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Soulmates…..Myth or Reality?

Todays blog will be part of a live coaching from London with a client. Hopefully these exchanges with my client will give you an idea of my coaching style. Consider it a sneak peek into what I do when I am coaching clients and leading bootcamps!

Robert: So what ages would you say were the women on the subway that you met?

David: They’re all ages – probably 25, 26, and close to 40 – they’re all ages, all the time. I don’t show the age.

When you ask them out, you want to do so basing it on something that you’ve already talked about, right? So for instance with the black woman in the shoe store, you can let it sit a bit, and don’t focus in, and you can have it. So I would have asked her out, and I would have been funny! I would have said, “so do I get a bigger discount if we go out for a drink?”

Or the British Nanny Girl in the art store, how would I have asked her out? I would have just said, “you know, I need another art lesson – give me your number, we need to talk more about it,” and that’s how I would have asked her out.

The Paul & Joe woman, I would have said, “you know what? You’re fun. You and I have to go shopping one day and look through a bunch of look books. Give me your phone number.” That’s how I would have asked her out.

There was another girl in Harvey Nichols that I met when I was trying on a pair of jeans. She picked out a pair of jeans that she liked for me, and I would have said to her, “you know what? I have to get back to my friends, but you have to give me your number. I feel really selfish right now, next time we’ll go jean shopping for you. I don’t want it to be only about me!”

Those are ways you ask women out. You ask them out based on everything that you have talked about with them during that conversation. You pick an emotional talking point, and you ask them out based on this. By asking a woman out based on an emotional talking point, it shows that you’re different than almost every other guy out there.

Most guys don’t listen, and they don’t pay attention. And what do women want? They want you to pay attention! What did your mother always tell you when you were a little kid? “You never listen to me!” So those are ways that you could have asked those women out.

What about one of the waitresses today? It would have been the same thing – you could have said, “I’m enjoying so much learning about your country, let’s get together, I want to learn more.”

Robert: And you would have done it like that? Like in her workplace?

David: Yeah, that’s how I do it.

Robert: And there are no repercussions or anything like that?

David: No, they either say yes or no. They don’t care about anything else.

What about the Whole Foods Girl? The Chip Girl with her hat? I would have said, “you know, I don’t want to see you hurt yourself on the way home. Give me your number; let’s get together and I’ll bring you a bag of chips. Because if you fall, then I want to make sure you have a nice bag of chips,” or “I don’t want them crushing when you put them on your seat.”

Here’s the thing: that’s creative. When you ask a woman out that way, you’re creating their Notting Hill/Hugh Grant moment for them. It’s that serendipitous moment for them. You want them to basically call all their friends and say, “you will not believe what happened to me today.”

Let them recite the story. What will happen is that by the time they tell their friends, text their friends – you’re a legend! All their friends are saying, “oh my god, Mary, that is so cool – I can’t believe that happened to you at work today! Wow, tell me about him again.”

Then you have a nickname – let’s say if you met her at the restaurant, you might be known as Beetroot Salad Man. You might be Portrait Guy, or Denim Guy – you want to be that guy. You want to be the guy that gets that nickname, because if you get the nickname then they are passing that nickname along to every one of their friends, and it becomes something that’s really fun. You’ve created that moment.

Women want a relationship to start at hello. That’s how they look at things. They’ve been reading romance novels. So when you open them in the ways we’ve talked about – with energy, observations – and you ask them out based on stuff you’ve already talked to them about, they feel like you’ve paid attention to detail. If you read any type of romance novel, or see any type of romantic comedy, that’s how it’s done! And that’s why women go ‘ooh’ and ‘aah.’

You can ooh and aah them just as easily as anyone else. And the great thing about this is that 95% of men don’t do this. You’re in that 5% range. Do you want to be like everybody else, or do you want to be in that 5% range?

Today we are going to tackle the toughest question ever.

Soulmates Myth or Reality?

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So now it is summer time. It is a good time to update your wardrobe. Plus all the sales are now are taking place and most of the clothes are 50% off!!

What is really fun about updating your wardrobe is not buying the stuff and then taking it home; it’s the actual act of buying it – the art of buying. This gives you the opportunity to walk into any clothing store you want, find a woman you are attracted to, look at her, walk directly over to her and say, “hey, I’m looking to update my look, and I’d like to get your opinion on it. I’m curious: what would you like to see on my if I came and picked you up at your house tonight?”

Be playful a little bit. Let her dress you. Have some fun with it. Do something different – push yourself out of your comfort zone! If that’s too bold of a statement for you to make when you walk in there, then walk up to her and say, “listen, I’ve been to a couple of stores and I’m looking to update my wardrobe, what do you think would look good on me?”

That’s it. “I was wondering…” or “I was curious…” – these are two very powerful phrases because they allow you to get them to talk about their emotions. Curiosity and wonder are emotion-based, and you use these words to engage her in a conversation.

What you do is walk into that store and engage her in a conversation. You allow her to dress you, you have some playful banter – you can find out whether or not she likes you through the playful banter.

But the bottom line is, it’s springtime, and you probably do need some new clothes. You need to get out there and do it. Head to the mall, head to a store where you see a woman you are attracted to, and walk directly in there.

Let’s say there’s a woman shopping in the store – it doesn’t matter who she is shopping for – her boyfriend, her brother, whoever. Ask her! Try something on, and walk over to her and say, “hey, let me ask you a quick question: I’m curious, what do you think of this shirt on me? What do you think of these jeans on me?” Get her opinion on the whole thing. You never know – she may not have a boyfriend. She may actually be shopping for her father or her brother. She may be shopping for you! Who knows?

If you talk to her and have a good time talking with her, what happens is that you’ve made a new contact, and that new contact could be somebody that you could meet again at a later date – and perhaps at that later date, they have a really good-looking friend with them. Then you’ll have an opportunity to go and meet her friend through her.

It’s all about connecting, and all about having fun. So think of shopping in a whole different way, and go out and enjoy yourself.

If you’re on a budget and don’t have much money for clothes – don’t worry about it. You can go window shop and try some clothes on, figure out what you’re going to buy at a later date, and still have fun meeting people.

Talk to you soon!
Todays Video is all about how to be dynamic even if you don’t have the new clothes!!!