You know what she’s thinking?  She’s wondering, “Why doesn’t he talk to me? Why does he stare at me?  Why is he constantly looking at me but never saying a word?  Is he mute? Is he terrified?  Does he speak Russian and not speak a word of English?”

Here’s what funny: every morning I wake up and I walk for a few miles and I see the same woman every single day.  I look at her, sometimes I smile, and sometimes I don’t.  

So today, I looked at her and said hello, and she looks at me—eyes light up, face lights up—and she says “Hi,” like it was a relief that I finally talked to her.  I mean, come on guys, stop trying to always think about what to say and just say, “Good morning. Hello.”

If you see somebody over and over again the best conversation starter is not the most clever thing you can think of, it’s just a simple “Hey, Hi, Good morning, I’m a normal human being.  I know how to say good morning. It’s one of the first things I learned when I watched Sesame Street when I was a kid.”

Don’t overcomplicate it.  Make it simple. And if you make it simple, you’ll start building up your confidence and your social network.  “Good morning” leads to “Hey, how are you doing today?” or “I see you all the time walking.” It leads to a conversation the next time.

So stop appearing to be this neurotic freak that scares her because you never talk to her and just stare at her, and start being the human being.

It’s that simple.

Today I want to talk to you about something that a lot of guys already know on the inside, but they forget when they’re out in public or they’re in the presence of a woman they’re attracted to.

It’s something that I talk about a lot—it’s the fact that you have to have fun whatever it is that you’re doing.  And if you’re in a situation that you feel uncomfortable in, either find a way to make it fun for yourself or stop doing that and go do something that you actually enjoy doing.

Ditch your friends if you have to.  If you’ve been going downtown to the clubs, but on the inside you actually feel like the artsy hipster girl is a better fit for you than the dolled-up high heels girl, start hanging out with the artsy hipster crowd.

The internet is so full of information about this and that.  I was watching a video this morning that revealed 10 secret places to touch a woman when you’re on a first date.  What?  10 places?    What is this, the game “Operation”?

When I’m on a date, I hold a woman’s hand during the date, and then I kiss her on the lips at the end of the date.  That’s it.

It’s funny how quickly we forget about the basics.  Going out and meeting women is not that difficult.  Going on a date and engaging the woman you’re out with in great conversation is not that difficult.

So why can’t so many guys do it?  It’s because they’re not having fun.  They’re not engaged in the conversation at hand.  They’re thinking about whether or not they bought the right Axe body spray out of the 38 varieties on the shelf.  They’re thinking about whether they’ve touched the girl on secret place #6 yet.  They’re trying way too hard and they’re just not being themselves.  And the most frustrating part about it is that most guys are actually aware that the only thing holding them back is themselves.

So what do you do?  How do you solve this?

You tell yourself that you’re going to enjoy yourself no matter what.  You don’t worry about making the best impression possible.  You don’t worry about getting laid.  Don’t even think about trying to get laid.  You’ll get there eventually.

Go out to a place you like to go out to.  Smile at everyone.  Wink at the hot ones.  Eat what you like.  Wear what you like.  Talk about what you like to talk about.  Tell jokes that you like.  Laugh when you feel like laughing.   If something goes a little awry…laugh at that, too.

And why do you do it this way?  Because the #1 key to attracting a beautiful woman is by being yourself, and I truly believe that it’s impossible to simultaneously have fun and not be yourself.

When you’re out this weekend, I want you to feel like this guy:

If you’re feeling a little uptight, play this on your phone.  Forget about other people looking at you.  Stop behaving the way you think others want you to behave.  The reality is that nobody is really looking at you and nobody really cares about how you behave.  Let loose.  Have a drink, for chrissakes.  Approach the entire situation like you’re having a blast, like you’re just having the time of your life.  That’s what makes you an attractive personality, and that’s what’s going to make women want to be with you.

Remember that this whole thing is not that complicated.  The weekend is here for you to enjoy, so go out and have fun!

“Embrace change at my own pace.”

I embrace change at my own pace.

You need to really take that statement in and listen to what it’s saying. How many times in a relationship have you talked to someone and given them your point of view, and then expected them to just react right away?

Let’s say you’re dating someone and you’ve been talking a little here and there about moving in together. Then you say to the other person that you want to move in with them and you list all the reasons why it’s a good idea. Do you then expect the other person to immediately respond with an answer? Do you get angry if they don’t immediately react and respond?

So many of us spend so much time wanting people to react the way we react. We want them to react exactly how we react and do it when we want them to do it.

Think about this from a little different perspective. When you are in a relationship and decide you’re ready to bring up a really important subject with your partner, you have almost always spent a lot of time thinking about and processing that topic before you actually bring it up.

Your partner, however, is just hearing about that topic for the first time when you raise it with them, and they haven’t had the benefit of being able to process the subject like you have. So don’t expect them to be ready to respond in that instance.

So many of us spend so much time wanting people to react the way we react. Then if and when they don’t react in that exact way, we start freaking out and playing mind games with ourselves.

I am equally guilty of that. In my relationship, sometimes I will have a conversation with my girlfriend and I’ll say something to her to which I want an answer that day. When I do this, she always says to me, “Give me time. Let me react in my own time.”

So many of us make assumptions. We hear what we want to hear. How many times do you have selective hearing?

Say you call someone on a Saturday. They don’t call you back that day . . . or the next one. Do you text them three times asking, “How come you haven’t called me back? Why aren’t you calling me back?” Perhaps they didn’t have their phone on them.

How many times to do you send an email to someone at 10:00 a.m. and, if you don’t get a response by noon, you send another email asking “How come you never responded to my email?” Allow people to respond on their own time.

When you allow people to respond on their own time you are not only going to get the response you desire (because the answer will come from their heart), but it’s going to be a real response and not a forced one.

People suffocate each other all the time, and they don’t allow each other the space they each need to reflect on these “heavy” conversation topics. When we do that, it’s a reflection of the lack of trust and faith in both the other person and in yourself. That instant gratification you want really can ruin a relationship, because you are forcing someone to answer you when they are not ready.

There is no reason to force people into answering when they’re not ready. There is no reason to make someone say something they’re not ready to say.

Have some patience in life. The more patient you are in a relationship, the greater a relationship with someone will be. So many of you ruin relationships that could potentially be great because of the way you force it.

If you give people time, then a relationship will grow and become exactly what you need it to be. You need to have trust and faith, because neurosis will just drive people crazy.

In today’s podcast, I talk more about communication and about how bringing up these heavy conversation topics can create fear and anxiety in all of us. Then I go into how to relax and feel better about talking out the tough times in your life with friends, relationship partners and business associates. This is one you don’t want to miss!

Click here to listen now:

Also, if you want to learn how to completely transform your mindset and learn how to become a master communicator in your dating and relationship life, then be sure to check out my Men’s Mastery Series and my Women’s Mastery Series.

Do you know that a LOT of men have trouble approaching women? A lot of men suffer from a disease they call “approach anxiety” (although I call it “self-inflicted torture!”)

In my more than ten years of coaching men, virtually every one of them seek my help in learning to conquer approach anxiety. You should see what happens over and over again at the beginning of every one of my men’s bootcamps.

A guy will see a woman he’s attracted to and point her out to me. I’ll tell him to immediately go over and talk to her. What does he do? He’ll stand there like he’s wearing concrete shoes . . . and do nothing. He’ll hesitate.

By the time he finally decides to walk over to the woman, she’s usually made a sudden right instead of a left and has disappeared. He lost his opportunity to approach her.

See, you’ve got to understand that in some ways men and women are built the same. Having a fear of approaching the opposite sex is one of those ways. Many men have a lot of trouble approaching women, and many times women are very unapproachable.

So the next time you see a guy looking at you whom absolutely makes your heart go “thump thump,” I can guarantee you that he is attracted to you as well and that his heart is also going “thump thump.” Stop wondering in this situation if a man is attracted to you.

With that doubt eliminated, you need to put yourself out there just a little bit. Help guys out a little! It’s very important to give guys a couple of signs so they know you’re interested.

Women almost always sit back and wait for guys to do all the approaching. Women spend a lot of time hoping men will approach and waiting to see if men they’re attracted to will approach them. The problem with this is that when you’re a “waiter” in life, you never get what you want.

So the next time you see a really attractive man, smile at him – not once, but twice. When you smile at a man twice, he might actually take the hint and get up the guts to talk to you.

You need to understand the mindset of a man when you’re thinking about this . . . and the mindset of a man in this situation is terrified. As he quakes in his pants, he freaks out about being unable to approach you and feels like he doesn’t know the right thing to say even if he did.

If you were able to be a fly on the wall and listen to what men say during each one of my bootcamps, you would absolutely be amazed at what you’d hear. If you could do this, you would understand that men sit around all the time and wonder what the most clever thing is to talk to you about when they approach you.

The fact is most men still don’t realize that they can just walk over and say “hello” to a woman to strike up a conversation. So the next time you see a guy that you’re attracted to, make it a little easier for him and see what happens!

Its awesome when I see someone transform and really break through their fears.

Today’s blog is something we go over in all the bootcamps.

Also check out the bootcamp schedule on the home page. Only 3 more left this year!

I’m all about creating positive energy wherever I go, because to me, life is a party. If you’re not going to go out there and enjoy every single moment of every single day, then you are just wasting your time.

You should never be waiting to talk to the hot girl – you should talk to everybody. For women it’s the same thing – if you wait to do that, then you’re no different than the bad pinch hitter.

You know, there’s always that guy – the Cubs have one, the Mets have one – where the bases are loaded, it’s the bottom of the 14th and he’s the last guy on the bench, right? And you’re thinking, oh, man, what the hell? Why is he up?

Or it’s like the third-string quarterback. If you’re a Bears fan, all you have is third-string quarterbacks. That team has gone from being good to being bad again so quickly – it’s unbelievable how quickly they went from the Superbowl to being 4-12. I just cannot get over that.

Anyway, let’s go back to this experience we had today in my friend Barry’s clothing store in Brentwood, why I talked to this certain person and how.

When I walk into a store, I’m observing everything. Today, a man walked in with his two little daughters. I started talking to the little girls. I said, “are you picking out clothes for daddy today?” They answered, “oh yes, we are.”

Then Rey picked up on that and he found out from the guy that his daughters were getting him a birthday present. He told Rey that it was his 40th birthday. It’s all about gathering information.

What is this good for? Well, first off, if you’re interested in people, others can tell that about you. When you go into the store, and you’re chatting with other people, other customers will walk in and observe this banter going back and forth. And they will become instantly attracted to you and want to participate in the conversation as well. You become attractive because you are leading the conversation.

And you never know who is going to come in while you are putting on this show. A beautiful woman might come into the store, and if she sees this going on – she sees the daughters talking to you, the father talking to you – she wants in.

Everyone wants in. People walk around with sticks up their asses all day long and they are attracted to people with good energy. That’s the first thing about it.

The second thing about talking to everyone is that it gives you the opportunity to build up your social network. You’ll always run into people over and over again.

You might be out at a sushi restaurant in Chicago or LA, and there’s the guy that you saw in the store. It was his birthday, he was there with his daughters, you remember these things about him, and now he’s sitting there with his wife and her HOT friend.

You walk over and say, “oh hey man, I remember you from when you were shopping with your daughters for your birthday. How’d that day go?” That’s it. You remember everything. That’s the reasoning behind talking to everyone.

I go over all of this and much more in my Mens Mastery Series. Click here for more details.

Todays video is a secret hidden place to meet women.