One week to go until Black Friday, and I am just chomping at the bit to find out what super deals will be out there . . . and how I have to get up at 3:00 a.m. to fight for the one plasma television in the store they put on sale for $529.00. It’s funny how much of a shopping culture we have become, which is evident from the one million websites and television commercials counting down to Black Friday.
Oh well. I am actually really counting the days until Cosmic Saturday. Do you know what that is? Well you’ll have to wait until tomorrow and catch the commercials on my site to find out.
No on to today’s Friday blog . . .
It’s interesting. A lot of people who smoke think it’s a great way to meet people. To them it’s always the easiest way to meet people. Ask any smoker, and they’ll tell you so.
They will tell you that the greatest thing about smoking is that you can always walk up to someone of the opposite sex and ask to bum a cigarette. All you have to do is walk up to someone and say, “Excuse me. Do you have a cigarette?” or “Excuse me. Do you have a light?”
Let me tell you how you are perceived when you use the “Excuse me, do you have a cigarette?” line. You are bumming a cigarette, which means you are a bum. It means that you cannot afford your own cigarette (and hence you have to bum one), or that you are one of those people who are perpetually quitting and thus never buys your own cigarettes.
Either way, it really doesn’t look good. Picture this. There is a woman you want to meet standing across the room. So you decide to walk over and bum a cigarette off her as a means of initiating conversation with her. When you ask her if you can bum a cigarette, you are basically telling her “Listen, I was too cheap to buy my own cigarettes tonight, so I decided I was going to bum, steal and borrow cigarettes from other people.”
Being a non-smoker, and having recently spent some time in Europe, I have to say it’s nice to travel and not have to smell smoke wherever you go. Granted, there are smokers all over the place — outside and puffing away outside the doors of restaurants and so forth.
Here’s something, though, that I always wonder about with smokers. Why do smokers feel like it’s a right to throw their cigarette butts on the ground? You’re basically polluting the Earth.
No, this isn’t one of those blogs where I’m going to talk about saving the planet and the oceans, but why do smokers seem to feel entitled to litter their cigarette butts everywhere. If you look around your average city, there are cigarette butts all over the place.
Now I know that some of you think it’s wonderful that you can go out there and meet people by asking for a cigarette or a light, but this isn’t a pick up blog about smoking. If it was, the only thing I’d be telling you pickup is cigarette butts.
I’d tell you to get down on your hands and knees and pick up was all the cigarette butts you see on the ground. It’s really disgusting to walk down the street and see all the cigarette butts.
I also love all the gum chewers out there who think the world is one giant ashtray to discard their chewed up wads of gum. When you look down at the ground, it seems like all you see are cigarette butts and old gum. We’ve become inhumane, dirty and disgusting.
Don’t worry. I am still going to tie this into dating, because I know some of you hate when I rant and rave . . . or when I vary even the slightest bit from the topics of pickup and how to meet people.
So the next time you see a smoker throw a cigarette butt down on the ground, I’ve got a great pickup line for you. Say, “Excuse me. Do you realize that thing doesn’t decompose? What gives you the right to throw that butt down on the ground?”
You want to start a relationship off on the right foot. So you might as well start it off arguing.
For those of you who have never seen a Cirque du Soleil show, it’s a must on anyone’s list. We saw Kooza the other night, and it was outstanding.
There’s one part of the show called “The Wheel Of Death,” in which two guys get into these two rotating gerbil wheel contraption and they run and jump around these wheels like it’s a carnival ride. They did all this with no fear.
It’s interesting that people can do things like this — death defying acts — with no fear. To some of you, saying hi to a member of the opposite sex is a death defying act.
Google Cirque du Soleil or do a search for it on YouTube, and watch some of the things they do and some of the ways they contort their bodies. Then I want you to think about all your fears about communicating with the opposite sex because, really, would you rather say hello to someone you’re attracted to or get caught in The Wheel Of Death?
For those of you who need some motivation today, here is The Wheel Of Death:
What I really want to talk about today, though, is all of the mumblers out there. Recently someone sent me a voicemail message. I had to listen to it four times just to figure out on what phone number to call them back, because the person who left the message was mumbling so badly.
If you’re going to leave a voicemail message, be concise, leave your number twice and speak clearly. Keep the message short. Don’t tell people how you won’t be available from 12:00 to 1:00 because you are going grocery shopping, or how you are taking a shower at 3:00 that afternoon.
For business, keep it short but friendly. Say something like, “Hi, it’s David, calling to talk to you about the work we discussed on Wednesday. Have a great day, and I’m looking forward to speaking with you soon.”
For personal, you can leave a message that is something like this: “Hi, it’s Joe. It was so great speaking with you the other day about Italian roast coffee. You know, I Googled that coffee that you liked, and I learned something really interesting about it. Call me and I’ll you something about it.”
It’s always good to bring someone back to the moment when you met them. Also, by doing this you show them you were listening and interested in what they were saying, which will intrigue them even more.
I tell guys all the time that when they meet a woman, they should learn at least three things about her and remember them. That way when you contact her later, you can bring her back to the moment you met.
This technique is important in business too. Let’s say you have been shopping for a new car. When you go to contact a salesperson with whom you spoke at the dealership, you can say “It was great talking to you about the new Audi A4 the other day.” It makes your communication instantly go more smoothly.
So many of you are voicemail mumblers. It’s time to stop being a voicemail mumbler, and to stop putting a strain on people’s eardrums!
For those of you who missed getting my football picks this week, I needed to take a break to attend to my fantasy teams. I am, however, going to give you my pick for tonight’s game.
For tonight, I like the Ravens over the Browns. Boy, that’s a tough one to pick. The Browns are about the worst team in football, and I think a team of teenage girls could probably beat them.
Today, I want you not to read, but to watch and listen. If you’ve ever wanted to know how to appear confident every time you approach a woman, this video is a “must see” for you! This video is not only a great example of something I teach, but I also tell you how I used this technique in my own life. Enjoy and have a great Saturday!
Before you listen to today’s podcast, I am about to share with all the men something to which you need to really pay attention.
Yesterday on the flight home from New York City, I was sitting next to a guy who was wearing a pair of True Religion jeans. Every time he bent over or reached down for something, the whole plane had the privilege of seeing half of his hairy ass. I am not just talking “plumber butt crack,” this was plumber butt crack on steroids.
This is not something anyone needs to see . . . ever. Every time he moved, every person on that plane — women, men and children — were forced to see his ass.
SO, guys, if you can feel the wind chafing your ass when you are wearing jeans, then it means they are way too low and you need to cover up!
Now, on to another revealing topic . . .
This might be the most powerful podcast you will ever hear. I was recently on the phone with a guy who was thinking about taking a Bootcamp, and he asked me why he has trouble approaching women. He had already attended someone else’s bootcamp at which they had instructed him to approach women using some kind of pickup line.
I told him that pickup lines will never work. Life is all about observations based on instincts. He asked me about what kind of instincts I was talking, and I told him I was talking about the kind of instincts we have as a child.
Remember when you were a kid (maybe three, four or five years old) and you’d see something you like so you’d look at it and touch it? Remember also how when you did that your mother would scold you and say, “Don’t do that?”
Do you realize that the social conditioning we got from about the age of four to about the age of eleven was all about the things we should not do (and all about the things we can’t do)? Don’t look at strangers. Don’t talk to strangers. Don’t smile at that person.
Our social conditioning is the reason why so many of us out there now suffer from problems meeting the opposite sex. Our social conditioning taught us not to talk to people instead of relying on our natural instincts.
This podcast will truly blow you away. It is by far the most important podcast I’ve ever done. Enough writing now. It’s time to open your ears and start listening!
Also, if you want to learn how to recapture your natural instincts and de-program yourself from all of you bad social conditioning, then you need to check out my Men’s “What’s Your Excuse?” and my Women’s “No Excuses” programs.
Man, I just don’t know when I’m going to get rid of this jet lag. I have been home now since Friday night, and I am still jet lagged! It’s just ridiculous.
I was gone a long time and it was a great trip. So it was worth every bit of that jet lag.
Today’s podcast is really interesting. It is about the importance of going out and doing things outside your comfort zone to meet women. It’s about the importance of enjoying all sorts of different activities and events.
We have the holiday season coming up soon, and you guys are going to be looking for places to meet women. The truth is, though, that there are many different places you can go to meet women. You can take a pottery class, take a dance class, take a cooking class.
In today’s podcast, I actually give you a list of great places to go and great things to do to meet women. I also tell you why those places and activities are so great. Plus, it never hurts to become more well-rounded and learn some new things.
So check out today’s podcast and hear all about all the great places you’re not going to meet women. Click here to listen now:
Also, if you want to learn more about how to approach and start great conversations with the women you’ll meet going to these places I’m recommending to you, be sure to check out my “20 Ways To Meet Hotter Women Without Pickup Lines” product.
Halloween. Wow, We are really rolling through 2009. Pretty soon we’ll be up to another one of my most overrated holidays — Thanksgiving.
I do know what I’m going to be for Halloween, though, this year. I am going to be jet lag.
It’s going to be about 10:45 am when I finish writing this blog, and after getting up at 4:30 am, I have already caught up on seventeen days of emails, walked the dog three times, went to Whole Foods, got the car washed, and saw the sunrise for the first time . . . sober.
Even after accomplishing all of that by mid-morning, I still can’t figure out why people always say it’s great to get up early because you get so much done in the morning. It’s true that you get a lot done in the morning, but then you’re tired by lunch and you have the whole rest of the day still ahead of you.
I get so much done all day long, and I’m not tired. So once my body clock goes back to normal, I think I’ll continue to be a late riser.
The great thing about being away for a while at this time of the year, is that I am going to get to go through my second “fall back.” I already “fell back” once in France, and now I’m going to get to do it again here in L.A. it’s like time travel.
Speaking of time travel, I saw an absolutely terrible movie on the airplane called “The Time Traveler’s Wife.” I still don’t understand how you can go back in time and see yourself.
That would, however, be a great idea for a Halloween costume. You can tell people you are a time traveler and you’ll see them in ten minutes. What a great approach for the night. You are talking to a woman and you say, “I’d love to talk to you now, but I’m time traveling. I’ll see you in three hours . . . in my bed. How do I know that? I’m a time traveler!”
Have a great Halloween, and enjoy this classic Halloween blog. . .
It’s time for the Monster Mash. It’s a graveyard smash . . . It caught on in a flash . . . ‘Cause it’s the Monster Mash . . .
So how exactly are you going to mash this Halloween season?
Remember the good old days walking door to door with a plastic pumpkin, knocking on strangers’ doors, and hoping you didn’t get an apple with a razorblade in it? By the way, what kind of person hands out apples at Halloween anyway? We’re out for candy! In fact, lots of candy . . . and not a stinkin’ apple! That’s the shit your mother gives you at home.
As we rang each door bell, we’d utter these magic words: “Trick or treat for UNICEF!” For those of you who don’t know what UNICEF is, it was a private collection. That is, we would collect it . . . and UNICEF would never ever get it.
Wouldn’t it be fun if you could go to an apartment complex where hot chicks and singles reside wearing your Scooby Doo costume with the plastic mask and that shiny material that your mother had to tie in the back. You remember those, the kind where if your mother bought the wrong size, it only came down to your ankles?
The great thing about that shiny material though was that it repelled all the eggs and the shaving cream pelted at you by the older kids. Not to mention, it was always freezing outside and you never wanted to wear a jacket because it would ruin your great costume.
What a great costume that was that your Mom bought for $5.00 at Wal*Mart. Thanks a lot Mom!
Not to mention, sometimes your head was too big for the plastic mask so either a lot of chin or a lot of forehead would always be visible. On top of everything else, that cheap elastic string on the back of the mask would continuously break, so the mask got tighter and tighter every time you fixed it.
So now you’re an adult. You are no longer trick or treating in cheap costumes that don’t fit. You now dress up in adult-themed costumes.
Women will dress up in skimpy little bunny costumes. Men will dress up as women . . . not a pretty sight by the way, and definitely not a costume I would consider.
Instead of getting a stomach ache from eating a pumpkin full of candy, as adults we get a stomach ache from drinking a pumpkin full of booze. The candy is no longer chocolate with caramel filling . . . it has become the opposite sex.
The problem is that people tend to act really stupid on Halloween. They start talking like the character they are portraying.
I met this female pirate one time at a Halloween party. When I asked if she would like a drink, she answered “Aye matey!” Then I asked if she would be interested in some casual sex that night, and she answered “Aye matey!!” In fact, she said “Aye matey!” all night until she passed out from drinking too much pumpkin juice.
A Halloween party for adults is hilarious. Women will have sex on Halloween and then rationalize it: “It wasn’t me . . . Wonder Woman slept with him.” Men will approach women with the worst pick-up lines ever.
Everyone here in L.A. wants to go the Halloween party at the Playboy mansion which, by the way, I’ have attended. It happens to be a lot of fun. Lots of “Aye Matey’s” there . . . and lots of people on drugs.
There’s nothin’ like Halloween in L.A.! I think here in L.A., that everybody’s magic pumpkin is filled with magical Ecstasy.
Once again, remember that Halloween is just one night. Either you can rap or you can’t.
Just wearing a costume is not going to turn a man into a smooth-talking stud. A woman’s sexy skimpy costume is also not going to make her the social butterfly she craves to be. Halloween is also the night you will hear the most stupid pick-up lines of any night of the year . . . with the possible exception of 5-4-3-2-1 night.
So what is my idea for a good Halloween? Go to Target. Buy one of those little kid costumes and an orange plastic pumpkin. I’m sure one of that little kid costumes will go down as far as your knees . . . if you’re lucky. This is very funny.
Then go door to door wearing your costume and carrying the plastic pumpkin, and say this to the hot single mom or dad who answers the door: “Trick or treat for a social life! Please put your phone number in the pumpkin, and I’ll call you tomorrow when I become a person again instead of a giant Hello Kitty.”
I think I’m going to go to this area of my town that has a ton of single women and ring some bells. Bells will be ringin’ … Oops! Wrong holiday.
So now you know what I will be doing on Halloween. What will you be doing?
I will leave you with one of my favorite kid jokes: Why can’t witches get pregnant? Because ghosts have Halloweenies …
A client of mine recently asked me a great question. He asked me, “How do you stay in your own reality? How can you keep your own frame of reference and not get sucked into the reality of the person we want to meet?”
After asking my client to elaborate more on what he meant, I understood that what he was asking was how to keep control of situations instead of letting situations control you. He wanted to know how to not let intimidation get in your way when you want to meet someone.
I told my client that it all starts with the way you approach. You have all heard me talk over and over again about the power of observation. So the first and most important thing to do is always to observe what a woman is doing so that you can frame the conversation based on your own enthusiasm.
Let’s say that you go to a book store and you see an absolutely stunning, beautiful woman browsing in the travel section of the store. Let’s also say that you are very interested in travel and have traveled extensively, so approaching that woman should be quite easy and comfortable.
If you don’t stay in your own reality, though, you can risk not controlling the situation and letting the situation control you. Because the woman is so beautiful, you may want to open her as quickly as possible. You may not take the extra five or six seconds to realize she is standing in the travel section.
A lot of men in this situation panic, and all they focus on is the thought “I’ve got to approach, I’ve got to approach, I’ve got to approach…” While I would agree that you should approach, you should not do so until you are armed with the necessary information to do so. Taking those extra five or ten seconds to really observe what is around you is arming yourself with that necessary information.
Men will often be totally focused on what they can think of to say and will often miss something easy, comfortable and obvious they could say based on what is going on around them. So you need to take those extra five or ten seconds and observe before you approach. It will be well worth it when you see how much more successful (not to mention easy and comfortable) your approaches will be.
Think about what is in her mind at that moment. Is the woman in our hypothetical looking at a particular book? In what section of the book store is she browsing? If she is in the travel section, maybe she is looking for a book about the place to which she is about to travel (or a place to which she would like to travel).
What you’re doing is playing the odds. You are playing the odds based on what she’s already thinking, though, which means that you’ll be in control of the conversation.
This is precisely what most guys do not do when they approach. Most guys go in too quickly.
The reason why these “too quick” approaches don’t usually end up so well, is that you are not starting a conversation based on what the woman is already thinking. You are not getting inside her head.
Don’t go into the approach too quickly simply because you want to get it over with. Don’t rush the approach.
The more you train your mind to be observant by taking those extra ten seconds, the quicker your mind will begin to do that on its own. Don’t worry about getting faster, though, and just work on the observation skill and on not rushing your approaches.
As with everything else I teach you, whatever happens in any approach you should never beat yourself up. Remember that you learn from each experience, and there will always be another opportunity. Working on this observation skill, however, will help to make more and more of your approaches successful.
Most guys have this mentality: they go out on a Friday night to a bar, they give it five minutes and decide that the bar’s no good. They say to each other, “let’s go to the next one, man,” and they end up CTN – chasing the night.
“Let’s go to the next one,” “let’s go to the next one,” they keep going and at the end of the night, they end up at home – by themselves. They’re alone, staring at the ceiling again and wondering if they missed out on meeting people at the bars they didn’t hit. (more…)
