A lot of you are probably in front of your computer or on your phone right now, texting, e-mailing, you’re at different stages of planning out what you’re going to be doing tonight. You’ve waited all week for Friday night. This is going to be the night that you’re going to go out and meet a cool new woman. If all goes right, everything is going to change by the weekend, you’ll have one or two or even three prospective new dates, and your lifestyle is going to be different. You’re finally going to approach the woman you’re most attracted to.

Then what happens? As the night progresses, all those fears and excuses start creeping in. You get paralyzed. You stand around the bar. You do nothing.

Some of you may not even be reading this blog until late night Friday night, and you’ll say to yourself, “David, you just described my night. I was all jazzed. I was all excited. You’re right, slowly but surely, all my fears and excuses crept in and the next thing I knew, I was home again. I was staring at the ceiling, reviewing the night, and I finally came up with something really great to say to the woman I was attracted to, but it’s too late now.”

Here’s what I want all of you who read this blog early today to do. For those of you who are reading it late, do this exercise tomorrow night.

I want you to go out. I don’t want you to talk to a single person tonight. Not one person. I want you to observe, and I want you to watch, and I want you to understand the dynamic of what makes one guy fearless and successful with women, and another guy who goes home and masturbates, dreaming of the woman he wishes he could be with. I want you to watch the guys that are successful with women.

It doesn’t matter what they say, because I’m about to launch a brand new program that’s going to give you everything you need to say in these situations. I want you to take a look at their body language. I want you to take a look at what real attraction is. I want you to look at these guys and I want you to basically see how much fun they’re having. How engaging they are, how they use their hand motions, how they smile, how they walk with confidence. I want you to notice everything about them.

Now what I want you to do is I want you to look at yourself. No, don’t look directly at yourself in the mirror, but look at a guy just like you. I want you to find the guy who’s in the corner with his hands in his pockets, a clueless or frustrated look on his face, the kind of guy you can feel is really thinking with all the monkey chatter going on in his head.

I want you to look at that guy, and I want you to ask yourself this question: if you were a woman, who would you rather talk to? The guy who’s going around talking to everybody and generally just having a great time, or the guy who’s paralyzed in the corner waiting for the woman to go to the bathroom so he can chase her down and find the right moment to talk to her? The guy with that nervous energy who kinda scares people a little?

How do you feel? What type of emotion do you feel when you look at the guys who are having fun versus the guys who are not having fun? This is a great exercise that I have every single client do, any guy who’s ever been successful with women going out and meeting them on a Friday or Saturday night. Every guy goes through this exercise, because you have got to learn how to enjoy yourself before you can start meeting people. If you approach with nervous energy, nothing will happen, but if you approach with a smile while having a good time, the words don’t make a difference.

Note To All Men: If you are already subscribed to my email list you are well aware that next week I’m releasing a new product that is going to empower you to get over the BIGGEST issue you guys have when it comes to meeting women… approach anxiety. I hear it time and time again, and it was confirmed by thousands of survey responses taken by my email subscribers that have been pouring in the past couple of weeks.

I put together a video to help you learn how to kill approach anxiety to become natural with women, simply by using the power of observation!“

I can tell you one thing.

Insomnia is brutal! Anyway here are my quick thoughts for today.

So you went out on a Saturday and you talked to 47 women, and you didn’t connect with any of them.

You did everything right.

You commented based on a real observation, you responded to what she said in the moment, you spoke what was on your mind, but yet,it just didn’t click.

You didn’t click with any of them.

You know why? It’s because you haven’t met anybody who appreciates you yet, so who gives a shit? Who cares?

You’ve got to appreciate you. No one’s going to appreciate you unless you appreciate yourself first.

Look at all the people you do business with, all the people you interact with professionally. Do they do business with you, do they think you’re cool as hell? It’s because they see you as you really are.

When we look at ourselves, we all see our neurotic sides.

Now you need to picture what “in your head” sounds like, because technically you’re not really walking around inside of your own head. If you were, you’d just be this gigantic round thing rolling around on the ground like a bowling ball at all times. If you were really in your head, you would just be a rolly poly head — nothing more, nothing less.

So the term “in your head” is really just your way of saying, “I want to go do this, but I’m worried about x, y and z.” If you think about it, though, the principles of meeting people are very simple.

You observe what they’re doing. You react to what they’re doing so you can really connect to their world (and so you don’t bring them into a whole new world when you’re experiencing something else). Then you speak with authority, playfulness and confidence. It’s really very, very simple.

What makes it so difficult is the fear that’s associated with it. You decide at that present moment whether to do it or not. If you don’t do it, what happens is you go into what people call “getting into my head” (which means that you’re finding an excuse not to do it at that moment).

Technically it’s the same principles over and over again — it really is. I’ve been teaching this a long time, and it’s the same principle over and over again. I taught myself those same principles over and over again until I got it right.

So when you’re in your head, what that really means is that you just don’t want to try at that moment. You’re too afraid to give it a whirl, because you’re too caught up with seeking approval.

You really and truly believe that if this doesn’t work out, things are going to be really bad for you that day (or whatever it might be based on stuff in the past). Past programming could be from the way your parents taught you, the way kids teased you in high school, whatever it was.

You need to remember that it’s all in the past. If I were living in the past and I saw a woman, I might throw my rattle at her and drool. It all depends on how far back in the past I really want to go. I might just give her some Wacky Packs like I did in the fifth grade, or I might offer her a couple pieces of Bazooka gum. It depends on how far in the past I want to go. If I want to go back to the high school days, I might ask her to borrow a pen even though she’s in the middle of Starbucks drinking coffee.

All kidding aside, going back into the past is another way for you not to try. It’s just an excuse. You think, “Well, this failed me 23½ years ago, so I’m not going to do it now. I don’t want to do it now because if it fails, then I’m going to be a total failure because I’m giving all my power away to this person I don’t even know.”

There is no such thing as failure in life. There really isn’t.

If a professional football player plays in a game and the team loses, did he fail? No, he tried his hardest and they didn’t win, but there will be another day.

An investment banker makes the wrong investment. Did he fail? No, he just made the wrong choice and it didn’t work out. A stock trader trades a stock and it goes the wrong direction. Is he a failure? No, it just didn’t go the way he thought it was going to go.

In life, if everybody quit as often in other areas of their life as they do about approaching women, they’d be broke and homeless and living on the side of the road. They would be holding up a sign saying, “I’m a quitter. i can’t afford to pay my bills. Can you please give me some money?”

So getting into your head is just your safety zone. It’s you basically saying to yourself, “I’m much more comfortable not trying than trying.”

Oh and one last thing.

Ravens 17 Steelers 16

Close great game but Ed Reed picks off Big Ben to end the game.

Packers 27 Falcons 20

Just a hunch that Aaron Rodgers is heading to the Super Bowl.

I was sitting across from my client and we needed a few napkins. So I turned around and standing right in front of the napkins was this really cute brunette that my client had been eyeballing.

So in this situation what can you do to speak with her? As you know, I don’t believe in routines and pick up lines.

1., they can smell a line a mile away, and 2., you need to learn how to connect with a woman so she is all excited that she met you.

So my client and I went over what I would do in this situation and he being the great listener and learner did exactly this.

He walked over and as he was walking over he gathered information in his head: she was right in front of the napkins so this was going to be real easy. He walked over with no hesitation and said excuse me are you the napkin guarder? He smiled as he said it she was quick with a response.

“Yes I am I am all about protecting the napkins,” she said with a smile. So now they went back and forth about the napkins and he looked around and saw that the forks were right next to the napkins so he asked her,”Are you also the protector of the forks and spoons”?

Now before I tell you what she said, I need to explain why he changed the subject. You need to move the conversation forward. You can not keep going around in circles and by doing this it shows that you are playful. He opened her with a tease and busted her about being the napkin police. Now you need to look around and find other talking points to move the conversation forward.

” I am all about the napkins, maybe next time we can talk about the forks,” she said. So she dropped her first hint about the next time. “Well see what happens,” he respond confidently. He smiled at her and walked away. Now why did he walk away? Well, he knew that he had her and she still needed to place her food order so she was not going anywhere and the power of walking away really turns them on. It shows that you are confident and it leaves them guessing and face it, we all like a bit of mystery in our lives. So he sat back down and ate some of his food and about 4 minutes later walked back up and busted her one last time. She was waiting for her food in the wrong area.

“Hey Napkin Girl…I know your job is to guard the napkins but you are standing in the wrong area!”
He smiled and she laughed and they kept chatting about food and stuff. She then got her food and he peeked into her bag to see what she had (he did this to find out if she had 2 meals in there, always need to find out if she is single without asking). Never ask a woman if she has a boyfriend. If she is on the fence she will always make up one so you don’t ask her out. When you ask a woman out assume that she is single.

So what do you do in this situation, up until this point you have totally intrigued her and had some fun with her.

This is what I call a foundation so you can ask her out and she is intrigued by you. Most men will try a routine on a woman and even if they get the number the woman will leave feeling all confused. Why would she be confused with a routine? Well, once she processes what happened she will start to have a weird feeling about the whole thing.

What I teach is to be natural, when you are natural a woman will feel all comfortable and she will be more intrigued by you and your boldness and confidence.

So how do you close her in this situation. Here are a 3 ways to do that.

1. You grab a few forks and tell her to grab a few more napkins. She will do as you tell her because up to this point it has been all about fun. Now look at her and say: “Perfect we now have all the napkins and forks for the next time when we grab some burritos. What’s your number?”

2. Or you can just say: “Nice meeting you tonight have a great dinner.” And as she is about to leave, you let her take the first few steps and then you say: “Hey Courtney, wait….give me your number – we need to grab some napkins together real soon.” This approach will bring her back to the original fun opener and the first close will make her anticipate the next meeting.

3. One last thing….wait about an hour and text her this: How was your nachos…did you have enough napkins:) Add your name so she knows who you are and you will make her smile again.

We will talk more about why the follow up text is so important another day.

‘Till then.

Oh and did he get her number.

Mystery and Intrigue is so much fun.

I leave that up toy our imagination but I will not be seeing my client on our usual Thursday night outing if that is enough of a clue.

Ok maybe not that drastic but today I have a challenge for you.

Are you ready to for an early Christmas present from yours truly?

Intrigued?

Then kick back watch and see what I am going to give you.

One last thing.

All you women who just watched the video.

Reverse the advice and make it work for you!!!

Did this year work out the way you wanted it to?

Or are you ready to quit, pack it in, and start all over with some ridiculous New Year’s Resolution?

Let me be upfront with you.

Nothing is going to change when the New Year hits. You’re going to be the same person and if you desire to make a change than that time is now!

I call this end of year momentum.

Are you curious yet?

Today’s podcast determines whether you are a winner or a quitter!

Get more beautiful women over Thanksgiving and Christmas with my new step-by-step guide called “Guy’s Guide To Hooking Up For The Holidays.” It’s my early Christmas gift to you so get it NOW!

Daphne and I hit the beach and I waited as she did her business.

I went back upstairs into my office and opened this email.

Below you will see a quote from Seth Godin who writes some of the best books on marketing.

This quote got me thinking.

How many of you are childlike when it comes to dating and meeting the opposite sex?

How many of you are childish when it comes to dating and meeting the opposite sex?

When you read the words below I want you to think about your life and how you act when it comes to dating.

Do you have a temper tantrum in your head when things dont work out?

Do you work on yourself everyday and have a childlike enthusiasm about meeting people?

Do you have a hissy fit when your approach does not go as planned?

Do you have a childish meltdown when the person does not call you back?

Read the words below and realize that when it comes to dating and meeting the opposite sex you must be more Childlike!

Childlike makes a great scientist.

Childish produces tantrums.

Childlike brings fresh eyes to marketing opportunities.

Childish rarely shows up as promised.

Childlike is fearless and powerful and willing to fail.

Childish is annoying.

Childlike inquires with a pure heart.

Childish is merely ignored.

You’re out in public and you hear a loud bang, or you hear someone yell “Hey!” and it startles you. You’re just always on edge, and you always feel like you’re on edge. You just feel like you can’t relax no matter what.

The reason why you can’t relax is because you’re in your head so much. You’re always thinking.

You’re always thinking about what you don’t have in life. You’re always thinking that other people are judging you or criticizing you. This makes you jumpy because you feel like the world is against you.

For some odd reason, you feel like it’s you against the rest of the world. That is so wrong because, in truth, the rest of the world doesn’t give a shit about you at all. The rest of the world is not thinking about you, obsessing about you or talking about you. Nobody is talking about you . . . ever.

Despite what you have conjured up in your mind, when you walk into a college classroom, all of the girls don’t start talking about you. They don’t start whispering to each other, “Look who’s here – jumpy boy.” When you walk into your office, everyone is not talking and whispering about you saying, “Look who’s here, insecure man.” When you walk into Starbucks, the barista behind doesn’t turn to the barista next to him and say, “Oh my God, there’s the guy girls always blow off.”

Do you know why people THINK any of these things are actually happening? It is because people are so self-absorbed and they only think about themselves.

Other people are not thinking about you or worrying about what is happening in your life. They are thinking about themselves just like you are thinking about yourself.

So if you are jumpy and cannot relax, you need to get a physical outlet. Go dancing, do a yoga class, go for a run or go workout. Do something to calm yourself down. Go for a long hike or walk. Get a cat or a dog.

Do something that will relax you. That way, when you go out you will always have a feeling of relaxation about you and your energy will be much better.

Stop being jumpy. The world is not after you, and the world is not against you. The world is actually there for you to conquer and to enjoy.

Do you see someone and right away all you do is create a story about them?

Do you put people in a fantasy zone?

Life is all about missing perceptions.

What you think is never what lurks inside.

Listen today on how to get out of the Perception Zone.

To Listen To Today’s Podcast Click Here!

Now, after listening to today’s podcast how do you feel? What emotions did I stir up? Put your thoughts in the comments section below. If you don’t feel comfortable leaving your name, just click the anonymous button below and your name will never be revealed.

Say you are there in a T-Mobile store with your buddy, and all of a sudden a beautiful woman walks in the store. Your buddy is in the middle of getting a brand new cell phone, and there you are staring at this woman with the “deer in the headlights” look in your eyes.

You don’t know what to do. You start idolizing her inside your mind and you put her on a pedestal. You think, “She’s hot. Wow is she hot!”

Those are the kind of thoughts you’re thinking to yourself. You think, “Wow is she amazing. I don’t deserve a girl like that.”

Really? Why don’t you deserve a girl like that? Why are you putting her above you?

There is no reason to ever put a woman above you. We’re all equals.

So I don’t care who you are, what you do or what you’re all about. We’re all equal. Everything about us is equal.

Every time you put someone on a pedestal, you are really never going to have an opportunity to get to know them. The reason is that when you do this, you are approaching from a position of weakness.

You are basically looking at her, and your body language and non-verbal communication are all screaming that you don’t deserve her. You might as well say out loud to her, “Hi, my name is Justin. I really don’t deserve you, so I’m just not going to bother talking to you.”

The truth is that people are people, and everyone wants to be treated well. Everyone wants others to talk to them and communicate with them. Nobody wants to be put on a pedestal.

No relationship ever works if you’re put on a pedestal. No relationship works if you’re putting the other person on a pedestal.

You have to really realize that we are all equal. So the next time you see a beautiful woman standing there in the T-Mobile store, realize that not only is she your equal (but that you might actually be the superior one in a lot of ways.

You may actually be the person who knows more than she does. She might actually learn more things from you than you could learn from her. Who knows what the dynamic of the relationship might be?

Everything is equal. Keep it that way.