I love it…. as long as I can avoid the following top 10 bad passenger behaviors on an airplane.

Being a professional flyer (I haven’t earned my wings yet, but I do have a lot of miles and a lot of great benefits on American Airlines) I’ve learned, as George Clooney did in the movie “Up In The Air”,,there’s certain people that you really, really need to avoid as much as possible, and it starts before you even get to the airport.

1. Print out your boarding pass ahead of time and learn the art of the carry-on baggage. I don’t care if you’re going away for 10 days, you should never have to check your luggage. It adds at least an hour to your trip. Unless you’re status on an airline, which most people are not, you’re going to wait in a long line to check in your luggage, you’re going to pay a fee, the luggage is then going to go down a chute, it’s going to get the shit kicked out of it, maybe rummaged through, and then hopefully will get to the destination in one piece. And when it does get to the destination, you’ll be waiting for the carousel to start. If there’s ever a storm at the destination, or you’re arriving late at night, the airport usually is understaffed, so you’ll wait even longer. Learn to pack well, compress clothes, get a suitcase designed for carry-on, there are lots of things you can do. So, armed with that information, when you get to the airport, you’re already armed with your boarding pass and you immediately can go into the security line.

2. Scan the security line. When the security line disperses to four different lines after you wait in the main line, never, ever, ever go behind the family. You’re done. Little Timmy with his little suitcase, little Mary who just learned how to tie her shoes, the mother with the infant, the grandpa who forgets to take his belt off before going through the metal detector, the grandma freaking out because she has to go through the body scanner, they’ll all hold up that line. Never go behind the old people. They take forever with their stuff. Always look for the business people line, the businessman, the businesswoman, the solo person. Not the couple, because the couple can trip you up with an argument and anything else. When you make it through the security line, never act annoyed. Always smile at them. It’ll get you through a lot faster that way. When you’re up, be prepared. Laptop out, shoes off, jewelry off, belt off. Don’t be the guy who holds up the line.

3. When the flight is called, don’t all of a sudden go to the front of the line and pretend like you don’t know your group. You know you’re in group four, so just chill out and wait. Stop going up to the front of the line when you don’t belong in the front of the line, causing a log jam. Stick by your group.

4. Know your luggage dimensions. Wheels first, or wheels out. Bag vertical or bag horizontal. Don’t be the person who puts the luggage in sideways, wastes all that space, and leaves no room in the luggage overhead for anyone else. It just means that the plane will take off later. Don’t go to the bathroom when everybody is boarding, and then you got to work your way backwards against the flow of traffic. I love those people. You knew you had to pee before you got on the plane, you should have peed before you got on the plane. You don’t want to have to fight your way back. Do not put your luggage up way before your seating area.

5. If you’re in row 30, don’t throw your stuff up above row 10, it’s not fair to the people in row 10. You put your luggage in the row that you belong in. Don’t just dump it somewhere and then walk all the way to the back of the plane. Don’t be a luggage dumper.

6. Do not ass your neighbor. When you’re bending down to do something in your seat, do not stick your butt directly in someone’s face in the seat around you. You got to know the dimensions of your body by now, you’ve been in it your entire life, so do not ass somebody.

7. Do not bash somebody in the head with your carry-on bag. You know the dimensions of your carry-on bag, carry your bag on facing forward. Don’t sling it over your shoulder so it hits everybody in the head and shoulder as you’re going through the aisle. You know they way your bag hangs, don’t pretend it doesn’t do that just because it’s behind your back.

8. Don’t pretend you’ve never flown before. To get ready for takeoff, put your seatbelt on, turn your cell phone off, turn the ipod off. I love people who do that, they will keep the cell phone on and the headphones in the ears. If they tell you power off all electrical equipment, it means power off all electrical equipment. Mean, anything that has an on/off button, press the off button, that simple. You don’t need your phone on, you don’t need to wait for the last-minute text or the last-minute e-mail.

9. Never, ever buy McDonald’s and bring it on an airplane. The entire plane is going to smell like McDonald’s. There’s no worse smell than being in a closed compartment with the smell of Big Macs and French fries. So if you’re one of those people who loves McDonald’s, do everyone else a favor and eat it before you get on the plane so you can save the skin and clothes of everybody else. If you’ve ever been on an airplane with McDonald’s, your entire clothes stink like McDonald’s, your face smells like McDonald’s, everything smells like McDonald’s.

10. Acknowledge the person sitting next to you, but do not vomit words at them. The best people are those who share a seating area with you, they sit down and they don’t even say hello to you, at all. This way I know you don’t want to talk, you just say hey, how are you, and that’s it. Do not share your life history with somebody if they’re not interested. If you’d like to talk to the person next to you, go ahead and start a conversation. But it’s a long flight. If they do not respond to you, they put their headphones in, or they stare into a magazine up in their face, it means they don’t want to talk to you. Don’t continue talking or complaining or blabbering on if the person you’re talking to doesn’t care.

11. If you know you have a weak bladder or a bladder the size of a pea, do not get a window seat and then proceed to drink 100 gallons of water during the course of the flight and make the aisle seat person get up five times to let you out. On a two-hour flight, you do not need to be fed and watered every five minutes. There are plenty of times in your day when you are not eating and drinking for two hours. Granted, you need to hydrate on an airplane because you’ll feel better, but one 16 ounce bottle in a two-hour flight is sufficient.

12. This is not your bathroom at home, so do not bring a book or a newspaper with you into the bathroom. Do not sit there for a half hour and read a book while you are on the toilet. Go in, do your business, and get out.

Ok, so a little more than a top ten list. It’s amazing how a little bit of etiquette with people will do you wonders on an airplane. You’re sitting in a large cylinder with a group of strangers, so treat it that way.

And I don’t even want to mention the people who have chronic gas.

I looked at the families with kids in strollers getting ready to leave on a trip to visit Grandma and Grandpa. I looked at businessmen wearing looks of misery on their faces as they prepared to get on yet another flight (kind of like George Clooney in Up In The Air). I looked at the couples reading books and ignoring each other.

As I looked at all these people, I realized something. I realized that I was in an airport and could really go just about anywhere in the world I wanted.

Okay, so the person I came to the airport to get on a flight and see would be bummed if I didn’t show up. The truth is that I could disappear and go anywhere I wanted.

I had my bags already packed, and had my identification and credit card. What else would I need?

I could vanish to any destination, and never be heard from again. With your credit card in hand, you actually could disappear for a long, long time.

The question really is this: To where would you disappear? If you could go anywhere in the world, to what place would you want to go?

What would you want to do once you got there? What would you want to experience? What is going on in your life right now that would make you want to escape to someplace else for a while?

I know why I would want to escape right now. It would be because right now I’m sitting next to a screaming kid. So I would want to go somewhere that was quiet and peaceful, where all the children were well-behaved. That place would also have great beaches and fantastic food of course.

Maybe I’m actually describing the place I am right now. Maybe I’ve been there for the last few weeks and none of you even noticed that I’m not in my home office in California.

Maybe I’ve already left on my escape. Maybe I did it because I just really wanted to experience something different, and I wanted to take a personal dare.

So, how daring are you? Where would you go if your best friend dropped you off at the airport?

Think about it. You have no destination in mind and you walk up to the big board and see where all the flights are heading. As you look at that board, you say to yourself “I can go anywhere I want right now. This is where I would go and why.” Where would you go?

It’s called approach anxiety. It’s a made up disease based on fear and nothing else.

All of you need to be approaching each other and hooking up. The world is a much better place when we are all enjoying each other, having conversations and, of course, having sex!

Are you ready to end your approach anxiety once and for all? Are you ready to learn how to be able to communicate with anyone you see, so you will no longer be dateless and lonely?

I have just completed a product called “Become A Master Communicator” that I will be releasing publicly in a few months that shows exactly how to make all this happen. Ladies, this product will help you as well.

Even though the product won’t be available to the public for a few months, I am giving the people on my list a special *sneak peek* of this product NOW (along with a special offer as well).

If you want to get a sneak peek of this product and you’re not a member of my list, go to the top of this page and sign up in the box.

Also, because there is no podcast today on this “podcast Wednesday,” I am going to do something special for all of you next week. I am going to give you a double dose of podcasts! Yes, there will be two podcasts during next week. They are my Christmas gifts to you. Be sure to check in to catch those . . .

Now on to today’s topic that will inspire you to want to get rid of your approach anxiety and start really interacting with the opposite sex . . .

Do you know what I love about traveling? When you get into a traffic jam inside the airport.

Why are there traffic jams inside the airport? It’s because people don’t know how to drop people off. It’s really funny.

Why don’t people say their goodbyes before they get into the car to drive to the airport? So you drive twenty minutes to the airport. You have to wait until you get there to hug, kiss and say goodbye for ten times?

You could have said goodbye twenty minutes earlier and it wouldn’t have been any different. Actually, had you said goodbye at home, it could have been a much better goodbye.

You could have had a proper sendoff having wild and amazing sex. Now that is a great goodbye! It’s a lot better than standing at the airport staring at each other and hugging.

Instead of spending twenty minutes doing that, just get up twenty minutes earlier and bang your brains out before you leave. That way, you will get to the airport and drop the person off immediately, because you’re tired and you want to go home and shower.

Otherwise you are left with the traffic jam in the airport. It is caused by people who were rushing all day long to get to the airport who, once they arrive there, will decide that they need to spend five or ten minutes on the curb saying goodbye. They think, “Even though I’m really stressed out and I need to get to my gate on time, this goodbye is so important.”

So here’s a note to all the travelers who are being dropped off by their man (or their woman). Bang your brains out early that morning! Have a great orgasm (or two or three if you can climax quickly).

Do that and the goodbye will be so much better, because all day long you’ll be thinking about that wonderful feeling you had (instead of some quick two second kiss).

Come on, tell the truth. After a kiss like that, the minute you get in the car and start sipping your coffee, you will forget all about it. Amazing morning sex you will not so quickly forget.

So that’s my new goodbye for people heading to the airport. You bang your brains out like a maniac, and then you will be totally relaxed on the plane.

You will also be relaxed when you’re sitting in traffic in the airport with all the idiots who didn’t bang their brains out before they left. You won’t even care because you’re feeling good.

If you are dropping off your mother instead of a lover, you can still do a better goodbye before you leave for the airport. You say goodbye to her twenty minutes before you have to get in the car to leave. You hold her hand the entire time.

If you are dropping your boss off at the airport, you do not bang his (or her) brains out that morning. You just high-five him (or her) and say, “Have a great trip. Get out. You’re going out of town, so I’m going to play golf and goof off for the next five days!”

I don’t spend much time with my mother, nor do I even know what habits I acquired from her. Sitting there watching my girlfriend and her mother together, though, made me realize from where a lot of my girlfriend’s habits come.

For example, she has a habit of eating lemons. You know, she’ll squeeze some lemon juice over her vegetables, then eat the lemon from the rind. So as we’re having dinner last night I sat there watching the two of them do this, and it was so interesting to see from where that habit comes.

After dinner I decided to take Daphne for a walk to give my girlfriend and her mother a chance to bond. My girlfriend asks me every day about whether Daphne has eaten and about when I fed her. It’s the same thing every day. When I thought about this, I realized that we get so many habits from our parents.

I haven’t spent much time with my parents as an adult at all. I’m kind of wondering now, though, which habits of mine I picked up from my mom and which ones I picked up from my dad.

It’s going to be a very fascinating couple of weeks…

Now on to today’s topic, Spend a night at home, grab a glass of wine, drink a beer – whatever you want to do – and delete numbers from your cell phone contacts list.

Your phone book is full of people that you don’t give a shit about. It’s so cluttered with people that you couldn’t care less about that by the time you are able to find someone in your contacts list, it’s too late to call them.

Maybe you’re driving from New York City to North Carolina, and you remember that you have two friends in D.C. that you want to catch up with. By the time you find their numbers in your phone book, you’re already in North Carolina!

It’s time to really clear your life – starting with your cell phone. If you clear your phone of extraneous numbers, you can start to savor the real friendships that you’ve made. You can get closer to the people that really matter.

I have never written a blog about how to meet women in an airport? It’s very simple.

First of all, airports are places that women go to connect to other places, right? If you think about the psychology of the airport, about half the time you’re traveling for business, and the other half you’re traveling for pleasure. But 100% of the time you want it to be pleasure.

So if I see a woman standing in line at Starbucks – because there is basically a Starbucks in every single airport – I would just say to her, “so, where are you heading to?”

She might respond, “well, I’m heading to San Francisco.” I can ask, “really, do you live there?” She says, “no, I’m just going on business.”

Then you can say, “alright, so we’re in an airport. If you could go anywhere right now, where would it be?” If someone is just going for a business trip, it’s not that big of a deal. They might be going to a great city, but if they are there on business, they probably won’t be able to see much of it.

But if you can get someone to talk in fantasy-mode – if you can get them to talk about where they really want to go – then the conversation can be more fun.

For instance, if the woman says, “oh, I’d much rather go to Italy,” you can ask, “why Italy? What about Italy? Where in Italy?” If you’ve been to Italy, you can contribute something to the conversation and you can have a conversation about where you want to visit and where you’ve been.

It’s fun. You’re also getting someone out of that whole “oh my god, I can’t believe…” zone. “I can’t believe I have to go on this business trip.” You’re getting her to think about things and talk about things that are pleasurable. You’re talking about things that are fun.

If you’re looking up at the flight departures/arrivals board you can do the same thing. Look at her and say, “where are you heading to?” She answers, “oh, I’m heading to Iowa.” You ask, “okay, if you had to pick any place on this whole board, where would you go and why?” And you say it with a really big smile.

That’s how you start conversations in the airport. Make it fun, make it quick, and just be different! You can find out so much about someone when you do it in this way. Not only that, you’ll be able to find out where they live, where they are going – and who knows? Maybe they are from your hometown but are heading off for vacation, and you can have dinner with them when they return

Or maybe they are heading to the same place you are, and you have a date as soon as the plane touches down!
So what about on the plane? Particularly if you’re not sitting next to them?
It’s really the same thing on the plane. You take an inventory of where they are sitting, and then when you get up to use the restroom, you smile at them as you walk by. She’s probably totally bored on the plane, and she sees you smiling at her, and then the next time you pass by to go to the bathroom, just smile at her again and ask, “how’s the flight?” Or you could say, “oh man, you are so lucky you’re sitting back here right now, I’ve got the kid kickers behind me! You wanna switch?”

I’ve done that. Or sometimes I’ll walk over and I’ll look at her and say, “are the flight attendants treating you as well as they’re treating me? Because I’m sitting up front.” I’ll play around with it, and have a good time.

Those things work every single time on an airplane. You don’t need any more. Those are just simple ways to approach.

Now what if you see people in the concierge part of the airport – not near the gates, would you still just approach them and say, “where are you heading to?”

Why not? “Where are you heading to?” Let’s say you’re sitting in the lounge, waiting to take off and the woman in there is cute. You can stand next to her and say, “going home, or going on vacation?” If she’s on your flight, you’ve already made contact ahead of time. “Going home, or going on vacation?” That’s how you do that.

Let’s say you’re walking around, killing two hours in the airport between connecting flights. You see a woman sitting in an area that implies she’s going to San Francisco, and you’re going to Los Angeles. You go over there and sit down next to her and ask, “wait, is this the flight to LA?” She’ll say, “no, it’s to San Francisco,” and then you can say, “oh man, I am so tired from traveling,” and then share your story with her.

“Man, I’m so tired right now, I’ve been on business trips all week long, and you know what? San Francisco sounds much better than going to LA on business anyway! Are you from San Fran?” You have her laughing and you’ve shared a little bit of a story. What happens next? You start communicating with her.

If you’re in a bookstore – I’ve done this a lot as well – and you see a woman with magazines, you can say, “oh, People magazine – you must have a long flight! Where are you heading to?” That’s it. You don’t have to be so funny.

As I am writing this I am being chatted up by Alan a business traveler who has been making me read this whole thing to him and he has a question.
Go ahead Alan ask away.

Alan…… Right, you can get in a funny line a couple of minutes down the road, but I like to have a good, funny line to open, and that’s where I’m thinking and not acting. And it’s like the three-second rule – I’m sitting there waiting, and then it’s almost creepy when you wait too long!

David: Yeah, you’ve waited way too long and things are not going well. And the fact is, once again, this should all be based on observations. You’re not doing anything that is so earth shattering; you’re just getting inside her head. It goes to the whole theory of becoming a natural at doing this.

You’re not walking over there saying, “let me ask your opinion, do you like 747s better or 767s?” You’re not breaking her train of thought. The reason why so many guys mess up, when it comes down to it, is that you’re pulling her out of her train of thought. You don’t want to do this.

When you pull someone out of their train of thought, you’re inevitably going to crash and burn. She’s not going to be thinking about what you just said. You’re trying to make her think on an entirely different wavelength.

By opening her with observations, you’re getting her to think on the same wavelength of what she’s already thinking about.

So there you have it in airports!

And Alan as you asked me what I was working on to strike up this last part of my blog, you can do the same with women!!

People are always asking me for great ideas for dates, and here I am, walking on the beach at about 8:30 at night and there is almost a full moon. We’re in Marina del Ray, facing Playa del Ray right now and we’re watching the planes take off from LAX.

I’m looking at the guys – Rey, Khiem, and Tony – and I’m thinking, what a great romantic night! If only there was a woman here. But there is – Daphne is here.

But what a great thing to do – if you live near a beach, take a walk at night with somebody. It is just one of the most romantic dates you can have. There are so many different sensations. Take your shoes off and allow your feet to have some fun in the sand. Smell the seawater. Walk through the sand near the edge of the water, and feel the difference. Feel the pebbles, listen to the waves.

One of the greatest things to do when there is a full moon is to watch the reflection of the moon on the water. It’s really nice and a great bonding experience.

Just a few minutes ago, we had a male bonding moment. It was like one of those moments from the movie Superbad. Remember that part where one of the characters said to the other, “you’re my best friend, man. I love you like a man!” That was so funny.

But this is a fantastic way to spend a summer night. Just watching the moon and the water – just taking in the sensations. You could even add a bottle of wine and just sit there. Bring a little picnic of wine and cheese to the beach.

If you don’t have a beach near you, another fun thing to do on a date is to go watch the planes take off. Go where the airport is and just watch the planes hit the sky at night. It’s really intense, because if you look in one direction – especially here in Southern California – on certain nights, you can see the traffic in the sky. You can see the sparkling lights of the traffic floating above LAX.

While watching the planes take off, you can also play the ‘guess what type of plane it is’ game. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately) I think I’ve been on every single one and I can probably describe the seat layout of every plane that flies above.

But those are some good ideas for some fun nighttime dates – they are different, bonding, romantic, and, best of all, FREE!

Todays video will show you how to train your dog to be the ultimate prop.

But it is not what you are thinking so you will need to watch every second of this video.