So You Say You’re Good In Bed
January 3, 2008 
109 Comments
So You Say You’re Good In Bed
By David Wygant
Everybody says they are good in bed. I’ve never met anyone who has said to me “You know David, I am really bad in bed!” Everybody thinks they are a fantastic lover.
Let’s talk about this, because you know I have an opinion. I’ve been with some really shitty lovers. I’ve been with some women that were so bad in bed, that I wouldn’t even recommend them to my young virgin client of mine.
The truth is, though, that what makes someone bad or good in bed is very subjective. For instance, a woman I slept with a LONG time ago I thought was extremely boring in bed. My friend didn’t think so . . . and he ended up marrying her.
We all have different desires and different ways we like to have sex. I’ve been with some women with whom I just don’t feel like I’m the best I can be. Hmmm . . . Now that the Kay’s Jewelers song is out, can I start singing the Army song “Be All That You Can Be?”
It really comes down to chemistry. If you don’t have chemistry with somebody, you will not be a good lover with them. You might just be mediocre.
There are times when I am so good in bed that I want to give myself an Oscar. I am sure you’ve all had those moments when you just know you have brought your “A” game to the sheets that night. Then there are other times and circumstances when you were just not your most dynamic, acrobatic, Cirque du Soleil self . . . and that’s okay.
Being good in bed is really subjective. Now I think all of us can improve and become better lovers. There’s always another position to learn. There’s always another way you can learn to kiss. There’s always a new way you can learn to use your fingers and tongue.
For the women, there are always new things you can learn to do to men to please them. Some men love getting head, and some don’t. Some men can last for hours, while others are “minute men” because they heard the Redcoats are coming.
We are all different. We’re all really different lovers. In order to find out what type of lover will be great for you, you need to figure out the type of lover you are.
• What do you enjoy?
• What do you like when you’re in bed with someone?
• What is a must for you to have in a relationship?
• What do you do if you’re dating a woman who is phenomenal in bed but doesn’t like when you go down on her, and that’s your favorite thing to do?
• What if you like to have sex in the morning and she doesn’t?
• What if about the kinkiest thing the woman you’re with will do is masturbate in front of you, while you are extremely kinky and like to have sex in your car while stuck in traffic on the 405?
I’m sure all of us are pretty good lovers with the right person. Now that we’re already talking about this, though, let’s dig even deeper.
I’ve written before about when it is the right time to have sex. For some of you, as long as the other person is breathing it is the right time to have sex. Other people like to wait until they get to know someone for a month before they will have sex.
As for me personally, I have sex when it feels right. That could mean having sex on the first date, having sex on the tenth date, or it could mean having sex in the first five minutes. I promise you that if it’s in the first five minutes, I won’t be performing like the Redcoats are coming.
I like to have sex for a long time. All night long is my favorite. As a matter of fact, Lionel Richie wrote a song called “All Night Long” . . . and I can play it for a woman all night long.
The bottom line is this: Define yourself as a lover, and then be honest with the person you’re with about what kind of lover you are. That way, you’ll pick your lovers a lot better in the future.
If you are crazy in bed, you’ll NEVER ever be satisfied with someone who is conservative in bed. This is not to say that people can’t change or learn from each other (which they can), but there are people who are a certain way in bed and they like who they are.
Sometimes people don’t change, and you need to accept that. It’s all about being honest.
So make it your goal in 2008 to be 100% honest sexually. That will be a great New Year’s resolution. No games, no bullshit, and great sex! If you also want to learn what women think about sexually, I suggest picking up my outrageously raw and honest Girls Tell All Audio Series.
Today we dive into the local coffee shop and learn the one secret that will get her to give you the number every time.
Watch this video and she will steam with desire.
o.k david i have to be honest here, i’ve took sex classes, read a million book on the subject, watched movies etc. and i honestly think i’m not that good of a lover. i’m o.k., i think i’m no better then anyone else. but then again i’m kind of modest. all i know is i wont stop pleasing her until she cums, because when i’m with a women thats all that matter to me, well that and getting/giving good head lol
cheers,
Joe
Hypothetically …….
Say, in my efforts to find a Steady-Eddie, I’ve already dated a small herd of men. It’s been a whole bunch of fun, however, I’d like to settle into something somewhat serious, (at least serious enough to have fun with each other’s naughty bits). I’ve eliminated those who seem immediately ill-fitting and narrowed things down to 3 or 4 contenders. Now it’s time to choose a lover.
I’d like to be physically intimate with ONE of them rather than taking all four for a test-drive. Other than sexy flitations, making-out on the hood of the car, and other obvious indicators, what are your ideas about discovering sexual compatibility during the exploritory period? Does too much pre-coitus discussion ruin the romance?
Chemistry, acceptance and trust is a solid foundation for so good loving.
David, I love this blog!!
I have just one thing to add since I think it likely describes me. While I agree with you that I would probably never be the kind of person who is sexually compatible with someone who enjoys an orgie with three people while swinging on a trapeze … I also know that with the right partner there are a LOT of more sexually adventurous things that I would love to try.
As someone who in the past would probably have been characterized as more sexually conservative, let me suggest that if you find someone with whom you share this great sexual chemistry that David describes, take the time to explore that other’s persons sexuality and see what kind of person they are sexually WITH YOU …. cause you never know what that right sexual chemistry might bring out in them …
Hmmmm I have never said I am good in bed…but I do know that I am fantastic in bed!
There are just things that you know that you know…that you know….you know?? lol
I am a very passionate person and when in the throws of sensuous sexual avtivities, i believe in holding nothing back. Really, I am passionate in everything in life:)
Personally, I am very verbal from start to finish. I love to whisper in the mans ear what my desires in pleasing him are in a very sexual seductive breathy tone, and in acceleration of intensity comes more intense verbal sharing.
The things I say would make my grandma grab her bar of lye soap to wash my mouth out with, and make me put 2 dimes instead of one in my “Bible cuss bank.” LOL
I am a lady in public, but behind closed doors..(or wherever the passion takes place) I become a very sexually nasty girl.
That makes me in turn VERY verbally excited as well as puts the body in motion.
I love hearing a mans pleasure through his verbal responses of “oh baby,” moaning groaning and whimpering, and I more love the process of getting him to that point
Every position is a good position in my book, and I love to flip around for variety. Me on top? Yeee Haw!!!!!! Ehemmmm I love to make a man so excited his body can’t help but move, eventually stiffening then releasing into a convulsive state of pleasure beyond description. Hearing his pleasure moans causes excitement in me verbally and all other ways as well, so its allllll good.
I think the verbal response when you are sexually turned on just heightens every sensation. Really, if you are turned on…how can you hold back your moans and groans??
Honestly, I think I am a bit of a wild woman in bed, in a very gentle, tender and passionate way…if that makes sense.
I think there are men who would freak out or pass out…lol
I think there are the types of conservative men that would be terrified, until they relaxed and let sensations take over.
It is interesting the differences in peoples preferences as far as bedroom etiquette are concerned.
If I were to give one piece of advice concerning being intimate with another—-make sure there is an eyesmoldering attraction when you think of being in bed with that person….when you think of kissing them!
If your eyes get a little heavy with that smoldering feeling, and warm flushes rush through your body; goosebumps running up and down your spine occuring at the thought…Mmmmm how good is the love making going to feel?? OUT OF THIS WORLD!!!!!!!!!!
“..It really comes down to chemistry. If you don
wow joan you crazy gal kinky gal lol what have you been, looks like you’ve been doing well.
cheers,
Joe
Good afternoon all,
Wow, I must say I find myself very interested in this blog, mainly because I’ll never defined myself as a lover. To be honest, I’ve gone out of my way to avoid sexual relationships.
My brother jokes with me that I’ll be 30 on April 21, and I’m well on my way to giving Steve Carell a run for the money. I have counted on one hand the number of relationships I have had with women, and none of them ever went past a first kiss. It really scares me that someday I may be in a relationship and some woman will say “Don’t you want to do something more than kiss me?”
Although I will say I have my moments of sexual fantasy. I used to work part-time at a catering hall and there was this gorgeous bridal attendant I used to work with. To borrow a line from the now-defunct band LFO, “She was the girl on TV.” I wanted to bring her back to the catering office, undress and get her out of tuxedo, and then just kissing her up and down and all over and then just let whatever happen develop. Some people have kinky fantasies. That’s OK. Some people like role reversal in the bedroom. To sample David’s comment about having sex on the I-405, I could make a statement that it might be kinky for a girl to have her hands down your pants while sitting in traffic on the Capital Beltway around Washington, DC. Who says driving in the nation’s capital has to be boring?
Oh, and to answer David’s question from a previous blog, yes, I did major in journalism and I graduated magna cum laude. It’s too bad there’s no money in it, though. LOL.
Look forward to hearing more comments, and as always, the pleasure was all mine.
-SK.
Hello buddies,
Everyday,i look forwad to checking out this blog. I always learn something new. Great comments Joe, Amanda & Jim. David-ur in your own class..U know that..
Everyone whether female or male wants to feel and be told that ur great in bed (even if its a lie!). One of the most humbling txts i have ever recieved was when i broke up with my ex: She said, i wont miss u much but will miss the great sex we had. If u dont mind, we can always have it casually with no strings attached!!
Wel, i have been on the sexual bench for 3 years now by choice. I made up my mind to keep my zip up till the wedding nite. Any demerits in this? What if u get married to this queen & u find out on the wedding nite that she is the most boring sexual creature on this planet! Any ways of detecting sexual greatness without test-driving?
Joe;
LOL You are funny. I am just being truthful. I guess I should feel a bit embarrased for such a sultry AND looooong post, but ummmm wellll errrrrr….I don’t lol.
Is that really that kinky? I just think that being sexually verbal is a big turn on. Even when you are giving a man oral pleasure, just a moan of pleasure can send sensations through his body, and the reason FOR the moaning and groaning is that I am turned on myself in the happening of the moment.
Ehemmm, ok my my my! lol Its getting hot in here!
Joan,
U seem to be quite naughty and nice gal…lol,lol..Keep it up…Dirty gals excite alot!!
Steven: Congs on the Magna Cum Laude. I enjoy reading your posts but u kind of sound low always. When the right tym comes, i am sure u wil go beyond the kiss. By then u will amassed alot of experience from this blog and books and waaw…..U wil be a star…
There’s a lot of food for thought here today. I’m almost not sure where to start.
Sex on the 405 in traffic, well, I’m not so sure I would call it kinky, dangerous yes, but kinky? I don’t know.
I like that 100% honesty deal.
So that being said here’s my dose.
Just because there is chemistry there doesn’t mean that I want anything more than a friendship from you. I like the New Man smell, a lot. If I decide to sleep with you, you should be reciprocal. That means I would prefer for you to show me how much you love oral and not just tell me about it. Oh, and I think that if you’re very good at something, you won’t have to tell me that you are, I will tell you.
I think we were talking about being good in bed……but being good in the car is also very funny.
Never been much of a car sex kind of guy.
Though i did have this ex that would find it very erotic to masturbate while i drove.
She was lets say very entertaining.
Steven
Email me
I want to ask you something
David – I’ve been reading these blogs for some time and have really enjoyed the content. Great questions on this topic. Thank you for your insights, humor and playfulness!
I’ve also enjoyed all the comments, you all are wonderful!
Joan & Bertie- you are such an inspiration for being comfortable in your skin and embracing your sexuality without shame or apology, well done!
Lou bega – Good for you! I’ve benched myself as well for some time now. I know what sex is all about, but can’t say that I’ve ever truly made love so I’m kinda waiting for a deeper connection this time around. I think you can tell volumes about a person’s sexuality without doing the deed. David’s encouragement for us to be honest about our sexuality is great advice. Talk about it openly and listen carefully, you’ll learn what you need to know. Time together will tell you how responsive she is.
Steven – My sis is 28 and like Drew Barrymore in that movie, she has never been kissed. There’s nothing wrong with her – she’s beautiful, intelligent, and fun to be with. She is just painfully shy and can’t seem to make it past a first date. I’ve tried so hard to talk to her about it wanting so much to help if I can, but at the very least trying to understand where shes’ coming from. She shies away from any discussion about it. Are you shy as well or is it something else?
As for me, I’ve enjoyed great sex with lovers of varying degrees of skill. It’s not always the “game” they bring, sometimes enthusiasm, determination or just a great sense of humor can make up for an unpolished technique or a premature ending!
Because it is all subjective to individual style and preference, I’ve learned my own style and trust my instincts to find the right chemistry. I’ve learned just to listen, not only to words but to body language and be as responsive as I can to whom I’m with. No rules, no series of moves to follow just paying attention and enjoying the journey of knowing a man intimately and letting each experience evolve on it’s own and letting the experience of him dictate the play.
1st comment and I carry on forever….sorry! Have a great night everyone!
Steven;
In reading your post, I read your fantasy there, and just in reading that, I think you have everything it takes to be a magnificant lover!
That is not a kinky fantasy at all…well not to me. That is very hot to tell the truth! It is spontanious and daring, and very sexy.
The fact that you haven’t been in a relationship yet is nothing to feel any shame or negativity about.
Who is one to judge you but you yourself? Maybe you have a certain woman you are seeking and are not willing to just settle just for sex sake?
That is more than admireable…especially in a man if that be the case.
I have a feeling when you do collide with someone you have real chemistry with, and let yourself relax and be you….a kiss will turn to pure bliss for you and the woman you are embracing.
Don’t let your age or anyones negative comments dictate how you feel inside. From what I read in you, you are very intelligent, and have a mind for many pleasurable moments.
Believe you are a wonderful lover, be confident in you and don’t avoid women at any cost..:) Meet and greet as many women as you possibly can. Its a great way to start something good. I wish you every bit of positivity in your future fantasies come true. 
Feelings or chemistry, whatever you want to call it, are the key. Girls ive been with that I wasn’t really all that in to, even though they were gorgeous and crazy in the bedroom, the sex was just ok. Good but not great. Whearas when I’m really into someone, just simple touching can be amazing.
Also I think there is no such thing as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ in bed. Only compatable or not compatable.
Hi Joan and good evening to you,
Wow, thanks for your compliments and insights! I’m really flattered and completely blown away by what you said, including the comments on the sexual fantasy. We have all kinky desires and I bet I haven’t even seen and heard close to what is out there in people’s naughty little minds.
And by the way, are you volunteering to be a participant? Haha, just kidding, although I wonder if there could be a convention of David Wygant’s followers somewhere lol.
-SK.
Hi David,
I will send you an email from my Yahoo! address. I will put “Greetings from Steven Kaufman” in the subject, so you will know it’s me and not some spam, which no one enjoys, and getting spam will put you on someone’s “s— list” haha.
-SK.
Amy;
Hi, and welcome to the community of Wygant and friends
I thank you as I am sure Bertie will come in as well and thank you for the compliment….I am humbled and feel more comfortable than ever now to speak it as it is. Sometimes I will say things, then read them later and think, “OMG, what the heck was I thinking??” because it is a bit..or a lot on the naughtier side of the spectrum.
“1st comment and I carry on forever
Fred
With age you can go all night long but you dont have that same multiple feeling that you had as a young lad.
When I was 18 to 24 i was a stallion…….I could have sex all night long mu;tiple times.
Now it is more of a slow appreciation of the womens body.
I actually prefer sex now….its like fine wine gets better with age.
Also now it is so much more emotional than it was in the past.
Sam
Very true either you are compatable with your lover or your not.
Sometimes two bodies do not fit well together. I have been with a woman recently who i felt was made for my body.
One of those soul to soul connections that you really need as a person.
To be able to connect like that is a gift and it is something that we as humans need.
But sometimes that is not enough to keep it going and other things come into play.
We all can give what we can give to each other.
I am around in the mood to chat all night so come on and play with me.
Lou
Wow that was some confession. You are going to keep it zipped till your wedding night.
That is an amazing act of self control my friend.
What event in your life lead you to that?
I always say when you are going to buy a car you better test drive.
Couples break up for many reasons but number one and two on the list is sex and money.
You may need to rethink this my friend.
Fred
How old are you now?
I am guessing around my age?
Hey All
Happy new year!!!
Or Horny New Year….he he he
I am all about connecting in many ways but being a true scorpio i just love sex.
Yes i will agree it is much better when you can connect with someone on a deep level but sometimes i just need to cum really hard.
I know i am good in bed every man and woman that i slept with have asked for more…so for me it has all levels and i always wanted to be an amazing lover.
David your womens mastery series taught me a thing or 2 about how to please a man but i will confess the sound of your voice makes me so hot.
I have masturbated to your sexual part of the series many times and each time i can picture me doing all those amazing things to you.
The way you describe how to turn a man on is so damm hot.
When are you coming my way.
One last thing. Do not make me beg David
Fred
61, it is never too late to get those hips grinding again.
I am half your age and i have slept with a lot of men over the age of 50. I like a mature man for several reasons.
They know how to orally please me, unlike the young guys that just want to fuck me and thats it.
So use that lifetime of skills to your advantage. It is a turn on to us ladies and not only that your minds are what turns us on.
It is the wisdom that i can learn from the older guys that gets me so damm hot.
So Fred go get yourself a lover.
Fred
If it has been that long you need to do something about it.
Why have you been on the sidelines?
Fred
Aires are fun. Do you know your rising sign? I am a double scorpio
Fred
You have not become a chronic masturbator have you?
Fred
Good thing that you can still rise. I have found most men have no problem rising when i am with them.
Look i masturbate every night i have a great collection of toys that i can use. I have one that curves directly onto my G spot and vibrates like crazy, at the same time i enjoy my bullet vibrator on my clit.
I can have orgasms from both my g spot and clit but as good as this all feels, i need the warmth and connection of another person.
Do you get lonely?
So you can still pop a tent. Good man and as David says its what you do with that morning boner that is all the fun and rage:)
What makes you stay in the area that you live?
Do you live near Bigfoot….he he he
Fred
What about friends? Kids in the area, Yes i am prying but i am curious
I am most likely to be a great lover when I am comfortable and am 100% sure about what I’m doing. I’m most likely to be pretty bad when I feel conflicted about whether or not I really want to do the deed and then I do just to get him to stop bothering me. Those moments are in fact, when I am the worst in bed, and I stopped doing that 5 years ago.
Sex and money problems are usually a reflection of a relationship/communication problem. Which is not to say there is no such thing as sexually incompatible, there certainly is. I’m referring more to in the middle of the relationship when the sex doesn’t seem to sizzle as much as it did at the beginning.
So David, what’s the number one reason you’ve found that a girl doesn’t like a guy to go down on her?
Fred
I always knew I would find Bigfoot
Fred
You need to get a lover. Too many years on the sidelines my friend, we need to get you back out there!!!
L
I have to tell you something. I have found that they women that dont can not enjoy oral sex tend to have some major control issues.
Some just want to have sex, i will get busy down below and get them all hot and bothered and they will beg me to make love to them.
They enjoy the intercourse more than the oral part.
It all depends on the women.
David
Glad you agree re the connection thing. I find it makes it so much more intense, and I love the feeling of being able to please someone that I value highly. But, what ‘other things’ that come into play are you referring to?? Sounds interesting
L
“I do the deed and then I do just to get him to stop bothering me.”
Lol, nobody wants to be this guy! Sounds like he needs some Wygant Knowledge!
Sam
The other things i am talking about is someones lifestyle and how they conduct themselves.
I have spent a lot of time on who i am as a person and very proud of how i turned out.It took a lot of work and energy to be who i am
My ex is an amazing woman that i still love and respect…sorry Horny Lisa i do not mean to make you jealous but…
Alison is still a huge part of my life best friends and so much more. I am not really sure if i want to be with one person for the rest of my life and that is the one of the reasons why we are not together today.
As she always says she gets the best of both worlds…she gets to hang with me and not have to live or sleep with me.
As for what i respect and need in a woman. Someone who respect themselves and really takes the time to work on being a better person.
Did this answer your question.
Also i am a bit of a workaholic…i took a week off and really did not know what to do with myself at times.
I have been working since 8 this morning and i am really enjoying today.
Fred
I have been with a lot of women that would not perform oral sex…..but that was along time ago.
Since i learned that i am a powerful man i have not had any women refuse the chance to go down on me,
Its all about being a powerful man…woman love to make a strong man fall to his knees.
When I was in my 20s i used to beg for head.
Now i cant stop them:)
Horny Lisa
You are so dam naughty,
I love that you masturbate to my mastery series. Maybe i should have named it my masturbation series for you!!!
My sentiments exactly. The best girls ive ever been with have had drive and ambition, whether its professional or personal. Its a very attractive quality. I guess at the end of the day everyone is attracted to success and a winning attitude.
You are very lucky to be able to have your ex as a friend. Thats one of the hardest things about breaking up with someone, not only do you lose them as a lover but most times they disappear from your life altogether. It a highly traumatic thing to go through as Im sure you’re aware, to have the centrepoint ripped from your life. For one ex in particular, I could never be friends with her. I just wouldn’t be able to remain at ‘friend’ level, too painful. I hate how even strangers on the street usually rate higher to your ex than you do, like how can things go so wrong between two people that were once SO close, i’ll never get used to it. When I go out to the shopping centre or other public places I get nervous that i’ll see her. When I do I just lose it, can’t keep composure. Ruins my whole day/week. Ahh I’m rambling. Anyway the point is good onya for not burning the bridge!
Sam
That is tough and something that a lot of us go through all the time.
Its funny but Alison and I have this bond that is so strong. I actually enjoy taking care of her more now than when we were together,
Nothing made me more happy than to spoil her with some great Christmas gifts, We went to this really cool store christmas eve day around 5 when everything was quiet and bought some great artwork.
When we were together we would always celebrate christmas in europe and buy each other gifts when we were over there.
So this felt a lot like that.
Its me not her…..and I know that,
As for other women, there have been several over the last year but none that i respected as much as her.
The rest are great women and the sex as we talked about was amazing but i needed more than just rocking great sex.
I need that woman that i can look at and respect for all her choices in life.
Its funny when i was in my 20s it was all about great sex, now i need it all and the sex no matter how great it is can be walked away from it they dont have the depth that i need.
So true, and even though it seems a harder task now that you feel as though you need more than just great sex, would you have it any other way? My guess is no. Its a bitter sweet pill because on the one hand you can’t be satisfied by just any girl that comes along, but by the same token your persistence will reward you in the end by finding a more fullfilling relationship.
Hey maybe you and Alison aren’t right for each other right now, but in the future things might be different? People are in your life for a reason but its not always immediately obvious why.
Anyway, its been great chatting but I gotta go swimming, its stinking hot here, 40c (i don’t know what that is in farenheit but its bloody hot)
Chow everybody!:)
Sam
Great chatting with you as well.
Are you in Australia?
And yes you are right ALison and I may end up together in the long run but for now i will continue to have some fun
Congrats Fred for having that power to be able to walk away and take control of the kids.
Your a good man
This is why i love what i do.
Being able to share things with all of you. Life is all about being open to what can happen. Sometimes we find what we want and it scares the hell out of us and we run for the hills/
No one is perfect and most of us make mistakes.
So once again another post that went in a new direction tomorrow will bring what?
Who knows
I am writing tomorrows blog right now and it is going to blow everyone away.
I am on a roll right now and i so want to post it right now but you will all just have to wait.
I just got some really interesting ideas rolling around in my head.
Anyone think that sex and love can happen in an instant?
What does everyone feel about soulmates?
Tomorrow will be a whole new blog
Hi,all.
David, I used to be able to ‘go’ all night too, maybe I still can, have’nt tried for several years!
Whoah, I sometimes feel like a voyeur reading this blog!
David,
I definitely agree, for me, passion and emotion are very important, above, the actual ‘act’!
Lou,
I agree with David on this one. You need to get out more!
David,
I’ll be 61 this year, a ‘true boomer’! Also, have’nt been ‘with’ a woman since my late 50′s. You think it’s too late?
Maybe, it was my middle 50′s, can’t remember exactly!
Hey Lisa, I’m an aries. We’re supposed to be able to set the bed on fire!!
Lisa,
Not enough hot women where I am so I enjoy myself too much sometime!
Lisa,
I can ‘rise’ anytime, even at my age, no ed here!
Habitual not chronic!
Sometimes, I even awaken in the ‘canopy’!
EEEEawhhh!
Sometimes, I’m lonely, but I still have, me myself and I!
Since I sleep alone in a twin bed, at this time of year all I have to do is get my feet on the cold floor, that generaly takes care of ‘it’!
I amm Bigfoot!! I love the woods!!
I’ve got a teen Bigfoot at home, but he is generally running wild someplace.
David, yeah I hear ya, but I’m stuck in the mire up to my ass!
…”Its all about being a powerful man
I think dangerously, that if a woman does not want a man to go down on her, is because she does’nt want to go down on him.
Amy,
Thank you so much for your kind words. I thank age for at least half of that mind set. The rest I’ve stumbled upon while recovering from a rather painful divorce. Sorry I didn’t show up earlier, but David gave me a lot of homework….
David,
How wonderful that you two are still best of friends. It would be very nice if Ron and I were that way. He was a fine navigator. Not likely to happen though. The new wife always comes with him when he picks up the boys or has any reason to be in my vicinity. For soulmates, it just seems weird and sad, but that is not my problem. Finding a navigator who has no problem with a change in the route is.
Everyone,
So when you say deep connection what do you mean? For me, the intellectual challenge is paramount. Its terribly difficult to find a man who loves books, appreciates a secondary education, and has varied interests. I’ve found one that will hike with me, but off roading, fishing and target shooting are going to take some convincing. He is quite awesome though, when we don’t agree, we can still find some common ground without the battle field I experienced during marriage.
Bertie;
I think a “deep connection” has different meaning for each individual, you know?
Sharing common interests to the dotted i and the crossed t…. I think is a rarity, but the way I feel these days….. I surely believe it is a reality and does happen… with all my heart….without a doubt in my mind!
I think if you have someone you can share things with and feel happy being with that person, then there is always room for growth. Time will tell all, and in the meantime…I would say enjoy yourself girl:)
Life brings amazing people across our paths when we are expecting nothing in the least to happen as such. Absolutely mind boggleing at times.
Hey—-way off thread—but has anyone heard the newest Beatles CD release? It is absolutely absolute!! That is why I am up..LOL I have 2 more songs and I am out—-well I am working while listening too
(and here playing around)
David,
My second wife abused me and our kids. It took me till our oldest was 16, youngest 8, to escape. The court system sucks as far as men are concerned. It took the court 3 years to realize what was really going on. I finally got custody of our son in ’04.
He and I have been ‘batching’ it since. He’ll be 15 this year. So you can understand I might be a little ‘gun shy’, as far as another woman is concerned. I’m open, not in any big hurry!
Hello everyone,
I have enjoyed this blog so much..It has made me laugh so much. Great postings.
Horny Lisa: U sound so naughty & nice. Every man or woman u make love to always begs for some more!!Waaw, u must be a 4 star general in bed. David shouldnt make u beg!!
Fred B & David: I am 30 yrs old and been in 2 relationships with 2 special ladies i loved & adored so much. The first one lasted for 3 years and ended soon after college coz we failed to agree as to when to walk down the aisle. Much as i loved her, i didnt want to start a family so soon. The second one ended coz of distance. I needed 10 hrs non-stop flight to reach her. We painfully agreed to freeze it.
Like most people have said, its not all about sex but rather a deer connection. God made me in HIS IMAGE and i feel that my BODY IS THE TEMPLE OF GOD. I go out and meet amazing ladies. I did meet one on Newyears eve but i enjoy preserving my body, i am sure it pleases my God.
David,
Thanks for the kind words. Even an older guy like me can learn!
The midnight sun calls, I have to go push some snow!
Lou Bega;
“God made me in HIS IMAGE and i feel that my BODY IS THE TEMPLE OF GOD. I go out and meet amazing ladies. I did meet one on Newyears eve but i enjoy preserving my body, i am sure it pleases my God.”
This popped up just as I was headed for bed…finally.
I would just like to say…wow:) Very bold statement of faith not to debated.
I appreciate this very much Lou Bega…and yes…I am sure you have pleased God in more ways than one.
Hey Joan,
Thanks for the complimets..I did ask u a question on yesterdays blog, i will pop it up til i get an answer!!U seem to be in the excited state intellectually churning out great & greater advice each day. U seem to have lots of knowledge & opinions. Should we forwad to Joan
I’m late to this “discussion”, but for whatever its worth I feel I should relay the following story to those men who have had little sexual experience with women, or who have decided to wait until marriage to engage in sex.
I have two friends. The guy I met when I was engaged as he was my ex-fiance’s roommate. The girl I never knew until she became part of his life. Without going into too much detail about their past, lets just say that they both had had mediocre or rather unpleasant prior sexual experiences before meeting. They had decided that they were going to wait until they married to have sex. They have been married for 5-6 years now and are very much in love and happy. What they both have told me is that chosing NOT to have sex prior to marriage forced them to become bonded in other ways and in other areas. Their judgements on each other were not clouded by the physical intimacy that sex can produce. When they did finally have it, it was much more meaningful, and much more bonding.
As far is it being a gamble….they said that they knew and felt the sexual chemistry with each other and just “knew” that they would “match” physically. And I have to say that the guys that I have been with who were good were ones I “knew” would be and the ones that weren’t….I had my doubts from the onset.
Perhaps you might think this story is a one in a million recount, but it did occur, and for me, it happened right in front of my face. So, it CAN work and for those guys who are concerned about lack of experience……look at it this way…you only wanna be with one person, right? You then have a lifetime to perfect yourself with that ONE person..and vice versa.
Bria
Hey Bria dear,
Nice words of wisdom..Sometimes when i tell my friends that i am abstaining out of choice, they find it hard to believe.They cant imagine missing out on the excitement. I have had sex before–and yes-it was good but whaat about..Let me preserve myself till wedding nite & then i
Lou
Much respect for you!!!!
Thanks for sharing
Joan
You are a human sex machine my dear. Horny lisa would be proud!!
Bertie
Thats the writing that i want to see from you.
Fred
How was the snow at midnight?
Bria
I enjoy your writing very much. You are a great addition to the blog
David,
Pls open a can of whup-ass if I’m intruding… but first Foxy Blonde posts a blog about guys not commiting, then you post one about liking your ex-G a lot, but not commiting. Almost makes it sound like Foxy Blonde is your ex.
BTW, thanks for sharing. This blog is getting to be addicting.
Time to post a very fun friday blog
J Dude
Now you can see why foxy and i are such good friends.
Know thy self and life will be so much easier.
Commitment is not for everyone and sometimes time alone to grow is essential for the soul.
Lou bega;
I am sorry. I didn’t see your posed question on yesterdays blog or I would have answered the question.
Thank you, and I am humbled by your confidence in me as an advisor for…well for anything. I really love to help people, and sometimes feel that is why I was placed on this earth, but I like to help without giving advice or opinion. I think in a more suggestive manner, and try to project things in that fashion. In doing this, I feel a little more helpful and a lot less…mmmm…bossy/know it all?
I am knowledgeable, but by no means a perfected scholar to ever think I have all the answers onany one subject.
A blog hosted by mua? Hmmmm lol well I have a book churning within me…a blog? Who knows what 2008 has in store for me…maybe a blog? That is something I will give some consideration to Lou b.
If I may ask, where are you from? I detect and accent in your writing, but cannot place what I am “hearing.”
Have a very nice day and again, thank you. I appreciate your vote of confidence.
Lou bega;
I am sorry. I didn’t see your posed question on yesterdays blog or I would have answered the question.
Thank you, and I am humbled by your confidence in me as an advisor for…well for anything. I really love to help people, and sometimes feel that is why I was placed on this earth, but I like to help without giving advice or opinion. I think in a more suggestive manner, and try to project things in that fashion. In doing this, I feel a little more helpful and a lot less…mmmm…bossy/know it all?
I am knowledgeable, but by no means a perfected scholar to ever think I have all the answers onany one subject.
A blog hosted by mua? Hmmmm lol well I have a book churning within me…a blog? Who knows what 2008 has in store for me…maybe a blog? That is something I will give some consideration to Lou b.
If I may ask, where are you from? I detect and accent in your writing, but cannot place what I am “hearing.”
Have a very nice day and again, thank you. I appreciate your vote of confidence.
Back to work with me—-TGIF 
Haaaaaaaaaa Ok well if you like my comments….there I am in duplicate.
How it happened?? I haven’t the answer for that one.
David,
Horny Lisa requested u not to make her beg much. U probably know what she is capable of doing. Pliz go thru her post again, i laughed loudly while reading it..If i remember clearly, she wd have floored u on newyears eve if she were in L.A and now with her latest confession..lol, lol, lol…Come on Coach, say something (Just passing tym as i wait for the new blog).
Lou
I like to make her beg she needs it and you should see the picture she sent me last night.
Straight out of a victorias secret catalogue.
she is one creative woman.
I may just have to fly her out to LA very soon.
Joan,
I like the way u & other gang members project advice in a suggestive manner..Its interesting..U seem to have alot of advice within u bt maybe u fear posting a long post. I love reading both short & long blogs as long as they r constructive. Its the No.1 reason i am getting addicted to this blog.
I prefer calling myself an international citizen. I was born and raised in a small but beautiful country called Uganda a.k.a Pearl of Africa. I have been lucky to travel widely especially in Africa and the Schengen region. Spent 6months in England, 3 months in Ames (Iowa), 3 months in Boston and 3 years in belgium. I am currently working part-time and studying for my second Masters at Ghent University (Belgium).
David:
I like the way Horny Lisa expresses her wild side.She sounds quite naughty but interesting. Let me keep my ears on the ground.
Horny Lisa does nothing for me, but then I am female…
David – thanks for the “writing” boost.
Carry on folks!
B
I think horny lisa wants everyone
Sam-
Fo sho. There are lots of guys out there that think that pushing or coercing, or taking down a girls last minute resistance to sex will get them sex, and it will sometimes, but it will get them lousy sex. :/
David–
Hmm interesting. For me, as a kid, I’ve always recall hearing and thinking that the vagina is a dirty, disgusting place, why would any sane person want to go there? Thinking of the slang that gets used for it- meat curtains, hairy fish taco, axe wound, snail trail, etc . . . I’ve mostly gotten over that, but I found I’m usually only comfortable receiving oral when that is something the guy loves or a one night stand situation. Which doesn’t mean I don’t like it, I’m just not comfortable otherwise. On the other hand, I love to go down on the guy I’m really into.
Fred–
I can see how that is true in some cases. (A chic doesn’t want him to go down because she doesn’t want to have to reciprocate). ALthough most of the girls I know, even if they don’t like receiving love going down. In my entire life I’ve only known two women who think going down on a guy is gross. They are strange brids indeed.
L
Hatchet wound….Taco with legs…..I can go on and on.
But i love going down on a woman,
The taste….the smell the way she moves on my mouth and the power that i have over her body
I can totally understand how childhood can really mess with you.
But now we are adults and lots of inner work can really reverse the damage of childhood.
All this talk about pussy is making my mind wander….where is horny lisa when you need her:)
Lou bega;
LOL Me fear a long post?? Naaaaaaa Well, you know…I hate to be a “blog hog,” because I surely have written more at times and deleted because I don’t want to put myself, as well as everyboby else, in a state of “writers shock!” That is my opposite of writers block
Beautiful Uganda….very nice. You are very blessed to have traveled as you have. Enjoy, and good to see another face here in the Wygant community.
Whattt I’m late I missed out on all the fun
I LOOVVE it when a woman feels sexy and feminine and beautiful… and radiates and displays it.
I love it even more when I make her feel even more so.
When I know I excite her, that turns me on. When she knows she excites me, that turns her on. Then we can go anywhere.
This is true for me on all levels – pure raw sexuality and innocent chat and fun.
One female friend of mine is absolutely beautiful… but -I- can’t excite her. And that keeps me from connecting with her more deeply. And I KNOW it would be the same sexually. We don’t match. (She’s a good friend though!)
One more thing I NEED is at least SOME release/boldness/openness.
Now I absolutely love helping a wonderful woman release and go totally free and sexual, BUT – when playtime gets hot, if she can’t say “tits” or “cunt” or “fuck” without having me tell her to, that’s too cold for me. The polite thing is NOT for the bedroom.
I love verbal spice, from both me and her. I turns me on like a maniac. Don’t you love it when ONE WORD pushes you over the edge?
I guess I’m the sambal guy.
Amy
Welcome and enjoy! Wonderful timing to join the blog.
David
“I think we were talking about being good in bed
Oh yeah, ladies… please, don’t go saying “nice”.
I’ve heard women complain about men using this word and… yeah.
Now if you make someone go totally hot and crazy… let’s say just before or after orgasm… and you ask them how that feels.
They can say, with the best of intentions, “Very nice..” and you will feel that energy sink.
Or they might call breathlessly, “Fuckk I feel so fucking gooood…” and in turn YOU get turned on like crazy.
Thank you, you’re making the world a better place
Damn I’m feeling energetic today.
Pete – I loved your comment … It was honest and unapologizing about what the kinda gal you connect with sexually (and what you DON’T connect with) stated in a way that tells me you are probably a great guy to have as a friend or romantic partner.
Caroline, thank you for you warm words. I am flattered.
And isn’t it great to be honest sexually!!
David
“Today we dive into the local coffee shop and learn the one secret that will get her to give you the number every time.
Watch this video and she will steam with desire.”
Hang on. Did I miss it? Where is the point?
Wrong video? Lol.
Please enlighten me.
Everyone
I just watched the video and this guy mentioned men being very much visually attracted.
Let’s get off-topic a bit. I’d like to know what you all think.
What’s your experience? Is it all visuals for men?
Let me share two quick stories.
and she kept bugging me for a pic. So I sent her one and she didn’t find me so good looking – haha, not at all, in fact!
Two years back, this girl I was chatting with told me her friend, whom I knew, had said I was “super handsome”. I was honored, of course
Differences in taste put aside, I had been teasing and playing with her friend and having a good time. Did it affect the way she saw me? Oh yes.
Longer ago, I was crazy about a female friend I saw often. She wasn’t particularly beautiful – and beauty DOES attract me – but she looked perfectly okay. I had known her for some time and wasn’t attracted to her earlier. As I started hanging out with her, I became attracted to her because of the way she was, and as a result I FOUND HER PRETTIER. Your view just adapts! And that’s great! For the record, we did nothing. Too bad
So tell us what you think. Are men that much visually attracted?
Pete
Its a good video….just the wrong title:)
This was a great blog by the way…..people really dug deep inside and asked some very powerful questions
David;
“Joan;
You are a human sex machine my dear. Horny lisa would be proud!!”
Thanks David, but gosh….. I would more hope to win the pride of man…lol.
No offense Hory Lisa, but I am a woman who appreciates a man when it comes to sexual intimacy.
Pete;
Ummm thank you for that “energetic” compliment.” lol
I don’t happen to believe all men go on just visual. For the most part, yes…but there are definitely acceptions to that rule society so dictates.
Oh and the word nice? can be nice if you say it niiiiiice enough.
It is all in the whisper or the moan in which it is delivered.
If it is just “said,” yea blah, but if it is meant…TURN ON!!
People need to relax when they are alone, where shadows of their passion are the only other existance. If you cannot express yourself verbally and seductively, I believe in could put a real damper on what could have been an out of this world experience.
Jeez, this blog has suddenly turned into a damn party, with all kinds of great comments and everybody bouncing off of each other. I won’t address all the people individually because it would take me too long to go back and make sure I didn’t miss anyone. However, I did want to respond to Pete’s question because that issue has been on my mind for several months,
Like Pete, I keep hearing about how guys are “visually” oriented, and I resisted that stereotype at first, as I try to resist all stereotypes. But when I really thought about it, I had to admit that visual appeal for me is an important component. Then I tried to figure out what sort of woman I find visually appealing, and it got really murky.
There are so many variables, like height, weight, face, legs, eyes–you name it. I’m coming around to the conclusion that there’s no single “visual” characteristic that I always look for. It could end up being a mix and match. But when I first approach a woman (or more accurately, think about approaching), I always find that it’s because there’s something visual that I could latch onto.
Then, as Pete says, women can absolutely become more attractive as you get to know them and appreciate how their personality and the way they carry themselves is an integral part of their appearance. You see things in them that you could easily have missed in a casual encounter.
So I’m tempted to say that men should be more open-minded about whom they approach, and women should make sure their personality is more apparent. But then on reflection, both sexes could benefit equally from either admonition.
Anyway, I’m loving the range of opinions here. It’s turned into a lively forum.
BobM
There you said it. It works the same for me.
Joan
You have a point! I have yet to experience that one…
“Thanks David, but gosh
Thank you Joan for this beautiful sentence:
“People need to relax when they are alone, where shadows of their passion are the only other existance.”
Monday morning I will finally sign up for that yoga class (one of my new year resolutions) because I am too darn hyper all the time:-)
I think David should offer Joan one spot for these “girl tells all” blog spots, it should be enlightening as are all of her posts.
Dan;
Thank you for your compliments…I appreciate them and am humbled and blessed.
Well, I am blushing
I would love to be a part of Davids “girls tell all” LOL. I think I might be a bit much to handle when I get going full staem a head. LOL
I was told by a fella last year that I was phenominal at oral, but just okay in bed. I didn’t mind his comment, but I was pissed that he couldn’t tell me what I did wrong or what I could have done better.
He missed out I guess because I have some performance elements to me. I was willing to do what he wanted, but he couldn’t tell me what that was.
Are there really guys out there who don’t like BJs? I personally have a theory that the guys who don’t like have just never gotten a good one.
David…you said “I have found that they women that dont can not enjoy oral sex tend to have some major control issues.”
So far I haven’t enjoyed receiving oral…I alway thought it was just because no one had done it right. Any theories?
About the men being visual animals…I hate this. Because I’m not a barbie doll Idon’t get a lot of chances to show fellas what an amazing girl I am. I’ve spent many nights ast bars with my girlfriends…the guys chat me up all night. We joke we flirt we tease. But at the end of the night the guys ask me for the phone numbers of my girlfriends. It’s like they can’t process the fact that I’m smart and funny because I’m not hot. (I am cute, but not hot). Hate that about men — in general.
to CJ,
…oh, I am sure you are very hot……..a mans eyes are his biggest sex organ….all women have something to show……
CJ;
“…It