Are you talking about the date with the French girl (the one you told me and Pete about when we went out?).

I went on a date after taking a bootcamp in London. I used all the techniques I learned from David’s bootcamp. I am often very critical of myself, but I feel this time I did a good job. I asked really good questions, we talked about the usual good date topics in detail, I shared plenty about myself. I noticed a bit of hairflicking going on, and she was in no hurry to leave. I was quite playful, more so towards the end. We talked for about 2 and a half hours.

At the end of the date there was no intimacy, a kiss wouldn’t have been right. I told her to give me a hug, she gave me a hug (not a particularly warm one) and we said goodbye.

My immediate thought was that I had not done whatever I should have done to make us both feel comfortable making physical contact at the end of the night. Am I right or am I misguided?

In the past I would have used some sort method of making hand/wrist contact after bonding over general life topics. It would make the kiss at the end natural and almost inevitable. Would going back to using a little pua-style sexual escalation (just once) be a bad thing? It appears to me that’s what was missing… or am I thinking too short term? How else do you smoothly bridge the gap between not touching and kissing?

I’d really appreciate hearing what you all think.
Sorry if I have poisoned your blog David!

Justin

I use the “number system” just for first impression looks (I use that to give me a better idea of understanding what my type is in terms of looks). Once I meet them, it goes out the window because after that, it’s irrelevant. Once you can make a connection with someone, then the “scale” is tipped every time. That’s something I had to learn over the years.

revababy –

Couldn’t say much better than that. It is all about connection and using body language to emphasize that. Show that you care…sincerely and that you are being yourself and you’ll go a far way when interacting with women.

Best line ever in this blog. Love it. It is so true guys, that the best way to turn on a woman is through her mind. And also just because a woman is so gorgeous, doesn’t mean that she’s gonna dump anyone who doesn’t look like Brad Pitt or David Beckham, or worse any guy who doesn’t have the same hot bodies of the two mentioned. DUH! They’re still humans who have the same desire to find someone who can sweep them off their feet.

Okay now back to the topic itself, based on my own journey, the men with confidence always turned me on. And yes, it is indeed the connection. For example on me, you just gotta show you’re into me in a way that would appear like you wanna know me or you wanna know how it’s like to take me out on a date, blah blah blah like you wanna know me as a person….you just don’t say “hi, you’re so hot, wanna go with me to my place now and get intimate together?” that is absolutely creepy and am tellin you guys, only prostitutes will say yes to that kind of line. Because other than them, all women who will get approached like that will surely run away from you instead. There’s gotta be the talking. We get carried away when you connect with us, in a way that you’re facing to us while you’re talking to us, and you’re actually paying attention to us too. In other words, eye contact is very important and just be yourself.

That is great advice……and as i always say there are only 1s and 2s.

The 1s you want to date and the 2s you don’t

I hate guys who use the number system!!

Great question! One of the things that might help is to stop thinking they are nines and tens and view them more as a person. Another thing to do is to flirt with all kinds of women. For example, I was working with a guy today who was flirting at the clothing store with one of the people who worked there. The woman who we were flirting with was having so much fun and talking about chocolate that her coworker jumped in the conversation. So, we started to tease and flirt with her also. When we create that energy there are times when the women are attracted and want to be a part of the fun!

One last thing, did you read David’s blog from last week. He mentioned to start working on developing conversations. I like how he used the context of starting a conversation versus flirting with so many people. Starting a conversation sounds more genuine.

Try a few of these tips out and let us know how things are going.

Chris

Stop touching with the intention of sex and start touching with the intention of being playful.

When I was out on my date last night, she had a baseball cap. Every time she said something silly, I would grab the bill of the hat, pull it over her eyes and draw her head toward me. It was playful and she seemed used to it. She is awesome, BTW.

But yeah, stop being sexually creepy with your touchy and just have a good time.

If you really want to know more about this, I would read some stuff by David DeAngelo.