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Posts Tagged ‘attract men’

 
 

Understanding The Scooby Doo Of Men

Saturday, October 17th, 2009

Men are extremely visual. Women need to realize that men are extremely visual.

Being visual does not refer to what men find attractive, but rather how they become attracted to women. It means that you need to use your sexuality and your femininity to attract men.

A man will look at a woman many times — five, six, seven, ten, twelve times — and will not stop looking until a woman acknowledges him. A woman who knows and understands this, can easily get a man to approach by acknowledging him. It’s really very simple.

Say you see a man to whom you are attracted. You need to look directly at him and smile. If he notices you, then go back and smile at him again.

When you do this, the man will become very curious and wonder why you’re smiling at him over and over again. You need to encourage him to come over to you.

Understand that men are basically Scooby Doos on steroids. You’re the Scooby Snack, and you need to lay the crumbs down for men.

The crumbs are your smiles. The crumbs are a casual hello. Once a man spots a woman to whom he is attracted, you are able to go and lead him with your femininity and your smile to come over to you.

In order to really learn and understand this at a deeper level, though, you need to be observant about all your surroundings. You have to be able to look around at all your surroundings and know that men are looking at you all the time.

Most women are not observant. Most women walk into a place with their head in the clouds — on their BlackBerry or thinking about what’s on their “to do” list — and never notice men noticing them.

So one of the best things to do to learn how to be more observant is to go out in the field with a friend for a day. Have your friend be your “wing girl” for the day, with her job all day long being just to observe you and to notice all the men who are checking you out.

By doing that, and by having her point all these men out to you, you will see all the opportunities you are missing to meet men every single day. Most women have opportunities to meet men that present themselves all day long, but unfortunately they are almost never looking!

Women have been taught not to look. Men, on the other hand, are looking at women nonstop.

Men never stop looking for women. Men are always looking for women, talking about women and obsessing about women. That is how men are visual. So in order for you to become better at this, you need to learn to be more aware of your surroundings.

When I talk about using your femininity and your sexuality, I am not talking about being “slutty” or overtly coming on to men all day long. I am talking about sexuality and femininity that exudes from within.

For example, women who have a lot of masculine energy need to dress more sexy. Many women end up having very masculine energy about them due their careers. You need to feel sexy as a woman. You need to put yourself out there more. You need to really explore your feminine side.

Take a look at your body type. Take a look at the type of woman you are. Start looking through magazines that have women with similar body types to you in them. See how those women dress sexy. Go to a store and get a makeover. Find a way to express your sexuality and to feel sexy from within yourself.

Men are attracted to all body types and to all types of women. The key thing here, though, is that men are attracted to sexy women of all body types.

So women really need to explore that side of themselves more. Women need to learn to use their feminine energy and start flirting. The Scooby Doos out there will respond when you do.

How Being Open & Having A Lifestyle Attracts People

Thursday, October 8th, 2009

In order to meet somebody great, you need to create a great lifestyle for yourself. You need to do things you love.

The first thing (and one of the most important things) you need to do, is to evaluate your work environment. You need to be in a healthy work environment, one you love and one that has people in it with whom you enjoy spending time.

Of course there are going to be times at work you don’t enjoy. There’s going to be things you have to do that you don’t like. There are going to be people you need to interact with whom you don’t particularly like. In the grand scheme of things, though, you have to decide which compromises you’re willing to make with yourself.

You may be in a job that doesn’t stimulate you like it used to, but it pays you well enough to allow you to maintain the lifestyle you really enjoy. So you make an agreement with yourself that you’re going to stick with this job because it allows you to do the things you like to do outside of work.

If that job is something you just don’t like anymore then you could move to another company, except you’re afraid to move. If you can make a lateral move where you don’t lose money or seniority, then I suggest you spend some time and energy to do that. It will really improve your life overall.

Lifestyle is something a lot of people don’t fully understand. Lifestyle means doing the things that you love. If you do the things you love to do, you will always have something to talk about with people.

If you’re somebody who does not enjoy going to a bar, then you’re really not going to have things to talk about there. You’re just going to be standing there punching the time clock. You’re basically going to be walking in, handing your time card to the bartender to punch, spending a few hours there, paying your bill and then punching out before you leave. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?

So, do things that you love. If you like exploring new neighborhoods, explore new neighborhoods. It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s only important that the “it” is something you love.

One of the reasons why creating a lifestyle like this is so important, is that creating a lifestyle makes you more open. You want to be open all the time.

Don’t go places and just “show up.” When you go to places, you want to show up and embrace everything.

You need to smile. You need to talk to people. You need to have random conversations with strangers all day long. That way, when you find someone to whom you are attracted you will have an open energy that will attract them (and get them to come over and approach you!).

The reason why a lot of women don’t get approached and a lot of men aren’t approachable, is because they’ve got a look on their face that says ‘don’t talk to me’ to people. People have that look on their face because they’re not really having fun.

They are not enjoying things. Everything you do, you should do with a child-like enthusiasm.

Go to the supermarket and act like you’ve never before been in there. Look through everything, have a good time and ask questions.

Ask questions of other people in the store. If you see someone getting a brand of yogurt you’ve never tried say, “I’m curious. I’ve never had that. Is it good?” Use those kind of approaches to talk to people everywhere.

Let’s say you’re in a brand new coffee shop and it’s your first time there. Don’t just order a cup of coffee. Ask the person standing in line next to you, “What do you recommend?” Even if you’re the only one in line, ask the guy behind the counter, “Hey, What’s good here?”

Get into a conversation, because people notice open energy. People notice people who are having fun. People notice people to whom other people are talking. It’s called attraction.

The law of attraction works. When you walk into a place and you start talking to a bunch of different people, other people will line up and want to talk to you.

I teach this at my Bootcamps all the time, and the guys see firsthand that it works every time. I remember one time at a Bootcamp we went into Neiman Marcus and started to talk to a woman.

All of a sudden, everyone was watching us and watching this interaction. Everyone was watching her smile. Everyone was watching us smile. When we went into another department, I had the guys do the exact same thing.

So when we came back through again for the second time, people literally started walking up to us and started conversations with us. One woman said, “Wow, you guys are so much fun!”

That is the kind of energy to which people are attracted. People are attracted to people having a good time. No one wants to hang out with a person who’s pouting, folding their arms and looking miserable.

So it’s about creating a lifestyle and being open. Do things that you love, and enjoy and embrace every moment.

By doing that, you will naturally start attracting people. You’ll be more open, so people will start talking to you. Being open will also get you to start talking to more people.

The key here is that when you are more open, people will notice you and will want to be around you. If they want to be around you, they’ll start talking to you.

So, why chase when you can attract?

Attention All Women Explore Yourself Sexually

Tuesday, December 9th, 2008

There is a conversation that comes up time and time again with my women clients that I think is really interesting. So many women tell me how they want to explore themselves sexually, but then tell me all the reasons why they don’t do it or why they feel they shouldn’t do it.
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Don’t Be So Negative!

Wednesday, November 26th, 2008

Having coached both men and women for more than a decade, I have had the opportunity to have both sexes confess to me their biggest complaints about the other. One of the biggest pet peeves I hear from the guys I coach is that women are too negative.

Are they saying that women are unfriendly people as a gender? Of course not. Guys complain most often to me that when they ask women questions when they first meet them – whether it be a woman they approach for the first time or a woman with whom they are out on a first date – that women tend to be very negative in how they answer them.

For example, a guy during a first date may ask a woman about her past relationships, and she will bash her ex-boyfriend by saying something like “Oh, my ex-boyfriend was such an idiot. He cheated on me, and he was a complete jerk.” Then she will go on to tell the guy about all the stuff that her ex-boyfriend did that were bad.

Even if all of that is true, women need to understand how this is perceived by the men who are hearing it. In particular, women need to understand how it is perceived by men who are just meeting you or are just newly getting to know you.

When you speak negatively about a past relationship, a guy hearing that will think that if he gets involved with you that at some point down the road you will be bashing him to someone else. Don’t be so negative about your past experiences.

Don’t also be negative about what is going on in your life currently. Don’t talk negatively about your friends. Men don’t care about the turmoil that is going on in your life and with your friends.

Men don’t care that your friend did not show up at your other friend’s birthday party and didn’t even a send a present. The only thing a guy will notice is that they are on a first date with you and you are speaking negatively about your friend.

Men want to see you be positive on a first date. We don’t want to hear about all of that other negative stuff when we haven’t gotten to know you yet.

I can’t tell you how many times when I’ve walked up to a woman and started talking to her by asking how her day is, that she will begin her answer with some version of “My day is lousy…” Then when I ask her why, she will elaborate with a list of one negative thing after another.

Don’t be so negative. When men first meet you, they want to see the positive and cheery side of you.

Men of course understand that life is not all positive and cheery. In the beginning, though, show men your good side.

We all have a negative side. We all have things about which to complain. We all have things that don’t go our way. That’s perfectly fine, just don’t bring all of that up on a first date.

Don’t bash your friends and don’t be negative about past relationships. Be positive on a first date, because you need to think positive things in order to attract a great new relationship.

I remember a woman with whom I had a first date who illustrates this point perfectly. I asked her on that date whether she dated a lot, and she answered “no.” When I asked her why, her answer was “Because men suck.” She then proceeded for the next ten minutes to tell me all the reasons why men ’suck.’

The thing was, I didn’t want to hear about why she believes men ’suck.’ It didn’t matter. I could have said “women suck too” to try and be nice and agree with her, but they don’t. I don’t judge women as a gender based on what certain women in my past may or may not have done.

When I’m on a first date, I am open to finding out who that particular woman is and what she is all about. You should have that same attitude when you meet a new guy.

The fact is that if you’re having a bad run in life, only you can change it. So if you’re negative and you complain when you meet someone new, then you are just perpetuating that bad run and it will simply continue. So stop being negative, and start giving your future a better chance to be positive.