Stay Motivated
By David Wygant
I recently returned from a great six day trip to Hawaii. It was a trip I really needed to just clear my head, have a great time and relax. I took someone very special whom means the world to me, and someone whom I think is one of the greatest women in the world.
For those of you who know me, you know I’m talking about my ex, Alison, with whom I spent six and a half years.
Alison and I are not together as a couple anymore due to my own issues.
You know, in life nobody is perfect or has it together all the time. In a nutshell, though, when Alison and I were together she really wanted to continue our relationship and to build the foundation for a future together with me.
During the time I was building my business, however, it was really hard to do that.
There’s something about being a man, having a business and making that business exactly how you want it to be. There is something inside a man that really just aches to be ultra-successful and proud of what he does.
It took a long time to build my business because even though you are an expert at what you do, you still have to build your reputation.
You need to work with clients. You have to research. You’ve got to live it, believe in it, and be that business.
Alison and I had a great time together and a great relationship, but I just wasn’t ready to give her what she wanted. I believe there’s a saying that when you love someone, you have to be willing to let them go.
You can’t keep someone when you can’t give them the love in a relationship that they want and deserve. Thus we separated as a couple.
When Alison and I separated, I realized (and I’ve always known since we broke up), that she is an amazing woman and in fact is amazing in every way.
Now I am ready for that type of relationship and I would love to have that type of relationship with Alison, but she is no longer sure if she wants to have that type of relationship with me.
I’m not trying to dump all of my feelings and the details of my personal life on all of you, but I am telling you all of this because there is a very important lesson I want to share. Just because you’re ready for something with someone doesn’t mean the other person is ready for that at the same moment. Timing is everything when it comes to relationships.
So if someone is worth fighting for, you better fight for them every step of the way. It’s a battle out there to find someone with whom you can really connect and whom you really love. Because meeting the right person is so hard, I tell people all the time to stay focused, stay motivated, and to meet as many people they can.
In order to find the right person for you, you must go through a lot of people. You’ve got to work the numbers.
To find someone spectacular you will have to go through a lot of disappointments, a lot of near hits, and a lot of near misses.
Even if you do find a spectacular someone, if you’re not ready for it then it will not work out and you are going to have to do the whole thing again when you are ready.
Part of what I stress all the time with my clients and with all of you is how important it is to work on yourself. Work on your inner confidence. Work on who you are as a man or as a woman. Work on yourself as a person. What do you want out of life? Who do you want to be, and how do you want to be remembered?
Are you passionate about what you do for a living? If not, that’s going to affect you in all other areas of your life. If you are passionate about what you’re doing but you are not fully successful at it yet, then keep at it.
In order to be able to give to someone else, you must first complete this part of your journey. So now I feel complete. I have everything I want: a great business, great people with whom I work, and a fantastic dog who snores next to me every night.
Now I also want that spectacular person, and it would be nice if that person is Alison because finding someone as special as she is isn’t an easy task.
I’ve dated other people this year and last year, but they just didn’t work out because none of them were grounded, stable or as amazing as I always considered Alison to be. No matter who I was seeing, I always had Alison in the back of my mind.
It’s really interesting what you discover as you’re going through life finding yourself. Sometimes you realize that what you had is exactly what you want . . . but you just weren’t ready for it.
So my advice to all of you today in this blog that is so different than almost every other one I’ve written, is to work on yourself. Become that person you can respect, and others will respect and love you back!
In order to really be a powerful man in all ways you need to lead a woman sexually.
Todays podcast talks all about that.
Have an amazing Friday!
Wow! This is deep….
David, with the few times i met Alison, i can tell she is really cool. And i hope you the best of luck!
As for me i’m still on my journey of finding myself. and finding out what i want.
David and Allision,
David is a guy who is always there to help no matter where you are. I never met such a spectacular person in my whole life. I admire you david. You know when you love somebody, you feel the same way as the other person. When you and your love are together, you feel like you are in heaven. You don’t want any disruptions, or any body around you. Its just you and her. When she enters the room, your heart beats it so fast that you feel like kissing, hugging her for the rest of your life. You listen and feel them. You feel like you have accomplished every single thing.
David you and I are pretty much alike man. You feel happy when your clients accomplish something because when they are happy, you are happy. You teach them how to become a better person. You feel like, for example, you know what let me help this guy and then I’ll think about myself later on. Guess what, I have the same feelings too my friend. I always make my friends happy. I help them first in anyway rather than thinking about myself. What are we doing david? We are helping, and those who help others, help is always available for them. In other words you give favor to others, you get the same thing some day. And that day is TODAY.
Come on people, david needs us. He was there when we were alone. Now he needs us. He needs Alison and us.
I am sure Alison will read our blogs. Alison, I never met David. I only communicated him via blogs, emails, and over the phone one day. I can tell you that David is the guy for you. As David mentioned in his blog, sometimes you don’t feel the same way. When you are ready, doesn’t mean the other person is ready too. But you’ve gotta give him a chance so he can prove himself.
Good luck David.
Hey David, I’ve never met Alison, but she sounds like she was also a good learning experience for you in a way. It’s good for me to see that my teachers still face tough decisions and continue to grow as human beings just like the rest of us.
David – What an incredible blog today!
You had me reaching for a kleenex by the third paragraph 
I don’t know what will end up happening between you and Alison, but at a minimum I hope she sees this amazing tribute to her … I can’t imagine anything meaning more to a woman than to hear words like these from a man with whom she shared so many years. It is clear even from reading this that she must be a very wonderful person.
David, you are obviously not only a person who really knows himself … but you are also clearly someone who will have a lot to give someone. You have a good heart and a deep soul …. I hope everything works out the way you want.
Wow David!!!!!!! You’ve truly blown me away with this blog …. hence why after reading your blog for almost a year, this is the first time I’m posting.
I loved how you were so open about how special Alison was (and is) to you. The way you spoke about her, though, to me speaks volumes about you …. and about how you see women.
It is blogs like this that make it very easy to see why you are someone who both men and women look to for advice …. and why you have so many things to teach both sexes.
David, if you ever start having any seminars or bootcamps for women…. I’ll be the first one to buy a ticket!!!
Hey David, been reading you blog for a while and I love it. This is a great post cause I can really relate to it. I just got out of a relationship where we were at different points in our life. She was a wonderful girl but she was also ahead of me in life. I still have some growing to do and I couldnt stand to make her wait around on me to catch up to where she was. I’d like to point out that the single life is a great time to push yourself and grow at an incredible rate. I felt like I put my life on pause and I didnt grow during our one year together. We both still are good friends and keep in contact. Overall I would say it was for the best. Good luck Man
This was a very personal blog to me as you can all tell.
One that I knew would get some reactions to say the least.
Its all about something i am going through right now and it is all about getting deep with myself.
I may never be with alison again or i may be but i can tell you all one thing.
Getting open and deep is the only way to be.
We just broke from the first night of the bootcamp.
What a great group of guys and as always had an amazing role play session at my house.
I cant begin to tell all of you just how much fun i have during the bootcamps,
Being able to connect and help men grow and become powerful and successful not only with women but with themselves is my passion.
Its late and will post more about the bootcamp this weekend.
Hey david,
I’m in a situation that i know alot of guys get them selves into and i really need advice. well, i’ll keep it short. I truly am falling for this girl i met. we hung out one night at the park, we both had a great time and we connected like we’d known each other our whole lives. and i even went over to her house 4 days later, and we cooked, played pool, watched a movie, had a great time again. so i talked to her and told her that i had a great time both of the nights and really felt something special between us, she texted me back saying the same thing. then she told me she has a boyfriend, who she has a nearly 2 year history with, and she doesn’t want to cheat on him. now i’m 17. so i figure if just wait it out by only calling her twice a month or so to catch up. we can start over when she breaks up with him eventually cause i really like this girl, but i dont want to come off as clingy by calling her everyday. cuz i think about her everyday. could you please give me some advice david
I feel you david, Love hurts alot. Alison is one of the most precious thing in your life. I hope she come back for you.
You know I never shared anything personal in deep about myself with anyone but you. I consider you as my coach and a brother as well. I wish you good luck with everything.
David, I used to post some a while ago and have since dropped to lurker mode.
Dropping out to say that when you said,
“So if someone is worth fighting for, you better fight for them every step of the way.”
It really touched me very deep inside.
Thanks for saying that. It’s what I needed to hear more than anything right now. I met that person worth fighting for a long time ago but didn’t choose to do so.
Fifteen long years later, I’ve met another worth fighting for. I was wavering for a while falling back into prior negative mindsets. Your one pristine comment hit me right between the eyes and made me see clearly what it is I want out of life.
Thank you.
I agree with you Stewart.
Wow, David! One can really tell you’ve gained a lot of insight and that you’ve learned a LOT in your life
You have so much to give, I hope Alison will be the one to receive what you have to give! Or if not (:() that you find someone who’s ready to receive that and in return give you what YOU want..
I feel that way right now; that I have a lot to give.. But of course, it will take me a while and more insight to become that person I want to be one hundred percent.
Anyways, good luck to you and all the best in the future with your business/lovelife.. and yea, everything
Hope to meet you one day!
David, I’m mainly dropping in to echo what some others have already said, but today’s blog was a really meaningful one to me too. I’m dealing with a VERY tricking timing situation in my own dating life right now, and actually in the process of fighting hard for someone I know is absolutely worth it.
It’s a precarious thing and it changes every day, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, and your blog and advice have been a huge help for me keeping my head on straight through the process. It’s a long road I’ll be on for a while, but thanks to your advice I’m enjoying the trip, even the setbacks, a lot more than I ever would have otherwise.
I’m new to reading your blog, so I really do not have a good feel for you yet. However, there’s one of two things — either you need to connect the dots with Alison or get her out of your system. From what I read in this post, need to cross all the T’s and dot the I’s. Sounds like you love her that much.
Once again David, one of your blogs really hits home with me. Timing IS everything. I still find myself comparing every relationship I’ve has since to the one relationship I had when she was everything I ever wanted in a woman, but I wasn’t ready for it at the time, nor did I fight hard enough to keep her.
I can understand her side of it to though. Eventually she moved on. She is now married and has kids.
To borrow one of your coaching lessons.. I shoulda, coulda, woulda. But I didn’t…
David: Its been a few days since i first read this blog. Being the same age I can relate in many ways. Your experiences, the love, the loss has made you who you are. Open yourself. It will happen and you will be ready.