Technology is amazing. It really is. Technology can really simplify certain things.
That part of technology is great and amazing.

I mean, I can go away on vacation or a business trip and be able to access all my emails from my iPhone. Then when I return, I’m no longer inundated with phone messages and emails because I was able to address a lot of them while I was gone.

With the Internet, I can stay in touch with people I probably never would otherwise. I can post blogs on my BlackBerry or iPhone. There are so many things we can do so much more easily now with technology.

There are some of the simpler things in life which are gone with all the current technology, however, that I do miss. I was listening to an ‘American Top 40′ show on the 70s station of my satellite radio. Listening to some of those songs brought back a lot of memories.

Remember the days when you were dating and you called someone on a pay phone, and the operator would keep coming on the phone asking you to deposit another $0.35? So many times you wouldn’t have any more change but you didn’t want the phone call to end, so you’d start checking the phone and the ground for lost change. For those of you who don’t remember this, allow me a minute to reminisce.

The problem with the whole pay phone thing as someone who was living in New York City, was that pay phones were generally pretty disgusting. The smell of the mouthpiece alone was always repulsive. That part of “simpler” times I don’t miss at all!

What I do miss is coming home to an answering machine and seeing who called you when you were gone. With cell phones and everything right at your fingertips, you don’t get to experience that feeling you got when you came home to a blinking light on an answering machine (signaling that you had messages).

I remember meeting someone and coming home hoping to see that blinking light, and then arriving home to find either no blinking light or that the blinking light was a message from someone else. It was part of dating — that anticipation about the answering machine.

There was no *69. You couldn’t just pick up the phone, dial *69 and see who called you. There was no Caller ID so you couldn’t even see the phone number of that girl who called you but didn’t leave a message.

Dating was more about guessing. You’d wonder, “When is this person going to call? How long are they going to wait to call me?”

Back then if you were in a relationship and got into a fight, you’d be out with your friends and be calling on your answering machine and having to put in your “secret code” to check your messages (and see if your significant other had called). I remember how much fun it was to have a secret code.

Answering machines “voices” back then sounded so mechanical. That voice telling you how many messages you had didn’t resemble a human voice in any way.

I also used to change my answering machine message constantly. I’d change the song I’d put on there and my greeting depending on my mood. I always wanted to create a good listening experience for the women who called me.

One time I had the theme song from “The Brady Bunch” on my answering machine message and came home to about 37 hang-up “clicks” on my answering machine. When I answered the phone the next time the phone rang, i asked the woman on the phone if she was the one who had been calling and hanging up, and she said it was her and that she just wanted to hear that Brady Bunch song over and over again.

Those were some good times. They were simpler times.

Technology certainly is great. With technology you can cruise the Internet. You can go on a website like match.com and meet someone amazing from somewhere across the country, and you can communicate in real time with anyone in the world. You can get a phone call when you’re driving and not have to wait until you’re home.

What you miss with all this technology and instant results is the suspense you used to have with things. It was like Christmas and waiting to see what Santa brought you. You’d come home and be excited to see if you got a message and, if so, from whom. Sometimes you were happy because it was that woman you called earlier, and other times you were a little disappointed because it was just your friend leaving you a message.

I wouldn’t want to go back in time and be without all the awesome technology of today, but I think it would be fun to be able to go back in time for a week or so and get to re-experience all that great anticipation I used to feel. What do you miss that is gone now because of technology? Share with me your favorite story.
Also, share with me your favorite answering machine story or the thing you miss most from when you were young and dating.

No feedback? No “love it” or “hate it” remarks? What’s up with that?

My designer called today and asked for feedback from all of you about the site, and I had to tell him I hadn’t heard a peep from anyone. Now he is depressed and thinking of a new career!

So, let’s help him out and give him some feedback. Tell me what you think of the new site design.

In this corner, we have a BlackBerry weighing 6.2 ounces.  In that corner, we’ve got an iPhone weighing 8.1 ounces. 

The iPhone has texting that you can do with your fingers that is a self-predicted type, but your fingers can’t be too big to get that little keyboard to work. The BlackBerry Pearl has predictive type where they actually choose words for you. The BlackBerry Curve doesn’t have the predictive typing, but it’s bigger so you’re able to type really fast on it.

Now the question is: Which device is best for text fighting? Text fighting is the newest thing in dating.

It’s a wonderful thing. You’re in the middle of an argument with the person you’re dating and they leave the house. Do you remember the good old days when you got into a little argument with your significant other, you walked out of the house and you were able to not talk to that person again until you were ready?

Well that is no more, because now there is the phenomenon of text fighting. Text fighting is wonderful because the second they walk out the door you can send them a text.  Why walk out the door like that? 

Not only that, but you can continue text fighting for hours. You can do it while you’re watching television. You can text fight while driving (although it’s not a brilliant thing to do and against the law in California). You can even do it at the office.

You can consistently text fight for hours — back and forth, circles and circles, round and round.  If you’re really good at texting, you can almost text them as quickly as they text you back.  Some of you are so fast you can have three texts for every one of theirs.

Fights used to last five or ten minutes.  Your lover would leave, you’d have a few hours to cool off, and by the time they got home you’d both apologize because you’d realize both of you were being an ass. 

Now-a-days with text fighting, though, you can continue a fight for long periods of time and even turn the original fight into other fights. Not only that, but text fighting gives each person proof of what an ass they were being during an argument. With text fighting, you can go back and re-read the texts you sent in anger, re-live each angry text.

It’s so destructive! Things that are said in anger should never be thrown back in somebody’s face. Things that are said in anger — whether they come out of your mouth or out of a BlackBerry — should be deleted right away.

They should never be re-read again, because we all say stupid things in anger. We all say stupid things at the wrong moment. You should never hold anyone to what they said in anger.

So if you do get into a text fight, delete those negative texts.  Delete them immediately, because they’re just going to bring more unnecessary bad stuff into your relationship.

So as I was on my BlackBerry, there was a woman standing next to me. I looked at her and very genuinely said, “How is your day?” I did it very nonchalantly, and didn’t think too much about it.

When I see another person standing next to me, I don’t worry about coming up with some magical thing to say or a comic opener to win someone over. I never think, “Oh my God, I have to say something really funny…”

You don’t ever have to say something funny to talk to someone of the opposite sex or to anyone else. You really can just say, “Hey, how is your day?” You need to be genuine about it, like you really do care how their day is going.

After I asked this woman in the market how her day was going, she actually proceeded to give me a pretty detailed account of what she had been doing. She told me about a pool party she had gone to earlier. I said, “oh, I’ve read about those pool parties, but thought everyone there was probably way too young. She told me they weren’t too young and we chatted for a bit.

The next thing you know, she started busting me about the color of my sunglasses and how they matched my BlackBerry. This whole nice, friendly conversation started with a simple, “How is your day?”

So many guys waste so much time thinking about what to say and trying to come up with clever or funny things to say, when really all you need to say is, “How is your day?” Practice it. Practice saying it genuinely. Say it to yourself ten times, “How is your day? How is your day? How is your day?”

What would you say if someone walked over to you and asked you that question? Would you look at them and say, “Is that the best you can come up with? That wasn’t funny or clever.” Come on . . .

“How is your day?” It’s a simple thing to say every single time you see somebody and you’re at a loss for words. You need to say it genuinely and show her that you really are interested in her answer. You may be surprised what kinds of conversations you end up having.

Today i thought this old video would really help out men who can not grasp this simple concept. Time to get out of your own heads!

The perfect summer date!!

Anyway lets talk today about the convenience that things like cell phones, iPhones and BlackBerrys afford us, there is one major drawback: Our constant attention to them may be putting a serious dent in our love lives. There are so many people who spend virtually all day every day giving their cell phone, iPhone or BlackBerry 100% of their attention. Those people are missing opportunities to meet people every day, and in fact may not be meeting people at all.

These are likely the same people, by the way, from whom I receive emails daily complaining that they never see anyone to meet. The irony is that those people are being honest when they say they don’t see anyone to meet . . . but it’s not because people aren’t there. They are victims of “self cell phone sabotage.”

I don’t want any of you to be sabotaging yourselves from finding great connections all because of your cell phone. So to help you be aware if you unknowingly killing your love life by “self cell phone sabotage,” here are 6 ways your phone may be ruining your dating life:

1. You’re Stopping Them Mid-Approach: You’re in a store where someone is checking you out – someone you’ve also noticed and found attractive. Then that someone decides to approach you, but the minute they take their first step in your direction, your phone rings . . . and you answer it. Not only do you answer it, but you proceed to have the same unimportant repetitive conversation with the friend who called you. By doing this, you have stopped someone who was already interested in you from approaching – and they probably won’t wait around to do it a second time.

2. You’re Totally Programmed: Let’s put you in that same store, and that same person you were attracted to walks right by you and smiles just as you receive a text message on your phone. What do you do? Instead of reacting to what’s going on around you and reciprocating with a smile, you react like Pavlov’s dog to the “ding” of the incoming text and immediately look at your phone to find out who texted you. Not only did you miss that person to whom you WERE attracted smiling at you, but by not acknowledging their smile that person will believe you are not interested and they will walk away (and likely never smile at you again).

3. You’re Never “Here”: You could be out with a group of your friends in a great place filled with people you would want to meet. Instead of being present and talking with the people with whom you’re with physically, you are spending the entire time and devoting 100% of your attention to a full-blown conversation you are having with another friend via text message on your BlackBerry. Meanwhile a man or woman that you may have been interested in comes over and starts talking to your group. You are so involved in your text message conversation that you don’t even notice he or she is there. When you don’t acknowledge that person, they will assume you’re not interested and will walk away.

4. It Never Occurs To You To Look: It’s not that you don’t leave the house. You are in the grocery store, the gym, the book store, the coffee shop, or the dry cleaners EVERY DAY. So when I hear people say that they “never see anyone” to meet, I know immediately that they’re not “seeing” anyone because they’re simply not looking. If people want to meet people so badly why aren’t they looking? Well because they allow you to do virtually everything right from the palm of your hand, many people never stop checking their email, making business calls, doing Internet research and sending text messages. So even though they’re out in public, they miss everything (and everyone) around them. They also never interact with anyone – they don’t look at people, smile at people or flirt with people. It it any wonder they’re not meeting anyone?

5. You Make Your Date A “Third Wheel”: You’ve met someone you think you might really like, and you go out on a date with them. So there you are enjoying their company and feeling like there might be an amazing potential connection. Then the red light on your phone starts flashing or your phone starts vibrating alerting you that a text message has just been received. What do you do? Despite the fact that you’re in the middle of a great date, you just can’t resist picking up your phone to see who sent you that text. When you do this, you immediately turn off the person with whom you’re on the date. Nobody likes having a date interrupted by text messages, and nobody likes to feel that their date’s attention is not focused on them. You’re date will feel like a “third wheel.” You’ve also shown your date that your first priority will always be your phone.

6. You’re Always Available But Never Free: When someone tells me that they don’t get approached, or that they never “see” anyone to meet, I know that most of the time this is because that person does not make themselves available. In the case of people who are glued to their cell phone, their BlackBerry or their iPhone, what is happening is that they are “available” in that they are in places where they can meet people but they aren’t ever free. People won’t approach them, because they always seem busy with whatever they’re doing on their phone. They also won’t ever notice potential opportunities to meet people because they never look up from their phone.

So while I love the flexibility and the convenience that my BlackBerry affords me in being able to conduct so many of my business and personal affairs from ANYWHERE, I want to caution everyone to not let them take over your whole life. By doing so, you may be unknowingly killing your dating life.

Start being conscious about how much time you are spending glued to your phone, and try to avoid behaviors like these. Just think how many people you may have completely missed who wanted to meet YOU. Start paying attention to what’s going on LIVE around you. You won’t believe what (and who) you’ve been missing!

The following is a response I gave to a client who asked me how he could meet women even though he is very shy. This is a great example of my direct one-on-one coaching.

You are going to get exactly who you are.

Think about this: I’m a boisterous person and I’m over the top. A woman who is shy and quiet might be intrigued by me, but the thought of hanging out with me for longer than ten minutes would probably drive her nuts. She wouldn’t want to do it because I’m way too hyperactive and crazy.

But for you, as someone who is shy – which many people are – you’re going to attract another person who is shy. You, as a shy person, are not going to approach a Type A woman, because she will intimidate the hell out of you. You’re not ready for that.

But what you are ready for is women who have mannerisms like you; women who are quiet like you. You have to find yourself.

And a lot of women are like that – I would say at least 70% of women are shy, so you have a lot of women to choose from! If you start talking to the women that are also shy, you’ll realize that when you think your heart is beating a million beats per minute and she can see it through your shirt, it’s not! When you feel your lip quivering when you try to smile, she’s feeling the exact same way!

You both are basically mirror reflections of each other. If you keep that in mind, and realize that this woman that you’re attempting to talk to right now is as equally as shy as you, you’re going to realize how much you have in common.

You could even say to her – and I’ve told guys this often – if you’re talking to a woman in a coffee shop, you could say to her, “man, it’s so nice talking to you, I never really talk to people in public.”

You can say the things that are on your mind, and she’ll respond, “oh my god, I’m the same way! I feel the same way!” So don’t be so afraid to let yourself out. You’ll start gradually increasing your confidence, and the women you start attracting will be gradually more and more confident.

This is not to say that the women that are shy and not yet that confident are not amazing – because you’re a good guy, you’d be a great boyfriend in a relationship – probably much better than me. You’d be more loyal, more loving, and more appreciative – just because you’ve struggled more with this thing.

You don’t have the bigger-better mentality that I’ve had – where I think, hey, she’s hot, but I could go get hotter. You’ll be more like, she’s really cool, I really like her, and she’s sweet.

And remember what we talked about – when you’re the good guy (which many of us are) you need to make sure you read up on sex and kick ass in bed, and this woman is going to be thinking, I’ve got the best guy in the world! She’ll think you’re a bad boy, just because you’re good in bed.

So realize that everything is a reflection. You’re attracted to a certain type of woman that is just like you. We all are.

Patrick: You’ll also find that the whole mirror thing works both ways. Not only when you are nervous, she’s nervous too, but if you are calm, even if she was nervous, you’re inducing her to be calm with you. Your presence can make everyone around you come down to earth too.

David: Yeah, do you remember when I said that you have a very calming presence? When you let go and you smile, you are really engaging and warm. When you were smiling at the clothing store and on the beach, you were so calm. People feel safe and comfortable around you.

Hope everyone is having an amazing weekend.

We are in the middle of a great bootcamp.

Yesterday we went to Malibu and everyone had a task at hand.
To have fun like a kid and overcome all fears of approaching women.

It was a huge success and the task was something you would have never imagined.

I will post some of it this week on you tube so stay tuned…..you will be shocked at what we did.

Today we are heading to the Santa Monica Farmers market as well as Venice beach. Till tomorrow.

Today I want to share with everyone a great question I got from someone in an email. I’m sure this kind of stuff is applicable to many of you who are talking on the internet, so let’s talk about this right now.

Client: Hi David. First of all, I’d like to take a second to kiss your ass for opening a whole new world to me. Basically, your Men’s Mastery Series and blogs are amazing, but I’m sure you already know this, so on with my question.

Last I was IMing a girl that I met through a friend and eventually started talking to through MySpace. It was the second time I have talked to her through AIM and I was planning on getting her number so I could ask her out over the phone (as you recommend.)

As we were talking about boring things, she put me in the position to compliment her. Don’t get me wrong: I love to compliment someone when it is deserved, but it was just so blatantly obvious. I felt like I was giving all of my power away.

Here is one example of our conversation:
Her: So are you actually going to get some work done tonight?
Me: I’ll try, but some crazy girl keeps IMing me… haha.
Her: So why don’t you just ignore her?

So now the nice guy inside wants me to say, “because I really enjoy talking to you,” but that just feels too clingy. Plus, I’m not sure if she still views me just as a friend or as someone she is actually interested in. So I just ended up saying, “nah.”

How would you have handled the situation?

David: Tim, I agree with you: it’s best to give compliments when they are deserved. However, in the example you sent me, it looks like you are the one who really put yourself in that situation.

Don’t worry so much about whether or not you give your power away (just don’t do it constantly), but focus more on keeping the vibe fun, playful and exciting. That’s the real art of flirting.

So in your situation, there are multiple ways you could have handled it. You could:
1. Call her out on it
2. Ignore it and give a very open-ended/vague and neutral answer – basically circling around the pot – this creates some form of intrigue
3. Give her an answer that makes her want to know more – using curiosity/intrigue
4. Give her a “conditional compliment”

So here’s how your situation could have played out:

Her: So are you actually going to get some work done tonight?

Me: I’ll try, but some crazy girl keeps IMing me… haha.

Her: So why don’t you just ignore her?

Me:
1. Hmmmm… I think someone is fishing for a compliment here… :p :p :p
2. [yes, just give a smiley face. Do not answer... and let her ask another question]
3. Well, I don’t know what it is… but… there’s something about this girl that makes me want to talk to her more. [you give her the compliment but you keep it vague to keep your power]
4. Because for a lawyer [insert whatever stereotype she is], she’s pretty fun [insert the opposite quality expected from the stereotype]
I hope these suggestions help you. As you can see, you are just vibing based on what she tells you. Your “nice guy” response would be fine as well as long as you come from a position of power and self-respect. The woman can tell from the OVERALL conversation if you are you just trying to please her or if you truly mean what you tell her.
That’s more important that the exact response you give to the woman fishing for compliments. There’s nothing wrong with giving free compliments once in a while – you just can’t come from the wrong place.
Contact me again if you have any more questions. If you want me to go deeper with something, we can set up some form of phone or email coaching.
Have a great weekend!

If you have any questions at all please send them my way and I will use them in newsletters in the future.

I really enjoying hearing from all of you!

Todays Video is all about how to connect with a woman from the moment you first meet her.

In this video my friend Lexi goes over this in detail.