Speak From Your Heart Not Your Penis!
June 10, 2009 
73 Comments
Today’s podcast is all about speaking from your heart and communicating from your heart. This is something that really sunk in with me the other day during a conversation with my girlfriend. I really became conscious of the important difference between speaking from your head and speaking from your heart.
I was really irritated about something — I don’t know if it was something having to do with her or something else, but I was frustrated. As I was talking to her, she says to me “You’re so in your head. Speak from your heart.” So I took a deep breath and thought about it, and I realized that I was speaking from frustration (and from my head).
Speaking from the head (as opposed to from the heart) is something that men in particular tend to do when talking to women. We want to go and meet women, and yet we’re not speaking their language.
Women understand and are usually all about speaking from their heart and soul. Men, on the other hand, will talk to women and stay in their head the entire time.
All they are doing the entire time is thinking about what to say next and what to do.
When men do this, women know it. It shows. They will say “hello” in a nervous tone of voice, or say some line in a completely dispassionate way (all because they read somewhere that it was something they should say). They speak with absolutely no passion.
Have you ever had an argument with a woman where they start telling you all sorts of things that start with the words “I feeeeeel. . .?” All you hear is that extended sound of all the “e’s” as she says those dreaded “I feeeeel this” and “I feeeel that” phrases. It drives you crazy because you don’t want to hear the word “feel.”
Feeling, however, is what women are all about. Women feel and speak from their heart. They want to connect with you.
The reason so many guys fail when they approach women is because they’re talking either from their penis or from their head. They are like a walking penis, approaching women in a way that says to them “Hello. I’m holding my penis in my hands. Do you want to touch it?”
When men think with their dick (and sometimes only with their dick), women feel it. They know it.
One of the greatest exercises I tell men to do, is to just walk up to people all day long, and say to them from their heart “Hi. How are you today?” A lot of guys will refuse to do this exercise because they don’t think it’s fun, but it is a great way to learn how to communicate sincerely with people (including with women).
People really understand when you’re sincere. They know it. They can smell it if you’re not.
The insincerity tied to the use of pickup lines and routines exposes you right from the get-go. Women will know immediately that you are not sincere and aren’t speaking from your heart.
The other day, someone asked me when this whole concept came to fruition for me. I have actually been great with women most of my adult life, but once I started speaking from my heart my connections with women got deeper and more intense.
So, let’s say you see a woman who intrigues you and you want to approach her. She just ordered a great-looking sandwich.
You need to walk over to that woman with the curiosity of a little kid and say something like, “God that looks good! What is that?” She will feel your passion and your sincerity. She can smell it.
If, however, you walk over to her with your penis leading you and comment on the sandwich only because it’s a way to “open” her, then she is going to perceive you completely differently.
You may say something very similar like “Hello. Is that a good sandwich?” If you’re nervous because you are worried about how to deliver the line, though, the woman will smell it. She will know that you actually couldn’t care less whether or not she is enjoying that sandwich.
You’ve got to speak from your heart. Life is not about speaking from your head, and so many of us spend most of our time doing that. Life is about speaking from your heart.
I go into more depth about how to speak from your heart to make better connections with women. Find out how women can begin to perceive you in a whole different light … starting RIGHT NOW.
Click here to listen to the podcast:
Also, if you want to learn more about how to be able to approach women in ways that you will feel confident about and which will allow you to connect with women right from the moment you meet them, then check out my program “20 Ways To Meet Hotter Women”.
Great post David….it takes courage to speak from the heart and fortune truly does favor the bold especially emotionally. I really like your energy man. Thanks for another dynamite pod cast!
Hey Dave
I did not read the blog….This morning when I got and check I was minus something that God did not give me at birth…A penis.
My theory: think more with the head on your shoulder and less on that third leg or the crotch. But there are some women who can think the same way men do.
Luv Ya
Pet Daphne for me.
I was wondering if the last one was the blog of the day glad there is a new one!
You are the best David!
Jimmi- hopefully after reading the blogs you are learning to not speak from your penis and I think David was talking about you:)
speak for yourself howe its more like you i hope you are learnign to become a real man:)
You are so right david ever since i have been speaking from my heart with everyone, people get very attracted to that energy!
howe & jimmi cut out the ego talk
There is nothing more alluring than enthusiasm even when you don’t know much you can talk about anything as long as you speak from your heart great advice!!!!!!
Leo- how were you different before you started to implement David’s material?
I was soft spoken, and way too much in my head, lot exuceses man that were holding me back!
however ever since I learned to love myself fully and speak from my heart people around me reacted differently!
That changed my way of looking at the world!
hope that make sense?
Sandra- long time no talk how are you doing beautiful?
jimmi- it so easy to get you mad you need develop a better mentality:)
David- just wanted to say I really enjoy all the Wednesday podcast they very motivational!
yourshowe
what is up handsome…I just read the comments from you guys…boy o’ boy do you all brag…Let see can I ask a personal question how does a woman know how long of a guy she can take? Have you measured lately? Who is the best lover on this blog?
I got to tell you Leo- I am guilty of speaking softly sometimes I don’t know why, and it is kind of hard to change that voice pattern. How you practice to change your voice and speak more deeply?
Sandra-
i am not the one to brag, i just like it tell it like it is to howe. He is the one who loves to brag it’s time that he learns to accept himself and stop that bragging! So very good point you have there:)
who is the better lover, i think it would be me because i don’t kiss and tell:)
I am curious like Lance how do you make your voice deep and speak louder?
I think by focusing on speaking from your heart, and reminding yourself to speak louder would help! It’s all repetition you know.
I like what Jeffery had to share about speaking with passion.
Another recommendation would be tape record yourself it will give you a better assessment of your voice.
Or ask several people you know about their take on your voice you will get some great feedback.
I was approach by a pickup artiest yesterday, at first I couldn’t tell until he started to tell me a story about him and his friends girlfriend and wanted my opinion, he then started to touch me on my arm and shoulders. It felt so awkward, I looked at him and I asked him if he was a pickup artist and the guy turned red and walked away from the bar LOL
So guys there is nothing in the world more attractive than a guy who is real and speaks from his heart!!!
how are you doing big bad jake and where is ken today LOL
Julia-
great job putting that pua back to the land he came from LOL
i am doing good you know working and about to go do yoga soon.
how about you?
And i dont know where ken is LOL
I just got off work, it was a long day. Just relaxing and taking care of few things around the house.
You do yoga too like David, great for you!
Julia- how did he initially approach you?
He came approach me from the side, and smiled to be honest even his smile didn’t feel genuine, he def. needs a DW bootcamp:)
Man that is so creepy to be approached by dude who keeps on touching you and telling you bullshit.
Was that the first time you were approach by a pua Julia?
No that wasn’t the first time, maybe the 20th times:)
I got to start handing out David’s business card.
Sandra- I am curious were you ever approached by a freak like that or some pua?
That guy is a great example of what not to be:)
All PUA speak from the penis and the penis is the manipulator that men always listen to.
PUA
Now think what PUA stands for.
Jay
I am really glad that this podcast really resonated with you!!
It took me a long time to ignore the pushing of the penis and let go of its expectations,
When I finally learned the power of speaking from the heart my life really became much clearer.
I like these DW podcasts, I like to talk with people, I can feel his state because he speaks from that biggest muscle that all the real men have.
hi
This is a prime example of how important it is to act on feeling when talking to women, because as much as PUA’s try to break down attraction. the reality of it is, you can’t. Attraction is ‘emotion’
If you can make a girl ‘feel’ a certain way. That’s all you need
Awesome David!
Onder
So true and that is the number one mistake that men make. Attraction is emotion and not manipulation or saying the right line.
Its about creating a feeling in a woman and that is what most PUAs do not get.
And I can feel it right now some PUA is going to start blasting the post and asking what I have against PUAs:)
As you all know i think a man should never call himself a PUA.
Its so childish and a turn off to every women i have ever met or spoken with.
You only have to feel yourself good, and it has nothing to do with her, you should just feel great about yourself and don´t care about getting her feel it. You just flow how you flow, it´s the simplest thing.
other people can join in that if they like, it´s a free world!
Jared
Very true.
Feel amazing about yourself and people will be attracted to you!
Life is really that simple we get so far into there heads that they become paralyzed.
Jared point so true,
This way you have a great chance of attracting people who enjoy your kind of energy. I do believe we can get along with anybody but it’s magic when our energies match and complement each other.
See all I have to do is get it started and see how many blogs you get David….Luv you guys…
Jimmi
Answer to your question when I was younger yes but today I send them packing…
Fantastic. Sincerity and being yourself is key.
David, totally with you on the swearing- when you have such passionate feelings and you want to express them, sometimes cursing is the best way to get them out
I have been told that no penis has a conscience…PUA Penis Up at Attention…The soldier that stands at attention when pussy goes by.
Sandra
Now that is a funny way to call PUA
Good one!!
A story of mine:
I was at a department store one day and I was talking to my female friend when this guy was standing there looking like he was interested in what he saw he looked me up and down like I was some kind of slut. I looked over to my female friend and asked do I have slut written on me somewhere some guys think I am a slut puppy…I asked the dude did you miss out on your discount on Dickerson Road (that is the red light territory for hookers in Nashville) and decided to pick up on in Wal Mart. He apologized and I said you get down the aisle and never look back….He left thank God…
Awhile back I was listening to something that David gives out on his free podcast and it said because one guy comes up to you and starts talking does not mean he is the bad guy (don’t remember word for word) but there might be someone that is interested in talking to you…now the guy that wants to say hi thinks hell if I go up to her she may say the same thing to me. The reason why I say this is because when I did this to this one guy…The guy I was interested in was watching and listening and looked concerned by what my female friend told me…But later on me and this guy did speak not the one I sent down the aisle but the one that was standing there that I was interested in.
leonard–great statement and realization! It is so true about being happy within yourself before you can really “give” to others. And that also pertains to speaking from the heart. It’s difficult to speak from the heart when you are unhappy…you won’t be focused on anyone else! Women (and men) can always sniff out insincerity.
Hey David,
Thanks for the interview today. That is truth, I absolutely agree with you. Women can feel if your genuine about something or someone. If you speak from the heart people feel that. I don’t understand why men continue to rely on routines and methods and when naturally they can just be that guy who connects with people. It’s a shame why men can be so disconnected with what is going on at the moment. Mad respect for what you do and your passion for teaching men as well as women.
Rey
“penis up at attention” that is what i am talking about Sandra LOL
This is a great challenge for myself, because I approach women, most of them with the little big guy in mind. Speaking from my heart is something I will have to learn. And yes women can sense in my approach that I am just wanting to come over and open them so my encounters are so-so. Thanks Dave and I shall improve on this.
PUA – penis up ass
Kinda true, alot of these arrogant robots that call themselves PUA’s just have their penis way too far up their own asses.
Man I though it was funny as all hell when you told that person that complained about your swearing on your podcasts to fuck off. People don’t realize that they are getting such great wisdom for free.
David, your emotion resonates through everything you do. And that is really what women are attracted to.
Hey David,
once again thanks fo good podcast. I’ve seen a lot of different things about luck and hapiness. And all speak from exactly same thing if you look from a big perspective. And so do you. It’s our positive energy that attracts people.
Thanks again for reminding us of good things
another nice podcast david
thanks !
I’ll have a listen to the podcast later. But anyway David, this post is great! As always, you address the many problems we have in approaching women. Plus, it’s free!
I believe this is what I have to learn more as well. I sometimes think with my dick. Maybe that’s why in one of those bonuses with your Men’s Mastery Series, it was titled “Don’t Think With Your Dick”. Makes perfect sense. But as always, balance where you think. Just not so much down there.
This is exactly why conventional GAME doesn’t work when it comes to keeping a girl and having a genuine relationship with her… Ever wondered why most PUA’s are single?
Whenever a PUA says something like “Hey i’m awesome with women, i can get any girl i want”
Be cautioned, because the fact is, none of us are attractive to every person we meet because not everyone is right for eachother. So the only way it’s possible is if some form of manipulation and trickery is involved in order to get her, and this is how GAME came about…
In order to know if she’s right for you, talk from your heart by being honest and genuine. If she likes you, then great… You have yourself a potential companion….
If not, then thats fine. you’ve just got yourself an awesome female friend. A lot of guys think having females as friends is taboo, but it really isn’t. This is one of the things that i think is crucial to a person’s development when it comes to dating as in order to learn more about women, you need to have them in your life…
Never talk to people with the intention of getting something back. Always be honest and give value. You’ll soon start to find that the things you get back from them will be ten fold…
this is the key to becoming truly attractive to people in general, not just the opposite sex…
that is a great poinst order i liked what you had to share!
question: did you ever try the pua stuff?
Wow i love reading it, never read anything as deep, this is something i have to work on more by each day.
Another one of my fav. DW podcast is Don’t be a slave to your dick LOL
I remember times in the past that I complimented a woman about her phone, she didn’t respond that well i guess because i was really thinking with my penis.
Good thing is now days it’s different I am more aware of things, and speak from my heart. Everyone should learn this skill!
Thank you Coach Kimberly for the reply!
I love these podcast! Thanks for the value.
Hey Jimmi,
That’s how i found out about the community
How i realised the truth was ironically through an ex girlfriend when i used GAME in order to attract her. Then once i started falling for her properly, i reverted back to my real genuine self only for her to mistake it for something else. Eventually she lost trust in me and felt that i wasn’t being myself (which i wasn’t)
Then i went back to the drawing board and started from scratch. The results i got was amazing! i developed denuine attraction from all the people i approached… i went full circle… It was then that i realised that the time i spent learning materials was a waste of time and that who i was before i got into it was all i needed. Except i didn’t realise at teh time
GAME is good in that it helps you learn who you are Once you do, there’s no need to use it anymore as your true self will always prevail over canned routines.
Hi Julia,
Ken is here for you right now!
I found your PUA story really funny! Next time, you should definitely tell him… to come see us. We’ll help him.
Honestly, this is why I like the most about working with David. He always challenges us to be more real, to speak more from the heart and this is something I’ve consistently try to implement more and more in my life.
When you speak and act from your heart, you own your actions and you become a more powerful individual… which in turns, is attractive.
Another great Share Onder,
It just proves some very simple rules of life that always seem to work in everything. Be true to yourself and never lie or manipulate others it will always come to haunt you at some point.
What if your heart is filled with anger and frustration?
Clark
Have you listened to my self love audio that is part of my whats your excuse program?
the answer lies in there
Hey David Hows it goin? I really love your stuff. David Deangelo led me to you. I watched the David Deangelo Man transformation. You were the one I was most impressed with. Keep up the good work. Pod cast wed rules
Onder
I agree with you at least when they want to be your friend who knows that may turn into something better…
Talk about pua guys how about women using manipulation and charm to get what they want? Then tell the guy later to buzz off.
Women, use manipulation and charm to get what they want? NNNaaaahhh, does that really happen?…hhmmmhhh….I walked by a personnel office recently, salivating, after seeing women, waiting for a office/leadership position, job interview, most with push-up bras, some showing cleavage. Now, is that being charming or manipulative?..Maybe control…..hhmmh. LOL!…
Wow David,
that was a great podcast, and im glad i listened to it. I have never been good at speaking with my head no matter how much i try, so i never even try to anymore. I always speak from my heart, but have been sort of afraid to do so when i do, but after listening to this it took that fear completely away.
Thanks
great post. totally agreed about the effectiveness of this. on top of that it’s fun to talk to people about whatever you’re thinking about. it’s the absolute best way to get to know people.