Stop Beating Around The Bush
November 9, 2009 
14 Comments
Are you a passive aggressive person? Are you somebody who has a lot of trouble with confrontation? Do you have difficulty telling someone how you feel — whether it’s telling someone you love them, that you want to see them again or even asking somebody out on a date?
Are you a “beat around the bush” person? Mr. Beat Around The Bush is Mr. Passive Aggressive’s brother. He always waits and waits and hopes and hopes for someone to give him confirmation so he can ask them out.
Do you beat around the bush when you’re trying to ask somebody out? Do you say, “So, do you like coffee?” hoping they will respond with “I love coffee. Why don’t we get together for coffee sometime.”
Let me tell you something, Mr. Beat Around The Bush. Doing this is really no different than being passive aggressive.
People in life who beat around the bush and have passive aggressive behavior tend to be the most frustrated people, because they never seem to get their needs fulfilled. They tend to walk away from situations saying over and over, “Oh man, I wish I would have asked her out. I just didn’t get the right signal.”
My question to that guy is, “Why didn’t you ask her out?” The reason is that they beat around the bush and are passive aggressive.
In life, you had better state exactly what you want. You better state what you need and you better be damn proud of it. If you don’t state what you want, you’ll never get what you want.
If you don’t ask that person out and continue to beat around the bush, you’re always going to be frustrated because you never get your needs fulfilled. You’re never going to date the person you want.
Then, when you finally do date people, you will go from Mr. Beat Around The Bush to Mr. Passive Aggressive. This will manifest in your relationship. So stop this cycle now, and stop beating around the bush!
your right david
absolutely right!
i am “Mr. Beat Around the Bush” because i wait and wait and wait to ask someone out or telling them how i feel, because i am just afraid that they won’t feel the same way with me.
I was Mr. Beat Around the Bush for a while. It never got me anywhere in life or with women. Being assertive and letting people know what you want is the only way to go. But, from experience, I can tell you that breaking that cycle isn’t easy to do. Its almost like being out of your comfort zone 24/7. In the end you grow a lot, but its one of the toughest things to do. Its kind of like breaking an addiction of some sort.
“Oh man, I wish I would have asked her out. I just didn’t get the right signal.”
That’s me… I’ve lost valuable women like that. Women that, had I taken the risk of inviting into my life, would’ve made me happy in lots of nice (and also illegal) ways.
Thanks, David! With every blog you post, I see how much work we all need inside in order to attract a lady. I think I don’t want to spend my life in this cycle anymore! And neither should you, and you, and you… and you there, with that funky t-shirt you we were wearing yesterday
That’s me too. :p I used to have a friend of mine say some magic word or motto to help me ask a girl out. Most of the time, I never ask them out. Hahaha.
But Thanks David for this great post! First there was the passive waiter, the window shopper and now, Mr. Beat Around the Bush! Now part of David Wygant’s Dictionary of Dating and Social Life.
What is the right way for a girl to ask a guy, what would you guys think would be a great way for a girl to be ms. Passive aggresive;-)
actually im dead guilty of this, but recently i learned to be more straight foward and honest, but it seems like the people around me arent used to that type of behavior, so im often confused on what to do…
Great comment, Rob. Very astute. I feel the same way. It’s like breaking an addiction, because you’re so used to a certain set of thoughts and behaviors.
Not easy to do at all, until you experience a little success. That has a way of making you keep at it.
Hey David, Jesus said “Do not commit adultery” But then He took it a step further and said, “whoever looks after a women to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” So everyone on this blog needs to repent (change your mind about sin and turn from it) and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ.
What? If you ever read this blog before…you would realize you couldn’t be any further from the truth.
Since when did this blog get religious?
Anyways i found his great quote from a guy on twitter who posts comments his 79 year-old dad says and I thought this was characteristic of many people on here. Its a wise saying thats for sure.
“That woman was sexy…Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won’t screw you, don’t do it for them.”
Dan just needs some pussy.
I think J.C. was talking about how lusting after another woman is the same as cheating on your girl. Not “avoid women”. It’s a good debate though, is that cheating?
I always believed you should put your intent out there. You should allow the woman to say no to you. Don’t beat around the bush. Act and say what you want. If you aren’t right for her, she’ll let you know!
Nah, I don’t. I’m tempted at times like everyone else, but I’m waiting for marriage. The way it was suppose to be; between one man and one woman. When you fornicate you give a piece of yourself away and become one flesh with that person. God wants you to wait until you get married so you can have normal sex, rather than lusting after women and never getting enough. Think about it, God is protecting you from STD’s, VD’s, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, and all the other sinful things that come with sex outside marriage. Repent and trust in the Lord Jesus and He will show you what life is all about because He is the author of life.
I’ll leave you with this verse:
Proverbs 3: 5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths”
God Bless you,
Dan