We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

Pretty wise words right?

Well, I didn’t say them, Aristotle did––and he’s got a point.

If you want to get good at something, you have to do it often. You have to do it so often that it becomes a part of you. Then you no longer have to try.

Creating attraction with hot women is approached the same way:

Create attraction with all women, all the time.

Find about more about that in the video below:

. . .

Have you made talking to all women a habit yet?

Are you ready to become excellent?

Are you sure?

Hey Shogo,

I’ve been practicing what I’ve learned from you—using conversation skills, observations, etc—and I’ve become good at starting casual conversations in a very non-threatening manner.  But from the reactions I get with women, I sense that I am giving off more a friendly vibe as opposed to a sexual vibe. I’m not trying to make a girl wet on the spot, I just don’t want to give the impression that I’m looking for a friend.  I frequently gave a big friendly smile when striking up these conversations and I get a good reception, but I feel like a big puppy dog and I can feel the lack of sexual tension.  So how can I use my smile, body language, tone, mindset, etc. to demonstrate my (not-so-friendly) intentions when approaching women? Thanks Shogo!

Jason, Grand Rapids, MI

Hey Jason,

I can tell from your first sentence what your issue is.  You’re too concerned about approaching women in a very nonthreatening manner.  That’s really what so-called “approach anxiety” is all about when it comes down to it.  It’s not wanting to come across as a threat, not wanting to disturb the person you’re talking to, and not wanting to be seen as a jerk or a pervert.

The irony is that almost every single guy who is worried about being too threatening or coming across as a jerk is almost never threatening or a jerk.  What happens is that you suppress yourself so much in your conversations with women that all you’re really doing is suppressing your sexual edge.

Hiiiiii! It's Me!

Now that doesn’t mean that you have to read a seduction book and infuse sexual words in your conversations or try to make a woman think sexual thoughts by touching her or sending subliminal messaging or whatever.  That is creepy.  And perverted.

The woman you’re talking to is either going to think sexual thoughts about you or she is not.  You can’t change chemistry and you can’t change the way a woman imagines you.  But you can change the way that you think and the way that you feel about yourself, so that when you come across the right woman down the road who senses your energy, sparks will fly and she will get turned on by you.

What you want to do is start conversations in a very casual manner, not in a nonthreatening manner.  Forget about trying to be nonthreatening.  Jason, I’ve talked to you on the phone, you already are a nonthreatening guy.  You have a great vibe and a friendly demeanor.  The problem is that you are most likely afraid of confrontation, and that’s where your edge comes from.

Now this is a big topic, but I’ll touch on it briefly.

You need to develop that sexual edge.  Stand your ground.  Don’t be afraid of coming across a little offensive.  Don’t be afraid of being abrasive.  Don’t be afraid of expressing what you are really thinking during the conversation.  She’s a big girl, she can handle it.  The more you start letting your sexual thoughts out, the more you will start owning your own sexuality and you won’t be letting your penis control every decision you make.

The big puppy dog smile is ok, as long as you’re being real.  But the puppy dog smile is not ok when you’re doing it to mask what’s playing out behind the scenes.

What is happening is that you’re too wrapped up in coming across as nonthreatening that you’ve completely forgotten about saying what is really on your mind.  We’re all a little dirty, we’re all a little perverted in our own minds.  Men and women both.  Be comfortable with it.  Let those thoughts dance around in your head for a little bit, then let them out.  That way, when the time is right you’re going to turn that Golden Retriever puppy smile into the sly Doberman that’s never had a trip to the vet smile.

It’s all in your mindset–body language, smile, tone, all that will follow–but you have to change your mindset first and foremost or you will come across as very contrived and pick-uppy.

We were walking around London last night and I was telling the guys that the best way to meet women at night is to think about what is waiting outside the bar.

Most guys can not wait to get into a bar or club. I prefer to be on the outside where there is no competition.

The best place to meet women is on line. No, not online on match.com or on Yahoo! Personals . . . but rather while you’re waiting on a line.

We spend so much of our lives waiting on a line. We’re waiting for coffee. We’re waiting at the bank. We’re waiting at the grocery store. We’re always waiting on a line . . . sometimes for one minute and sometimes for two hours.

Do you talk to people while you’re waiting on a line? If the answer is no, then read on because what I’m about to tell you is one of the best time management tools you will ever learn.

As a matter of fact, Microsoft Outlook was thinking of adding this tool to their software for Blackberries. Alright maybe not . . . but you get my point. I looked at the line waiting to get in, and I asked my students:

DW: “What do you notice about what people are doing in that line . . .
besides looking pissed off that they have to wait?”

S1: “No one is talking to each other.”

DW: “Exactly! No one is talking to each other while waiting on line to get
into a bar or nightclub . . . waiting to get into a loud, crowded, place
so they can potentially scream in each other’s ears.”

The best conversations you’re going to have are when you’re waiting on line to get into the bar. They will be far better than any you’ll have while you’re inside the bar.

Bar Lines

To prove my point, we got on line there and we proceeded to have a conversation with the group in front of us and the group behind us. When it was time to enter the club, the doorman asked me how many we were, and I said that we were seven but that we wanted to wait on line for awhile before going inside.

As each group behind us got to where we were at the front of of the line, we met a whole new group of people. By the time we left that line about twenty minutes later, we’d met and spoken with about forty people! In light of this, let me ask you a few questions:

• How many of you speak to forty people when you’re IN a nightclub?
• How many of you get phone numbers when you’re IN the nightclub?
• How many of you get people to text you as soon as they leave a nightclub to see where you’re hanging out and what line is cool right now?

These are just some of the things that happened to my students and I when we were waiting on line at a trendy London nightclub.

Since you’re able to speak about the obvious while you’re waiting on line, how silly is it to wait to get inside a loud club before you start talking to people? Whatever your approach is, when you speak to someone while your on line you can always state it with humor. You can always say something like:

“Aren’t we getting too old to hang out on line to get into a crowded nightclub?
This is the best conversation we’re going to have all night. If we met in there,
I’d have to scream in your ear.”

It doesn’t matter what you say. It’s stating the obvious.

I also told my students that if you like someone you meet on line, just close them with this:

Man: “Let’s exchange numbers. If the loud music gets on your nerves,
text me and I’ll let you know where we’re at.”

What you’re doing here is playing the odds. Most women when they go to a nightclub think they’re going to have fun. After about an hour in the nightclub, however, most of them tend to get annoyed. So after about an hour and a half, what you do is text her.

You: “Are you ready to continue our conversation? I enjoyed
speaking with you on line about [fill in the topic you were
discussing].”

That’s it! Short . To the point. All my students did this, and it worked.

It’s called being different. It’s called seizing the moment.

In addition, when you send this text at this time, you’re most likely going to be texting her when she’s at her breaking point. She’ll remember what a great conversation she had with you while hanging out on line. She’ll already have fended off a slew of drunken horny men who had no rap. So what you’re doing is rescuing her from another 90 minutes of thump-thump music and drunken horny men.

It’s all about being different and taking chances. So the next time when someone asks you if you’ve tried online dating, you’re answer is going to be: “Not on the Internet . . . but on line at a club.”

This weekend, go hang out outside a bar . . . and don’t go inside. You’ll have far less competition and have far better conversations than you would have if you went in the place. Oh and by the way, you don’t need a cheesy picture for this form of “on line” dating.

This “on line” dating also goes for all the “on lines” in you life. This is not just for bars . . . this goes for any line on which you find yourself waiting. Welcome to David Wygant’s world of “on line” dating! Welcome to the www of your life.

Yesterday we all went to Spitalfields Market, and everyone met so many cool women. For those of you who are in London, Spitalfields is a must. I ate so much great food again, I really stuffed myself. Then we sat to digest for a bit as I lead a really “heavy” discussion on dating!! Bo-bump-bump…pshhh!
You know that sound, that “bo-bump-bump” drum sound you hear at a bad comedy show? You know what “bo-bump-bump” is? That’s not just reserved for late-night talk shows, it’s also you when you become Punch-Line Guy.

Are you the guy that read somewhere on the Internet that women are really attracted to the funny guy? So now, in every conversation you have, you always want to make sure that you can show you’re funny, that you get the punch line out as quickly as possible? Basically you are punch line guy. You’re that guy who, within a minute of a conversation, whatever the topic, you have to end the conversation with this funny joke (well, at least that you think it’s funny).

Here’s the deal guys: That really takes both you and her out of a moment that could have been special. Punch-line guys tend to kill conversations because there’s not much to go on after you spew your cheesy punch-line. Especially if the punch line wasn’t that funny, maybe she’ll chuckle a little bit and then she’ll just realize the conversation is ending.
What most punch-line guys do is they just end the conversation with that mediocre punch line, they don’t keep it rolling. They take a perfectly good conversation and they feel like they have to spit the joke out somewhere to show her that they’re funny.

The reality is that you have plenty of chances to show her that you’re funny—at the right moments. But your problem is that you can’t risk waiting to be naturally funny, waiting to be funny at all the right moments. You have to do it now, you have to try to create the punch line moment because this is the ONLY moment to show her you’re worth getting to know.
I know what this is like because I used to be punch line guy. I was the class clown, I used to sit back and wait for my punch line in class. When I was first learning to talk to women, I’d always anticipate and wait for the punch line. I’d throw it out there and expect a big laugh but I never realized, when I was younger, that actually killed a lot of good conversations because I was killing the momentum.

All the punch line does is show that you’re not really listening and adding the conversation, it just shows that you want to be the center of attention, because that’s what punch line guy really is. He wants to be validated, he wants people to think he’s funny, and he wants to be the center of attention. So the next time you have your punch line guy moment, think to yourself, Is this really a proper moment for the punch line? Think about that. Will it keep the conversation flowing, or will it end the conversation like it has in the past?

My client was telling me, he goes, “I really want to meet new women.” He just wants to get to know them, maybe ask them out on a date. So far so good, right? I said, “Great. To get to know a new person, make an observation to her based on what you notice, listen to what she says…”

You know, all the things that I teach all the time.

Here’s where his negative excuse thinking comes in: He can’t, he says. He thinks that something bad will happen if he tries. He goes back into the past and–remember when we were talking about the past? If you’re going to live in the past, you’re always going to get what? That’s right, the past.

He said, “See, this one time I was at the mall with my friend—”

I had to stop him. One time! That’s the key word here: One time. He’s allowing this one experience to basically dictate what happens in his future. He’s allowing it to prevent him from all the things he could possibly be doing in the future. How many times have I told you guys, to be successful in life, you need to do things over and over and over again. You need to get rejected. You need to get blown off. Can you image if the world operated on some “one time principle”? You know what that principle is called? It’s called failure. Because if everybody in the world, if everybody operated on this one time principal, not one person would be successful. Nobody would make a dollar. No progress would be made in the world.

So my client, he’s at the mall with his friend, and his friend tried saying hello to a girl: “She yelled at my friend really loudly to get the hell away from her! How do I cope with that so I can talk to girls if this happens to me?” Basically, by the time my client gets the courage to go talk to someone, he’s already shot himself in the foot. He’s already thinking about that one time and he’s already thinking to himself, “She’s going to scream at me,” or “She’s going to tell the police.”

REALLY? Because in my 30 years of approaching and talking to women, I’ve never once had anybody threaten to call the police on me. Now granted, maybe your friend walked over and had zero confidence, was really staring at her like a creepy stalker boy for a long time before he decided what he was going to do. Most likely, by the time he finally walked over with a weird energy about him, she was totally creeped out. She basically wanted him to get the hell away. That’s what a lot of guys will do. Even though they’re well-meaning, they’ll stare at a woman endlessly before they do anything about it.
Honestly, if you’re having this issue, what you need to do is really work on yourself and your mindset. You need to invest some time in yourself. I’m coaching my client to get working on this issue of his, but the fact is that a lot of guys will send me these type of e-mails because they want that miracle answer. They want the ONE ANSWER that is going to change their entire lives! It doesn’t work that way. I can’t change the way you think in a one-paragraph email and nobody can. I don’t sell you crap that you can memorize and then regurgitate in a situation and to a person I know absolutely nothing about. I will work with you, I will give you some amazing insights, and I will help pave the way, but you’ve got to make a steady commitment. Commit to yourself, buy some of my products, get some personalized coaching, keep up with the blog, dig deeper, and go out there and work every single day to become good at this.

That’s what I would tell you in an e-mail.

You have to stop looking for that magic pill. I feel—and I’ve felt—my client’s pain. I really have, and that’s why I’m so good at coaching. But you really have got to stop looking for that magic pill and start doing the work. I could tell you right now: observe, see what she’s doing, react to what she’s doing with a smile, have power in your voice, etc. But it’s not going to mean anything if you don’t go out there—all of you—and make some type of commitment to this. It’s what it takes to live without that fear that some of you have, every day.

If you’re serious about meeting women and you’re seriously frustrated, send me an e-mail and we’ll set up some type of coaching. We’ll recommend the product you need. For those of you who need it but are worried about cost, we can work within your budget. Stop living so much in your head and get this part of your life taken care of. Otherwise, I am going to call the police and bring you into my prison. I’m going to be the warden of that jail, and you’re not going to like what you see, because it will be the most intense locked-down boot camp you’ve ever gone through. Because I want all of you to have the kind of success that I have.

Do you think bad things will happen if you approach a woman?

Do you actually feel like the police are going to come after you if you go out there and try to get to meet a new woman?

And don’t laugh women, b/c the same goes for you too! You have to be willing to do the work to take control of yourself!

I have to write this blog with one hand on my phone, as the mall cops are booking me right now.

This is the most surreal experience ever, being arrested at my local mall.

Wait instead of giving me one call, they said I can do today’s podcast. I was getting worried that I was not going to be able to give you guys that podcast today!

You have to put yourself out there. If you’re ready to make that commitment and take control of yourself, you MUST listen to today’s podcast to give you a real kick to whip you into shape!

Click Here To Download Today’s Podcast!

I was sitting across from my client and we needed a few napkins. So I turned around and standing right in front of the napkins was this really cute brunette that my client had been eyeballing.

So in this situation what can you do to speak with her? As you know, I don’t believe in routines and pick up lines.

1., they can smell a line a mile away, and 2., you need to learn how to connect with a woman so she is all excited that she met you.

So my client and I went over what I would do in this situation and he being the great listener and learner did exactly this.

He walked over and as he was walking over he gathered information in his head: she was right in front of the napkins so this was going to be real easy. He walked over with no hesitation and said excuse me are you the napkin guarder? He smiled as he said it she was quick with a response.

“Yes I am I am all about protecting the napkins,” she said with a smile. So now they went back and forth about the napkins and he looked around and saw that the forks were right next to the napkins so he asked her,”Are you also the protector of the forks and spoons”?

Now before I tell you what she said, I need to explain why he changed the subject. You need to move the conversation forward. You can not keep going around in circles and by doing this it shows that you are playful. He opened her with a tease and busted her about being the napkin police. Now you need to look around and find other talking points to move the conversation forward.

” I am all about the napkins, maybe next time we can talk about the forks,” she said. So she dropped her first hint about the next time. “Well see what happens,” he respond confidently. He smiled at her and walked away. Now why did he walk away? Well, he knew that he had her and she still needed to place her food order so she was not going anywhere and the power of walking away really turns them on. It shows that you are confident and it leaves them guessing and face it, we all like a bit of mystery in our lives. So he sat back down and ate some of his food and about 4 minutes later walked back up and busted her one last time. She was waiting for her food in the wrong area.

“Hey Napkin Girl…I know your job is to guard the napkins but you are standing in the wrong area!”
He smiled and she laughed and they kept chatting about food and stuff. She then got her food and he peeked into her bag to see what she had (he did this to find out if she had 2 meals in there, always need to find out if she is single without asking). Never ask a woman if she has a boyfriend. If she is on the fence she will always make up one so you don’t ask her out. When you ask a woman out assume that she is single.

So what do you do in this situation, up until this point you have totally intrigued her and had some fun with her.

This is what I call a foundation so you can ask her out and she is intrigued by you. Most men will try a routine on a woman and even if they get the number the woman will leave feeling all confused. Why would she be confused with a routine? Well, once she processes what happened she will start to have a weird feeling about the whole thing.

What I teach is to be natural, when you are natural a woman will feel all comfortable and she will be more intrigued by you and your boldness and confidence.

So how do you close her in this situation. Here are a 3 ways to do that.

1. You grab a few forks and tell her to grab a few more napkins. She will do as you tell her because up to this point it has been all about fun. Now look at her and say: “Perfect we now have all the napkins and forks for the next time when we grab some burritos. What’s your number?”

2. Or you can just say: “Nice meeting you tonight have a great dinner.” And as she is about to leave, you let her take the first few steps and then you say: “Hey Courtney, wait….give me your number – we need to grab some napkins together real soon.” This approach will bring her back to the original fun opener and the first close will make her anticipate the next meeting.

3. One last thing….wait about an hour and text her this: How was your nachos…did you have enough napkins:) Add your name so she knows who you are and you will make her smile again.

We will talk more about why the follow up text is so important another day.

‘Till then.

Oh and did he get her number.

Mystery and Intrigue is so much fun.

I leave that up toy our imagination but I will not be seeing my client on our usual Thursday night outing if that is enough of a clue.

I’m walking through the farmer’s market with a client, and he sees two women walking by us, one of whom was wearing a purple shirt. He says to her, “Are you having a purple day today?”

The woman looked at him like he was out of his mind and said, “What?!” He said, “Purple day.” She said, “Uh-huh” . . . and kept walking.

So what do you do in that situation? What do you do when you blurt out something so stupid like “Purple Day?”

Here’s what you do. You don’t hide from it; you embrace it!

You look directly at her and say, “Whoa. Wait a second. Come here. There has got to be something wrong with me. How can you meet someone when you blurt out ‘Purple Day’ and that’s it — and then run like you’re fleeing from the scene of a hit and run accident? Look, I know I’m a dude and I think there’s some crazy manual where I’ve got to be the most entertaining person in the world. I know I could have said a simple ‘hello,’ but no, I figured I’d come up with something really clever like ‘Purple Day’ to say. I am going to leave and go crawl back in the hole that I came from now.”

What do you think is going to happen when you say this? The woman is going to laugh hysterically, and you can open a whole new conversation based on talking about all the lame things men use to try and meet women (which is a very funny conversation).

Not only that, but by calling her ‘Purple Day,’ it gives you a cute and funny way to ask her out after you finish the “lame things men do” conversation. You can say, “Alright, listen Purple Day. Give me your number.”

As you all know, nicknames are something I consider very romantic. When you call each other one from the beginning, it creates a sense of intimacy like you’ve known each other for a long time.

It makes people feel comfortable when you have that. Whenever you text her or you call her, you can go say things like, “Hey Purple Day. What’s going on?” She has that nickname to bring her back to the crazy moment that you met when you called her Purple Day.

So the next time you have a “purple day moment,” don’t let it intimidate you. Just look at the woman and say, “Hey, come here for a second” and then explain to her why you used the ‘Purple Day’ blunder. Talk about how ridiculous it is, and have some self-depricating humor.

The woman is going to really admire you for that. She’s going to realize that you’re real, you’re fun, and you’re different. She will like that you’re able to make fun of yourself, and that you realize you just said the most ridiculous thing in the world trying to come up with something clever to meet her.

This can be the best Christmas video ever.

A hilarious twist on Hermy the dentist from Santa Claus is coming to town.

Ok maybe not that drastic but today I have a challenge for you.

Are you ready to for an early Christmas present from yours truly?

Intrigued?

Then kick back watch and see what I am going to give you.

One last thing.

All you women who just watched the video.

Reverse the advice and make it work for you!!!

I work with so many people who suffer from this syndrome. When I tell them how to do things, they say thing like “This won’t work where I live (or in the town I’m in)” or “This won’t work at my Starbucks” or “This won’t work for me at the gym.”

So ask yourself whether you suffer from “this won’t work for me syndrome.” It’s so funny. I’ve coached people from all over the world — from London to Sweden, to Italy to Vancouver to Michigan — and what I teach works everywhere.

I love when I hear from somebody who writes me and says something like, “Dear David, I live in London. Your principals might work on Americans, but they won’t work on the Brits.” Really? I spend two or three weeks a year in London, and I seem to have a huge social network over there. So it must work over there, because I don’t do anything different than I do here.

I don’t go to London and say, “Now I’m going to put on my London persona.” I don’t book a flight to Detroit tomorrow, and say that I’m going to be a Detroit person when I get there.

“This won’t work for me” is another lame excuse. No matter what reasons follow that statement — whether it’s that you don’t look like me, talk like me or live where I live — they are bull.

What I teach works everywhere and for everyone. Everything I talk about in my Men’s Mastery Series and Become A Master Communicator programs work everywhere and for everyone.

Maybe when you travel to Columbia, they won’t fully understand your sense of humor unless you have a translator or they speak English, but spent two weeks in Columbia and what I teach worked for me there. I have been to the Philippines, and it worked for me there.

So why does it work everywhere for me, but yet I get emails daily from people telling me that it won’t work in the city where they live? My favorite type of email is when someone writes me and says, “I dare you to come here and see if it works.”

Pay for my ticket and pay for my time, and I will prove it. If you think it won’t work for you in your city, pay me for my ticket and my time and if it doesn’t, then I will pay you your money back. I guarantee in the first hour of being together that I will show you not only that it does work in your town, but I will do something so different and outrageous that you’ll think I have performed magic (and yet all I will have done is communicate).

Communication is the key to life. That is what it is. Life is all about communication. Communication works everywhere.

How come little babies can cry and everyone understands what they want? They want to either be held, changed, fed, or rocked. You can figure that stuff out, but you can’t figure out that when a woman in Starbucks winces that maybe she burned herself on a hot cup of coffee. Come on, get out of your head! This will work for you.

The excuses are pathetic. They are lame. I don’t buy into the excuses anymore, nor do I have compassion for them anymore.

I used to have the same excuses you do. I’ve been doing this a long time, and if you suffer from “this won’t work for me syndrome,” my answer to you is BULL.