How do you like somebody that you’ve never spoken to before? That’s the most ridiculous concept in the entire world, and it’s something that everybody needs to get over. You like somebody? You like the way they look – let’s break it down into what it really is.

You see someone that is physically appealing to you, so you look at them from across the room and the first thing that triggers in your mind – the only thing that should trigger in your mind – is that you like the way they look. That’s it.

You don’t like them; you don’t even know what they’re about. The woman or man that you’re looking at could have a big huge piece of broccoli between their teeth, a booger hanging out of their nose, or breath that would absolutely rival your dog’s on his worst day.

But yet you’ve built them up as this incredible fantasy before you even talk to them. You build them up as something – maybe they are the person that is going to rescue you from your single hell. You hope that this is the last person that you ever need to talk to again, because you are just so sick and tired of being single.

But the bottom line is that the stranger that you’re looking at – is just that: a stranger, the physical image of who they are. It might as well be just a photograph. If you start manufacturing this entire fantasy about who they are, you’re not even notice anything about what they might be doing.

You’re not noticing what they are doing, you’re not noticing their body language, and you’re not noticing any emotions that may be on their face. You’re noticing absolutely nothing. Nothing. Because you’re lost in fantasyland, in la la land, and you’re creating this whole fantasy.

So now everybody in fantasyland starts thinking about what to say. What do I say to this incredible person that I like and want to meet so badly? You don’t like them! You like the way they look!

So what you need to do is realize that until you speak to a person, you have no idea what they are about. If you think about it – 90% of people that you spoke to in your life you had no chemistry with. That’s right – nine out of ten people that you don’t really have much chemistry with. And that’s fine – at least you went over there and talked to them.

The only way to figure out if you like them is to go over and talk to them. Talk to them like they are a person – which is exactly what they are. Don’t treat them any differently, talk to them exactly how they are.

Last night, we were in a bar and we were all out. I looked at my client and I said to him, “there’s a woman, why don’t you just go walk over and talk to her?” “Now?” he asked, and I responded, “no, why don’t you wait until you get hammered and shitfaced drunk? And then, when she’s sitting down at a table, you can beat yourself up because you didn’t go talk to her all night long.”

“Yes, NOW!” “But she’s cute!” he said, and I responded, “it doesn’t matter! Walk the hell over there and find out what she’s all about!” And he did, and they talked for 20 minutes and had a great conversation. Do you know what he found out? That she was a nice woman.

That’s what you need to do. If you see someone that you are attracted to, you don’t like them. You just like the way that they look. They are physically appealing to your eyes, and that’s about it.

So your mindset needs to be whatever it might be to get you to walk over there. You can use any type of mindset tricks. You can think to yourself, man, I’m going to go over there and talk to that person and see if they have as bad of breath as I think they do. Anything to get you laughing and smiling.

All you guys know the women masturbation fantasy, and if you haven’t heard about it, I go into unbelievable detail in the Mastery Series, where I give you an exercise to picture a woman full-blown masturbating about you – then you’ll have that devilish little smile when you approach her.

For all the women – you know exactly what I’m talking about – I give you the Scooby Doo fantasy – because men are just drippers and droolers and giant Scooby Doos – all of that is in my Women’s Mastery Series.

I don’t want to get into those visuals right now – if you haven’t purchased the Mastery Series, I suggest that you do. At this point, it will really teach you how to understand the mindset of the opposite sex.

But let’s go further into this right now: you don’t know this person yet. Walk the hell over there and talk to them. Start a conversation, as I always talk about, based on observations and everything else.

You know what? You might find out that this dream person is actually the worst nightmare in the entire world. She might be whipping out pictures of her mother and her father and her three illegitimate children running around the hills of western Kentucky.

You don’t know what the hell she’s all about. So go talk to her, and stay out of fantasyland – stay in reality.

Lets go even deeper into attraction today.

Before you read todays blog you need to make sure that you check out todays free podcast at the bottom.

Soulmates…..Myth or Reality?

Todays blog will be part of a live coaching from London with a client. Hopefully these exchanges with my client will give you an idea of my coaching style. Consider it a sneak peek into what I do when I am coaching clients and leading bootcamps!

Robert: So what ages would you say were the women on the subway that you met?

David: They’re all ages – probably 25, 26, and close to 40 – they’re all ages, all the time. I don’t show the age.

When you ask them out, you want to do so basing it on something that you’ve already talked about, right? So for instance with the black woman in the shoe store, you can let it sit a bit, and don’t focus in, and you can have it. So I would have asked her out, and I would have been funny! I would have said, “so do I get a bigger discount if we go out for a drink?”

Or the British Nanny Girl in the art store, how would I have asked her out? I would have just said, “you know, I need another art lesson – give me your number, we need to talk more about it,” and that’s how I would have asked her out.

The Paul & Joe woman, I would have said, “you know what? You’re fun. You and I have to go shopping one day and look through a bunch of look books. Give me your phone number.” That’s how I would have asked her out.

There was another girl in Harvey Nichols that I met when I was trying on a pair of jeans. She picked out a pair of jeans that she liked for me, and I would have said to her, “you know what? I have to get back to my friends, but you have to give me your number. I feel really selfish right now, next time we’ll go jean shopping for you. I don’t want it to be only about me!”

Those are ways you ask women out. You ask them out based on everything that you have talked about with them during that conversation. You pick an emotional talking point, and you ask them out based on this. By asking a woman out based on an emotional talking point, it shows that you’re different than almost every other guy out there.

Most guys don’t listen, and they don’t pay attention. And what do women want? They want you to pay attention! What did your mother always tell you when you were a little kid? “You never listen to me!” So those are ways that you could have asked those women out.

What about one of the waitresses today? It would have been the same thing – you could have said, “I’m enjoying so much learning about your country, let’s get together, I want to learn more.”

Robert: And you would have done it like that? Like in her workplace?

David: Yeah, that’s how I do it.

Robert: And there are no repercussions or anything like that?

David: No, they either say yes or no. They don’t care about anything else.

What about the Whole Foods Girl? The Chip Girl with her hat? I would have said, “you know, I don’t want to see you hurt yourself on the way home. Give me your number; let’s get together and I’ll bring you a bag of chips. Because if you fall, then I want to make sure you have a nice bag of chips,” or “I don’t want them crushing when you put them on your seat.”

Here’s the thing: that’s creative. When you ask a woman out that way, you’re creating their Notting Hill/Hugh Grant moment for them. It’s that serendipitous moment for them. You want them to basically call all their friends and say, “you will not believe what happened to me today.”

Let them recite the story. What will happen is that by the time they tell their friends, text their friends – you’re a legend! All their friends are saying, “oh my god, Mary, that is so cool – I can’t believe that happened to you at work today! Wow, tell me about him again.”

Then you have a nickname – let’s say if you met her at the restaurant, you might be known as Beetroot Salad Man. You might be Portrait Guy, or Denim Guy – you want to be that guy. You want to be the guy that gets that nickname, because if you get the nickname then they are passing that nickname along to every one of their friends, and it becomes something that’s really fun. You’ve created that moment.

Women want a relationship to start at hello. That’s how they look at things. They’ve been reading romance novels. So when you open them in the ways we’ve talked about – with energy, observations – and you ask them out based on stuff you’ve already talked to them about, they feel like you’ve paid attention to detail. If you read any type of romance novel, or see any type of romantic comedy, that’s how it’s done! And that’s why women go ‘ooh’ and ‘aah.’

You can ooh and aah them just as easily as anyone else. And the great thing about this is that 95% of men don’t do this. You’re in that 5% range. Do you want to be like everybody else, or do you want to be in that 5% range?

Today we are going to tackle the toughest question ever.

Soulmates Myth or Reality?

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