How many times have you heard this from a friend: “I can’t believe my wife is pregnant again!” Really?! You can’t believe it? You’re actively having sex, she’s not using birth control, you’re using the pull-out method and you can’t believe that she’s actually pregnant again?

I hear this all the time from people. “I can’t believe my wife is pregnant again! What am I going to do?”

Well, it’s not what you can do now. It’s what you should have done to prevent it.

Here’s the bottom line. We’re adults. You know that when you stick your penis in a woman’s vagina, move around and ejaculate, that there’s a good chance she will get pregnant.

If you think you’re some kind of superhero called “Pull Out Man,” and you truly believe that no sperm will get inside her no matter how quickly you pull out, then you better start reading. There is something called pre-cum (or pre-ejaculate), and that little bit of pre-cum can go a long way toward cementing that you will have another child coming into the world.

There are plenty of methods of birth control. If you absolutely do not want another kid, then you can find another method of birth control that will work for you and your partner.

Go have a vasectomy if you’re a guy who doesn’t want any more kids and who doesn’t like wearing condoms. It’s quick and relatively painless. I also must say that it’s pretty much the best form of birth control out there.

Cant Wait To See How He Is Going To Breast Feed:)

When you have a vasectomy, your woman no longer has to take a birth control pill that can make her a hormonal mess and make her crazy at times. She doesn’t have to put in an IUD. She doesn’t have to use a diaphragm which, by the way, is pretty nasty. Have you ever seen a woman’s diaphragm spring back at you? She doesn’t have to use the sponge either. Best of all, you don’t have to wear condoms.

Guys, do you remember that Seinfeld episode about the sponge? It’s great. You can use it as birth control, and then a few minutes later you can clean the kitchen with it.

The bottom line here is this: If you don’t want another kid, then take the preventative measures necessary not to have one.

I personally believe there are too many people in the world already. I think every family should have only one kid.

Ooh, I know the debates are going to start with me making that declaration. David, what about brothers and sisters? Oh alright, maybe two should be the limit per family. They do that in Asia.

People who want six, eight, ten kids are just ridiculous. We’re running out of natural resources. Our oceans are full of polluted fish. We’re running out of things every single day, but yet people are very selfish and want families the size of the gigantic SUVs they drive.

This is not meant to be a blog about birth control as a whole. That is a whole other topic I can go off on another time.

If you are adamant about not having another kid, then stop acting like an idiot and take preventative measures. I’m so tired of people saying to me, “I can’t believe my wife is pregnant again!”

Really? You can’t believe that? You weren’t born yesterday. So grow up and realize it’s so easy to get someone pregnant, and just as easy to prevent someone from getting pregnant when you take precautions.

Now you are probably thinking right now that a driller has something to do with a weird new sexual position or kinky kind of sex. If that’s what you’re thinking, you’d be wrong.

The driller with whom I’ve been hanging once a week is my dentist. It seems that every time I go to the dentist nowadays, all she wants to do is drill me.

There is always something she wants to drill this, fill that and inject Novocaine everywhere. I think she must have been a miner in her past life.

Not only that, everyone I’ve sent to her office ends up getting drilled. I mean I know dentists make a lot of money drilling people, but so do hookers. So are dentists just big whores?

They are using some of the same tools that hookers use. Instead of a putting a condom on you when you get head, they use that spit thing to suck the saliva out of your head.

If you think about it, dentists are also like hookers because they keep everything wrapped in plastic. Sometimes they even put a bit camera in your mouth. Why don’t they put a condom on that instead of wrapping it in plastic?

Gee, I wonder why no one looks forward to going to the dentist. It’s a horrible experience.

So how does this relate to dating? You know I’m going to twist it somehow to make it relate.

It’s the end of the year, and some of you have not done enough drilling. Some of you are in inventory mode right now, thinking about the last time you had sex or the last time you had a date. Unfortunately, some of you have had a very dry 2009.

I’m not saying that to be salacious. It’s the truth.

At the end of the year, people go into inventory mode. That’s why it’s easy to have sex at Christmas parties. Some people decide that sex will be their gift for the holidays.

So you do some inventory, realize that you haven’t had enough of the opposite sex during the past year, get hammered, and then you decide this is the night you are going to break this dry spell. I’ve seen this happen over and over again.

People are a lot looser during the holidays. They haven’t gotten any all year long, and when it happens at the office Christmas party they think it must be the egg nog.

It’s not the egg nog. Women realize they haven’t had enough dick and will search one out whether it’s real or made of hard plastic. Men will happily be there to take part.

So on this Tuesday, with just a little more than two weeks to go before Christmas, what are you inventorying in your dating life? Also, what toy did you almost break in before the new year?

You’re dating someone and the very first time you sleep with them, they tell you they are on the pill and that they are clean. Do you just stick it in, or do you actually wrap it?

Do you actually wrap the johnson? Yes, you wrap it. You wrap the johnson.

You think to yourself, “Hmmm, I’m clean. If she says I can stick it in, it must mean that she’s clean.” Where does the trust come in when it comes to sex?

You know you want to be with this person. You know this is someone with whom you would like to explore a relationship. When, though, is the right time to go in without wrapping it?

We never really talk about this subject and about that there are sexually transmitted diseases. You can make each other get papers showing that you are both safe and have no sexually transmitted diseases.

How cautious are you? How careful are you?

Some people seem to just believe that the person they are with is clean as can be if she is on the pill or he doesn’t want to wrap the johnson. People play that game.

So, what is your take on this? I always say that if you don’t know the person well, then better safe than sorry. Wrap it.

Otherwise, you may be making your fourth or fifth date a trip to the AIDS clinic. How much fun would that be? I think we’ll go get some cocktails, have some dinner and go get tested together. That sounds like a blast, doesn’t it?!