Stop Comparing Yourself To Others!
January 25, 2010 
19 Comments
Let me ask you all a question. Does watching the NFL playoffs sometimes make you look back at your athletic past and say, “Well, I could be Peyton Manning if I had only worked harder at it?”
If your answer is yes, I say to you … Really?! Come on now.
The fact that you would even compare yourself to anyone else is a sign of emotional immaturity. The only person you need to compare yourself to is yourself.
It doesn’t matter what area of your life or yourself you want to be better. Ask yourself how you were one year ago compared to how you are now.
Have you grown in the last year? What have you learned? How have you progressed? What do you still need to learn, and what are you going to do to get there?
I receive emails all the time in which people will write things like, “David, I’m just not as good as my friends with women. I go out with my friend Bill and he’s so great at meeting women. I just wish I were him.”
Let me tell you something. With that attitude, you’ll never get good at it.
What you should be saying instead in your email to me is this: “God, I went out with my friend Bill the other night and it was so much fun. He’s amazing with women, and I just learned so many things from him and had such a great time! I’m so happy that he has this skill, and I look at him as kind of a role model.”
Never compare yourself to other people. Never look at somebody else and say “I wish I had as much money as my friend Tom,” or “I wish I had as good a marriage as my friend Jimmy.”
Instead, go to your friend Tom and find out how he made all that money. Learn his secrets, so you can incorporate them into your own life. If your friend Jimmy has such a great marriage, then sit down one night with him and his wife and ask them what the secret is to their happy marriage.
You do this so that you can learn from successful people. That is for what successful people are there. Successful people are there so that you can learn from them. They are not there to make you jealous.
If you are jealous of other people, you are never going to learn from them. Jealousy is an ugly emotion. If you’re happy about other people’s success, on the other hand, then you are able to sit down and ask them about how they achieved their success.
Everyone loves to share their journey, and life is all about paying it forward. If you pay it forward, then you are passing good lessons on to someone else.
So, the next time you’re comparing yourself to somebody and you experience those tinges of jealousy, remember this blog. Instead of comparing yourself to them, ask them what they did to make themselves such an expert in the field of women, marriage, money or whatever it might be.
That is what it’s all about. That’s what I’m here to do for you.
How did I get so good? Well I give you everything that I’ve ever done, and show you how I learned and overcame all of my own struggles, on my Community site and in my videos. I share everything that has worked for me.
I just want to continue to enlighten you and help you grow as people. It makes me happy to share my knowledge with all of you.
So take jealousy out of the equation, and put admiration into it. You’ll find life will become a lot easier and a lot more fulfilling.
CLICK HERE to hear me talk more about how I learned to be successful with women, money, my business, fitness and other areas.
Dave, you’ve hit the nail on the head. We should all strive to meet our own goals. A little thing I do on a daily basis is set up a challenge for myself whether it be at work or a project around the house, and try to win that challange. I imagine a lot of successful people, including yourself, do this and it’s the reason they’ve become successful.
hey david ! great advice i just cant stop learning from your daily blogs!
Wow this is a very deep blog today. I will def. have to answer those questions to myself.
I remember in the past I was really jealous when I used to see just about any guys with hot girls, but then I realized its not about them, its about ME. So David I will take this blog to the heart, as it is a great reminder for me everyday.
Steve:
Great idea the more you ask questions and go in depths about who you are the more you will be surprised what comes up. Just try this.
Will do that Jacob. Its interesting sometimes we forget to ask our self the questions which we always wanted to ask, instead we focus on other people.
Btw…where have you been Jacob?
Thanks for asking Steve.
I was teaching a D.C. bootcamp the past weekend. Had a great group of guys, and so much fun!
Oh that’s where you were. Well sounds like you had a tons of fun man. When is the next D.C. bootcamp?
I think there will be one end of March or beginning of April.
Jealousy is a very bad emotion as it leads to mental unrest. I guess we are all guilty of that time to time but we must let it all go and learn to accept others and be open and learn from them.
How can you get rid of the jealous feeling when you find out the woman you like, is not interested in you, she is only interested in your friend????
Max,
As hard as it probably seems to do, the only real way to get rid of that jealous feeling is to be happy for her and find another woman to like. You can only control yourself and your actions…not who she’s attracted to or who she likes. I know, though, that it’s easier said than done! Good luck!
I always visit your blog every single day. And for each day i visit, I always learn something new and incorporate in my life. So for that, great blog David!
You always hit it home. Keep it up!
I’ve learned to stop being jealous of people who are way more successful than me. You’re right, why be jealous about them? You always said David, learn from them and incorporate their secrets in your life.
Hey Miguel
Keep it up:)
Man the pressure I feel now……..Ok pressure all gone will keep the amazing blogs coming.
I have some great ones in my head….back to work!
Max–then HER loss not yours…that should be your mentality:)!
Miguel- me too, its my nightcap
Max,
You only get rid of the feeling by letting it sit in you… and let it pass.
It’s normal for you to feel jealous when you want something you don’t have. However, refocus your energy on yourself.
You are giving her more importance by putting her on a pedestal. You are a great guy! If she doesn’t see that… then there’s only 2 reasons:
1. Have you shared yourself with her in a way that shows how great of a guy you are? Basically, have you given her the opportunity to really get to know you, to get intrigued by you, to get curious by you?
2. If you have, then has your method of “showing yourself” to her effective? Meaning… can she actually see it?
It’s one thing to project something out… but it’s another thing for other people to actually perceive what you are trying to project.
If you have actually done both, then it’s just a chemistry thing. Be happy for her… and look for women who are actually ready to see you for who you are.