Men are extremely visual. Women need to realize that men are extremely visual.
Being visual does not refer to what men find attractive, but rather how they become attracted to women. It means that you need to use your sexuality and your femininity to attract men.
A man will look at a woman many times — five, six, seven, ten, twelve times — and will not stop looking until a woman acknowledges him. A woman who knows and understands this, can easily get a man to approach by acknowledging him. It’s really very simple.
Say you see a man to whom you are attracted. You need to look directly at him and smile. If he notices you, then go back and smile at him again.
When you do this, the man will become very curious and wonder why you’re smiling at him over and over again. You need to encourage him to come over to you.
Understand that men are basically Scooby Doos on steroids. You’re the Scooby Snack, and you need to lay the crumbs down for men.
The crumbs are your smiles. The crumbs are a casual hello. Once a man spots a woman to whom he is attracted, you are able to go and lead him with your femininity and your smile to come over to you.
In order to really learn and understand this at a deeper level, though, you need to be observant about all your surroundings. You have to be able to look around at all your surroundings and know that men are looking at you all the time.
Most women are not observant. Most women walk into a place with their head in the clouds — on their BlackBerry or thinking about what’s on their “to do” list — and never notice men noticing them.
So one of the best things to do to learn how to be more observant is to go out in the field with a friend for a day. Have your friend be your “wing girl” for the day, with her job all day long being just to observe you and to notice all the men who are checking you out.
By doing that, and by having her point all these men out to you, you will see all the opportunities you are missing to meet men every single day. Most women have opportunities to meet men that present themselves all day long, but unfortunately they are almost never looking!
Women have been taught not to look. Men, on the other hand, are looking at women nonstop.
Men never stop looking for women. Men are always looking for women, talking about women and obsessing about women. That is how men are visual. So in order for you to become better at this, you need to learn to be more aware of your surroundings.
When I talk about using your femininity and your sexuality, I am not talking about being “slutty” or overtly coming on to men all day long. I am talking about sexuality and femininity that exudes from within.
For example, women who have a lot of masculine energy need to dress more sexy. Many women end up having very masculine energy about them due their careers. You need to feel sexy as a woman. You need to put yourself out there more. You need to really explore your feminine side.
Take a look at your body type. Take a look at the type of woman you are. Start looking through magazines that have women with similar body types to you in them. See how those women dress sexy. Go to a store and get a makeover. Find a way to express your sexuality and to feel sexy from within yourself.
Men are attracted to all body types and to all types of women. The key thing here, though, is that men are attracted to sexy women of all body types.
So women really need to explore that side of themselves more. Women need to learn to use their feminine energy and start flirting. The Scooby Doos out there will respond when you do.
In order to meet somebody great, you need to create a great lifestyle for yourself. You need to do things you love.
The first thing (and one of the most important things) you need to do, is to evaluate your work environment. You need to be in a healthy work environment, one you love and one that has people in it with whom you enjoy spending time.
Of course there are going to be times at work you don’t enjoy. There’s going to be things you have to do that you don’t like. There are going to be people you need to interact with whom you don’t particularly like. In the grand scheme of things, though, you have to decide which compromises you’re willing to make with yourself.
You may be in a job that doesn’t stimulate you like it used to, but it pays you well enough to allow you to maintain the lifestyle you really enjoy. So you make an agreement with yourself that you’re going to stick with this job because it allows you to do the things you like to do outside of work.
If that job is something you just don’t like anymore then you could move to another company, except you’re afraid to move. If you can make a lateral move where you don’t lose money or seniority, then I suggest you spend some time and energy to do that. It will really improve your life overall.
Lifestyle is something a lot of people don’t fully understand. Lifestyle means doing the things that you love. If you do the things you love to do, you will always have something to talk about with people.
If you’re somebody who does not enjoy going to a bar, then you’re really not going to have things to talk about there. You’re just going to be standing there punching the time clock. You’re basically going to be walking in, handing your time card to the bartender to punch, spending a few hours there, paying your bill and then punching out before you leave. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?
So, do things that you love. If you like exploring new neighborhoods, explore new neighborhoods. It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s only important that the “it” is something you love.
One of the reasons why creating a lifestyle like this is so important, is that creating a lifestyle makes you more open. You want to be open all the time.
Don’t go places and just “show up.” When you go to places, you want to show up and embrace everything.
You need to smile. You need to talk to people. You need to have random conversations with strangers all day long. That way, when you find someone to whom you are attracted you will have an open energy that will attract them (and get them to come over and approach you!).
The reason why a lot of women don’t get approached and a lot of men aren’t approachable, is because they’ve got a look on their face that says ‘don’t talk to me’ to people. People have that look on their face because they’re not really having fun.
They are not enjoying things. Everything you do, you should do with a child-like enthusiasm.
Go to the supermarket and act like you’ve never before been in there. Look through everything, have a good time and ask questions.
Ask questions of other people in the store. If you see someone getting a brand of yogurt you’ve never tried say, “I’m curious. I’ve never had that. Is it good?” Use those kind of approaches to talk to people everywhere.
Let’s say you’re in a brand new coffee shop and it’s your first time there. Don’t just order a cup of coffee. Ask the person standing in line next to you, “What do you recommend?” Even if you’re the only one in line, ask the guy behind the counter, “Hey, What’s good here?”
Get into a conversation, because people notice open energy. People notice people who are having fun. People notice people to whom other people are talking. It’s called attraction.
The law of attraction works. When you walk into a place and you start talking to a bunch of different people, other people will line up and want to talk to you.
I teach this at my Bootcamps all the time, and the guys see firsthand that it works every time. I remember one time at a Bootcamp we went into Neiman Marcus and started to talk to a woman.
All of a sudden, everyone was watching us and watching this interaction. Everyone was watching her smile. Everyone was watching us smile. When we went into another department, I had the guys do the exact same thing.
So when we came back through again for the second time, people literally started walking up to us and started conversations with us. One woman said, “Wow, you guys are so much fun!”
That is the kind of energy to which people are attracted. People are attracted to people having a good time. No one wants to hang out with a person who’s pouting, folding their arms and looking miserable.
So it’s about creating a lifestyle and being open. Do things that you love, and enjoy and embrace every moment.
By doing that, you will naturally start attracting people. You’ll be more open, so people will start talking to you. Being open will also get you to start talking to more people.
The key here is that when you are more open, people will notice you and will want to be around you. If they want to be around you, they’ll start talking to you.
Sunday is still by far my favorite day of the week. You know what’s so funny, though, is how many people beginning on Sunday afternoon experience what I call “Monday anxiety.”
The minute Sunday afternoon rolls around, they start thinking about work. They start worrying about the upcoming week. My Mom even used to lay out the clothes she was going to wear on Monday. People do all this, and in essence kill the rest of their Sunday.
What is really sad about this, is that people who have “Monday anxiety” are people who really only have a one day weekend. As far as I’m concerned, I couldn’t care less about Monday until it is Monday.
So today for those of you who suffer from “Monday anxiety,” just relax and enjoy your Sunday! I purposely posted this blog late today, because I know you “Monday anxiety” sufferers are already deep into your suffering and I was hoping that just maybe this might be your connection back to Sunday.
Today’s blog is directed to the women out there, but I know all you guys can relate to this situation as well.
You know, it is difficult for most guys to approach a group of women. Women are just brutal about going out in packs of three or four, and then just huddling together. It’s really intimidating for a lot of guys to approach the group to meet one of the women in the group in whom he’s interested.
There is something I see going on time and time again in these “packs” of women that I really wanted to address. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone out and seen a man approach one of these packs of women, and there will be one woman who sits there texting someone who is not even there but giving the absent party the blow by blow of what’s going on around her.
You can imagine the texts now. “Oh Mary, you should really come here. There are so many cute guys here.” I would want to ask our texter this: How would YOU know? You’re not even present!
When you’re out and with a group of people, don’t text another person who is not there. It’s hard enough for guys to approach you in the first place.
You don’t want to be that woman who is just texting away nonstop, because it means that you are not present in the moment. If you’re not present in the moment then you’re going to miss tons of opportunities to meet someone.
So from now on if you’re out with a group and feel compelled to have a text talk, then take yourself to the bathroom and do it when you’re alone. Don’t text people when you’re in a restaurant or bar when you’re out to meet people.
Don’t text people who aren’t there, because as you’re giving attention to someone who isn’t there you are also ignoring people who are there. In particular, you are ignoring any men with whom you could possibly be connecting at that moment.
So start opening up your energy. The truth is that if you are out in one of these “women packs,” you are going to have to if you want men to approach. Four women will be out together in a football-like huddle, and they will wonder why guys aren’t approaching them.
If you want men to approach you in this situation, your energy has to change. You have to smile. You’ve got to face the room, and not have your back turned to the crowd of people around you. When you do that, you make it virtually impossible to approach you.
When you open your energy, face the crowd and smile, you make it possible for men to break into your pack. So the next time you’re out and one of your friends is texting, grab her phone and tell her to remain open and present. You will all have a much more enjoyable night!
Women send me emails all the time telling me that they have gone out and smiled at a ton of guys, but aren’t getting the the kind of response from men they want. They want to know if they are doing something wrong. My answer? Maybe…
Smiling is critical to being successful at meeting men, but the question is: When you are smiling, what does your body language say about you?
Are you smiling and running? (Are you doing the old “smile and run?”) Are you quickly smiling so that when men see you do it they are not quite sure if it’s a smile or not?
Conversly, are you a woman who blows men away when she smiles because when you smile at a man you smile fully and look directly in his eyes?
I know when a woman stares right in my eyes and gives me a great smile – whether I’m attracted to her or not – that I ALWAYS give her a great smile back. I can’t help it. I’ll think “Wow, did you see that smile? There’s something amazing about it.”
There really is something amazing about a smile like that. It’s about an energy.
So my question to all of you women who are telling me that you are out there smiling and saying hello to men without success is this: How are you actually doing it? Are you saying hello like you really care, or are you saying hello and running? Are you really smiling at somebody from your heart and not just out of fear?
What does your body language say about you? Are you open when you smile, or are your arms folded and you are mainly looking down at the ground? It takes a lot more than to “just smile.” It takes actually being able to give that smile the right way.
I tell women to smile doing the exact same things I do when I smile. When I smile at someone, I look directly in their eyes and smile directly at them. My body language is not closed – my hands aren’t in my pockets and my arms are not folded.
When I say “Hello, how are you today?” I always sound like I’m talking to an old friend. It’s all about your voice tone. It’s all about the way you smile.
If you nervously run up to a guy and say “Hello, how are you?” then he is going to wonder what’s wrong with you and why you are so nervous. If, however, you do it like you’re talking to an old friend then he’s going to respond much more positively to you.
So the next time you smile and say hello to a guy, do it like you’ve known him forever. Pretend that you’re actually going over to say hello to an old friend when you do it. The next time you smile at a guy, pretend like you are smiling at an old friend.
Here is a great exercise I tell many of my female clients to do to help with this. I tell them to put a picture of someone you love as the home screen on your phone. It could be a picture of your dog or your niece at her birthday party. Choose whatever makes you smile when you look at it.
Then the next time you feel intimidated when you see a man to whom you are attracted, all you have to do is look at the home screen on your phone and keep that smile you make looking at the picture when you smile at that guy. This is easy and won’t appear strange to the guy. It is so common for people to be constantly staring at their phones, that the guy will think you were looking at your phone because you just got an email or text message.
What you will really be doing is building up your smile confidence, so you are able to deliver that incredible, killer smile. That kind of smile is believable and will make a guy want very badly to talk to you.
Trust me on this. When a woman comes over and smiles at me and she gives me that smile, all I can ever think about is that intoxicating smile and how badly I want to talk to her.
Today’s video will show you exactly how important body language is in being attractive:
