How many of you walk around every day with the “don’t want to lose” attitude? I’m going to tell you the real truth about this attitude and what it’s doing to your dating life.

Do you know what the “don’t want to lose” attitude is? Usually it means that you are totally caught up in the outcome with everything you do.

So when you go and approach and talk to someone, you don’t approach them as yourself. You approach them as the “I don’t want to lose” person, and the “I want this person to like me” person.

Super Bowl MVP

To begin with, you don’t have this person. They are a total stranger. So how do you even have this attitude in the first place?

Do you know what happens to a sports team that has a “don’t want to lose” attitude? They usually end up 4-12 at the end of the season. They play all of their games tight because they’re not relaxed and laid back, and they are really just a mess when it comes down to executing anything.

Do you think Aaron Rodgers had that attitude last Sunday?

So what you need to do is to go into every approach and every meeting with an attitude that you are going to have fun. You need to not care so much about the outcome, because the outcome is rarely what you expect it to be. Start having carefree moments in life, and lose the “don’t want to lose” attitude!

I want all of you to know when I speak, I speak wisdom.

You want proof.

Back in September before the football season started, I made a prediction about Aaron Rodgers and the Packers.

Check out the last paragraph of this blog from September and you will see that David Wygant speaks wisdom. Click here for the wisdom.

Charles Woodsen WIll Get Laid Tonight

Dating is a process a lot of us really can live without. It’s an emotional roller coaster that can drive you to drink four year-old bottles of Mike’s Hard Lemonade from the back of your refrigerator. There are so many ups and downs of dating.

Here is my top 10 list of the most frustrating dating ups and downs and how to feel better about them:

1. We made out in the parking lot and they never called again. Making out is fun! You needed it. They needed it. Don’t beat yourself up that you did it, just realize you did it. You needed some tonsil hockey and to cop a feel. Be OK with it. It was a great date. You were in the moment, and you experienced something that you wanted to do.

2. I texted them the next morning to say “I had a great time last night,” and they never texted back. So what? You had a great time last night. So did they. They just woke up, and their post-date recap was different from yours. Yes, they probably had a good time but when they thought about it, the chemistry and the “it” factor wasn’t there. It’s not about you. At least you were honest. You lobbed in an honest text. So you did all you can do.

3. Stop the mental post-date recap abuse. You went out with somebody with whom you thought you had a connection, and it turns out you didn’t. So now you’re going to mentally torture yourself for the next four days trying to figure out what you said wrong. You’ll even torture all your friends asking them what you could have done differently to have a different outcome. There is nothing you can do differently after a date is over. It wasn’t the conversation about your drunken uncle that you now think made him think you’re a budding alcoholic. The post-date recap is a form of mental torture. You will never know what that other person is thinking unless they call you. If they don’t call, it really does mean that he or she is just not that into you (which is about the only good advice from that ridiculously stupid book).

4. Should I have said something different in my voicemail message? You left a voicemail message, and now you’re replaying it in your head a thousand times. “Was the way I said ‘Last night was fun’ not with enough enthusiasm? Is that what is making the person not call me back?” When it comes down to voicemail messages, the shorter the message the better it is. From an old sales technique, I always prefer to say “Last night was fun. I have something really funny to share with you the next time we speak.” That’s it . . . it creates a little bit of intrigue, a little bit of mystery and no mental torture.

5. Who cares what they think? You left the above voicemail message without knowing if you’ll ever see them again, and they don’t call you back. You start to think “Now they know that I like them … and they don’t like me.” So what? Is it better just not to do anything? Is it better to just sit there and hope and pray that they call? I always believe in being honest. If you’re the one who left the voicemail message and the other person doesn’t call back, again so what?? You’ve got to do what feels right for you.

6. Stop giving your power away to one person. If a two hour date can cause you to give away all your power and confidence, then you need to learn to embrace yourself and love yourself even more. This is just one person you went out with that you knew for two hours. They don’t know what an amazing person you are. The only thing they know is the person they sat across from at the table. Whether they choose to hang with you again isn’t the issue. The issue is that one person does not determine your worthiness. This is just a person that you went out with, and they’re not calling you back. You’ve got toughen your skin. Rejection is what dating is all about. You just can’t take it personally. If I go out with someone and I had a great time, but they never want to see me again, I’m still a great person the next day.

7. In order to feel better about dating, you need to think abundance. Just because you think you like somebody and they don’t call you back, this is not the last person in the world you’re going to meet. In order to be a successful dater, you need to practice abundance. The power of abundance is training your mind that if it doesn’t work out with one person (or ten people), that there are plenty of other people out there that want to meet you and hang out with a fantastic person like yourself.

So, forget about #8, #9 and #10. I think seven is a lucky number in Las Vegas and if you’re vacationing this summer in Las Vegas you want lucky sevens to come up. So these “lucky seven” are enough here too.

The next thing you need to do is repeat seven times “There really are plenty of fish in the sea.” You just need to be willing to put your pole out there every single day until you hook the one you’re supposed to be with.

Now you need to picture what “in your head” sounds like, because technically you’re not really walking around inside of your own head. If you were, you’d just be this gigantic round thing rolling around on the ground like a bowling ball at all times. If you were really in your head, you would just be a rolly poly head — nothing more, nothing less.

So the term “in your head” is really just your way of saying, “I want to go do this, but I’m worried about x, y and z.” If you think about it, though, the principles of meeting people are very simple.

You observe what they’re doing. You react to what they’re doing so you can really connect to their world (and so you don’t bring them into a whole new world when you’re experiencing something else). Then you speak with authority, playfulness and confidence. It’s really very, very simple.

What makes it so difficult is the fear that’s associated with it. You decide at that present moment whether to do it or not. If you don’t do it, what happens is you go into what people call “getting into my head” (which means that you’re finding an excuse not to do it at that moment).

Technically it’s the same principles over and over again — it really is. I’ve been teaching this a long time, and it’s the same principle over and over again. I taught myself those same principles over and over again until I got it right.

So when you’re in your head, what that really means is that you just don’t want to try at that moment. You’re too afraid to give it a whirl, because you’re too caught up with seeking approval.

You really and truly believe that if this doesn’t work out, things are going to be really bad for you that day (or whatever it might be based on stuff in the past). Past programming could be from the way your parents taught you, the way kids teased you in high school, whatever it was.

You need to remember that it’s all in the past. If I were living in the past and I saw a woman, I might throw my rattle at her and drool. It all depends on how far back in the past I really want to go. I might just give her some Wacky Packs like I did in the fifth grade, or I might offer her a couple pieces of Bazooka gum. It depends on how far in the past I want to go. If I want to go back to the high school days, I might ask her to borrow a pen even though she’s in the middle of Starbucks drinking coffee.

All kidding aside, going back into the past is another way for you not to try. It’s just an excuse. You think, “Well, this failed me 23½ years ago, so I’m not going to do it now. I don’t want to do it now because if it fails, then I’m going to be a total failure because I’m giving all my power away to this person I don’t even know.”

There is no such thing as failure in life. There really isn’t.

If a professional football player plays in a game and the team loses, did he fail? No, he tried his hardest and they didn’t win, but there will be another day.

An investment banker makes the wrong investment. Did he fail? No, he just made the wrong choice and it didn’t work out. A stock trader trades a stock and it goes the wrong direction. Is he a failure? No, it just didn’t go the way he thought it was going to go.

In life, if everybody quit as often in other areas of their life as they do about approaching women, they’d be broke and homeless and living on the side of the road. They would be holding up a sign saying, “I’m a quitter. i can’t afford to pay my bills. Can you please give me some money?”

So getting into your head is just your safety zone. It’s you basically saying to yourself, “I’m much more comfortable not trying than trying.”

Oh and one last thing.

Ravens 17 Steelers 16

Close great game but Ed Reed picks off Big Ben to end the game.

Packers 27 Falcons 20

Just a hunch that Aaron Rodgers is heading to the Super Bowl.

I have no clue who is in first place in each division of baseball.

Basketball creates zero interest from me and I will always leave soccer to the my friends in Europe.

As for me nothing beats the NFL.

I am an avid Fantasy football player as well and this year I am stacked to make a run for the Fantasy Bowl!!

Today I am going to put my money where my mouth is and trash talk a bit.

Heres who I like this year.

AFC
Ravens
Chargers
Colts
Jets

Wild Cards
Texans
Patriots

NFC
Cowboys
Packers
Saints
49ers

Wild Cards
Falcons
Vikings

So what team will be this years surprise and make a run that falls short.

In the AFC I like the Raiders.

In the NFC

I all about the Eagles coming up just a bit short.

So who wins it all this year?

The Ravens will play the Packers in the Super Bowl and Aaron Rodgers will throw 2 4th quarter touchdowns in a comeback win!

How are we going to relate this blog to dating?

Today were not.

So lets get some fun football talk going today. Who do all of you like this year?