allow you to do virtually everything right from the palm of your hand, many people never stop checking their email, making business calls, doing Internet research and sending text messages. So even though they’re out in public, they miss everything (and everyone) around them. They also never interact with anyone – they don’t look at people, smile at people or flirt with people. It it any wonder they’re not meeting anyone?

5. You Make Your Date A “Third Wheel”: You’ve met someone you think you might really like, and you go out on a date with them. So there you are enjoying their company and feeling like there might be an amazing potential connection. Then the red light on your phone starts flashing or your phone starts vibrating alerting you that a text message has just been received. What do you do? Despite the fact that you’re in the middle of a great date, you just can’t resist picking up your phone to see who sent you that text. When you do this, you immediately turn off the person with whom you’re on the date. Nobody likes having a date interrupted by text messages, and nobody likes to feel that their date’s attention is not focused on them. You’re date will feel like a “third wheel.” You’ve also shown your date that your first priority will always be your phone.

6. You’re Always Available But Never Free: When someone tells me that they don’t get approached, or that they never “see” anyone to meet, I know that most of the time this is because that person does not make themselves available. In the case of people who are glued to their cell phone, their BlackBerry or their iPhone, what is happening is that they are “available” in that they are in places where they can meet people but they aren’t ever free. People won’t approach them, because they always seem busy with whatever they’re doing on their phone. They also won’t ever notice potential opportunities to meet people because they never look up from their phone.

So while I love the flexibility and the convenience that my BlackBerry affords me in being able to conduct so many of my business and personal affairs from ANYWHERE, I want to caution everyone to not let them take over your whole life. By doing so, you may be unknowingly killing your dating life.

Start being conscious about how much time you are spending glued to your phone, and try to avoid behaviors like these. Just think how many people you may have completely missed who wanted to meet YOU. Start paying attention to what’s going on LIVE around you. You won’t believe what (and who) you’ve been missing!

The following is a response I gave to a client who asked me how he could meet women even though he is very shy. This is a great example of my direct one-on-one coaching.

You are going to get exactly who you are.

Think about this: I’m a boisterous person and I’m over the top. A woman who is shy and quiet might be intrigued by me, but the thought of hanging out with me for longer than ten minutes would probably drive her nuts. She wouldn’t want to do it because I’m way too hyperactive and crazy.

But for you, as someone who is shy – which many people are – you’re going to attract another person who is shy. You, as a shy person, are not going to approach a Type A woman, because she will intimidate the hell out of you. You’re not ready for that.

But what you are ready for is women who have mannerisms like you; women who are quiet like you. You have to find yourself.

And a lot of women are like that – I would say at least 70% of women are shy, so you have a lot of women to choose from! If you start talking to the women that are also shy, you’ll realize that when you think your heart is beating a million beats per minute and she can see it through your shirt, it’s not! When you feel your lip quivering when you try to smile, she’s feeling the exact same way!

You both are basically mirror reflections of each other. If you keep that in mind, and realize that this woman that you’re attempting to talk to right now is as equally as shy as you, you’re going to realize how much you have in common.

You could even say to her – and I’ve told guys this often – if you’re talking to a woman in a coffee shop, you could say to her, “man, it’s so nice talking to you, I never really talk to people in public.”

You can say the things that are on your mind, and she’ll respond, “oh my god, I’m the same way! I feel the same way!” So don’t be so afraid to let yourself out. You’ll start gradually increasing your confidence, and the women you start attracting will be gradually more and more confident.

This is not to say that the women that are shy and not yet that confident are not amazing – because you’re a good guy, you’d be a great boyfriend in a relationship – probably much better than me. You’d be more loyal, more loving, and more appreciative – just because you’ve struggled more with this thing.

You don’t have the bigger-better mentality that I’ve had – where I think, hey, she’s hot, but I could go get hotter. You’ll be more like, she’s really cool, I really like her, and she’s sweet.

And remember what we talked about – when you’re the good guy (which many of us are) you need to make sure you read up on sex and kick ass in bed, and this woman is going to be thinking, I’ve got the best guy in the world! She’ll think you’re a bad boy, just because you’re good in bed.

So realize that everything is a reflection. You’re attracted to a certain type of woman that is just like you. We all are.

Patrick: You’ll also find that the whole mirror thing works both ways. Not only when you are nervous, she’s nervous too, but if you are calm, even if she was nervous, you’re inducing her to be calm with you. Your presence can make everyone around you come down to earth too.

David: Yeah, do you remember when I said that you have a very calming presence? When you let go and you smile, you are really engaging and warm. When you were smiling at the clothing store and on the beach, you were so calm. People feel safe and comfortable around you.