Travelling is such a liberating experience. It gives you the freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want. You are the architect of your own experience when you think about it. And it’s funny, because we see that so clearly when we’re travelling and on vacation. It’s like a little bubble of freedom.

But do you see the same thing in your daily lives? Do you live your own life or do you allow others to dictate what to do, what is right and what is wrong in your life? How many of you are really “individuals” in the truest sense of the word? How many of your live your own lives? How many of you do what you want, say what you want, and be who you want to be?

How many of you live a life of total freedom to do what you want, when you want? I’m not talking about work and your other commitments. I’m talking about your free time. Your “me” time. How many of you do what you want but then you don’t listen to your peers? How many of you are still affected by your peers and peer pressure?

I was working out the other day and saw a friend at the gym. She said to me, “It’s great that you really do what you believe in, David. And you have the confidence to just approach and talk to people. But what about if I start smiling at guys and talking to them, aren’t they going to think that I’m easy? Aren’t they going to think that I’m desperate or slutty? No guy wants a girl like that.”

So I looked at her and said, “Do you want to spend your time caring about what other people think, or do you want to live your own life? Who cares what other people think? You give your power away so much to total strangers that you change your behavior, you decide to not go flirt with a guy all because you care what he thinks!”

That doesn’t sound good to me. That means my friend is basically outcome-dependent when it comes to meeting men. It means basically she gives her power away to every single person she meets. And the same goes for a lot of you. It’s time you start living your life for who you are and what you’re all about. Stop being dependent on what others think, and stop living inside your head. It’s crazy how many people live inside their head 24/7. Join us in the outside world.

There are a few different types of people in this world. For starters, there are the people who don’t give a fuck about anybody but themselves. They don’t talk to anybody, and you can feel that attitude from them the second you meet them. It’s a very angry disposition.

Secondly, there are the people that give EVERYTHING to other people and lose a sense of themselves. When they ask you, “How are you?” you get the sense that they really care about your answer – possibly more than they care about themselves.

And then there’s the type of people that just doesn’t want to deal with conversations. They don’t think it’s fun to talk to someone about the bracelet that someone is wearing. They dread those little conversations – even though they can lead to bigger conversations – because they take so much energy.

But it takes so much energy from you to muster up the willingness to have those conversations. It’s not because it’s below you, it’s just exhausting when you know that you have to do it. You know you have to do it all day long to finally connect with the right person.

And then there is me. I go out and realize that life is fun and beautiful. Not to sound like Roberto Benigni, but life IS beautiful. Every day is an amazing gift. Every interaction I have, I can learn about somebody and leave behind a piece of me – yet always remain true to myself.

I’m never giving myself to somebody and then losing my energy; nor am I ever dreading my interactions with other people.

When I go over and ask someone how they are doing, I care about how they are, but I’m not losing myself in the process. Most people expend so much effort asking the person how they are and they just lose themselves in the process.

When I’m going and talking to people, I’m engaging them, I’m having fun, and I’m enjoying it. I’m giving a piece of me but I’m retaining all of my own energy. Nobody can take my energy from me. I don’t dread interactions with other people. I don’t leave them feeling drained or tired.

In fact, I’m being energized by my interactions with others because I know that it’s worth it. Deepak Chopra said that if you can just perform random acts of kindness to strangers all day long without losing yourself then you’ve had an amazing day.

Look at how animals do it. Daphne didn’t even know you, and I told you to take her downstairs, and you did. I did that on purpose. She sat with you, and she hung out with you. She’s a good dog. Dogs can give their energy to someone yet still remain intact, ready for the next thing.

Dogs have endless energy to do things for humans. Human beings get tired from interactions with others. Humans lose a little bit of themselves during each interaction, and they have trouble recharging. Interacting becomes exhausting.

I’ve observed this in so many bootcamps that I’ve conducted: after two days, the guys are totally exhausted. After the weekend, I’m tired; but I’m certainly not exhausted. I feel good.

When I coached all of the bootcamps by myself – and I don’t do the whole thing by myself anymore, my coaches are phenomenal and give my clients an amazing two of the three days – I would go literally from 9 in the morning with the guys until 2 a.m. And I was still invigorated by all of the interactions!

Most people are exhausted because they don’t retain who they are throughout the entire experience. If somebody is boring me or draining my energy, I dismiss them immediately. I just go on automatic pilot.

When I’m on automatic pilot, I realize that there is nothing I can do to change their life or their perspective. They aren’t going to take or breath in any part of me. I might be there physically, but I’m not really there. They think I am – but I’m only as present as they actually are.

Most people will let themselves get drained by that other person. I just walk away and shake the experience off as quickly as I can – because I never actually let them in. Most people let them in.

Do you know how some people just drain you? Some people invigorate you, some people drain you, and some don’t affect you either way. But those energy-suckers can really drain you. They can do this in very small doses throughout the day.

This happens throughout the day so that by the time they leave work or their world, they just can’t shake it off. They’ve been completely drained.

I know that there are times that people can do it to me throughout the day. I work with a woman, who I love, and she’s great, but there are times that she will just suck me dry.

So what do I do? I don’t answer her or I avoid her emails for 24 hours until I can gain back my strong sense of self and my perspective.

It’s really important to do that – otherwise, you’ll just allow people to get into you nonstop.

Are you following this?

Client: I’m trying. This is a new concept for me.

David: I know. It’s a deep concept, and it’s not something that I could understand at 23. At 23, I was running around in circles.

Client: Are you saying that there are some people who you have to avoid in some way?

David: Yeah. There will be people today that we’ll talk to who will just drain you. What you will do in that situation is try to make it work – you’ll think it’s YOU. You’ll think, why can’t I connect with this person? What did I do wrong?

But you really should just look at this person as a total mental drain.

Client: Is it a flaw in that person’s character?

David: It’s just who they are. This person is just an exhausting individual. They are not somebody that you will ever connect with – nor should you.

You know that in life you’re not going to connect with every single person. It’s impossible to connect with every soul.

A lot of guys will sit there, beat themselves up and think to themselves, ‘What did I do wrong here? What could I have done to get this person to respond to me?’

Some people will do this consciously and others will do it subconsciously. And throughout the day, these interactions will take place. The more that they occur, the more drained you become.

When you become drained like that, you lose a sense of reality and a sense of yourself. Then when you go home, you don’t know exactly what is bugging you, but you have this feeling that you’ve hit up against a wall somewhere. There is something wrong, and you hit a wall.

You don’t have anything left for yourself, and you certainly don’t have anything left for the people in your life who you care about – your family, your friends, whomever. It takes the whole night to recover from something that you really should have protected yourself from throughout the day.

This happens to so many people. They hit these emotional walls because people are basically stealing parts of your soul throughout the day.

Client: So there are ways of talking with tons of people and not being drained?

David: I don’t lose myself. Some people lose themselves. I don’t take it personally. If someone doesn’t respond to me, I say to myself, so they didn’t respond to me. That has nothing to do with me. It has to do with them, with their social skills, and the way that they look at the world.

I was not put on this earth to please people. I was put on this earth to please myself. And through doing that, I’ll make the world a better place. People are attracted to me because of my energy and who I am as a person.

Client: That’s definitely a paradigm shift!

David: Yeah, it’s huge! And it’s something that is so important to learn. This is a lesson where you give yourself to people because you enjoy it. But you walk away on your own two legs and leave it behind.

You leave a piece of yourself with everyone you connect with, but you leave completely whole. It’s the Law of Attraction, and it’s the reason that people are attracted to you in the first place.

The minute people start sucking energy from me I check out. It’s not me; it’s them! And I don’t owe them anything.