|
|
|
|
|
Posts Tagged ‘attract women’ |
|
| |
Friday, November 13th, 2009
Before you listen to today’s podcast, I am about to share with all the men something to which you need to really pay attention.
Yesterday on the flight home from New York City, I was sitting next to a guy who was wearing a pair of True Religion jeans. Every time he bent over or reached down for something, the whole plane had the privilege of seeing half of his hairy ass. I am not just talking “plumber butt crack,” this was plumber butt crack on steroids.
This is not something anyone needs to see . . . ever. Every time he moved, every person on that plane — women, men and children — were forced to see his ass.
SO, guys, if you can feel the wind chafing your ass when you are wearing jeans, then it means they are way too low and you need to cover up!
Now, on to another revealing topic . . .
This might be the most powerful podcast you will ever hear. I was recently on the phone with a guy who was thinking about taking a Bootcamp, and he asked me why he has trouble approaching women. He had already attended someone else’s bootcamp at which they had instructed him to approach women using some kind of pickup line.
I told him that pickup lines will never work. Life is all about observations based on instincts. He asked me about what kind of instincts I was talking, and I told him I was talking about the kind of instincts we have as a child.
Remember when you were a kid (maybe three, four or five years old) and you’d see something you like so you’d look at it and touch it? Remember also how when you did that your mother would scold you and say, “Don’t do that?”
Do you realize that the social conditioning we got from about the age of four to about the age of eleven was all about the things we should not do (and all about the things we can’t do)? Don’t look at strangers. Don’t talk to strangers. Don’t smile at that person.
Our social conditioning is the reason why so many of us out there now suffer from problems meeting the opposite sex. Our social conditioning taught us not to talk to people instead of relying on our natural instincts.
This podcast will truly blow you away. It is by far the most important podcast I’ve ever done. Enough writing now. It’s time to open your ears and start listening!
Also, if you want to learn how to recapture your natural instincts and de-program yourself from all of you bad social conditioning, then you need to check out my Men’s “What’s Your Excuse?” and my Women’s “No Excuses” programs.
Tags: advice, approach, approach women, approaching, approaching women, attract women, attracting women, Date, dating, david wygant, how to approach women, how to attract women, tips
Posted in Attract and Approach Men, Attract and Approach Women, Dave's Faves, Day Game, Life Style 101 | 36 Comments »
Friday, November 6th, 2009
I’ve been ruined. Once again, I’ve been ruined. Every time I go to Europe and eat lots of small meals with fresh organic foods, I come back to America and the processed foods in my favorite restaurants make me feel lousy.
Last night, I went to one of my favorite sushi restaurants, and now I am going to be off of sushi forever. The next time I eat sushi and raw fish will be when I am reincarnated as flipper. The other night I ordered in Chinese food from a healthy Chinese restaurant, and let me tell you that the next time I’ll be eating Chinese food will be when I’m reincarnated as Wo Ming Ching the fisherman.
I miss all the wonderful meals I had in London and in France. Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to take another vacation soon.
Oh, and I want to personally thank everyone who left great comments yesterday about my big announcement on the blog. If you haven’t read about my big announcement, click here (because you missed something pretty huge).
This is something I talk about almost every single day. In order to meet the kind of people you most desire, you need to learn how to attract them (and not chase them).
I mean, how many times are you guys going to go out on a Friday or Saturday night and chase women before you realize that it doesn’t work. You are just what I call chasing the night. You need to realize that your actions — all of your actions — are picked up on by lots of different people.
When I was in Cannes recently, I was standing in line behind a man at a buffet. If you’ve ever seen me in a buffet line, I act like I’ve never eaten a meal before in my entire life. It was one at one of those beautiful hotels in Cannes with a great breakfast buffet, and I was really hungry and anxious to get my hands on the lox.
So I might have gotten a little too close to the man in line in front of me, and at some point we bumped into each other. It was really no big deal. I mean, how many times have you accidentally bumped into someone, right?
That man, however, gave me the dirtiest look in the world — one of those “f*^k you” looks. So I sat down at my table, and I saw him give me yet another dirty look.
How many of you do this? How many of you accidentally bump into someone because you get too close to them, and then give the other person a dirty look because they invaded your personal space?
Do you realize how many other people see you give that dirty look and see the whole interaction take place? They don’t look at the other person as the asshole. They look at you as the asshole.
They don’t wonder what’s wrong with you because you accidentally bumped into someone. They wonder what’s wrong with you that you have to be such as asshole.
When we’re talking about attracting people (and not chasing them), this is the type of thing that will not only not attract others — but will actually repel them. So be careful what you do.
The next time somebody is too close and they bump into you, just smile and say “No big deal.” You never know who is looking at you and checking you out. You never know who is getting turned off by your actions.
When you give the dirty look or something like that, you are turning off every person around you (not just that one person next to you). If you’ve learned anything from what we’ve talked about, it all comes down to creating attraction.
When you give the dirty look, you are actually creating instant detraction. That may or may not be a word, but it is the perfect term for when you doing the exact opposite of attracting people to you (including those people of the opposite sex you most want to attract). So everywhere you go, be sure to avoid the art of detraction.
Tags: advice, attract women, attracting women, Body Language, cannes, Date, dating, Dating Advice, dating tips, david wygant, how to attract women, personal space, tips
Posted in Attract and Approach Men, Attract and Approach Women | 6 Comments »
Friday, October 30th, 2009
Do you want to be that guy who walks into a room and women are instantly mesmerized by him? How does that happen? Well, it’s actually very easy!
The first thing to do when you walk into a room is to slow down. A lot of guys will walk into a room very quickly, hustling and making a beeline to the bar or the corner of a room. They somehow feel they need to get there really fast.
What I always tell guys to do is stop when they walk into a room. You frame whatever doorway there is, and if there’s not a doorway then you make a doorway around you.
You stop for two to three seconds, and you look around the room. You scan the room — look left, center, right, right, center, left — so you’re looking at the entire room. People naturally are always looking toward the entranceway of a party or bar to see who is walking in the room.
Not only do you do that, but when you walk in you also make sure you have really good posture. Make sure your shoulders are back and your chest is puffed out. Make sure you’re standing up straight and tall.
Body language is very important. So much of life is based on initial impressions.
So once you walk in a room and you command power (commanding power is standing upright and walking in), then you have to walk through that room slowly. You literally should strut through that room.
Walk through that room at a very slow pace, smile at a woman that you see – make that initial contact. Give her a look directly in her eyes, smile, and ask her “How are you doing tonight?” That’s it.
You can walk away right after you do that, because it is all about how you deliver that smile. If you deliver that smile very strongly — with conviction and with good body language — then she’s going to wonder who you are and will be very intrigued by you.
Next, go directly to your friends (or whoever else you are meeting) and have great body language when you talk to them. People noticed you when you walked into the room. You smiled at the woman and she smiled back at you, and you now have acknowledgment from all of the people who are around you.
When you go to talk to a friend, you make sure that you greet your friend in the same powerful way. Put your hand on his shoulder, shake his hand, look directly in his eyes, and have a very commanding presence.
So not only is body language important, but the speed of your walk is equally important. When you walk into a room slowly, you’re a commanding presence that people will notice. When you walk into a room quickly, you’re hustling into that room so fast that you’re basically just a blur.
You have to be a commanding presence. You may have the body language right, but you’ve got to get the walk right too.
Another important thing to remember is the right body language when you’re talking to a woman. When you are talking to a woman, you need to look directly at her. Your body needs to frame her body. This means that if you’re standing there in front of her, you have to face her directly so you’re mirroring each other.
It’s all in the way that you look at somebody. Once again, a strong, powerful man looks directly into someone’s eyes and shows them who the man is in that situation.
If you have any questions about body language, I suggest you go to YouTube and search for Bill Clinton videos. Bill Clinton has great body language when he speaks.
I know when I’m talking to a room of people, I’m talking to left, center, right. I’m looking directly into people’s eyes to make them feel like I’m connecting with them, which is what people are looking for every time.
Tags: attract women, attracting women, bill clinton, Date, dating, Dating Advice, dating advice for men, dating tips, dating tips for men, david wygant, eye contact, how to attract women, how to get women to notice you, how to meet women, meet women, meeting women, opening lines, PickUp, pickup artist, Pickup Lines, pua, sexual attraction, sexual chemistry, tips
Posted in Attract and Approach Women, Body Language, Night Game | 7 Comments »
Thursday, October 29th, 2009
Do you know what “the magic of a story” is? The magic of the story is remembering that while you might be telling a story for the hundredth time, the woman you’re talking to is hearing it for the very first time . . . and being able to tell it like you’re telling it for the first time.
Recently while I was with some clients, I told a woman a story I’ve told probably at least a thousand times (that’s why the story is so good!). The clients who were with me were shocked when they found this out, and said it seemed like I was telling the story for the first time.
I have such enthusiasm for my stories because I like them. I also know how people will react to them because I’ve told them before.
So how do you tell a great story; how do you tell a story like you’re telling it for the first time? Well, you have to start somewhere in order to learn how to do it.
Pick five or six things that come up over and over again in conversations, and then think of stories that relate to those things. It doesn’t matter what they are about, so long as you enjoy telling them and can do so with passion.
Practice your stories, so they are natural and easy for you to tell. I would suggest that you record all your stories, and then listen to yourself tell them.
As you listen, ask yourself whether you are interesting enough as you tell each story. If you are not, then go back and record them again. Keep listening to those stories over and over again, because those are the stories that are going to come out when you meet people.
Those amazing stories will be what attract women when you talk to them. They love to hear them.
A man who can tell a great story is very intriguing to women. It will show you as a man who is passionate about who he is. A woman will think that if you’re that passionate about yourself and your life, then you will be equally as passionate about her if you start hanging out together.
If you’re passionate about everything that you do – even down to little things like sniffing fruit passionately at the farmer’s market — then women are going to realize how passionate you are about all sorts of things. It’s about living with passion, and it all starts with your stories!
Tags: advice, attract women, attracting women, Date, Dating Advice, dating advice for men, dating tips, dating tips for men, david wygant, how to attract women, how to be a better communicator, how to meet women, how to talk to women, meet women, meeting women, PickUp, pickup artist, Pickup Lines, pua, tips, understanding women
Posted in Attract and Approach Women, How To Be A Better Communicator, Understanding Female Psychology & Mindset | 18 Comments »
Tuesday, October 13th, 2009
Can we please have the last ten seconds of the Jets game played over please? On a positive note, it looks like Brayon Edwards can catch again.
It’s funny when you see a great player playing on a bad team who just quits. Randy Moss did it when he played for the Raiders, and now look at how Braylon Edwards looks since he’s come to the Jets. I guess it just goes to show that athletes are human, and don’t want to be chosen by bad teams.
Remmber when you were a kid and you were playing a game which involved picking teams, and you got chosen by the bad team? Remember how you felt (and sometimes how you acted afterwards)? Men never grow up I guess.
Now on to today’s blog . . .
Let’s talk about how bad you want it. I get so many emails from people who say, “But David, you’re a natural at this! I am not a natural and I need routines.”
What I always tell people who write things like this to me, is that I wasn’t always a natural at this stuff. Do you think I was born doing this? I was nervous as hell in the beginning!
The reason I can coach all of you, is that I’ve experienced every emotion that you guys are going through right now. I know what it feels like to have my heart beat right through my shirt. I know what it feels like to have a quivering lip as I approach some girl sitting at a table. I know what it’s like to have all that monkey chatter in your head.
Some of these feelings are just the natural emotions of life, but this idea of being a “natural” is something we’ve talked about many times before. Many professional atheletes are “naturals,” but that doesn’t mean that you can’t do what they do. You just have to workk harder at it in order for it to become natural to you.
If you put the time into anything in life — whether it’s into meeting women, singing, cooking or whatever — over time your skill will develop and it will become natural for you. The reason I seem like a natural at what I do is only because I’ve been doing it for so long.
With practice, all of you will get to the point where you are naturals. The real question is: How bad do you want it?
Now, granted, some of you will find parts of this that you are far better at than others. For example, if you take me into a bar I am pretty unnatural. I’m so uncomfortable! I don’t enjoy being in a bar and I’m not having fun when I’m in one, so I am always totally in my head when I go to one. I’m just bored.
Take me to a store or out on the streets, however, and I have a million things to talk about with everyone. I can walk in any store, anywhere, and I can talk to people because there are always things I find interesting.
The way to become a natural at something is to go out and do things that you’re interested in, so that you’re able to keep up good conversations. This will also build up your confidence.
I’ve met guys who are naturals in bars. Do you know why? They are big drinkers. They can talk about booze nonstop.
I’m a natural in the market, because I eat at Whole Foods twice a day! I know the menu like the back of my hand. I’m able to work that place and talk to people there, because I always have topics to talk about there.
I had a client one time that was a wine connoisseur. So he expanded his social network by going to wine tasting parties and stopping in wine shops on Saturday afternoons. There he met other wine people, and he developed a social network with these people and he started having wine tasting parties.
I told him to collect the cards of the people he met in the stores and then we set up our own little wine tasting parties. Of course, the men and women he met brought friends to these parties. That’s how he was successful meeting women. That was his hobby.
The best way to meet people is by doing things that you love. You’ll rarely meet people doing something that you don’t love.
If you want to become a natural, you absolutely can. You just have to ask yourself, “How bad do I want it??”
Tags: attract women, attracting women, braylon edwards, Date, date advice, dating, david wygant, hot to talk to women, how to attract women, how to be a natural, how to be good with women, how to flirt, how to meet sexier women, how to meet sexy women, new york jets, oakland raiders, randy moss, sexy women
Posted in Attract and Approach Women, How To Be A Better Communicator, Mindset | 11 Comments »
Thursday, October 8th, 2009
In order to meet somebody great, you need to create a great lifestyle for yourself. You need to do things you love.
The first thing (and one of the most important things) you need to do, is to evaluate your work environment. You need to be in a healthy work environment, one you love and one that has people in it with whom you enjoy spending time.
Of course there are going to be times at work you don’t enjoy. There’s going to be things you have to do that you don’t like. There are going to be people you need to interact with whom you don’t particularly like. In the grand scheme of things, though, you have to decide which compromises you’re willing to make with yourself.
You may be in a job that doesn’t stimulate you like it used to, but it pays you well enough to allow you to maintain the lifestyle you really enjoy. So you make an agreement with yourself that you’re going to stick with this job because it allows you to do the things you like to do outside of work.
If that job is something you just don’t like anymore then you could move to another company, except you’re afraid to move. If you can make a lateral move where you don’t lose money or seniority, then I suggest you spend some time and energy to do that. It will really improve your life overall.
Lifestyle is something a lot of people don’t fully understand. Lifestyle means doing the things that you love. If you do the things you love to do, you will always have something to talk about with people.
If you’re somebody who does not enjoy going to a bar, then you’re really not going to have things to talk about there. You’re just going to be standing there punching the time clock. You’re basically going to be walking in, handing your time card to the bartender to punch, spending a few hours there, paying your bill and then punching out before you leave. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?
So, do things that you love. If you like exploring new neighborhoods, explore new neighborhoods. It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s only important that the “it” is something you love.
One of the reasons why creating a lifestyle like this is so important, is that creating a lifestyle makes you more open. You want to be open all the time.
Don’t go places and just “show up.” When you go to places, you want to show up and embrace everything.
You need to smile. You need to talk to people. You need to have random conversations with strangers all day long. That way, when you find someone to whom you are attracted you will have an open energy that will attract them (and get them to come over and approach you!).
The reason why a lot of women don’t get approached and a lot of men aren’t approachable, is because they’ve got a look on their face that says ‘don’t talk to me’ to people. People have that look on their face because they’re not really having fun.
They are not enjoying things. Everything you do, you should do with a child-like enthusiasm.
Go to the supermarket and act like you’ve never before been in there. Look through everything, have a good time and ask questions.
Ask questions of other people in the store. If you see someone getting a brand of yogurt you’ve never tried say, “I’m curious. I’ve never had that. Is it good?” Use those kind of approaches to talk to people everywhere.
Let’s say you’re in a brand new coffee shop and it’s your first time there. Don’t just order a cup of coffee. Ask the person standing in line next to you, “What do you recommend?” Even if you’re the only one in line, ask the guy behind the counter, “Hey, What’s good here?”
Get into a conversation, because people notice open energy. People notice people who are having fun. People notice people to whom other people are talking. It’s called attraction.
The law of attraction works. When you walk into a place and you start talking to a bunch of different people, other people will line up and want to talk to you.
I teach this at my Bootcamps all the time, and the guys see firsthand that it works every time. I remember one time at a Bootcamp we went into Neiman Marcus and started to talk to a woman.
All of a sudden, everyone was watching us and watching this interaction. Everyone was watching her smile. Everyone was watching us smile. When we went into another department, I had the guys do the exact same thing.
So when we came back through again for the second time, people literally started walking up to us and started conversations with us. One woman said, “Wow, you guys are so much fun!”
That is the kind of energy to which people are attracted. People are attracted to people having a good time. No one wants to hang out with a person who’s pouting, folding their arms and looking miserable.
So it’s about creating a lifestyle and being open. Do things that you love, and enjoy and embrace every moment.
By doing that, you will naturally start attracting people. You’ll be more open, so people will start talking to you. Being open will also get you to start talking to more people.
The key here is that when you are more open, people will notice you and will want to be around you. If they want to be around you, they’ll start talking to you.
So, why chase when you can attract?
Tags: attract men, attract women, attracting men, attracting women, bad work environments, Dating Advice, dating advice for men, dating advice for women, david wygant, hot to talk to the opposite sex, how to attract men, how to attract women, how to meet hotter women, how to meet men, how to meet women, how to start a conversation, how to talk to men, how to talk to women, law of attraction, lifestyle, meet hotter women, meeting men, meeting women, neiman marcus, seniority, work
Posted in Attract and Approach Men, Attract and Approach Women, Body Language, Dave's Faves, Day Game, How To Be A Better Communicator | 19 Comments »
Sunday, September 13th, 2009
It’s time to let the coolness factor die. Let’s say you live in Washington DC. Every Friday and Saturday night, you go to the same bars in Adams Morgan or Dupont Circle, and you hit on the same 24-year-old blond girls.
At 10:30 pm, you decide the place is lame and you go somewhere else. At midnight, the same guy every week says, “Dude, we have to go check out this other place. I heard it is great. My friend just texted me from there…”
It’s like Groundhog Day over and over again. You go home, and you’re always frustrated because you missed talking to the girl that got into the cab as you were walking over to talk to her.
In reality, what you’re doing is chasing the night. You’re miserable and not enjoying yourself, but you go back and do it again the next weekend.
While you’re doing this every weekend, other guys may be sitting around the house with some buddies having a great time barbecuing and drinking some wine. Others may have a great soul-searching weekend. Those guys come back on Monday feeling invigorated and alive.
There is a time when you really have to stop giving into your friend’s bullshit. You have to start saying that enough is enough.
When I was single, some of my best Friday nights included going out to dinner and being home by ten o’clock at night. I never cared about chasing the night. I’d be home at 10:00 pm so I could get up early the next morning and have an amazing Saturday meeting the kind of women I really wanted to meet and doing things I loved to do.
When you finally break up with your friends and stop buying into their bullshit, then you’ll know you really didn’t miss a thing when you get that day after call saying, “Dude, you should have been there!” So start breaking up with your friends and start becoming an independent, free thinker!
Tags: attract women, Date, Dating Advice, dating advice for men, dating tips, dating tips for men, david wygant, Day Game, how to attract women, how to meet women, how to pickup women, meet women, meeting women in bars, Night Game, PickUp, pua, Sex, sex tips
Posted in Attract and Approach Women, Life Style 101, Night Game | 8 Comments »
Saturday, September 12th, 2009
I used to be you. I used to be “that guy.”
I used to be the guy who would go out and get validated by sleeping with women. I used to be the guy who would go out with a bunch of guys every Friday night to cruise bars, try to meet hot women, and try to get as many women’s phone numbers as possible.
I used to be that guy trying to do all that stuff — going from bar to bar and place to place — looking for the best night I could possibly have. I used to be that guy who would actually go home with girls to whom I wasn’t even all that attracted. I mean, they might be okay or kind of a cool girl . . . but they weren’t who I wanted.
The women I really wanted always had left the bar two hours before, but my ego needed validation so I’d be with women I didn’t really want just to be “that guy” who could get women to all my friends. I had to prove to them that I was the guy who could pick up women.
My ego needed that validation. I used to be that guy. I remember being that guy in my 20s.
I recently had a great coaching session with a guy in his 20s, and we were talking about this very subject. As we were talking and reminiscing, I found myself being amazed thinking about how many women I would have actually connected with if I knew then what I know now.
I would have connected with women on much deeper levels and would have had much better connections with them. I would have met women I wanted to meet, instead of allowing my ego to dictate with which women I’d have sex or ask out on a date.
Back then it didn’t matter to me about the kind of connections I was having as long as my ego was getting validated. As long as I got validated by women, I was able to connect and hook up with women.
A lot of guys are like that. I used to be like that. I used to be that guy. That’s why I totally understand what all you guys are going through and what you really want.
You don’t need to have constant validation, because truly connecting with women is one of the most unbelievable and amazing things you can do. A lot of guys don’t understand that until they get older.
What is so great about coaching you guys and really getting inside your mindset is that I understand where you want to be. I’m so jealous and wish I could be in this mindset I’m teaching you when I was younger, although it’s so great to be able to help you and see all of you get there now.
I used to be you. Now I can help you become the most powerful version of you.
Tags: attract hot women, attract women, better sex, Dating Advice, dating advice for men, dating tips, dating tips for men, david wygant, ego, hot women, how to meet women, meeting women in bars, one night stand, PickUp, pua, Sex, validation
Posted in Attract and Approach Women, Mindset, Night Game, Understanding Male Psychology & Mindset | 12 Comments »
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
